The Tombstone

I'm sorry, I have to do it! It can't wait any longer! Yes, it's time to discuss that dreaded word.....POLITICS! I know just the sound of that word makes some people want to run screaming, but I'm going to stray from the topic of Professional Wrestling, and talk about this whole damn mess in the White House.

Gees...maybe the two most deadly words to the history of modern America have been Monica Lewinsky, or Bill Clinton, whichever way you want to see it, or I guess it could be Ken Starr too. Anyway, this whole damn mess has been making news headlines since January, and that's just not right dammit!

To put it bluntly, I just don't give a flying f*** what Bill Clinton is doing in his bedroom, even if it is the White House! It's not my or anyone else's business anyway! You don't see prosecutors launching million dollar investigations against a guy living in Montana that's cheated on his wife, so why the hell should Clinton be the exception?!

In my view, the only damn reason why this is all on the headlines is because of Ken Starr's grudges against the president. You don't spend that kind of money asking questions about who's what was where on what day unless you've got a real problem with someone involved. The fact is, I don't give a damn if Bill Clinton DID tell Monica Lewinsky to lie about some sexual relationship under oath, it's really no one's damn business anyway! I mean, no one is going to really give a rat's ass (besides his family) if Clinton did have an affair. I know I don't care, and I really don't think anyone else does either.

A man, even if he is the president, should be able to do whatever he wants (that is legal) behind closed doors, and last time I checked, having an affair couldn't get you in trouble with the law. Maybe it's not the best choice of morals or anything, but the man has a right to his privacy, and all the whole damn investigation has caused is money being spent to find out who slept with who, and national headlines that show just how sick America can be.

You know, the whole damn nation, even Jerry Lawler on Monday, has been obssessed with this thing for way too long, and it's really old. Maybe I'm being a little hypocritical saying that since I'm writing about it, but oh well dammit! I have to say though, it has made for interesting material for jokes! You know, like what do plungers and Monica Lewinsky have in common? They both suck! Alright, that might be a bad example.

Well, I feel a headache coming on thinking about this load of crap, so I'll close it for this edition of the Tombstone.

That's it for this round....until next time....Rest In Peace! Or BURN IN HELL! Take your pick!

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This column is the opinions of Jeremy Strunk. Any comments can be directed at kane@t-three.com.