Caroline and Annie sat at their usual middle table at Remos eating breakfast. Julia had left in a huff last night after finding out that Richard didn't have a trust fund of his own to ooh and aw over. Richard called in sick. Very broken hearted. Annie openely celebrated about the departure of what she referred to as "italian ho". Caroline ignord her but she could not ignore her own secret joy that she had left. They met at Remos to talk about guys and stuff. And why Annie was back in New York.
"They canceled the show before my work was even seen!" She cried.
"I guess its back to that awful cat oufit now, right?" Caroline asked.
"Hell no." She said. "The director heard about my escapade and now I sing the chorus in one song."
"But I thought you did that already." Caroline said as she saw Richard tumble in the door.
"Yeah but this time I'm near a boom mike. Its pretty sweet if you ask me."
"Hi everyone." Richard intoned. Today he looked blacker than the big black pit outside Carolines window.
"Richard I'm sorry." Carolihne comforted him.
"Don't be. It was going to happen. The only time i'm ever gonna make money on my paintings when I'm dead anyway, right?"
"Don't think that way Richard." Annie said positively.
"Why shouldn't I?"
"I'm sure a flea market will take them off your hands."
Richard ignored heer and shook his head.
"We're going back to my apartment, Richard, after we eat. You're welcome to join us."
"Thats all right." Richard said. "With my luck maybe I'll die of food poisening. I might as well eat."
"Okay." Caroline said and called Remo back over.
Same time
Outside Central Perk.
Chandler tapped his foot impatiently. Phoebe had run to fetch the other four as soon as they saw the closed sign out front. Phoebe rounded the corner dragging Rachel by her free hand, carrying her purse in the other. They stopped in front of the door.
"Has this ever happened before?" Chandler said pointing to the distinct yellow sign next to the closed sign.
"Well. I don't know." She went in closer as Monica, Ross and Joey joined the group.
"Hey whats going on?" Monica asked.
"Shhe" Chandler hissed.
"This restaurant is closed until further notice." Rachel read out loud. "Its being fumigated!"
"I remember!" Phoebe rejoiced. "When this was the bar this used to have lots of rats."
"Rats?" Joey said.
"Yeah, some were bigger than your duck." She addressed Chandler who jumped back three feet.
"Would they eat ducks?" Chandler said looking at Joey who shrugged.
"I dont know." Phoebe said. "But oh I think one ate a cow once."
Then Joey and Chandler took off toward there apartment.
"Where did you hear this Phoebe?"
"Oh it was in a sci fi movie."
"Where do we go to eat?" Rachel asked as they walked away from the building.
"I've seen this place advertised on tv." Ross said. "Its called Remos. It has a bar and everything. Genuine italian food." Ross pointed out.
"Yeah," Rachel leaned to Phoebe. "And its also the one place his last girlfriend hasn't done you know in yet."
"I heard that."
"Okay."
"Well, everything is all right." Chandler eyed Phoebe suscpiciously. "I saw that movie too."
"Well, lets go to Remos!" Rachel said.
"What about Gunther?" Wont he be hurt that we didnt come here."
"Gunther never has to know."
"Okay."
They all piled into Phoebes car and left for Remos.
Remos
Remo placed a bowl of salad in front of Richard.
"I guess I'm not as hungry I thought I was." He said after Remo left.
"Well you gotta eat something." Caroline said giving him his salad fork.
"I gotta agree with Caroline. This is bad, even for you." Annie agreed.
"Maybe I'll just go home." Richard said pushing his plate away. "Nothing good is gonna happen to me here.
Remos - front door.
"Okay you knew about the restaurant, Ross, but you didn't know to make a reservation?" Rachel said as they were standing at the front door. A man named Remo was helping them.
"Yes I did make a reservation on the way over in the car of death." Ross said. He turned over to Remo. "I made a reservation for Geller party of six." He looked at Monica who was out in space. "Mon?" He waved his hand in front of her face.
"I'm here Ross." Monica said. "This is a nice place."
"Well we do what we can." Remo said.
Monica looked around when she overheard a conversation.
"Richard! Good things always happen here."
"Richard." She gasped before she even saw the Richard in question. Chandler saw Monica wander over and decided to keep a close tab on her. Monica walked by the table she heard the name and looked. The young lady continued what she was saying.
"Remember Richard when you sold that painting to the guy who worked on Days of our lives?" She stopped and turned to see Monica looking.
"Sorry, I mistook you for someone else." Monica said as Chandler came closer.
"Come on, Mon." He said gently. "We got a table now."
"Forgive me for asking, but who did you mistake me for?" Richard said. Monica looked at him.
"Her ex-boyfriend had the same name you did." Chandler said.
"Oh, I'm sorry." He said. He was immensely interested for a sec in the now silent Monica.
"Hey I know you!" Annie burst in. She tapped her hands on her menu.
"You do?" Chandler said. Lets see, he thought, I dated Janice, then the girl who left me in the bathroom, then Janice again. "I don't seem to recall."
"You were at the video store! You were gonna rent the Piano."
Monica looked at Chandler who was now shifting uneasily.
"Yeah, I remember you too." Caroline said. "You had a boyfriend and a baby."
"Joey is not Chandlers boyfriend." Monica interrupted. "And the baby is my brothers."
"Oh!" Caroline spoke up. "I'm so sorry. Its just that you looked like a gay couple with a baby."
"Thats all right." Chandler said. "People think I'm gay because I have a quality."
Caroline nodded. Ross came over and tapped Monica and Chandlers shoulders.
"Hey we have problem guys. Apparently this Remo doesn't have a table for all of us so we will have to share a table."
"How is everyone else taking it?" Monica asked.
"Not well. Rachel doesn't want to share a table with me or a stranger. Figure that out." He chuckled uneasily.
"Hey, why don't you share a table with us?" Caroline offered.
"Caoline! Ixnay! Ixnay!" Annie muttered.
"Well why not Annie?" Caroline asked. "Its the least we owe Chandler for thinking he was gay."
"I never said he was gay." Richard said.
"Me neither." Annie said.
"It'll be fine as long as Charlie and Del don't show up." Caroline got up and got another two chairs for the table. Monica sat next to Richard. Ross sat next to Caroline and Chandler sat next to Annie.
"This will be fun!" Caroline said. As soon as the friends looked at the menus Del came in the door.
"Hey Caroline!" He yelled. Charlie followed but stopped by table where Phoebe was sitting.
"Hi, I'm Charlie!"
"I'm Phoebe!" She looked at Charlies feet. "Cool rollerblades!"
"What's up Del?" Caroline asked.
"Well I wanted you to look at this contract before we sent it in." Del said looking around the table. "Official stuff. Who are these people."
"This is uh."
"Ross Geller." Ross said and shook his hand.
"He's my guy." Caroline said wrapping an arm around him. Richard's eyes widened.
"Chandler Bing." Chandler said.
"You gotta be kidding. Bing is your last name?" Del said.
"Well in the old world it used to be Bingo." Chandler said.
Annie laughed at that. "You're funny."
"And this is....?" Del said looking at Monica.
"I'm Monica Geller, I'm..."
Richard interrupted. "She's my girl." He said boldly and kissed her. Ross's jaw dropped and Chandler was at loss for words and that did happen very often.
"Talk about your dejavu." Caroline thought as Monica looked at Richard.
"Yeah, he's my guy." She said slowly. "But honey I was gonna say I was a cook first."
"Oh, sorry." Richard said. "I guess I'm so excited." He said flatly.
"Well thats nice." Del said and walked up to Charlie. "We gotta go."
"Thats so cool,. I just found my real dad!"
"I just found my real mom! And her name is Phoebe too!" Phoebe said.
Charlie gave Phoebe his phone number. Charlie and Del soon left. Meanwhile not a word was being spoken at the other table.
"Well." Chandler said. "If Ross is dating Caroline, Monica is dating Richard, I guess that means I'm dating you Annie."
"In your dreams Bing-boy." Annie said and got up and left.
Later at Remos
Chandler went out for a smoke after the events with Ross, Caroline, and Richard and Monica occurred. Caroline got her coat and tapped Ross on the shoulder.
"Uh, Can I talk to you outside Ross." She asked.
"Sure." Ross said and checked his watch. "It will have to be quick."
"Monica I need to talk to you too." Richard said.
"Okay." Monica said as she watched her brother leave. Chandler came back in at the same time.
Caroline stopped Ross outside the door to Remos.
"Oh my god. I'm sorry about what just happened in there."
"Yeah, I'd like to know what the heck that was about."
"Well." Caroline motioned to him to follow. She walked toward her home. "Its like this."
Back in the restaurant Richard was trying to explain as well as he could to Monica.
"I went to Caroline about a job as a colorist for her cartoon strip, Caroline in the City. I got the job and met all of her friends including her ex-boyfriend Del.."
"I just broke up with him over nothing. And that night I said I had a date with another guy to get him jealous..."
"But the man Caroline asked on the date didn't show up, but did and decided to save her from imminent humiliation I said I was her date."
"Richard was very sweet about doing that for me. Then I called off my wedding with Del and Richard disappeared to Paris. I never found out why. "
"The week before the wedding I wrote Caroline a letter declaring my feelings for her. Then before I left her place Caroline and Del came back. I had to sneak out of there. Then I went to Paris. I left because I thought Caroline was going to marry Del."
"He came back around the time I was seeing a younger man. He never really liked Joe. Joe had a fling with an old girlfriend and we broke up."
"As far as old girlfriends go, you don't have to worry about me." Ross said
"Why is that?"
"Well my ex-wife is a lesbian...and my old girlfriend is now bald."
"Oh."
"After Joe left everything seemed back to normal..." Richard continued.
"That is till Julia came back." Caroline and Richard said together.
"Julia was my sincere amore." Richard said. Looking up he saw that the rest of the friends were listening in.
"Thats so sad." Rachel said. "Sincere amore?"
"Thats the one love you never have to question. Thats how I felt about Caroline. Then Julia came back and confused everything."
"Julia said she was gonna marry a guy. Marcello or something. Anyway Richard had us pretend we were married so that it wouldn't look like he was lonely or anything."
"Surprisingly Caroline readily agreed to do the charade. Till I found Julia downstairs, sleeping in the nude."
"Whoa," Joey said. "Was she?" He held up his hands Phoebe smacked him.
"Lets just say they were blessed by god." Richard said flatly.
"Whoa."
"When I saw Richard kissing Julia, I finally realized how I felt about him." Caroline said. Instead of walking home they ended up walking around the block. They reentered Remos and saw Richard and Monica sitting at a table alone.
"Richard?" Caroline said.
"Caroline." Richard practically whispered.
"Its getting late. We should get to work on the holiday strips." Caroline said. They got up and left Ross and Monica at the table. The others came from the corner table.
"Richard loves Caroline." Monica said. "I imagine she talked about the same thing with you."
"Yeah. Caroline loves Richard."
"I think we have a definite mission here." Phoebe said.
"Yes." Rachel said. "We must find a way to get them together."
"And then we find out how they cram all that graham. " Chandler said as they left.
As they walked into the girls apartment. Ross thought for a minute. "Do you think they are gonna know whats happening?"
"They won't know what hit them." Monica said and grabbed the phone book and looked for Carolines number.
Later on at Monicas/Rachels place
Monica picked up the phone and dialed Richard's number. There was not an answer.
"He must be at her place." Monica reasoned. She had previously looked up Carolines number but she decided to call Richard first.
Caroline picked up her phone.
"Caroline." She said.
"Oh Caroline this is Monica Geller? From Remos this morning?" Monica said while making a sign that Caroline answered the phone.
"Oh yeah." She said. Richard's girl, she thought glumly.
"I was wondering if I can talk to Richard for a minute?" Monica said.
"Okay." And she handed the phone to Richard.
"Yes?" Richard said as he was actually surprised someone would call him there.
"Richard?" Monica said. "Are you busy tonight?"
"Well I was gonna watch a Swedish movie festival on the neighbors TV, but that I can do anytime."
"I was wondering if you meet me for dinner?" Monica said as Ross paced impatiently around.
As this was taking place Rachel and Chandler looked on.
"What are they doing?" Rachel asked.
"Maybe Monica is finally getting good use out of her MCI plan." Chandler said. When it got no reaction he said ."I'm tired, its the best I can do right now."
"Sure I'll meet you there Monica." Richard said. Caroline looked up at Richard for a second. He didn't seem to notice her sudden glance.
"Thats great! I just really wanted to thank you for being so hospitable and for sharing your table with us this morning." Monica said. "Come to Central Perk, and I'll treat you to a drink."
"Thats all right." Richard said. "Seven good?"
"Sevens great!" Monica said and hung up the phone. "Now all you gotta do is call Caroline back and make the same plans with her."
"Whoa. Wait a minute." Rachel objected.
"Whats wrong?" Monica asked.
"Well, why do this for them?" Rachel said. "We just met them today!"
"They need to be together." Monica said. "Just like two other people I know." she thought to herself.
"You don't want me to go because you think I'm gonna fall for Caroline." Ross said. "Well I'm not. We're doing this because...."
"Go ahead, and give me a good reason." Rachel interrupted.
Ross could not think of a good reason. He stayed silent for a minute.
"Because." He finally said. "I want someone to be happier than I am right now."
Rachel thought for a minute that it didnt make sense. But somehow it did. Ross grabbed the phone and hit the redial.
At the loft, Caroline picked up the phone.
"Hi, Ross," She said. Richard looked at her while she talked to Ross on the phone. "Sure I'd love to meet you at Central Perk. What time. Seven is cool."
"What was that about?" Richard said as she hung up.
"I have a date at central perk, wherever that is," Caroline said.
"Me too." Richard said.
"Well we can always meet them there. You said you were gonna pick Monica up right?"
"Yeah." Richard said. This date could be the perfect chance to tell Caroline his feelings for her. But he lost the original copy of the letter in the trash compactor. Then it hit him. Annies sister must have left her a copy of "Meet me at Remos." He could maybe sing it for her at the restaurant. But he passed by there once and the blonde headed girl from earlier in Remos sang a lot. "I'm gonna go home, if thats all right with you." He said.
"Sure, we didn't get anything done anyway." Caroline said as he left.
Richard closed the door. "After I get the song I'm gonna find Ms.Phoebe Buffay and ask her to do something for me." He got on the elevator and rode down to the lobby.
Annies
Annie opened the door to her apartment when she heard an insistent knocking. Richard blew in like a bat out of heck and slammed the door behind him.
"Annie do you still have a copy of MEET ME AT REMOS?" Richard asked her.
"Yeah. Her record producer didn't like it so sent me a copy of the song and lyrics. Why?"
"Annie, I have a date with this Monica Geller tonight at this place called Central Perk. I found out by overhearing the conversation at another table that this chick Phoebe Buffay occasionally sings at this place."
"So?" Annie asked while handing him the lyrics sheet.
"So, if I can get this Phoebe chick to sing the song while we are there, I think that Caroline will think that its not a coincidence the song was played twice when she was around."
"You really think shes gonna break that code?" Annie said. "Cause last time it reminded her she left her favorite black pumps in Dels car."
"Well this time will be different." Richard checked his watch. "Now I have two hours to find this coffee place, find Phoebe and get ready for the date."
Richard breezed out the door.
"Good luck." She hollered. "You'll need it." She said to herself.
Monicas
"Rachel what should I wear to meet this Richard?" Monica said as she held two outfits up.
"Well he wears a lot of black, so I think you should wear something to definitely contrast that."
"How about this?" Monica held up a black outfit with a very low cut top.
"Thats good." Rachel said. "I think thats mine by the way."
"Well can I borrow it?" Monica said as she went into her room. "After all we're just going to central perk. We're just gonna bring two people together. Right?"
"Yes." Rachel said. "Ross will be here any minute."
"Good. We want to present a united front. Phoebes singing tonight too so that an added bonus."
Phoebes
Richard knocked hesitantly at Phoebes door. "Is everyone cooking beets today?" He muttered to himself. Phoebe answered the door.
"Oh Hi!" Phoebe said. "You are that guy from the Remos place today."
"I'm Richard." He reintroduced himself. "Can I come in?"
"Sure. But not too long, I'm gonna go sing at Central Perk tonight. You have that date with Monica." She nods. "I think she likes you."
"Yeah, right." Richard said. "Listen, I know you probably write your own music but I would like you to sing this song for me and my..." he paused, both for dramatic effect and to try and stop himself from mentioning Caroline. "...special person." He finished.
"Sure!" Phoebe said. Richard gave her the lyric sheet. "Meet me at Remos." She read to herself ."This is very nice. Of course I will sing this."
"Thank you so much." Richard said.
"I know I probably wont do as well as the first person but thats okay right?" Phoebe said as she led him out.
"Sure, as long as you get the right message to the right person." Richard said then closed the door.
"I hope Caroline is that special person." Phoebe said to herself. "Cause otherwise I would be singing to the wrong person. That would not be good."
Monicas
Ross had gone to pick Caroline up and Monica was now waiting for Richard to show up. Everyone else was at Central Perk. Monica had asked that they not go there tonight, but she remembered that it was one of the nights Phoebe was singing there. Richard and Caroline were in for a special treat. Phoebe had called Monica fifteen minutes ago informing her that Richard had shown up at her apartment asking her to sing a special song.
"It obvisusly means something to him, but not really to her." Phoebe said.
"What does that mean?" Monica asked her, a little befuddled.
"He didn't tell me that but he carried that aura."
Monicas thoughts were interuppted as she heard a knock at the door. She opened it and Richard said. They made a very nice looking color, ones outfit was darker than the other.
"Sorry I'm late." Richard said. "A cop kept trying to stop me and tell me that car is a moving viloation."
"Thats all right." Monica assured him. "I wasnt waiting that long."
"Well shall we?" Richard said and offered her his arm.
"Yes." Monica said taking it. They walked down the stairs and headed for Central Perk.
"I hope you don't mind if we walk. It was murder getting that car a parking spot."
"Oh, I know how you feel." Monica said. "Here we are." And she opened the door to Central Perk. Caroline and Ross were sitting on the couch listening to another rendition of "Smelly Cat".
"She does have a day job right?" Caroline asked Chandler.
"You call it that, yeah." He responded.
"Caroline!" Richard whispered. Monica looked over at the couch.
"Lets go sit over there." She said. He took her hand and brought her over before she finished what she was saying. They sat down.
"Hi Richard!" Caroline smiled. "Did you know that Ross works at a mueseum?"
"No I didn't." Richard observed.
"Hi, everyone!" Phoebe said as she picked up a mike. "This next song is for two very special couples that are here tonight...I think you know who you are."
Ross looked over at Rachel who was sharing a joke with Joey. Caroline saw his longing for Rachel and sighed to herself. "Great, my date is in love with someone else. This has happened before."
Phoebe started to sing. "If you dont get there by seven, I'll have to let you go."
Caroline turned her head. "I have feelings strong feelings, meet me at remos."
She looked at Richard who was looking back at her. "I want to share your laughter, wiped away your tears..."
She mouthed the last phrase "...if you love me meet me at remos." Richard saw her lips moving and got up. He sat next to her.
"Did you request this song?" Caroline asked.
"Yes. I wrote a letter telling you I loved you. Then Annies sister made this song."
"The first time I heard it I remembered that I left my shoes in Dels car."
Ross watched as Rachel came and sat next to him. He looked at her and she smiled.
"Do you still feel this way?" Caroline asked.
"Yes."
"We have to go, talk this over, do something about this." Caroline turned and saw Ross and Monica. "We're so sorry guys. But this just happened to..."
"We made it happen this way." Rachel said. "We knew that here we two people that had to be together. So we helped fate a little."
"What did Phoebe mean by two couples?" Richard said.
"She meant Rachel and I." Ross said. "And if Rachel is willing, I think we might have a second chance. Well me anyway."
"Meet me at remos..." Phoebe sang and everybody clapped.
Richard and Caroline got up and left. Rachel, Monica and Ross sighed.
"That was good. Maybe we can get Chandler a girl if we work together this way..."
"Don't even think about it." Chandler said.
Just then a young lady walked in the room. Chandler looked at her for a minute.
"On second thought...." Chandler said as the group laughed.
The end
