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The Rock works in a grocery store...
(Rock scans a few items, brings up the total)
ROCK: You owe the Great One $15.01
CUSTOMER: (handing Rock a 20) Hang on, I've got a penny..
ROCK: You've got a penny?
CUSTOMER: Ye..
ROCK: IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'VE GOT A PENNY!

The Rock works at Waffle House...
(Rock walks up to a table to take an order..)
ROCK: How are you doing this morning?
CUSTOMER: Pretty g..
ROCK: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU'RE DOING!
CUSTOMER: Umm, well, can I get the waffle breakfast?
ROCK: Waffles?
CUSTOMER: Yeah, I um, like waffles.
ROCK: But, the Rock wants to know..Do you like pancakes?
CUSTOMER: They're alright.
ROCK: Alright? Well the Rock says you take your little waffles, you pour some syrup over those waffles, then you cut the waffles into little bitty pieces..
CUSTOMER: Okay..
ROCK: Don't interrupt the Rock!
CUSTOMER: But..
ROCK: KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH! You take your little cut up waffles, you turn 'em sideways, and you stick them straight up your candy ass!

The Rock works in a bakery...
(A Customer walks into the bakery..a rather attractive young woman..)
ROCK: Welcome to the Great One's bakery! Can the Rock help you?
WOMAN: I need to buy a pie for dinner at my parents house.
ROCK: What kind of pie do your parents like? (raises the people's eyebrow)
WOMAN: Well my mom likes apple pie.
ROCK: And your dad? Does your dad like apple pie?
WOMAN: I can't remember for sure, pumpkin, pecan..something like that.
ROCK: So your dad's favorite pie starts with the letter P, is that right?
WOMAN: Yeah I think so.
ROCK: And it's not pumpkin, not pecan, perhaps it's peach? Does your dad like peach pie?
WOMAN: I don't think so.
ROCK: Well, then the Rock knows exactly what pie your dad would like. In fact, the Rock likes this particular pie himself.
WOMAN: Do you have any?
ROCK: (raises the people's eyebrow) No honey, the Rock doesn't have any of that pie, but you do.
WOMAN: What kind of pie are we talking about?
ROCK: Why don't you just go ahead and serve the Rock up a nice big slice of that poontang pie!
WOMAN: What?!
ROCK: The Rock likes it nice and warm, served up with a little whipped cream on top.
WOMAN: Umm, we're talking about p..
ROCK: Poontang, yes, and the Rock knows, no no, the Rock GUAREN-DAMN-TEES that your dad would love a big slice of poontang pie!
WOMAN: Well my mom..
ROCK: Shhh! The Rock did not tell you to speak! Go, go and bring your dad a big piece of poontang pie! IF YA SMEELLLLLLLLLL, WHAT THE ROCK, IS COOKIN'!

Until next time...