Joey: How'd she find out?
Chandler: I think I kind of messed up when I called her while the Mets were in Toledo.
Joey: You mean they don't have phones in Toledo.
Chandler: No Joe, they send smoke signals.
Joey: Ohhhh.
(Pheobe walks in to Central Perk and sits down)
Pheobe: You'll never guess who I just gave a massage to!
Joey: Mickey Mouse?
Pheobe: (quickly)No...
Joey:(interupting)Will Clinton?
Pheobe: It's Bill Clinton.
Joey: Wow you just massaged the President. Does Hilary know about this?
Pheobe: NO, no, no
Joey: You better watch out that lady's feisty.
Pheobe: I've never even met the President Joey?
Joey: Then how'd you get the appointment?
Pheobe: I didn't
Joey: huh?
Chandler: Forget about it Pheebs, he's just not the same without his Cocoa Puffs in the morning.
Joey: Hey look there's Kate outside I thought she left. (runs out of Central Perk)
Pheobe: Anyway this tv guy was in the massage parlour today and he said I was perfect for a part in one of his shows. I get to be a super hero for kids.
Chandler: Wow, good gig, does he need someone for the role of the sarcastic yet charming sidekick Chan Chan?
Pheobe: NO but he said there's an opening for Dr. Pukons's henchman #14
Chandler: Now that's just as good.
*** Theme Song Plays***
Scene: Mon and Rachel's apartmet, Pheobe and Monica
Monica: So you are going to be Flygirl?
Pheobe: Yeah, I told him it should be Flyperson but he said the kids would think I was some kind of scary scientest dude.
Monica: Of couse they would? Are you sure this guy is for real? He may just be sucking you in to some kind of scam.
Pheobe: Mon you are such worrier! He gave me his card and everything. He said I was just the person they were looking for and he's calling me. (Joey walks in)
Joey: I can't believe you got the role of a life time and I'm still playing Sparky the Sperm in a public service announcement. Although Connie Condom does have a thing for me. We're going out this week.
Pheobe: Hey what happened to Kate, didn't you see her today. Did you get to talk?
Joey: Yeah, it wasn't really Kate. It looked just like her, well except that Kate isn't 50 years old, black, with a mohawk. Me and Jessa did have a great conversation about my role on Days of Our Lives.
Pheobe: Oh that reminds me, there's a role as one of Dr. Pukon's Henchman in my show. My show that sounds so cool. (singing) My show, my show, it's all about me and my friend moe. la la la la la la la la .
Joey: Uh hello, did you say you have an actor friend? Who was Dr. Drake Ramoray on Days of our Lives??
Pheobe: Actually I was thinking Ross would be better for the part. You know how he's so tall. But yeah I did tell him about you. He said the producer's of Days of Our Lives told him about you and how you were such a hot shot. Sorry.
Joey: I can't believe it, I can't even work for some guy named Pukon!
Pheobe: I've got to go now, talk to you later guys. (leaves)
(Ross and Rachel walk in)
Rachel: Hi guys.
Ross: Hi.
Joey: Did you her Pheobe's going to be on tv?
Rachel: Your kidding?
Joey: Nope, but I'm not going to be on tv.
Rachel: Ohh. Sorry honey.
Ross: Mon mom and dad are coming to visit tomorrow. They said, they'll be at your house for dinner around 8:00. Me and Rach will be there too. Right hon? (kisses Rachel)
Rachel: Right
Monica: What when did they just decide to plan this! What if I had a date? What if I had plans?
Ross: Do you?
Monica: No, but that's not the point.
Ross: Actually they made plans last week, I kinda forgot to tell you.
Monica: Ohhh. Thanks big brother. Now when Mom and Dad come they'll complain to me. All night it'll be (in a mocking voice) ' Oh monica, what happened to pete?' ' he was so rich' ' you could of been a millionare' and their old favorite, 'there's nothing wrong with you just because you single little Harmonica'
Ross: It won't be that bad
Monica: They like you, they hate me. It will be that bad!
Joey who was looking though Monica's fridge this whole time takes with him a loaf of bread, a tomato, and ham.
Monica: What are you doing?
(Joey looks down at his things)
Joey: Oh yeah (grabs the mustard from the fridge) Thanks Mon.
Scene: TV productions area Pheobe talking to business men
Pheobe: And I get my own dressing room?
Suit 1 : Yes
Pheobe: Cool! Can I put flowers in it?
Suit 1: Of course.
Pheobe: Can I burn incense in it?
Suit2 : Yeah sure
Pheobe: Can I..
Suit2: (pissed off at her) You can do whatever the hell you want to do with it okay! Paint it purple and chant to the spirits for all I care.
Pheobe: Good idea! I think I'll try that
Suit2: Oh my god I can't stand this you've been asking the same stupid questions all day haven't you ever been in a tv studio before?
Pheobe: Well no, that's why I'm asking.
Suit 3: What haven't you acted before?
Pheobe: In third grade I was Mrs. Clause.
Suit 2: You've only been in a Christmas Play?
Pheobe: Play? No, in third grade, I had a pretend wedding to this guy named Toby Clause. Don't you remember when you were kids how you did that? (suits look angry)
Pheobe: You must have had a crappy child hood. scene Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Pheobe sitting on matching recliners.
Pheobe: And then they kicked me out! Now I'll never get to fight evil as Fly girl. Those poor kids will have to watch some *actress* instead of me.
Joey: I know how it feels honey, when Days of Our Lives fired me I felt so bad, but you'll get over it.
Pheobe: I mean how was I supposed to know when they said experience, they meant in acting?
Joey: Uhh what else would they have meant?
Pheobe: You know, Life experience.
Joey: Okay. Well you know what, I bet it wasn't that great of show because they wouldn't even let you be Fly person.
Pheobe: But it was my show you know? (pauses a while) (singing) I lost my show, I lost my show, Now I'll never get to work with Moe, You know La la la la la
Joey: See you got to write a song about it.
Scene: Monica's apartment. She's in the kitchen preparing supper. Ross, Rachel, and The Gellers are at the table.
Mrs. Geller: So Ross, It's good to see you and Rachel together. It's so nice that you've found someone. At your age if you don't have anybody in your life it's so hard to find them.
Monica: Mom, subtlity isn't your specility.
Mrs. Gellar: What are you talking about Monica?
Monica: You are hinting about me breaking up with Pete, I just know it.
Mr. Geller: Pete? The rich one? You broke up with him? Why would you do a thing like that he was a millionare and he was so , what's the word dear?
Mrs. Geller: Rich?
Mr. Geller: Yes that's it.
(time lapse) the evning is ending and the parents are leaving
Mrs. Geller: Okay we'll see you soon kids.
Mr. Geller: Yes and bye Rachel dear.
Mrs. Geller: So I'll get the Pittmans' son to call you okay. He's really very nice. He has a great personality
Monica: Of course he does. Bye bye. ( closes door)
Ross: Okay sorry Mon, It was that bad.
(Monica smiles)
Rachel: Why are you so happy? You have a date with Mr. Great Personality Still Living with His Parents.
Monica: I spit in their soup.
Ross: Congratulations Monica, they needed it.
