The One With Surprises Written by, Naomi Vaughn [Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]

RACHEL: I need a date.
MONICA: Yeah...but how do we find someone?
PHOEBE: [flipping through a magazine.] OH!! We could put in personal ads!!!
MONICA: But that soo shouts "I'm single".
PHOEBE: Um, Mon, I thought that was the whole point.
RACHEL: Pheebs is right. C'mon, Mon, let's do it! What's the worst that could happen? We could all three do one! Pheebs?
PHOEBE: But that is just so...[Monica and Rachel look at her.] let's do it!!
MONICA: Okay! I'll do it.
[Gunther overhears all of this and gets a big grin on his face.]

OPENING CREDITS
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Everyone but Chandler and Joey are there.]

ROSS: You're doing WHAT?!?!
RACHEL: We're putting in personal ads. Do you have a problem with that?
MONICA: C'mon Ross...give me a break.
ROSS: But do you know what kind of people could respond?! The sicko's...the maniacs...I won't let you!
MONICA: Uh, excuse me?! You won't let me?!
ROSS: Yeah! I won't let you put in an ad!
MONICA: And just how are you gonna stop me? [Ross picks up the phone.] You wouldn't!! [He dials.]
ROSS(on phone): Hi Mom! Guess what?! [Monica starts to wrestle Ross for the phone.] What's that mom? What's Monica up to...? Well, funny you should mention that! [Monica finally gets the phone out of his hands and throws it to Phoebe.]
MONICA: Catch! [Phoebe catches the phone and Ross comes running towards her. Monica and Rachel grab his arms to slow him down and Phoebe runs into the bathroom and locks the door.]
ROSS: Open the door!! [Chandler and Joey enter.] Cmon Pheebs, open the door!!
CHANDLER: Uh, Ross...some people dont like that.
JOEY: Whats going on?
MONICA: Ross is a tattletale!!! [Chandler and Joey gasp.]
ROSS: Am not!!
MONICA: Are too!!
ROSS: AM NOT!!!!
MONICA: ARE TOO!!!
ROSS: AM NOT, AM NOT, AM NOT!!!!
MONICA: ARE TOO INFINITY!!!!
ROSS: AM NOT DOUBLE INFINITY!!!
MONICA: You cant do that!!
ROSS: Can too!!
MONICA: Can not!!
ROSS: CAN TOO!!
MONICA: CAN NOT!!! [Monica hits Ross.]
ROSS: Ouch! [Hits her back]
MONICA: Wimp! [Hits him again.]
ROSS: Shut up! [Hits her again.]
MONICA: STOP THAT!! [Hits him again.]
ROSS: Make me!! [They break out into a full fledged slap fest.]

(...an hour later...)

[Chandler, Joey, and Rachel have left. Ross and Monica are still fighting.]

MONICA: Ross, KNOCK IT OFF!!!
ROSS: But...but...
MONICA: No! Its MY decision! And, and, if a sicko or a maniac does answer...well that will be MY problem! Okay?!
ROSS: Fine... [Phoebe comes out of the bathroom...finally.]
MONICA: Youve been in there this whole time??
PHOEBE: Yeah, well, me and your mom got to talking...
MONICA: You didnt tell her did you?
PHOEBE: Tell her what?
MONICA: About the ad..
PHOEBE: Oh...well...
MONICA: You didnt!
PHOEBE: No, I did...but its okay!!
MONICA and ROSS: What?!
PHOEBE: No, she thought it was an excellent idea...[Doing an impression of Monicas mom] its about time you get yourself a date. Ya know, youre not getting any younger... [Proud of herself.]
ROSS: Oh, oh, you sound just like my mom!! Oh, ewww!!!
MONICA: Pheebs, I hate to say this...but if you EVER do that again Im going to hurt you.

[Scene: Chandler and Joeys. Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there.]

CHANDLER(looking through the singles ads): What if we answer one of these ads...? I mean, the people are desperate enough...I just might get a date out of it!
JOEY: Lets do it!! [Looks at the paper with Chandler.] Oh, wow! Look at this one... SWF, loves writing her own folk music, experienced masseuse, loves moonlight walks in central park. Attractive and fun. Looking for same for a good time and possible LTR.
CHANDLER: Massages, music, moonlight...very nice.
JOEY: Should I do it?
CHANDLER and ROSS: Yeah, go for it!
CHANDLER: I mean whats the worse that could happen?
JOEY: She could reject me.
CHANDLER: Okay, besides that.
JOEY: She could laugh in my face when we meet.
CHANDLER: Would you not focus on the negative?! She is going to love you, okay?
JOEY: Yeah, yeah, okay! Im gonna do it. [picks up the phone, then looks at Ross and Chandler.] Some privacy?
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, sure. Okay, well, good luck.
ROSS: Yeah, good luck. [They leave.]
[in the hallway between the apartments.]
ROSS: So you really think he has a chance?
CHANDLER: Who? Joey? Theres a bigger chance of a beautiful blonde walking up to me right now and talking to me. [a beautiful blonde comes up to Chandler.]
BLONDE: Um, is this the Johnson apartment?
CHANDLER: No, thats one floor down. BLONDE: Okay, thanks. [she leaves. Ross looks at Chandler.]
CHANDLER: What?

[Scene: Monica and Rachels. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]

MONICA: Rachel, what did yours say?
RACHEL: Im not telling!
MONICA: Why not!?
RACHEL: Its personal! PHOEBE(looking at the personals section of the paper): Shes right you know. They ARE called The Personals. [Monica and Rachel look at Phoebe and she looks up.] What?
MONICA: Okay, Pheebs, what did you put?
PHOEBE: Here, look. [Hands Monica paper and points to an ad.] This one.
MONICA: SWF, loves writing her own folk music,experienced masseuse, loves moonlight walks in central park. Attractive and fun. Looking for same for a good time and possible LTR.
RACHEL: Wow, Phoebe! That's great!
PHOEBE: Okay, Monica. [takes back paper.] Which ones yours?
MONICA: Here. [points to an ad.]
PHOEBE: SWF, Loves to cook and caters often, will date almost any age except anyone under 24. Attractive, loves kids, and is very neat. Looking for same for romantic dinners and possible LTR.
 RACHEL: Thats great, Mon!
MONICA(to Rachel): I want to see yours!
RACHEL: I told you! Its personal!
MONICA: Me and Phoebe showed you ours, its only fair.
RACHEL: Okay, fine...but Im reading it. [takes paper.] SWF, looking for her knight in shining armor. Attractive and intelligent. Looking for someone for friendship, fun, and possibly more. Museum-Paleontologists and Ross need not apply.
 MONICA: Whats so bad about that? RACHEL: Oh, nothing I guess. Its just that the whole thought of personals is still so...[Monica and Phoebe look at her.]exciting!
[Ross and Chandler enter.]
CHANDLER: Any marriage proposals yet?
PHOEBE: Oh, I gotta go! Im supposed to meet my mom for lunch. Bye! [Phoebe leaves.]
ROSS: Guess what?! Joey is answering an ad. What was it again?
CHANDLER: Oh, she writes her own music, professional masseuse, likes moonlit walks through central park.
RACHEL: Oh my god! Look at this. [Hands Chandler the paper and points to an ad.] Is this the ad?
CHANDLER: Yeah! Why? [Monica and Rachel look at each other.]
MONICA: Thats Phoebes ad..
ROSS: Really?
RACHEL: Yes! [Ross and Chandler start laughing.] Its not funny!
CHANDLER: Oh, I believe it is! [Rachel hits him with the paper.] Cmon you dont actually think this is going to go anywhere do you? I mean, they have to recognize each others voices, and that will be the end of it.
MONICA: I guess your right.
CHANDLER: Of course I am. When have I ever been wrong? [Ross, Monica, and Rachel go to answer.] Dont answer that!

[Scene: Central Perk. Everyones there.]

ROSS(looking at the personals): Look at this one...looking for her knight in shining armor...[Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe realizes thats Rachels ad..]...attractive and intelligent. What do you think guys? [Reads the last of the ad.] Oh...huh? [looks at Rachel.] Rachel?
RACHEL: Yeah...
ROSS: Oh.
RACHEL: Sorry.
ROSS: Yeah.
PHOEBE: So, I got an answer to my ad already! [Monica and Rachel exchange a look.]
MONICA: Really? Thats great!
CHANDLER(trying not to laugh): So...whats he like?
PHOEBE: Oh, he sounds really great. We talked for like an hour.
JOEY: Wow, and I just answered an ad today! We talked for a long time too! [Ross and Chandler start laughing.] Whats so funny??
ROSS: Um, nothing, Chandler just told me a...joke earlier, and I just remembered it.
MONICA: Whats the joke?
CHANDLER: The joke?
RACHEL: Yeah, whats the joke that you two are laughing to hard over? [Chandler and Ross look at eachother.]
CHANDLER: Ross, you really do tell it better...
ROSS: Um...okay! Two guys walk into a bar...what do they say?
MONICA: I dont know, what?
ROSS: Ouch! [Nobody laughs.] Get it? A bar...they walked into it...
RACHEL: We get it Ross. What I dont get is why you two about wet yourselves over it. CHANDLER: Well, uh, its really a you had to be there type thing.
MONICA: Yeah. Cmon Rach, lets go see if weve gotten any answers to our ads yet.
PHOEBE: Can I come??
RACHEL: Sure, Pheebs.
PHOEBE: Goodie! [They leave.]

[Scene: Rachel and Monicas. Rachel, Moncia, and Phoebe are there.]

RACHEL(on the phone): Oh, I got a reply! Wait, he sounds familiar...Monica! Listen to this! [Monica takes the phone.]
MONICA: Oh my god! Is that Gunther!? It is!!
PHOEBE: Wow! I always thought he had a crush on you!
RACHEL: You did??
MONICA: Oh yeah, itssooo obvious!
RACHEL: Oh, I never noticed.
PHOEBE: So are you going to go out with him? He seems sweet.
RACHEL: I cant go out with Gunther!!
PHOEBE: Why not!?
RACHEL: Cuz hes...Gunther!
MONICA: Cmon Rachel, you put in an ad to meet someone and get a date, am I wrong?
RACHEL: No...
MONICA: Well, someone answered! Isnt that what you wanted?
RACHEL: Yeah...
MONICA: Then go on a date with him! Whats the worst that could happen? Hes harmless, really.
RACHEL: Okay, I guess youre right.
MONICA: Good!
RACHEL: Phoebe, are you going to meet the guy that answered yours? PHOEBE: Yeah! Tomorrow night at Central Perk, he said he goes there all the time with his friends. [Monica and Rachel look at eachother.]
MONICA: What if its someone youve seen before, or even know?
PHOEBE: Oh wouldnt that be cool!
RACHEL: No, Pheebs, what I think shes trying to say is-[Chandler and Joey enter.] Hey Guys!
CHANDLER: Did you guys get a date yet?
PHOEBE: Shes going out with Gunther!!!
CHANDLER and JOEY: Gunther?! [They both start laughing]
PHOEBE: Yeah, isnt that great!
CHANDLER: Well, considering the fact that hes in love with you-
RACHEL: He is NOT in love with me!!
CHANDLER: Oh, yes he is!! Ask anyone!
RACHEL: Okay, I will! Joey?
JOEY: Well...
RACHEL: NO! Well, I am going to put an end to this! [dialing phone] How could I possibly go out with him if he loves me?
MONICA: What are you doing?
RACHEL: Im calling to listen to Gunthers reply again so I can get his number. Okay! [Writes down the number.] Now, Ill just call him and tell him that I cant...I cant because, because he does.
MONICA: Cmon Rach, just one date? Just dont lead him on, and hell leave it happier than he was.
PHOEBE: And, what if you like him!
RACHEL: But I dont Phoebe. Okay, fine, one date...but thats it!
PHOEBE: You never know...
CHANDLER: Oh this is sooo going to blow up in your face.

[Scene: Central Perk. Joeys waiting for his date. Ross and Chandler enter.]

ROSS: Hey Joey!
CHANDLER: Whats up?
JOEY: Hey guys, Im meeting someone...so if you dont mind..
ROSS: The one from the ad?
JOEY: Yeah.
CHANDLER: Well, good luck.
JOEY: Thanks...[looks at the clock.]oh! She should be here any minute..
ROSS: Okay, well get out of here. Good luck with your date.
JOEY: Yeah, thanks.
[Chandler and Ross leave.]

[Scene: Monica and Rachels. Everyone but Phoebe and Joey are there.]

MONICA: So Joeys actually going to meet Phoebe??
RACHEL: How did that happen? I thought you said they would recognize eachothers voices and that would be the end of it!
CHANDLER: Well, knowing Joey he probably faked his voice to impress her, and Joey would never put two and two together to figure out it was Phoebe on the line.
RACHEL: I gotta see this!
ROSS: And how do you plan on doing that? Theyre going to see you.
RACHEL: Well, Phoebe and Joey are a little out-there..ill bet they never even notice!

[Scene: Central Perk. Joeys waiting for his date, when Phoebe enters.]

JOEY: Hey Pheebs!
PHOEBE: Hi! Are you meeting someone?
JOEY: Yeah, Im supposed to meet the girl from the ad any time now.
PHOEBE: Really? Cool! Im meeting someone who answered my ad!
JOEY: Really? [looks at the Phoebe, than at the door, than back at Phoebe.]Likes moonlit walks...professional masseuse..?
PHOEBE: Yeah, how did you know?
JOEY: Oh my god...youre my date!
PHOEBE: Oh, oh..OH! That was you on the phone?
JOEY: Yeah...
PHOEBE: What do we do now?
[camera scrolls over to see the rest of the friends at a table peeking over papers and magazines.]
JOEY: I cant believe that was you on the phone..for the first time I really felt a connection...[looks at Phoebe.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, me too... [Joey gets up and walks over to Phoebe...and kisses her. After the kiss they look at eachother, and kiss again. The camera scrolls over to see the visibly shocked group of spies.]

TO BE CONTINUED...

CLOSING CREDITS
END