The Tombstone

This really didn’t come as a surprise to me. The 3:16 Report is shutting its doors for good. I knew that Adam was losing interest in the newsletter and in overall product that is the WWE lately as well. I knew that I had only felt the urge to write columns a few times lately, and I knew that with the summer approaching and a full time work schedule with that, that I wasn’t going to be able to do a whole lot of anything on the internet. But I’m not going to speak for Adam or anyone else, I’m going to speak for myself, in this, the last edition probably ever of the Tombstone.

Let me first say that my half of the decision to fold the newsletter up and call it history has zero to do with the quality or lack thereof in WWE programming lately. I admit that RAW has sucked a goat’s anus lately, but I still watch faithfully, and I still enjoy the hell out of Smackdown! I’m a mark for life I guess, so rest assured that I have not lost interest in the sport of kings in any way, shape, or form. Hell, I’m going to back-to-back nights of action on Monday and Tuesday night this very week and I can’t wait.

No, despite the lackluster RAW shows as of late, I still find great joy in the WWE. My decision to shut down the newsletter comes from a combination of other factors. It comes from a lack of time to do columns, it comes from a lack of interest in anything we put out from the subscribers, and it comes from the fact that frankly Adam and I just put too much damn work into this thing and we don’t get paid for it, and it gets pretty old sometimes, you know? Mostly though, this newsletter is shutting down because Adam and I are too short on time. I guess college life can do that to a person, I don’t know.

Before we get to that emotional goodbye though, let’s talk briefly about the WWE as it is now known, and my thoughts on recent items in the wrestling world, shall we? First, the new name itself; World Wrestling Entertainment. I’ll never ever get used to saying WWE instead of WWF, but I have gotten used to typing WWE already. The name might be somewhat appropriate considering the ratio of entertainment vs. wrestling, but it still sounds funny to my ears, and I just don’t know that I’ll ever get used to it. Goddamn pandas.

In other news, the infamous flight back from Europe sure got a lot of press. And shortly thereafter, Mr. Perfect and Scott Hall found themselves unemployed. I can’t say that I didn’t see Scott Hall’s termination coming, but I was a bit shocked by Mr. Perfect’s release. In any event, at least the WWE is actually punishing bad behavior, hopefully silencing some of the comparisons to the old WCW.

The Undertaker is your new WWE Undisputed Champion. At least the title is off of Hulk Hogan, but the Undertaker isn’t that much better in many ways. I’m glad Hogan got his final (please God, please let it be the final) run with the title, and I’m glad that the Undertaker is getting his final (again, please God) run with the belt as well, but that’s really the only reason that I can see to NOT bitch and say to put the title on Triple H, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, or even Steve Austin.

Maybe it’s because I was at Backlash, but I really thought Judgment Day was a disappointment with the exception of the Hell in a Cell match. Which, that match was proof that you can have a great Hell in a Cell match without a Foley-like bump from the cage.

The ratings keep sliding, for RAW especially. All I can say is...PUSH BOOKER T! DO IT! Yeah, sucka!

The British Bulldog died two weeks ago. That is some truly sad news. The Hart family just can’t get a break, can they? The rumors of the Bulldog’s death being tied in to steroid use bother me, but don’t surprise me. I’m just glad the WWE did the right thing and aired a tribute to the Bulldog.

Now then, on to the final issue of the 3:16 Report. I don’t want to make this too long, because I have rehashed over and over again in our 50th, 100th, 150th, and 200th issues how I met Adam, got onto the newsletter, etc., so you know that part. What I will say now that our final issue has arrived, is a thank you.

Thank you to Adam Honey for being a great editor and a friend as well. Thank you to all of our present and past staff who have contributed and helped to make this a hell of a newsletter. Thank you to the subscribers for reading our material.

In a way, I never thought that this moment would come. In another way, I always knew it would. But let me just say that no matter what the circumstances, I have always been glad and proud to be a member of this staff, and proud to write for this newsletter.

In closing, I hope that you have all enjoyed at least one or two of my columns, and I hope that maybe you found some of my thoughts and opinions to not be totally foolish.

Ordinarily, I close out my column with “Until next time…” Well folks, there is no next time. So this is the Tombstone, this is Jeremy Strunk, saying goodbye, and thanks.