First you have to understand a few things about me. I'm not just an average WWF fan. I like to consider myself a healthy person. I have many friends, I'm not really what most consider a nerd or anything, I even do fairly well with the ladies (knock on wood). However, I am a WWF fanatic. Plain and simple, the WWF pretty well runs my life. Maybe that's a little bizarre, but it's been that way for almost nine years now. A short amount of time in the grand scheme of things, but consider what the WWF was like nine years ago, and it's not such a small time frame. Besides that, many of my friends and family consider me to be a "Human Wrestling Encyclopedia" as I can name off exact dates and/or time frames of even the most insignificant wrestling-related matters. I wear a WWF t-shirt 6/7 days of the week, I have shelves and shelves and shelves of WWF tapes, and I even have Mondays, Thursdays and Sundays (evenings anyway) off of work as to catch WWF programming as often as possible. And of course all of my wrestling related activities here on the net. Obsession? Perhaps. But it's all balanced out with regular doses of movies, friends, girls, and of course other forms of music and television besides wrestling things.
All these things stated, it would be safe to say that anyone who knows me even a little bit knows of my "illness". It'd be hard to not know. Watching Bob Costas and Vince McMahon debate last week really set off some emotions in me. I'm not a big football fan, but even the XFL comments pissed me off. It's like Bob Costas, and most of the media for that matter, see not only Vince McMahon himself, but WWFE as a whole, as the devil. Vince was getting irate, and rightfully so, at this guy for asking such asinine questions. Asking Vince if XFL games would ever be fixed, asking if Owen Hart's death had caused reductions in high risk stunts, asking if he felt crotch grabbing and saying suck it is appropriate. I liked the way Vince handled things, and it made me proud to be a WWF fan that Vince handled such a big asshole without ending up punching him.
Much like the events on that show, I'll get people at school, work, even in family settings occasionally who will ask me an absolutely stupid question about wrestling. It would piss me off a lot less if they were at least educated on the subject. On that note, I thought it would be fun in this edition of the Tombstone if I shared a few of my real life experiences with such situations with you all, how I handled them, and just my thoughts in general on critics.
Honestly I can't recall so many instances of such situations until after wrestling had become popular again back in late 1997, early 1998. My first distinctive memory of having to defend wrestling and its moral integrity comes from Christmas, 1997. I was eating with my mom's family, wearing a new Undertaker t-shirt I had gotten for Christmas, (the old Undertaker shirt with the cross logo and his eyes rolled back in his head). First f*cking thing out of my Aunt's mouth (she's VERY Christian) when she sees my shirt is "Umm, is that a satanic shirt?" I just looked at her for a moment, then smartly said "Yeah, I worship Satan now, that's why I came to the family CHRISTmas." The next day (I had spent the night as it was several hours back home) I wore another new shirt, Steve Austin's 100% Whoop-Ass shirt. Most of my family found it quite funny and/or cool, but my grandmother chimes in with a "You can't go out in public like that! People will think you're not a good Christian young man!" Good lord. As if saying or wearing the word "whoop-ass" makes you the devil's pawn. I don't like religious debates too much, but I am a firm believer in the fact that you don't have to be a Bible-thumping, never swearing, perfect human being to be a good person and a decent Christian.
The next thing I really remember having to defend was when Austin had just broken out as a big babyface, and the Austin 3:16 shirt was introduced. Of course I bought one, and I wore it proudly at least once a week. EVERY F*CKING TIME I wore that shirt to school, I had other students, and even a couple teachers/administrators telling me that they found the shirt to be "offensive and sac religious". I was stunned, especially when, right in the middle of history class one day, the girl who sat in front of me, and just happened to be a cheerleader and one of the biggest whores I know, turned around, saw my shirt, and questioned me on it. I simply said this "Pull your panties up, then talk to me about morals". F*cking hypocrites.
Not only do I get questioned on Wrestling's moral values, but seeing that most people view me as an expert on the subject, I always get asked if it's real, or actually I guess the question goes "That stuff is all fake isn't it?" Yeah, sure it is. Let me give you a piledriver real quick, it won't hurt at all. Dumbasses. I was assigned a research paper last year, any topic I wanted, it had to be a certain length, a certain format, and all of that crap, but any topic. I chose to do "Professional Wrestling - Is it Fake, or Real?" I went through all of the steps in a research paper, documented everything correctly, had sources, and in my mind I had PROVED to this teacher (since she was the only one reading it) that pro-wrestling might have pre-determined winners, but it's anything but fake. She gave me an F. Why? Because in her mind I had turned in a fraudulent paper with a false outcome. Bullsh*t. This year, I did the same topic, redid the paper and all as to not be a cheater, but I got a 98 on it, almost a perfect paper. Why? Because although this teacher also didn't watch or understand wrestling, she had enough intelligence to understand the concept of what the WWF is.
That's what pisses me off the most, people who think they have a right to judge or make calls on the WWF or it's fans or athletes, when they don't even watch or understand what the WWF is. The WWF has toned down a lot compared to what it was a couple years ago. I can't say that it's either a good thing or a bad thing, because that's a double edged sword. If you don't like the WWF, don't watch it; but don't judge those of us who do choose to enjoy it, and don't act like you're better than us because you don't get it.
When Owen Hart died two years ago, was when I really fully realized what the mainstream public view wrestling as. It was as if the news was reporting that a circus performer had died while performing the high wire act or something. They treated it as if it was not a man's life that was just ended - but that it was just proof that the WWF was trash. They used a horrible accident to attack the WWF yet again. And what were the reactions from the people outside of the media? "Oh good, I never liked that guy anyway" was one I heard from a kid at school who was just a casual fan. My god, it was his character that you didn't like you asshole, not the man himself. Another comment I frequently heard was "Did they show it on TV? No? Oh man, that sucks!" And people think that WWF or wrestling fans are rabid animals who are just blood thirsty or something? Please.
Vince McMahon brought up a good point on the Bob Costas show the other night. When asked about the content of the wrestling shows, he asked Bob "What's on before this program? The Sopranos. How many times do they use the f*ck word in that show?" Vince also went on to mention Sex and the City and how it was much worse than the WWF content wise. Let me further point out that both the Sopranos and Sex and the City are highly acclaimed television shows which have won awards and are the subject of praise from everyone. The WWF has LESS violence, LESS sex, LESS language than those shows, yet the WWF is the show that is constantly under fire from the media and critics. It's so f*cking hypocritical that it redefines the word.
I have defended and defined wrestling for people for so long now, trying to justify to them that it's not what they think it is. I don't think it will ever come to a point where wrestling is accepted mainstream like football or baseball or basketball. Why? I have no idea. Maybe because the endings are predetermined, but you know, so are the endings to most television shows, and that doesn't bother people. So people who know little to nothing about wrestling will continue to attack and try to degrade it, and people like myself or on a grander scale Vince McMahon himself will continue to defend it.
So in conclusion, to those of you who have had similar situations happen to you, I say this: keep wearing your WWF t-shirts, keep defending the wrestling business to those hypocrites, and if they ask you about the moral standards you must lack to watch such a show, proudly raise your eyebrow, point at your crotch, and yell "SUCK IT!" And be proud, because you "get it".
Until next time.
