Disclaimer and other legal stuff of import: The characters of the X-files and Friends are not my own, I am borrowing them. They belong to Chris Carter and Associates. Friends belong to NBC and Warner Brothers Television.
This story is inspired by the X-Files episode 2Shy
Phoebe groaned as she looked into the mirror at Rachel and Monicas appartment.
Monica turned to her and shook her head.
"I look like a cow!" Phoebe cried while crashing into the chair.
"Nonsense." Rachel said. "You look better than you ever have before."
What Phoebe was all in a bundle about was that fact that she was losing her post pregnancy weight slowly, not as fast as she had hoped she would. Phoebe was ten or twenty pounds away from being her normal weight. Her friends tried to tell her she didnt look that bad.
"Come on, Phoebe." Rachel said. "You look good. You have a kind of glow."
"Yeah. Its from the little yellow lights that light up when I turn around." Phoebe said. "I'm not going to the club with you tonight. In my state no man will want me."
The Club
A clean cut man around his 40's was walking around a loud nightclub, stopping once in a while to observe a blond, or a brunette. He was studying his latest quarry when he is approached by a tall red head.
"You looking for something?" Red said.
"Could be."
"It could be me." Red said suggestively coming his way. "Am I right?" She laid her arm around his neck intending to do just whatever she wanted. She leaned heavily on him.
"You're wrong." He said looking her over with critical eyes. "I need to go."
He abruptly left, moving so quickly that Red lost her balance and fell over a rail. The music hid the sudden thud she made when she hit the ground. Red had fallen only four feet yet she was knocked out cold. He looked back at her with cold, unfeeling eyes.
"You didn't have what I needed." He said before moving to another dance area.
Keystone, Nevada
A small shack in the middle of a tumbleweed filled plain was the center of the FBIs sting today. A man with information on assembling home-brewed platonic energy was meeting with one of the undercover operatives today. The operative, to her displeasure, was Scully. She went under the name of Ragweed Susie, the most prolorific atomic energy producer of Nevada and some isolated parts of Canada.
Scully sat patiently as the target counted out the money that she was about to recieve for a state of the art atom smasher. Scully had completely gained his trust so he knew she would not betray him. How wrong he was.
The minute the money in the briefcase was rolled across the table, Scully started to give Mulder finger signals.
Then Mulder took his sign and moved in with 5 other agents. The target dropped the money and tried to run but Agent Scully disabled him with a spinning leg kick, one thing neither the target or Mulder even expected. She pinned him to the ground and drove a knee into a sensitive area. She got up and kicked him in the side as other agents cuffed him. Scully moved to kick him again.
"Whoa, Scully." Mulder held her back. "I think the subject has been subdued."
"Sorry." Scully said. "He reminded me of a ex boyfriend. Redneck jerk."
"In our rich and fulfilling lives, when have you had time to have a boyfriend?"
Scully gave him a look then brushed a strand of her red hair out of her face.
"Agent Scully?" A agent from outside called to her. Scully shed her coon skin jacket and walked outside. Mulder picked up the jacket.
"This makes a great fashion statment." Mulder said tossing the jacket into a burning trashcan in front of the shack.
"What is it?" Scully asked. She was given a cell phone.
"Something amiss?" Mulder said when Scully talked extensively to the agent on the other end. She clicked the phone off and turned to him.
"Two women in their twenties were found this week in New york. Attempted autopsies were done,the results were iffy, but it seems like they are facing something we are a little bit more familiar with." Scully said looking at Mulder.
"Ah." Mulder nodded. "This is one of many odd cases in New york we are familiar with."
"Exactly." Scully said. "You feel like going to New york?"
"And leave all the excitment here?" Mulder said looking shocked. "Perish the thought."
"We can be there in two hours." Scully said slightly smiling at him.
"How are you gonna do that? You got a warp drive hidden in that overcoat?"
"We'll be there. If its not what we think it is we can go home." Scully said. "I just hope its not Revenge of the flukeman."
"Yeah, you did miss out of that." Mulder said.
"I just hope we get there before anything interesting happens." Scully said going to change into something more comfortable.
The club
Rachel, Phoebe and Monica entered the club and looked around.
"Guys, I'm not sure I want to be here." Phoebe said turning to Monica and Rachel only to fine out they had disapeared. "Thanks for the great support system guys! I'm gonna leave now."
Across the club at the bar he sat up and took noticed when the tall blonde came into the club. She looked a little pudgy around the middle, maybe gaining a little weight. But she was perfect. He could barely contain himself as he walked over to her.
"Hello." He said. "My name is Virgil." He said to her.
"Oh!" Phoebe said. "Like the greek author?" She asked.
"Precisely." He said. "Would you like to dance with me?"
"I dunno." Phoebe said. "I'm fat and ugly."
"You're just the perfect size for me....uh.. I didn't catch your name." He said.
"I didn't throw it." Phoebe said. "Phoebe."
"This is the first time I've seen you here." Virgil said to her as she let him lead her out onto the dance floor."
"Well I've been pregnant, I had my brotherse babies." Phoebe said matter of factly.
"You wre a surrogate mother?" He asked.
"Yea. You're the first man not to look at me like I was a perv."
"You did a very noble thing." He said as they danced. "What if I said to you *La maternité fait à toutes les femmes de belles déesses" Virgil quoted perfect French.
"I don't know but you just won me over." Phoebe said as he took her hand and led her off the floor and out of the club.
A block down
"Thank god for those secret goverment jetpacks. We got here in ten minutes." Mulder said removing his.
"All I gotta say is now I will never have to get a face lift, ever." Scully said feeling her face, her cheekbones were lifted an inch when they literally flew across the nation.
"I called for more information." Scully said as she stopped admiring her new face. "It says that these women were picked up at this club right here. That they both had considerable weight problems."
"Scully is this who I think it is?" Mulder asked.
"Virgil incanto?" Scully asked. "I thought his MO was for online stalking."
"Yes, but think about how hard it would be to get your online privaleges back after what happened." Mulder said. "Virgil is now seeking his prey in real life."
Down the block in the opposite direction in an alley.
Virgil pulled Phoebe close him him and kissed her on the forehead. Phoebe smiled and looked into his eyes.
"At last, a person who wants me for who I am and not for who I look like." Phoebe thought as Virgil closed in to kiss her.
Just before his lips connected with hers a thick gooey substance formed at his mouth. Phoebe opened her eyes for a second and saw this. She screamed.
Scully heard the scream.
"Mulder!" Scully said taking her gun out of the holster.
"It came from up there." Mulder said doing the same. They ran up the block.
Virgil now had Phoebe pinned to the gound and the substance from his mouth was still coming out of his mouth. Phoebe tried in vain to fight him off.
Mulder came around the corner and aimed his gun.
"Incanto!" Mulder yelled to get his attention.
Virgil looked up then returned to Phoebe. Mulder fired his gun as a warning shot but Virgil didn't budge. Finally Scully raised her gun and shot Virgil from a vantange spot. She was dead on target, the shot blast blew Virgil off his prey.
Phoebe got up, she was lucky she got none of Virgils deadly goo on her face.
"Thanks Dana." She said as he hugged Scully.
"Are you all right?" Scully asked as Mulder had gone to fetch Rachel and Monica.
"Pheebs!" Rachel said hugging her after they arrived shortly after the cops were called. "I'm so sorry we left you alone up at the front door."
"Thats ok." Phoebe said. "Besides the fact that he was a psycho, Virgil proved to me that I still have what some men want."
"Phoebe, that man wanted your body fat." Scully said.
"Theres no accounting for taste, is there." Phoebe said flatly as they left the alley behind.
