The Tombstone

The Tombstone



Well, I attended a Live WWF Event this past weekend, so I have decided to provide the results in this edition of the Tombstone.

Before the opening match, Howard Finkel came out, and gave the traditional "you're our greatest fans" speech. Then he went over the rules of the arena, laser pens get you thrown out now, and then the event started.

The opening contest was Faarooq & Scorpio vs. The D.O.A. Neither team got much of a pop or heat, but what do you expect for the opening contest? Scorpio got his ass kicked through most of the match, missed a moonsault and caught another, then in the end it was Faarooq tagging Scorpio back in too early combined with interference from Paul Ellering that allowed the D.O.A. to get the win.

Next up was Marvelous Marc Mero vs. Bradshaw. Toward the end of the match, Bradshaw and the referee were distracted by Jaqueline, and Mero landed a low blow. Just when it looked like Mero would get the win, Sable came out, to a huge crowd pop, and distracted Mero to allow Bradshaw to get the win. After Mero recovered, Jaqueline got on the mic and told Sable to get back out to the ring. After a minute or two, Sable came back out. Her and Jaqueline fought for awhile, until the referee brought in a table for the arm wrestling match, Sable vs. Jaqueline. They grappled back and forth until Sable got the win, but the ref didn't see it. Sable started to celebrate not knowing the ref didn't see it, and Jaqueline attacked her, trying to damage her right arm (the arm wrestling arm). The ref ordered the match to continue, and Sable got the win anyway, then threw Jacqueline around the ring a little.

Next up was the newly crowned WWF European Champion, X-Pac, vs. Jeff Jarrett. X-Pac got a pretty big pop as well. Jeff Jarrett did his mic work, "I've just got 4 words of advice for you, DON'T PISS ME OFF!" X-Pac took a bronco ride, and eventually got the win. After he snagged the pin, Southern Justice and Jarrett looked as though they were going to cut X-Pac's hair, until the New Age Outlaws rushed the ring and cleared them out.

The next match was D-Lo Brown vs. Dustin Runnels. D-Lo got a pretty good pop from the fans. Dustin got lots of "you suck"s yelled in his direction. Dustin did his mic work, saying "Welcome to Hell."..."and yes, stained with sex!"..."Val Venis committed adultury with my wife, and you sick freaks cheer him for it!"..."he is coming back, and you will repent!" D-Lo mocked Dustin some, and controlled the match most of the time. Toward the end of the match, D-Lo faked a knee injury, which got Dustin on the mic saying how he would be forgiving, and then saying "eat me!" When Dustin turned to put the mic up, D-Lo rolled him up, the mic still in Dustin's hands, and got the three. As Dustin was being pinned, you could overhear him saying some rather strong words. After he was beaten, he got up and said something like "do as I say, not as I do."

Next was the man who was originally supposed to face Triple H (Triple H had knee surgery and was not able to show up), The Rock vs. Vader. Vader ran into the pole holding up the curtain as he entered, and then got in the ring, and called the fans trailer park trash. The Rock came out to a HUGE pop and got on the mic and said "Without a doubt Vader, YOU are the biggest piece of trailer park trash The Rock has ever seen!" Then the Rock did his usual work, "Tonight before all of his fans, the Rock is gonna raise his big right hand, raise the people's eyebrow, and he's gonna lay the smack down on your candy ass!" Vader left the ring and took a foam Austin middle finger out of the crowd and held it up to the Rock. The People's Elbow got a huge pop, as did the Rock Bottom, which got the Rock the win.

For the WWF Tag Team Championship, it was The New Age Outlaws vs. Southern Justice. The NAO came out to pre-recorded "Oh you didn't know? Your ass better call somebody!" But Billy Gunn did the whole mic work, I suppose still promoting the idea that Road Dog can't talk. The noise made for the NAO was amazing. In the end Billy Gunn got the pin by nailing one of Southern Justice with a Tag Title belt.

Next up was a submission match between Ken Shamrock and Owen Hart. Shamrock was accompanied by "Oklahoma Ledgend" Danny Hodge, and Owen was accompanied by Mark Henry. The match started with Owen nailing Shamrock with a chair before the bell, causing Shamrock to be dragged out of the ring, but Owen caught him in the aisle and they fought out there. Once it got back to the ring, it was just a few seconds and Shamrock had the Ankle Lock on with Owen giving up.

The main event, for the WWF Title was a Fatal 4-Way Match with Sgt. Slaughter as the guest referee. It was Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker vs. Kane vs. Mankind. Slaughter got on the mic and said he promised McMahon that Austin would not leave Oklahoma City with the title, and that he would not break that promise. Mankind came out first, to a decent pop. He was followed by Kane, and those two started brawling as soon as Kane hit the ring. While Kane and Mankind fought, Undertaker's music played and he came to the ring. Mankind turned from Kane to face the Undertaker, and got nailed from behind by Kane. Undertaker and Kane mauled Mankind on the outside, when the sound of the glass meant that Stone Cold was on his way out. Austin got the biggest damn pop I have ever heard! I literally wondered what was keeping that building from falling down. After Austin got to the ring, things went back and forth between all four men. At one point, even Undertaker and Kane got into it. Slaughter wound up getting hit by Austin, since the Sarge wouldn't count for him after he hit the Stunner. Another referee came to the ring, and after a few more minutes, Austin got the Stunner on Kane for the win.

Overall, the best house show I have ever been to. The fans were really into it. It was disappointing that Triple H wasn't there, since I know I was wondering if he'd get anyone to "show the goods" especially. Anyway, there is nothing like a live WWF event, and if you've never been to one, you have no idea what you are missing.

That's it for this round....until next time....Rest In Peace! Or BURN IN HELL! Take your pick!


Back to WWE WAR ZONE
This column is the opinions of Jeremy Strunk. Any comments can be directed at kane@t-three.com. 1