who's soonger??

Three days in a row?!

Monday, April 1.

This is truly a miracle -- 3 days in a row. I have impressed myself. I suppose one could say I have something I want to say as of late. I know there are a few people (probably close friends & family) who actually take the time to read what I have to say -- thanks. I guess it's nice to know that the small amount of time I have to free associate, someone may get something out of it. However ... it would be nice to know, through direct acknowledgement, that people are reading this crappy online journal -- please write me -- I like to know that people are reading this.

Let's see... what did I do today? I did get up at an absurd time -- 6AM. The first day back on early morning shift can be quite brutal. What to do? It's my turn for mornings so I have to deal with it. It seems like I have a lot to deal with at work. My tirade in the previous couple entries seems to provide me with a catalyst to move on to greener pastures. My resolve for change within the department is falling on deaf ears -- a few people close to me (at work) know of my discontent and I'm sure they can sympathize. Many people, in general, can sympathize with work-related problems. However, it is really getting to me, to the point where I am beginning to feel as if I can no longer be a constructive part for the department. I am starting to feel isolated from the others -- I only care for the best interest of the patient, without much regard for how it impacts with coworker cohesion.

In fact, I can honestly say that I have very little respect for many of my coworkers. They don't share the same work ethic I have and for the most part, I feel as if they are more involved with themselves as opposed to the greater good for those we are supposed to provide care. My patience towards change is wearing thin -- if I do not respect those around me, how can I, in good conscience, be a good colleague? What challenges my feelings is how some people can walk up to my face and say they are giving their 100% when it is plainly clear they are not? People are knowingly taking advantage of the system (we have an honour system) and administration is doing nothing about it? I am not going to be someone's patsy -- no more. I'm gonna do what I am asked and no more. What's the point when I am getting a lot more work and getting paid less? How long is it going to take me before I go up on the pay scale? I will always be at the bottom of the seniority list -- I'll always get the shaft. Mind you, I did not stay for more than 1/2 of the meeting -- it was going nowhere and the technicians were asking me for help out front. (Again: my work ethic working against me -- always the reliable one) I had a lot to check, phone calls to answer and the ever-growing stack of unprocessed orders -- my obligation to get medications up to the patients weighed more than having a 'free lunch' with the VP finance -- I got stuck all by myself in the dispensary to do the lion's share of work (again). Do I have the word SUCKER written on my face?

My current thinking is this: if I'm going to get the shaft, why don't I get paid more to do the same bloody thing? Today, we had a 'talk' with the VP finance of the hospital corporation and they tried to justify their current wage situation. We are well-paid pharmacists, no doubt on provincial averages. However, what they failed to address our unique situation. We are situated directly across from the US. Many of our pharmacists are US educated and may still have a US-active license -- at any time, they can leave. Similarly, a new bill will be signed allowing freer passage for Canadian pharmacists to work in Michigan. (There is no doubt in my mind that I will pursue those options once they are clearly defined -- I have to live up to my 1 year contract before I can work elsewhere. Then we'll see where things go from there.) Thirdly, how well has administration been able to recruit and maintain pharmacists? What enticement has administration given me to stay onboard? Their argument is "benefits and other added bonuses". What they failed to see is that they were using pharmacists with > 5 years seniority as their model -- too bad it only applies to 1/2 of our staff. It is clear that I could make more money and get comparable benefits in retail. I prefer speaking to the public more (which I do very little in the hospital) which counselling provides in retail. The only major disadvantages working retail for me is that I have to stand up all day, which is bad for my legs / back and that I have to deal with 3rd party insurance, which is an ever-growing problem today.

You know what? I'm almost at the point where I would rather suffer physical pain than have to deal with the same characters at work. Can you believe I feel it's almost that bad? Don't get me wrong -- I am totally on great terms with the staff -- pharmacy technicians, admin, most of the staff. But it's the system that does not compensate the performers. What incentive do I have to make that difference outside of my own work ethic? If this was a private company, there is no doubt in my mind that the people I have issues with would be spoken to, if not reprimanded for their lack of productivity. Is it that hard to do some work?

Ai ya! This topic has become so consuming in my mind that it has affected my relationship with friends and family. Why? Do I just care too much? Am I too much a proponent of fairness? I used to be so optimistic on what I could do as a person / professional but now I'm beginning to see that you need some support to get change done. It seems to me that my current situation won't be getting any better any time soon. I'm going to not take things so seriously now -- should wind down, relax, think about how good I have things and take advantage of my situation, just like those around me. I'll start asking those who rely on me so much in the dept to ask others -- I just can't be bothered any more to let other ride on my coat tails. It's just not worth it -- just do my time, keep myself occupied, not work too hard (otherwise I'll be asked to do something else) and just tote the line. It's a shame, too -- I do see great potential in where I work -- just too bad people around me don't share the same goals as I do.

A week in review

Friday, April 12.

I had a good run... but all good things come to an end. I have to say I had myself a very good birthday. Got up late, my girlfriend took me out for lunch, did some shopping, went out AGAIN for supper and I went out that night. Quite a full day. I was very happy to see that many of my friends remembered my b'day. Got a truckload o' calls and a significant amount of gifts. My parents bought me a digital camera -- I now can post photos on the 'net without having to go to the developer and scan them. (Plus I don't have to install the scanner onto my brother's computer -- it slows boot up times considerably!) Dorothy bought me some fog light bulbs for my Acura -- she got some pointers from me ... so it was greatly appreciated that she got me something that I would like. Pat bought me a nice tie -- Christian Dior. Rashna was very generous -- she got me a Hugo Boss wallet and some Burger King bucks for me to spend! I'll have to use them one day in the near future...

Over the weekend, it was productive. I did some shopping of my own on Saturday. D & I went to the mall -- I couldn't believe how many people were out there! It was insane. I guess the weather was agreeable to everyone in town had to the mall. Didn't buy anything, per se -- I was looking into purchasing a Palm Pilot (Sony Clie, to be exact) Didn't get it -- think it'll go down in price in the very near future -- they've already dropped the price of the one I'm thinking about purchasing by C$50 since February. Wait the summer, and it'll be a near steal!

Saturday night, I went to the Pharmacist Ass'n dinner / dance. It was in Amherstburg - ever been to Pointe West Golf Course? It was one of the most difficult places to find. Even though it's off Essex Rd 10, the entrance sign was so obscure. What a pain. Nonetheless, it was a worthwhile night -- got to meet more pharmacists (more of the same people who do everything) but it was good to network with potential employers. One of the people I met will help Dorothy and I look into the Michigan license. Something definitely I will look forward to obtaining in the next 6 months. It's all about the Benjamins ... at least that's what a wise rapper once said (P Diddy?)

Sunday was another afternoon out eatin' with family friends. That night, I went over to D's house for supper. It was her sister's b'day. Rack of lamb was served. Quite nice, I must say -- not a real fan of lamb (kinda gamey) but I enjoyed it. Need to expand one's horizons, no? It surprised me at how agreeable I would be to lamb (bad experiences in the past) -- it's an acquired taste. Guess it's growing on me...

Over the course of the week at work, it's been a struggle but I promised myself (and my boss) that I will work hard to keep positive and build upon the workplace harmony. The approach of not taking things so personally is going to be the way it will go, for the time being. I guess it was good to talk to my friend up in T.O. who's having a bit of difficulty in her life -- it gave me a perspective on how even the elite teaching hospitals in Toronto have their shortcomings (ie unproductive coworkers). It also provided me an opportunity to be a better friend -- haven't been there to help her out. Guess this kind of friendship building is something that I have been lacking for a while.

I also had the chance to complete my taxes. It's quite satisfying to see that I am actually obtaining a refund for the first time in a few years. All my hard work -- some of it is finally coming back to me. It's almost disgusting to see how much tax I actually pay (and I didn't even work that much last year!) What scares me even more is that a great chunk of change will be paid out in taxes THIS calendar year (2002). I've been putting in a LOT MORE relief pharmacist hours. As Homer Simpson said (in the Hallowe'en special), "This is gonna to cost me!"

What am I looking forward to this upcomihg w/e? Mike is going over to Detroit to pick up his parents -- they were over in Seattle visiting. I was told that I had to go out for supper but now that things have changed (my parents were invited, not the kids!) I guess I'll go with Mike instead. Dorothy is working that day so I'll leave her behind and meet up with her after work. Sunday will be R&R.

Saturday, April 13.

Finally have some NEW CONTENT on this webpage. Hope you enjoy.

Weather is AWFUL today. More rain. I feel bad that I haven't been able to take my dog, Rex, out in a couple of days. Everyone has had that feeling of cabin fever -- they die to get out to do SOMETHING. But my dog is a trooper -- as long as he gets his treats now and then, he's fine...

Sunday, April 14.

I'm just adding away at the new content -- I guess I have this webpage addiction in phases. Guess I'm in one of those phases now. (good for people checking out this webpage, I suppose.)

I'm happy that all the work that I put into my car yesterday (vacuum, wash mats, wash car, ZAINO, remove some scratches, treat tires) makes such a dramatic effect. WOW! Also went over to the 'States with Mike to pick up his parents from the airport -- got some Big Game tickets in the process. How can I resist a US$300 million jackpot?

Weather started off not so good today -- overcast. The sun has finally made an appearance (close of sunset) but it's nice to see sunlight. What did I do today? Got up late (came home around 1 AM last night) and went out for dim sum with the folks. In the afternoon, I went to the mall with Dorothy to do some shoppin'. She has a family wedding to attend Victoria weekend so I helped her out. We also did some more research into out holidays in September. Should be fun. Don't know what we are doing yet -- been workin' on this webpage ever since supper time. Guess this is my cue to get going...

Finally... a day off!

Wednesday, April 17.

Well, it was a long time coming -- an actual DAY OFF from work. I've been putting in some serious hours in the hospital and in retail. Guess I'm trying to keep myself occupied while I'm trying to figure out what to do with my career opportunities. Been talking to Dorothy about matters and it seems like one of us has to reduce our hours at the hospital to solidify our commitment in retail. Looks like I should step up and bow down on hospital hours.

Also got some more info about the planned vacation -- it appears an ad we saw in the paper was a bit misleading. The 'special fare' was only valid until August. The price would increase C$700 each once September rolls in (high season because the seasons are opposite in the southern hemisphere). Looks like our plan to visit Tahiti will be postponed. I think the simplified Singapore / Australia visit will have to do for now (unless there is a huge sale sale going to go on during the summer months. Either way, I'm very excited into leaving Canada for a while...

Monday, April 22.

Worked this weekend at the hospital -- you know what? It wasn't so bad. Lots of things to do but luckily, I had enough time to get it done. It's always nice to have a good supporting cast. No real problems came up and best of all, I wasn't on-call. The toughest thing all w/e was to figure out how one of the MDs wanted their intrathecal baclofen.

What else ... got a chance to e-mail a couple of my friends. Going up to T.O. this upcoming weekend for a pharmacy conference. Hopefully, our schedules will coincide such that we can meet up. I'll be able to show off my next car modification: tints! I'm aiming for 35% tints on the side and 20% in the rear. My only concern is whether or not that's legal -- I have a friend who has 20% all around but maybe that's a little too dark. He got through a police barricade without any problems. Maybe he got lucky... In any instance, I've heard of people having difficulty looking out back at night so that they have to open their side windows to see what's behind them! I don't want to do that... we'll see what the fellas at the tint shop have to say about it. Definitely I'll have photos with the tints up on the webpage soon enough! Going to get them tinted tomorrow...