Booker T works in a candy store...
(A woman and her young child walk into the store.)
BOOKER: Yo, can I help ya, sucka?
WOMAN: I’m sorry, what?
BOOKER: I said, can I help ya, sucka?
WOMAN: No, we wanted chocolate, not suckers
BOOKER: What da hell you talkin’ ‘bout, sucka?
WOMAN: Huh?
BOOKER: Yo, you want some candy, or what?
WOMAN: Just a pound of the milk chocolate, please sir.
CHILD: Can I get more mommy?
BOOKER: Yo, what you want sucka?
WOMAN: Do you sell anything BESIDES suckers here?
BOOKER: What you mean besides suckers, sucka?
WOMAN: Come on son, let’s go, this guy can’t speak English.
Booker T drives a limo for prom night at the local high school...
(Two teenage boys with their girlfriends get into the limo, Booker T is holding the door open for them.)
BOY 1: Hey, do I know you?
BOOKER: Man, you don’t know nobody, sucka!
BOY 2: Hey, yeah, you’re Booker T!
BOOKER: Man, don’t act like you know me, you don’t know me, sucka!
GIRL 1: Who’s Booker T?
GIRL 2: Never heard of anybody named Booker T.
BOOKER: What? I’m da five time WCW Champ, sucka!
GIRL 1: Is that like, a good thing?
BOOKER: It means I’m five times the best, sucka!
BOY 2: So, if WCW is that great, um, why the hell are you driving a limo?
BOOKER: Man, shut up before I bitch slap you so hard I knock the pimples off yo’ ugly ass face, sucka!
BOY 1: Oh yeah, was it that whole acting segment you did on RAW a couple weeks ago that put the nail in the coffin?
BOOKER: What ‘chu talkin’ bout sucka? I’m a great actor man.
GIRL 2: Good at acting like an uneducated piece of sh...
BOOKER: (Interupting) Where’m I takin’ you to, suckas?
BOY 2: Too many shots to the head? We’re in freakin’ tuxes and dresses, you idiot, where do you think we’re going?
BOOKER: You should be headed to rent some of my best matches down at the video store sucka.
BOY 1: Best? You have to be good to have a best match.
BOOKER: Man, forget ya’ll, walk to tha damn prom, suckas!
(Booker T gets in the limo and drives off with a screech.)
Booker T as a telemarketer...
(Phone ringing, Booker answers)
BOOKER: Yea, sucka.
CALLER: Hello?
BOOKER: Yea, sucka, wha’chu need?
CALLER: Um, maybe I have the wrong number..
BOOKER: Na foo’
CALLER: I thought I dialed 236-0...
BOOKER: (Interrupting) Listen sucka, this is da number to change long distance ta AT&T, is dat what you need, sucka?
CALLER: I just wanted to switch long distance plans, yeah.
BOOKER: Den I got what you need sucka, you pay only 10 cents a minute...(pause)...sucka!
CALLER: Maybe I’ll just pay the extra money to use a company who speaks English.
(Caller hangs up, phone rings again, Booker answers)
BOOKER: 5-time WCW Champ talkin’, sucka! You want some long distance or what?
CALLER 2: Is this AT&T?
BOOKER: Yea dis is AT...
CALLER 2: (Interupting) IT DOESN’T MATTER IF THIS IS AT&T!
(Click)
Until next time...
