Now, I’m not big on entire columns bashing anyone. Whether it’s another columnist, an internet wrestling personality, a wrestler, an announcer, or even a politician, I’m not big on trash talking someone for a whole column. A few sentences here and there, sure, but not a whole column. Well, it’s time for an exception. After watching Smackdown a few hours ago, tonight exception must be...The Big Show.
Why is this jackass back in the WWF? He’s still as fat, slow, and stupid as ever. Better yet, why is this stupid son of a bitch getting such a huge push on his return? It makes me sick. I watched the Big Dumb Bastard (not Nasty, Dumb) stand up to all kinds of abuse from Raven tonight, and then fight off a half dozen other superstars. Why? Shouldn’t the big dumbass have to earn his push? He blew it like a cheap whore last time around, why should he get another free chance? It makes me sick.
I don’t care what Jim Ross or the WWF say on the WWF site, that fatass is not down to 413 lbs. He’s not in better shape, he’s not more anything except he’s a few months older than he was when we last saw him. It’s a shame the WWF pays him so much to be such a huge waste of space. He’s already been thrown in the mix with the Rock and Kurt Angle, two main event guys, not to mention that Kurt is the current Champion.
If I remember correctly, we were all promised bigger, better things from the Big Show. I’m still waiting. Wow, he can execute a mean chokeslam. Kane and Undertaker do better. Wow, he can grunt like an ape and yell like a madman. Whoopee! I can do that too, make me a star Vince! Wow, he has the charisma of a bag of dog crap and probably smells worse. That’ll make t-shirts fly off the shelves. He cuts the worst promos I have seen in a long, long time...and that INCLUDES the WCW promos. Now THAT is an insult.
Yeah, I’m not a promoter, I’m not a storyline writer, I’m just a wrestling fan, but my intelligence is insulted when they announce him as "the 500 lb. Monster" and then on the web site say he’s lost so much weight, when he looks exactly the same as he did when he went to OVW. I think this big dumbass should job and get his ass handed to him on a regular basis until he REALLY does lose weight and I think maybe he should take some acting lessons too. Something to clean up his performance. I’m sorry, but the Big Show is a disgrace. It pains me to realize the fact that he’s worn the WWF title. I’m tired of this. To hell with the Big Show. Give his push to Tazz or someone else that deserves it.
WEEEEEEEELLLLLLL, well it’s the Big HO! Get this fat ass off the airwaves, please Vince. I’m begging you man. I appreciate a good joke, you know...T.L. Hopper, funny stuff man, but the Big Show...that’s not even funny. Maybe he can go play for the XFL. Just get him the hell out of the WWF, and quit jerking us around. 413lbs my ass.
