No sooner than he fell asleep than when he suddenly felt something soft and grainy hitting his face. He sat up and wiped whatever it was off his face and opened his eyes.
Chandler waved at him. "Hello there sleepy dude."
"Hi." He blinked. "Why were you kicking sand at me?" Ross asked as he suddenly noticed they were sitting on a beach. A beach very much like the one where he broke up with Bonnie and reconciled and stayed together with Rachel for a short time.
"Well you were gonna get burned." Chandler said. Ross looked at Chandler. He was wearing a dippy beach outfit like the one those people were wearing in the movie he was watching when he dozed off.
"Ok."
He looked around. Monica and Rachel were at a beach blanket a few yards away. Phoebe and Joey were nowhere in sight.
"What are we doing here?" Ross decided to ask.
"What we always do." Chandler answered fixing his gilligan like hat.
"That answers a lot." Ross said.
"Glad to help." Chandler stood and picked up a device.
"What are you doing?"
"What I've always been doing." Chandler says. "Tying to pick up your sister and get you back with Rachel at the same time."
"Oh." Ross sat back. "Oh!" He jumped up and followed Chandler.
"This is a metal detector, and a good plan all in one." He chuckled.
"This is a bad idea, whatever it is." Ross said as they approached Rachel and Monicas blanket.
"Hi Ross, Chandler." Monica waved. Rachel practically snorted her slushy.
"I knew it Ross." Chandler said trying to sound smart. "I set this baby for Babe and I found one."
"You sure you didn't put dope on there by mistake?" Rachel said, looking at Ross.
"We were on a break!!!" Ross said the now famous line.
"Oh really." Rachel hopped up and dragged him away from the blanket. "That didn't stop you from kissing Chloe over there." Rachel pointed to a brown-haired lady who had their back turned to them.
"She looked like you! I have an excuse!" Ross said as Chloe turned and they see what looked like, buck teeth, 2 inch glasses and a noticeable weight problem.
"Oh sure she looks like me, from the BACK maybe." Rachel said walking away from him.
"What do I have to do to get you back?"
"You have to be loyal! You have you to prove you would do anything for me." Rachel said picking up a flyer. "Like Flash Silverstein."
Who? Ross thought. "Who?" He said.
"Flash proved to his woman he was all hers. You have to do that for me." She said giving him the flyer. "If you will excuse me, Mon and I have to practice for the twist contest tonight."
Ross ignored the photo and read the bottom half of the flyer.
"Flash Silverstein, cowabunga king?" Ross said out loud."If this isn't a Frankie and Annette movie I don't know what is." Ross dashed over to Chandler and pulled him away from Monica.
"What is cowabunga king?"
"Its something they have every year around here." Chandler said. "Why do you ask?"
"I think I'm gonna try and win Rachel over by winning cowabunga king."
Chandler chortled trying to keep from laughing. "But you don't know how to surf."
"I know."
"And if you did you would never have a chance to win against Flash. He was last years champ."
"And how do I do that?" Ross said, never taking his eyes off Rachel who was boogying with Monica.
"You talk to the all time cowabunga king. Joey!!"
"Joey at last." Ross thought. "Where do I find him?"
"At the Surf n turf." Chandler said pointing in the direction of a real nice club. "I'll come with ya, he doesn't talk to just anyone."

Ross and Chandler walked into the Surf and Turf. There was loud music and talking and lots of dancing going on. Oddly it looked like someone put Central Perk on the beach, Ross observed. But he decided not to mention it.
"This is a really swinging joint!" Ross say loudly as "Palisades Park" played on a jukebox.
"I know, this is my favorite place. Phoebe really did a good job at restoring the old surf shop!" Chandler commented.
"Phoebe did this?" Ross asked.
"Yeah, don't you remember? When Phoebe got all that dough from her one hit wonder Groove Tube she decided to open her own place to sing and all that."
"Oh." Ross, even more confused than he first woke up on the beach. "Where's Joey?"
"Let me ask." Chandler went up to the bar. Ross slowly followed. The woman at the bar turned around. It was Phoebe. "Hey Phoebe, where's Joey?"
"Oh, I haven't seen him since he went into the back." Phoebe said serving Ross and Chandler orange umbrella drinks.
"What are these?" Ross said looking at the glass as Phoebe moved to serve other people.
"Its whatever you want, its your dream." Chandler said.
"Wha huh?" Ross said.
"Its the name of the drink. Its your dream." Chandler said taking a hearty chug of the drink. "Lets go. Joey knows your here to see him even before you show up. He doesn't like to be kept waiting."
"Why isn't he competing for cowabunga king this year if he's such a beachside legend?"
"Well, he dated two of the judges last year. They politely asked him not to enter so he said that he was retiring his board. He's torn up about it, but he doesn't let it show."
"Brave man." Ross said rolling his eyes.
"Here we are." Chandler said and pointed out a couple of palm trees. There was a very crafty chair set in the middle of them. Joey sat with a little sunscreen on his nose, and one of those drinks by his side. "He isn't supposed to have so many Its your dreams while he's in here but no one dares tell him no. Only Phoebe does that. He's in love!"
"Sounds like a jerk to me." Ross said.
"His reputation precedes him, in fact sometimes it even gets mixed up sometimes, and sometimes things are confused." Chandler said. "But enough of this serious downer stuff."
"Okay." Ross said looking around.
"Hey Joey!" Chandler said sitting next to the chair. "I have someone you ought to meet."
"You mean you finally got the pope to come here?" Joey asked chuckling.
Chandler pulled Ross aside. "I once borrowed 100$ from Joey. I told him that the next person who would need his help would be the pope."
"All right." Ross said sipping his drink.
"Joey, this is Ross." He leaned in. "He's Monica's brother."
Joey practically jumped out of his chair. "Look, man, I only dated her one time! We agreed not to see each other again so don't bust my chops!"
"Joey, calm down." Chandler said.
Ross was getting impatient. "Look, Joey, I need you to teach me how to surf before the Cowabunga contest next Saturday."
Joey sipped his drink and nearly spat it out. Then he started chuckling softly., It eventually grew louder till everyone was looking at the trio.
Ross shrank back and sat down in a chair. Chandler sat next to him.
"Maybe we'll ask him again once he stops laughing." Chandler said hopefully. "Or at least till he stops drinking stuff." He brushed some orange stuff off him and sighed.

Ross walked out of the Surf and Turf a little disappointed. Chandler ran out after him.
"What am I gonna do now?" Ross said sitting on a bench. "Joey won't take me seriously enough to teach me how to surf. Plus he pretty much got zonked on those orange drinks, so that didn't help."
"I don't know what to tell you bud. I mean so far there's no big loss. You haven't even told Rachel you were gonna try and win it." Chandler said.
"Try and win what?" They heard. Ross and Chandler stood and saw Rachel in a mini sundress. She now wore it over her bathing suit. It blew slightly in the wind. Ross tried his best to keep from staring at her.
"I'm entering the Cowabunga King Contest this weekend." Ross boldly declared.
"Hee hee." Rachel giggled. She covered her mouth. "Seriously, what are you gonna win." She thought for a minute. "Oh I know what you're gonna win. Your gonna win Mr. Pathetic this year."
"I'm serious Rachel. I'm gonna beat your precious Flash and surprise everyone."
"Ok, sure thing." Rachel said. "Chandler once Ross completely embarrasses himself at this, do me a favor and at least help him get his dignity back." Rachel strolled away as Ross sat there fuming.
"You want to win over that?" Chandler asked.
"Yes. When she isn't being a stubborn and snobby uuhhhhh!" Ross growled.
"When she isn't this way she can be the sweetest and most beautiful person in the world."
"Well, then you're crazier than I thought, dude." Chandler said and smiled. "I have a secret, something I never told you."
"You mean there's stuff you don't say?" Ross said."This is indeed a weird day."
"I know a little bit around the surfboard myself." Chandler smiled. Ross laughed. Chandlers smiled took a downturn.
"Ok, man, seriously though. how are you gonna help me." Ross said.
"I really know a little bit about surfing, dude. Not enough to win cowabunga king but enough to make you look good." Chandler said.
"Really?" Ross said. "Who taught you?"
"Who taught me?" Chandler started laughing. "Who taught me?" Then he paused. "I don't really know. Actually I just picked it up as I watch the surfers out there. I never thought it would be useful. Do you want me to tell you what I know?"
"Ok. Better than nothing at all." Ross said as he stood up, the sun slowly started to set in the distance.
"So we meet tomorrow morning?" Chandler said started toward his beach to pick up his stuff.
"Sure, Professor Bing, we can do that."
"Great." Chandler said. "Bye!"
"Bye!" Ross waved to him. "Do I really have a chance?" Ross asked himself. There was no answer.

The next day

Chandler sat on the same bench he was yesterday and he waited for Ross to show up. It was around six. He poked around the area and paused in front of the surf and turf. Good thing he did, he almost ran into Phoebe with an armload of junk.
"Hi, Chandler." Phoebe said peeking over her armload.
"Hi." Chandler examined the stuff she had, assorted boxes of new glasses and a few more decorations for the joint. "You happen to have a kitchen sink in there?"
"Hee hee." Phoebe said. "Could you get that door for me? Its already unlocked."
"Sure." Chandler said and opened the door. Phoebe toddled in and almost fell over the first step while Chandler balanced her.
"Whoa, there missy." Chandler said steadying her. They were almost nose to nose.
"Uh, thanks." Phoebe said backing away nervously. She set her load on the bar top. "Who are you looking for?"
"Ross, I'm gonna teach him how to surf."
"AH. funny." Phoebe said. "But seriously, I haven't seen you here this early since we stopped selling fruit cocktails."
"I'm really gonna teach Ross how to surf." Chandler said looking toward the door. He spotted Ross near his surfboard. "There's my man."
"This would make a cool song." Phoebe said and picked up her guitar. "Oh Ross is gonna surf, surf, surf." She strummed a little bit. Chandler sat there expectantly. "Thats all I have." She confessed.
Chandler smiled and went out to meet Ross.

Ross looked at the surfboard and turned it over. It was a tacky color of red and had palm trees all over it. He saw Chandler approach.
"This is a surfboard?" He asked.
"Nah, I thought we would try surfing on a kayak for a nice change of pace." Chandler said clapping his hands together. "But you have to admit it goes with the shirt."
"Uh huh." Ross said. "Seems like you found both of them at Good Will."
"Well, the waves are good for about an hour. Come, my student, I'll teach you everything I know." Chandler said patting Ross on the back.
"Cool, but what do we do for the other 45 minutes?" Ross said.
"Hey, hey, hey," Chandler said. "Can I make the jokes around here?"

A few minutes later.

Ross ran back to the beach towel Chandler had set up for him and collapsed. He wiped some water off his face while gasping for breath.
"Somehow I thought surfing involved with staying on the board more than ten seconds." Chandler remarked.
"I had a feeling you'd say that." Ross rolled over. "Oh its hopeless. I'm never gonna win this thing and I'm never gonna get Rachel back. I might as well go out there and wait for a shark to come around."
"Uh, Ross?"
"What?"
"There's no shark in these waters."
"Great, I'm hopeless AND stupid." Ross rolled over and looked at a sand crab. He flicked a pebble at it.
"Ross you are NOT hopeless." Ross sat up straight. He looked at the crab.
"Did this thing just speak to me?" He asked aloud.
"No I did." The voice said.
Ross turned to find Joey standing next to Chandler.
"What are you doing here?" Ross asked.
"Well a few hours after you left, Chandler called and appealed to my good side. He also got me a few of these to straighten me out." He pointed at his soda. "Man I was wasted last night."
"When did you figure that out?" Ross asked. "Before or after you did the hula on the bar in your boxers?"
"I did that?" Joey mused. "Cool!"
"So, what are you doing here?" Ross asked while Joey downed the rest of his drink.
"Well, Chandy here said he was gonna teach you how to surf. I figured right around now would be a good time to show up and take over." Joey said.
"Plus we're up a river without a surfboard so to speak." Chandler said. "It broke in half on our last attempt."
"Jeez," Joey said. "I knew I had good timing." He smiled. I got two in the back of my car. One for me and one for Ross."
"Chandler do you mind waiting on the shore and just like, uh watch us?" Ross asked.
"Sure, watching is what I do best. Currently its the only thing I do." "Why don't we take a break and come back after we had something to drink?" Joey asked. "I concentrate better after breakfast."
Joey strode off leaving Ross and Chandler.
"Why do I have a feeling I'm digging an even bigger hole for myself here?" Ross muttered and Chandler patted him on the back.
"Cause your stranding in one?"
Ross looked down and got out of the small mud hole he had sunken into. He quickly brushed off his feet and joined the guys at the surf and turf.

Later that day

Joey had already gone home for the day after showing Ross a couple of things on the surfboard. Ross still had yet to go out to attempt to surf on his own again. But Chandler advised against it. Especially since the Twist contest was only hours away. Ross wanted to watch Rachel in the contest but Chandler tried to talk him out of it.
"Don't torture yourself man." He had said. "If she wants you back she'll come to you."
"But what if she never wants me back?" Ross asked leaning against the bar. The whole surf and turf had been cleared of its tables so the dance contest can be held in there. It looked liked it was gonna rain.
"Then I can't help you man." Chandler said. He then stood up. "Rachel and Monica are here."
Ross turned in the direction Chandler was facing. Rachel was wearing her hair up in a very loose twist, and she had on a mini skirt on and a sort of halter top. He stared at her for a very long time.
"Ross." Chandler said grabbing his attention. "Flash is her dance partner this year."
Ross sighed. Last year when they were in second place they danced together in this contest. Even when they didn't date each other they had entered together. Rachel even one vowed that she would never dance with anyone else. "I guess that promise means nada now." Ross mused in his head.
Rachel tossed back a strand of her hair and caught Ross looking her way. She walked on over.
"Well well, look Monica. Its cabana boy and surf boy." Rachel said.
"Hey, thats Mr. Cabana boy to you." Chandler said.
"I see you're not entering the twist contest. Its a shame. Oh, I forgot, you have to have a girlfriend before you even enter the contest."
"That stung." Ross thought. "Break a leg." He said instead.
"Jealous much?"
"Jealous much?" Ross mocked her.
Monica poked Rachel in the shoulder. "Rachel, Flash hasn't come in yet."
"What do you mean?" Rachel asked in disbelief.
"I mean if Flash doesn't come in five minutes you have to either pick an another partner or drop out entirely."
"I knew that Monica!" Rachel said. "What do I do."
"I know what you can do." Monica said. She grabbed Rachels hand and put it in Ross's.
"What are you doing?" Rachel asked stunned.
"You two are gonna have a truce and dance with each other at the contest. After you win you can hate each other all you want. You can even go to different coasts for all I care, but do this for me and my sanity?"
Ross grumbled and Rachel rolled her eyes. "All right, for Monica."
"Mon I'm in no shape to dance." Ross whined.
"Tough." Monica smiled as she sat next to the bar with Chandler.
"What are you doing?" Chandler said passing her an soda.
"Same thing you are. Getting my brother and Rachel back together."
"How can you tell that was what I was doing?" Chandler asked.
"Oh please, you couldn't be anymore obvious." Monica grinned. "It's very sweet of you to try though."
"Thanks." Chandler said as Monica moved to the front where the crowd is. "I think."

Ross and Rachel took there place on the dance floor with about five other couples.
"Well this ought to be fun." Ross said.
"I don't want to do this." Rachel said as the music started up.
"Why not?" Ross said as "Heat Wave" started to play. They started to twist. "We could be doing this as a couple."
"Yeah but you had to accidentally kiss werewolf face." Rachel shot, once again pointing out Chloe in the crowd.
"She only had a little hair on her face."
"A little? She's the only one on this beach who has to wax her entire face."
"Admit. You don't like Flash." Ross pulled Rachel close to him. "The only reason he has that crown is so he can keep his brain from falling out."
"So he's not that bright, big deal." Rachel said not budging. "I never said I stopped liking you completely." Rachel admitted.
The jukebox was turned off just as the song ended. Phoebe got up to the microphone.
"Well, well. We had a lot of fun didn't we?" Phoebe said smiling. "Everyone give themselves a big hand." Ross and Rachel applauded not even taking their eyes off each other.
"Well, it will be just a minute while the judges add up the scores." Phoebe said.
Chandler came up next to Ross. "Uh there is something you should know Ross..."
"Not now Chandler, Phoebe is gonna announce the winner." Ross said spotting Phoebe getting up to the microphone.
"Okay." She said after cringing when she was greeted by some loud microphone feedback. "The winner is... Couple number three Rachel and Ross!"
Ross gasped and Rachel did an awesome spit-take with the "It's your dream" Monica had just given her.
"Wow. These guys were in second place last year." Phoebe said walking cross the floor. She gave Ross and Rachel their little trophies. "Good work you two. You know, I want to see them slow-dance. How does everyone like that idea?" Phoebe asked the people behind them. They agreed.
"Oh do we have to?" Rachel groaned.
"Sure, you do. Otherwise well, its just less fun thats all." Phoebe said putting on a record. "Stand by me" began to play.
Ross offered his hand to Rachel. "Come on, whats one dance gonna do?"
"Yeah. Okay." Rachel took his hand and started to sway.
"This is nice." Ross said.
Then suddenly the needle skid off the record.
"Hey! Who did that?" Phoebe demanded. "That was the last copy of Stand by me in town!"
"I did." A voice said.
Ross and Rachel turned to see who was talking.
It was Flash. Apparently he did intend on coming to the dance contest.
"Well, well. Rachel." He looked around. "Whats going on?"
Rachel slapped Flash. "You picked a fine time to show up bozo. I had to dance with Ross. And guess what. We won it too."
"Ah come on, you dont expect you to believe you danced with that guy." Flash laughed.
Rachel couldn't help feeling a little angry at Flash. "Well he was here and you weren't."
"Oh, so you're back with him." Flash nodded. "I knew this was gonna happen."
"Flash will you just leave her alone?" Ross said.
"Says who?" Flash said.
Ross looked around. He gulped. "Says me. I guess."
"Well, now. Theres only one way to settle this."
"Settle what?" Ross said. "You were late and she had to pick another partner."
"Oh, you know what I meam." Flash said.
"I don't think you even know yourself." Ross said.
"Tomorrow at the surf contest. Whoever wins gets Rachel." Flash declared.
"What?" Rachel said outraged.
"Don't be mad, baby. We'll be together sooner than you can say hang ten."
"Im not even sure I want to be with you if you win." Rachel said. "I'm leaving." She started walking away. Flash followed like some brain dead puppy. "Alone." She said. Flash stopped. "Mon are you coming?" Rachel called. Monica quickly caught up with Rachel. Flash glared at Ross then went to the bar and ordered an "It's your dream."
Chandler sat down in a table in a far corner with Ross and his dance trophy.
"What are we gonna do now man?" Chandler asked.
"I don't know, Chan man, I just don't know." Ross answered.

The next day

Ross sat on his usual bench in front of the surf and turf. He was thinking about last night, the dance and the challenge from Flash. Win the contest and win Rachel.
"If this is a dream, how come I haven't woken up yet." He wondered to himself. He sat back and watched the sun rise into the sky, spreading golden yellow and amber red across the sky.
"Just a few more hours." He thought.

A few hours later

Joey arrived with his surfboard. Chandler and Ross had been waiting for him to show up at the surf and turf. They were being treated by Phoebe, she was singing some new stuff for them. Her own little captive audience.
She sat with her legs crossed on the bar. Chandler sipped a soda while she strummed.
She stopped. "I just need a title for this. How bout Surfing Safari?"
"I think thats been done." Chandler noted. He looked at Ross.
Apparently Phoebes new song was the last thing on his mind.
"Whats wrong Ross?" Phoebe said putting her guitar and hopped off the bar.
"Do you guys honestly think I have a chance of winning this thing?" Ross asked when Joey came in the door.
"So you did find out about the bets that some people gave Phoebe." Joey said. They all looked at Joey. "Okay okay. My bets."
"I can't believe you bet against me, even after you taught me all that stuff."
"But you gotta admit Ross..." Joey started.
"I know, I know I only have a snowballs chance."
"Well less than a snowballs chance when I last looked..." Ross glared and Phoebe. "But like that doesn't even matter." She put her hand on his shoulder. "What matters is that you are trying!"
"Anyone else here feel like they fell in a Father Knows Best episode?" Chandler said raising his hand. No one else raised theirs. "Well, I guess its just me."
"Come on." Joey said. "We got to set up and get some last minute things ready." He started out and waited for Ross at the door.
"Okay." Ross jumped off his seat. "Let's do it!"
"All right!" Phoebe said. "Thats the Rossie I know." She then walked past and slapped him on the behind.
Ross grimaced and then followed them out with Chandler.

A large crowd had already gathered at the edge of the beach for the surf contest. Rachel was watching Ross from her post behind the surfboard Flash was gonna use for the contest. Ross saw this. Rachel turned her head and their eyes locked very briefly. Ross didn't like what he saw.
"She looks very unhappy." Ross said.
"She should be." Monica said. "Today she told Flash that they were through whether he won today or not. He wasn't too happy about it." "Oh really?" Ross said. "He better not hurt her."
"Oh he won't. Flash doesn't know the meaning of the word fight, he really doesn't. Poor dope can't read." Monica said.
"Oh." Ross said. He looked at the couple. Flash was bragging to another chick and making poor Rachel watch. "I don't know whether to laugh or cry."
There was a whine of static and feedback when the speaker turned on suddenly. Chandler cringed.
"Will all Surf contest entrants please line up at the edge of the beach?" One of the judges said.
"Wish me luck." Ross said.
"Break a leg!" Chandler shouted.
"You don't say that to a surfer!" Monica said.
"Well I didn't know that." Chandler said as Monica looked at him. "Sunscreen?" He weakly offered. Monica walked off and joined the others at the foot of the beach.

Ross stood next to his board at the edge of the beach. Flash walked over dragging Rachel with her.
"You're going down dude. And this chick will be all mine." He said pulling Rachel close to him. Rachel obviously not liking it.
"Why don't you let her make that decision?" Ross said.
"Yeah" Rachel agreed.
"We'll just uh see about that." Flash said letting go of Rachel. She plopped onto the wet sand while Flash ran off/ Ross had actually dumbfounded the poor guy.
"How can you stand him?" Ross said.
"I don't know. Your sister introduced me to him. But thats not important right now." Rachel said and got closer. She paused a minute and looked over her shoulder. Flash waved her over. Rachel turned back around and kissed Ross full on the lips. "Thats for luck." She said backing away and walked a few feet. Instead of joining Flash and his other friends she went to Monica's blanket and joined them.
"That was nice." Monica said. "Think you'll be back together?"
"We'll have to see." Rachel said.

A few moments later, the judges explained all the rules and point stuff. Ross blanked out the judges rambling and kept his eyes on Rachel. Rachel was also watching Ross very intently.
"Four time Cowabunga King Joey will ring the gong to start the contest."
Joey got up and paraded around for a second. Then he rung the gong. Everyone went out at the same time. Ross struggled a little but got going. A few people fell off early and went back to the beach.
"Heh heh, loser." Flash said everytime one dropped out.
Pretty soon it was only Ross and Flash left. Flash noticed this, unfortunately and tried to maneuver his surfboard to get Ross to wipe out.
"Oh my god. What is that buttmunch doing?" Monica said.
"Is that legal?" Chandler asked Joey.
"Apparently." Joey said looking over at the judges board. "Apparently there's something to be said about having your dad on the judges panel." Joey observed.
"Oh that is so unfair." Rachel. "I should have dumped Flash along time ago."
Ross kept an on Flash and artfully dodged when Flash came in for the kill. Flash ended up wiping out just as Ross came into the finish line.
"We have a new cowabunga king!" was heard on the loudspeaker. "Its Ross Geller!"
Everyone cheered as they ran toward Ross who was almost out of breath. Rachel ran up and jumped in his arms. She kissed him on the lips.
"I've always loved you, you dummy, and I always will."
Ross smiled and they kissed again as the crowd gathered around and congratulated him.
Ross felt like someone was shoving him. He turned around and found the beach was empty. Then he turned around. Rachel was there.
"Ross, wake up Ross!" She said.

He opened his eyes. He sat up and found Rachel sitting next to him. She muted the TV, the beach movie was going into its ending closing credits.
"How long have I been here?" He said. Rachel yawned.
"I don't know. Boy did this movie ever suck."
"I was having a dream." He smiled to himself. "I had to win a beach contest in order to win you from the beach jerk."
"And did you?" She asked smiling.
"Yeah, of course I did, it was my dream. And you were there and you were with me again. But now..."
Rachel wordlessly kissed him. "How would you like to make that dream into reality?"
"Ok." They kissed again. He pulled away. "Will I have to surf again?"
"Not unless you want to." Rachel murmured.
"Awesome." He said smiling. And they kissed again.

The End.