You know, despite the big WWF vs. WCW/ECW storyline, there has to be other smaller storylines between the wrestlers to make the fans interested in the matches or else things just don’t make sense and you’ve just got pointless matchups with no reason for the fans to care about cheering, booing, or showing any emotion at all.
Enter the opening segment, of Kane vs. Rob Van Dam for the WWF HardCore title. It was an intriguing idea I bet to the bookers, because when I heard Kane’s music, and then RVD’s, I was like "whoa, cool!" But then I was quickly let down. Kane and RVD are both awesome and I am fans of both men, but their styles clash way too much and it showed here. They put on a decent match, but nothing spectacular, certainty nothing to kick off what was supposed to be a big night. The crappy DDP run-in ending didn’t help things either. DDP vs. Undertaker is old, and therefore DDP vs. Kane is guilty by association. More on that later. One thing though, I was very happy to see a match start off RIW instead of talking.
Oh my god, who the hell decided to put Booker T into a "acting" segment?! I have seen bad acting on wrestling shows before, but it hasn’t typically been WWF shows. Booker T CAN put on a good match, and Booker T has some good name recognition and credibility, but as far as acting in a backstage segment or whatever, spare me the torture, please. I found a couple parts mildly humorous, when the guy read off Booker’s application comments as "what the hell references did the Rock have to act in that dumbass Mummy movie?" (or something to that effect) and "Yea I’ve got the locket sucka!" I cracked a smile at those two comments, but beyond that these segments were stupid, pointless, and wasted time that could have been spent to develop other storylines.
What the hell? Let the bodies hit the floor. Uggh. I tell you one thing, it seems that Stephanie’s boobs will NEVER hit the floor. See, even daddy’s little girl had to get a little plastic surgery. Anyway, I hate Stephanie interview segments. Triple H and/or Mick Foley’s involvement made them tolerable before, but with Mick not around and Triple H injured, I just want to grab my remote and hit mute whenever she starts talking. Hey, how many times do you think she said the words "bodies hit the floor" or a variation thereof? Good god, spare me. I guess that’s the Summerslam song. At least we shouldn’t have to put up with it more than another two weeks. I hate it when someone repeats something over and over again though. Anyway, Steph rambles for awhile, until Y2J’s music hits. Thank god. Jericho lashes into Stephanie, pretty funny stuff. Until, another cheap ass promotional thing (god, it was like the WWF’s infomercial segment), as Jericho brings down two "apes" from "Planet of the Apes" to hit Stephanie with a pie. What the hell? Where was the point in this segment? To promote that damn song and that stupid movie. Yippee.
Now we are privileged to get to see another person who can’t act, Debra, try to do her thing backstage with Lita. I like Lita, but I can’t stand Debra. Lita makes a couple comments about how she was impressed by Debra on Smackdown!, and Debra acts upset. We’d see why later.
Next we got to see Tajiri and Regal backstage with X-Pac. You know, I actually really enjoy these segments between Tajiri and Regal along with the other superstars. Tajiri might not be able to speak English, but he does a good job of playing it up anyway. Tajiri mumbles something in Japanese, Regal laughs, and tells X-Pac that Tajiri just said he sucks. The match is made for later on.
Okay, Stacy Kiebler is really hot, but that’s as far as it goes. Torrie Wilson is also attractive, but come on. Do these women really need to get so much damn TV time when there’s so many better athletes backstage who don’t get showcased at all? This match with them against Jackie was pretty terrible, and then Ivory joins the Alliance? WTF?! No one cares about Ivory! No one liked her anyway! She was in Right to Censor, no one gave two shits about her before she was in RTC, while she was in RTC, and now no one cares if she turns on the WWF! Stupid, pointless turn. What the hell were they smoking when they booked this?!
DDP is okay, I guess. But, this thing with Sara and the Undertaker has been going on for way too long. I just think DDP and ‘Taker would both be better off working with different opponents. It’ll be a decent match at Summerslam, but I sure hope that’s the end of this feud.
Why does anybody care if Heyman laces into Terri? Although just for the record, I think it’s really funny that Saturn left her for a mop.
We were then treated to more of the Debra/Austin he said/she said crap about Lita. Setting up a pointless match with Austin against Matt Hardy. Shouldn’t Austin be feuding with Kurt Angle? Not Matt Hardy? Then we get more of Booker T, trying to act. I sure hope his horrible acting was scripted, because it seemed worse than anything that could have possibly been scripted.
X-Pac took on Tajiri up next for the WWF Light-Heavyweight Championship. I like X-Pac as a light-heavyweight much more than when he’s trying to fight with the big boys. But why did he go back to his old music and is not using the X-Factor music? Odd, as X-Factor has seemingly just been dropped or forgotten about ever since ECW reformed. Anyway, pretty good match, with Tajiri grabbing the win and the belt.
More backstage stuff with Austin and Debra about Lita. Uggh. Austin is really funny when he wants to be, but this was just pointless. Followed again by more of Booker T’s crappy acting. Maybe it’s an Alliance thing?
Next we have the Dudleys against Jericho and a "mystery partner". I was thinking Spike’s leg was healed by now, and was hoping that’d be who the mystery partner would turn out to be, just to add some interest to this match, but I was wrong, and it was Kurt Angle who would join Jericho against the Dudleys. I don’t know why Austin didn’t come out and do something here to add to the drama of his match with Angle at Summerslam, but he didn’t. Kurt Angle makes Buh Buh tap with the Ankle Lock.
Pretty funny stuff with Christian asking Lance Storm to pose with him and Edge exposing Lance’s Teletubbie underwear. Decent match too. Lance Storm is a great classic heel, with the whole cheating with the ropes to win thing. As much as I don’t like the WCW invasion, Lance Storm is an exception.
Undertaker finally gets to the arena. I don’t know why, but I had a funny thought during this segment. Where has Vince McMahon been since last week’s RIW? I mean, if the owners of ECW and WCW are being featured so much, why isn’t Vince shown at all? Kinda weird if you ask me.
Next was a backstage segment between the Rock and Kurt Angle that was actually one of the highlights of the night. Angle had Rock drink some milk for his match, and the slate was "wiped clean" between the two of them. The Rock does need to learn that some things are better to not be repeated every week though. The "blue hell" comment on Smackdown! had me rolling, but when he repeated it on RIW, I was just like "oh god". Good segment though.
More Austin and Debra paranoia and lying. Uggh. Followed up by Undertaker tearing up DDP’s shrine to Sara, only to be attacked by a DDP look-a-like (Kanyon) and DDP with a weapon. Kane came in and chased them off. I smell a tag team match sometime soon.
Next is the pointless Austin vs. Hardy match. Austin is a great heel though, and he stunners Lita and Matt, gets the clean win. Again though, I found myself wondering why Angle didn’t run in and cost Austin the match. That would have made the whole pointless backstage segments seem worthwhile if Angle had cost Austin a match to the underdog Matt Hardy. By the way, when is Matt Hardy going to defend the European Title?
Now it’s time for the main event. Decent match between Shane and the Rock, although not the classics we have seen from Shane in the past, it was presentable. The ending was kind of awkward I thought, but at least the Booker T vs. Rock match for Summerslam is actually getting some buildup.
Overall I just thought this show was very lackluster and sloppy. It reminded me way too much of the old WCW with the pointless and crappy backstage segments and the no heat matches. I hope Smackdown! is much much better.
