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When you’re taking a shower, swimming, or even just taking a sip of water out of a bottle or glass, have you ever felt the urge (or actually done it) to spit the water into the air in a mist, mimicking Triple H’s entrance?

When you’re having a conversation, and someone says the phrase “it’s true”, have you ever finished his or her sentence by adding, “it’s DAMN true”?

Let’s say you’re holding a steel folding chair, about to sit down, but someone walks into the room. Have you ever felt the urge (or, actually done it) to slam the chair over their head?

When your mom or grandmother or wife or whoever bakes cookies, have you ever taken the cookie sheet and slammed it down over her head?

It’s family reunion time, and there’s tables set up all over the yard and house with food and whatnot lied out for the family. Have you ever found the urge to drive a family member through one of those tables?

When you watch football, do you insist on calling a tackle a “spear” or a “gore”?

You’re driving down the highway when a large man on a motorcycle passes you, does your mind automatically shift to thoughts of the Undertaker making his entrance?

When consuming any type of canned beverage, do you find yourself wanting to stand up on a chair or something, and toss the beverage down your throat, all over your shirt, etc., ala Stone Cold Steve Austin?

Let’s say someone runs past you, have you ever stuck your arm out to clothesline them?

When you see one of your buddies, does your conversation go something like this?
THEM: Hey man.
YOU: WASSSUP?!
THEM: Not much, how are you doing?
YOU: Oh, I’m pretty good, it’s true, it’s true.
THEM: That’s good. How did your date go last night?
YOU: Well, when I first saw her, all I could think about was the real slobberknocker we could have in bed.
THEM: Right, so she’s hot huh?
YOU: What?
THEM: So she looked good?
YOU: What?
THEM: She was attractive right?
YOU: What? What?
THEM: Shut up. That shit gets old really fast.
YOU: Yeah, she was hot, I wanted to show her my grapefruits really bad.
THEM: So did you get some?
YOU: Yeah, I just told her to suck it and she grabbed my strudel.
THEM: Nice, you going to see her again?
YOU: Yeah, we’re having a rematch tonight. I think this time I can make it an iron man match.
THEM: Good luck man, I’ll talk to you later.
YOU: Have a nice day!

If you are showing one or more of these symptoms, you may indeed be a WWF fanatic. But there’s nothing wrong with that, just hold your head up high, and tell all of those who question you that you know how to apply the Crippler Crossface.

Until next time…