The Tombstone

It's been awhile, so I'll start by explaining where this column went, where it's headed, blah blah blah. First things first, the reason I quit this column for a few months is basically because I got sick of it, and my columns started to suck anyway. I was (at the time) working on the 3:16 Report Newsletter, and don't get me wrong, I didn't hate the newsletter, but being on there meant I had to write the column more often. So it started to get where my columns sucked because I had no inspiration. Now don't get me wrong, there were very good ones, but there were bad ones too. Anyway, when I redesigned my site, I decided the Tombstone would be through with for a while, until I started to get my inspiration back. So here I am. From now on, I'm not going to call this a "weekly" column, because I may or may not update this every week, it'll just be when I think of a good topic. Anyway, this time around, I'm going to talk about Sunny, Sable, and some other things that have bugged me since I last wrote a Tombstone.

First off, I'm just going to say it, yes, I am a mark! At least when it comes to the women of the WWF. I basically judge them purely on looks, but hell, I'm a guy, that's what Vince hires these girls for...for guys to drool over them, and hopefully get a few t-shirt and ratings buys at the same time. Now rumors are all over the internet that Sunny is in some sort of rehab program. For some reason I find that hard to believe, even though it came from one of the more creditable newsletters on the net. But like I said, I'm a mark when it comes to the ladies. I see Sunny, and I see one hell of a good looking woman, and I can't really picture her shooting drugs into her arms or anything. Meanwhile, while Sunny is out of the WWF picture, we've got Sable...the queen of implants. Hey, I drooled just as much as anyone when she took off that top at Fully Loaded, but Sable just doesn't ring my bell like Sunny does. The facts are that Sable has a couple of huge assests, and that's why most guys like her so much. I think another thing is the push she gets, as a woman who can beat the hell out of most anyone. Back when Sable was just a valet, Sunny was more popular than Sable. Things change. Sunny wasn't really involved in anything as far as angles go for a span of over a year up until WrestleMania XIV. While Sunny was guest refereeing Mini-Matches or annoncing Light Heavyweight matches, Sable was feuding with Marc Mero and Luna, so Sable had more of a spotlight. Personally, I think putting Sunny with the LOD was a horrible decision (except for those outfits....WOOO!) because the LOD have pretty much lost all of their steam with teams like the New Age Outlaws gaining in popularity. Anyway, I really don't think Sable deserves to be pushed as much as she is. There's just something about Sable...probably the fact that she's had more implants than Michael Jackson has had boyfriends, that really doesn't seem right with Sable. She almost seems.....skanky. Sunny on the other hand...in my opinion..is a perfect 10. I don't give a rat's ass if she is on drugs or what, at least she is seeking help if she is in rehab. Sunny or Sable? Sunny all the way! Oh hell yeah!

The 1998 King of the Ring occured during the Tombstone's rest period. On that pay per view we saw the Undertaker destroy Mankind, and we saw Kane win the WWF title. I'm going to get to both of that. First I'll talk about Mankind and then the Undertaker. Mankind, like him or not, is one hell of a worker. No one else is going to take bumps like he did at King of the Ring....and keep working! Mick Foley deserves more of a push than a tag team title reign that lasted 3 weeks! But I'll quit bitching about that for now. The Undertaker, he's another guy that works hurt and doesn't miss a beat. The Undertaker has had a broken ankle now for over a month, and he keeps going with the damn thing taped up! I know Stone Cold Steve Austin is such a bad ass and all, but the Undertaker was and is the original bad ass of the WWF. I hope that the Undertaker beats Austin for the belt, because I know there isn't much of a chance of anyone less popular than Austin or Undertaker carrying the title right now. Now then, there's Kane. Yeah yeah, maybe I'm a mark of Kane as well, because I love the guy. I love the pyro, the whole damn gimmick! I was really hoping for Kane to win that belt from Austin, and when it happened, well, I almost wet my pants with joy! Of course I knew it wouldn't last, but I was still pissed when Austin won it back the next night. Kane is another guy that deserves more than a s**tty little tag team title reign. Then we've got Stone Cold Steve Austin. I like the guy and all, but I am sick of him! It's all about Austin wherever you go! I make it a point when I attend a WWF event to wear a Kane or Undertaker shirt instead of Austin just so I'll stand out a litttle bit! This guy is everywhere! I think I've ODed on Stone Cold! It would be a nice break for Undertaker to win the belt at Summerslam, and let Austin be in the back seat for awhile.

That's it for this round....until next time....Rest In Peace! Or BURN IN HELL! Take your pick!

This column is the opinions of Jeremy Strunk. Any comments can be directed at kane@t-three.com.