Note : This is a kind of experimental episode. Nothing written in here could
actually be seen in a real show, cause it would cost far two much money. It was written in the
middle of season five.
The latest episode I had seen so far was The One With Chandler's Work Laugh, so maybe some
of the stuff contained in this fanfic is not logical with the ending of the season. For example,
at that time, the ugly naked guy was still living in his appartment. The end of season five learned us that
he moved away, but I didn't know that. I didn't
know how would end the season, but I knew that everybody found out about Chandler and Monica,
so I guessed it was better if their relationship wasn't hidden anymore in this fanfic. Anyway,
the purpose of The One With the New Millenium's Eve isn't to deal with some recurrent plots of
Friends but to imagine how our six friends could spend their time during this historical New
Year's Eve.
And here are my suggestions...
[Intro-Scene. Monica and Rachel's. The all gang except Monica is here,
around the table. They're all very nicely dressed-up and apparently they just have finished
their New Years' Eve diner. Monica suddenly goes out from her room, dressed with a very smart
red dress. She seems very nervous.]
Monica (who stops as she see them)
- What are you still doing at the table?
Ross
- Com'on relax, Monica! This is supposed to be fun.
Monica
- It's 22:00!!! There's no fun anymore at this hour! Get ready or we never gonna reach Times
Square in time!
Joey (who stands up, and everyone does the same)
- Ok, I gotta go, now...
Rachel
- It's so bad that you can't go with us tonight.
Joey
- Yeah, I know. I said yes for this job and I can't go back. Oh, but they told me that if things
were going well, I should be free before midnight. Maybe I will be able to reach you in time.
Phoebe
- What's that again?
Joey
- I don't know. They haven't told me. They just called this morning and it happened really fast.
I woudln't have say yes if I wasn't needing money right now. (leaving) Sorry, gotta go...
Phoebe
- What kind of job can someone do in two hours?
Joey (stops at the door)
- Well they said they chose me for my body so...
Rachel (disgusted)
- Don't even say it!
Joey leaves the room.
Monica (suddenly screaming)
- HELLO?!?
Rachel (who's tired of her and goes in her bedroom to get prepared)
- Oh, all right, all right...
Ross
- Ok, I'm gonna see Ben a while. I see you in Times Square?
Chandler
- All right, be in time!
Ross leaves.
Monica
- Chandler, are you ready to go?
Chandler (walking toward her and taking her in his arms)
- Monica, would you relax a bit?
Monica
- I'm sorry... I'll try to calm down.
Chandler
- You know why you should be relaxing? Cause in two hours from now, at midnight, you're gonna
receive the best kiss you've ever been given.
Monica (who smiles)
- Oh yeah? The first kiss of the millenium? (her face turns suddenly horrified)
Oh my God! I put the wrong lipstick!!!
She rushes back in her bedroom.
OPENING CREDITS
[Scene : Monica and Rachel's. The scene's continuing. Chandler is now in the couch, reading
the latest issue of the New York Times. Phoebe is sitted besides him, watching TV.]
Chandler (who has apparently found something interesting in the paper)
- Hey, look at that! (Phoebe looks) The City Hall has organised a free lotery. All the
inhabitants of New-York have been registered and the first price is 5 millions dollars!!! That's
a lot of money!
Phoebe
- I know what I'd do with 5 millions bucks...
Chandler
- Really, what?
Phoebe
- Well, first, buy a huge appartment for my mother. You know, so she can live in town...
Chandler (who likes the idea)
- That's sweet!
Phoebe
- OH NO! First, I buy one of those big big trucks that belong to the firemen. And then I could
reorganise it inside and put lots of animals in it. Like bears or... DODOS! I could definitely
put dodos in it!
Chandler
- Phoebs, dodos are extinct.
Phoebe
- Well, not if they come in my truck!
Monica (going out from her bedroom)
- Ok, I'm ready. Let's go. Rachel?
Rachel (from her room, overheard)
- I come! I come!
Chandler
- That's weird, the last time I heard that it was from Monica...
Monica (who doesn't like the joke)
- You don't laugh with sex! Sex is not funny!
Chandler
- All right, mother...
Monica
- What are you doing? You're reading a paper? It's 22:30 now and you're reading a paper? Do you
want to kill me right here right now or what?
Chandler (who looks at her with his "what's-wrong-with-her?" face)
- Let me think twice about it.
Rachel (coming out from her room)
- Ok, ready, we can go!
Monica (suddenly all excited)
- Ok, com'on people! Stand up and take the door! Up! Up! Up!
They all stand up without conviction.
Monica
- UP! UP! UP!
They react quickly and reach the door.
Phoebe (to Monica)
- You know Monica, don't say that in front of a man, it can be very disturbing for him!
Monica
- What?
Phoebe (who realises her mistake)
- Oh no! That's when you're making love!
[Scene : Carol's. Ben's bedroom. Ben is lying in his bed, sleeping. Ross and Carol are standing above him, watching him quietly.]
Ross
- That's too bad, I so wanted to wish him a happy millenium!
Carol
- You'll have plenty of time. Just come here tomorrow morning.
Ross
- I could? Thanks! (a moment) So... Susan's not here tonight?
Carol
- No, she eventually fixed some problems with her parents. She will join me later. In fact, she should be arriving soon now.
Ross
- Oh. Well, I'd better go before she gets here then. I don't want to ruin her evening!
Carol seems amused by what he said.
Carol
- She doesn't hate you, Ross.
Ross
- Yeah, you're right!!! (another moment) Listen, can I ask you something?
Carol
- Yeah, sure!
Ross
- It's pretty weird but...
Carol
- Don't worry, go on! Tell me!
Ross
- Would you like to give a little kiss tonight?
Carol (smiling)
- Ross...
Ross
- Oh, just tonight! Com'on, it's the new millenium! I don't have anyone to kiss tonight and...
Carol gets closer to him and they have a soft kiss.
Carol
- I know you've been through hard times lately. It's gonna be okay, Ross. Nice things will happen to you.
Ross
- Thank you, Carol. You know I love you.
Carol
- Me too. Now go on! Your friends are waiting for you!
Ross (leaves her)
- Bye! (as going out) Happy New Year!
Carol
- Happy new life, Ross!
Carol closes the door behind him.
[Scene : Broadway, at the 34th. Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Phoebe are walking. There's a very light spirit in the air. The street is filled with happy people, partying, laughing, enjoying their evening.]
Monica (walking hysterically fast ahead)
- Com'on! We're almost there!
Rachel (exhausted)
- Mon, we've been marching for 30 minutes!!! Can't we just make a pause?
Monica
- You wanna be late? Is that what you wanna be?
Phoebe is walking behind the group, with Chandler. A man with a strange hat goes toward Phoebe.
It's one of those particular mad people that you can only find in New-York.
The mad man
- Hey, sister! You wanna come with me to my space ship?
Phoebe
- Why would I do that?
The mad man
- You have to save your skin before the aliens land on Times Square!!! Or you'll be doomed
forever!
Phoebe
- Oh! Ok, then...
She tries to come with him but Chandler gets her by the arm.
Chandler
- Come here sister. What are you thinking about?
Phoebe
- What? There's this nice man who wants to save my skin from the aliens and... Oh, I see your point.
Chandler (with his "eventually-she-got-it" face)
- Glad you understood...
Phoebe
- I'm sorry, it's just that I'm all freaked up each millenium!
[Scene : The backstage of some theatre. Joey is there with a man.]
The man (showing a folding screen)
- Go behind there and dress yourself up. I wait for you for a little rehearsal.
Joey (going behind the screen)
- All right. (he disappears behind) Are you sure it's all there?
The man
- Yeah. Be quick.
Joey (overheard)
- Cause all I can see is this little stretchy suit!
The man
- You got it!
Joey (overheard)
- Oh man, where did get myself into?
COMMERCIALS
[Scene : Times Square. Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Phoebe eventually arrived. The crowd is immeasurable. On the north cross-roads, a big stage is set with a group of musicians and some huge video screens showing the stage in close-ups. Now the band is playing a popular song and everyone in the street is dancing and partying.]
Monica
- Man, we're there! That's huge!
Chandler
- So will you please calm down?
Monica
- I'm sorry! I'm making this horrible for you, I guess...
A cellular phone rings. It's Rachel's phone.
Rachel
- Who could it be? (answering loud to be heard over the music and the noise) RACHEL GREEN, HELLO?
[Scene : A subway station. Ross is trapped in a huge crowd, trying to get in the train.]
Ross
- Hey, Rach? It's Ross!!!
Rachel (overheard)
- Oh! Ross! Where are you now?
Ross
- I'm trying to reach you but there's this terrible crowd. I'll try to be there in time. Where are you precisely?
[Scene : Back to Times Square.]
Rachel (looking for where they are)
- Uuum... We are at... the corner of the 46th West! We wait for you!... Ok, see you...
Monica
- Ross?
Rachel
- Yeah, he tries to reach us. He should be arriving soon.
The music eventually stops. Then the host of the evening appears on stage : it's David Letterman. He takes a micro to be heard.
David Letterman (let's call hime Dave)
- Thaks a lot! Now, quiet down people please! Thank you ladies and gentlemen, we just heard this incredible
song about this threesome, which can only remind us how hard was this year for president
Clinton!
A big part of the crowd laughs at the joke.
Chandler
- Man, when is he gonna stop those?
Dave
- As you surely know the City Hall organised this free lotery for all the inhabitants of
New-York! (the crowd cheers) Well, I think that now it's nearly midnight, the time to
pronounce the winner has come! (the crowd cheers again).
A pretty woman appears on stage with a big envelope.
Dave
- Here's our Mayor's counsellor, Mrs. Jane Taylor, who brings us the evelope in which the
winner is written. (the crowd cheers) So, let's take a look at this. (he takes the
envelope and opens it as the noise of a "suspense" drum is overheard)... The winner of
the great New-York City Millenium Lotery is... (the crowd is silent) Mr. Rudolph
Giuliani!!! (cymbal noise ; the crowd laughs) Nooo, of course not, let's get serious
for once. The winner of the New-York City Millenium Lotery is... Mr. CHANDLER BING!!!
Chandler (in the crowd, he's astonished)
- What? What? What? What?
Monica (astonished too, as the others)
- Oh my God!!! My God, you're a millionaire!!!
Chandler (out of breath)
- What? Wha...? Wh...?
Rachel (in a smile)
- Oh man, I'm so happy for you and for us and... man, I hate you!!!
Phoebe
- I can't believe it!
Dave (continuing)
- Mr. CHANDLER BING is the winner of the millenium, ladies and gentlemen! Well, maybe except
for his name but... (the crowd laughs) I mean, after all, with a name like that, he was
the only one to win : Chandler... (he makes the noise of a cash-box, something like
"tshh-tshrink!") ...Bing! (the crowd laughs once again)
Chandler
- Ok, he's becoming annoying now...
Dave
- Anyway, is there any chance that our Chandler Bing is in here, ladies and gentlemen?
Monica
- He calls you! He calls you!
Chandler (shouting, waving his arms)
- HERE! I'M HERE!!!
Dave
- I'm hearing someone in here! Where are you?
Chandler
- HERE! HERE!
A big spotlight comes on Chandler. He's now the center of the evening.
Dave
- Hey hey hey! He's there! Com'on, Chandler, reach us on stage!
Chandler (kissing Monica)
- Ok, I think I gotta go now. Wait for me...
He runs toward the stage. The crowd is dense but he eventually reaches it.
Dave
- Here's our winner, ladies and gentlemen!
Chandler is now on stage, and the entire crowd of Times Square is cheering.
Dave
- So, we've got a special special gift for you. Look at behind you...
Chandler turns back and sees a huge cake, as tall as a man, being brought on stage. There's a big "2000" sign at its base.
Dave (as he speaks the drum begins to rumble)
- Your check is arriving.
As the "suspense" is at his maximum, a cymbal noise is heard and someone gets suddenly out of the cake. The only problem is that the person is Joey.
Joey (dressed with a tiny stretchy bath suit in leopard, with the check in his hands)
- SURPRISE!!!... Chandler?!?
Chandler
- Oh, my God! Joey, what are you doing?
Joey
- I don't know, they just told me to get in the cake and...
Dave (coming toward Joey)
- Your micro is working!
Joey suddenly realises and turns toward the huge crowd that's been hearing what he's said.
Joey (horrified)
- Oh, my God! I'm stared by thousands of people (he thinks twice and a smile is coming on
his face) I am stared by thousands of people!!!
Dave
- Ok, I guess there was a little confusion in here... Um, let me explain, we were supposed to
have a man in the cake for the case where a woman was the winner but apparently it's not the
case now... So, anyway, we can go on, right?
Joey
- Oh, sure, yeah, okay... Mr. Chandler Bing, here's your 5 millions dollars check offered by
the City Hall of New-York...
Chandler (taking the check from his hands, not happy at all)
- Thanx!!! Joey!!! (looking at the check) Oh, man, I'm rich!...
Joey (who continues because he knows that thousands of people listen to him)
- And this check was given to you by me, Joey Tribbiani. I'm an professional actor! I was Doctor
Drake Ramoray in Days of Our Lives!!! (he continues to speak but we can't hear him anymore:
his micro has been shut down)
Dave
- Ok, it's nearly midnight so, Mr. Bing, I let you go with your friends, if you have any, to
celebrate this historical New-Year's Eve! Bye and congratulations! (the crowd cheers as he leaves
the stage)
Joey
- Hey, Chandler! Wait for me! I get dressed and I come!
Chandler (speaking to himself)
- I don't know you. I don't know you.
Chandler reaches the others.
Monica (smiling)
- Oh man, I'm so happy for you.
Chandler
- I still can't believe it!
Phoebe
- Does that mean I can get my truck?
Ross eventully arrives.
Chandler
- Ross! You couldn't believe it! I'm rich!
Ross
- I know! And Joey's ridiculous! I saw all that on the big screens!
Joey reaches them. He's now all dressed up.
Joey
- Hey, don't look at me like that, okay? I didn't have any single idea that they would make me
do that!
Dave (still on stage)
- Com'on people, it's nearly midnight! Get prepared for kissing!!!
The ball on top of Times Square begins to go down.
Dave
- Com'on people, countdown with me!!! TEN!!! NINE!!!
Chandler (taking Monica by the hand)
- Com'on...
He makes her climb a car parked there. They stand on top of it, over the crowd.
The crowd
- ...EIGHT!!! SEVEN!!! SIX!!! FIVE!!!...
Phoebe (to Joey)
- I found your bath suit very sexy!
Joey
- Oh yeah?
Phoebe
- Yeah! Are you still wearing it?
Joey
- Yeap!
Phoebe
- Mmmh, I definelty wanna kiss you at midnight!
Joey (smiling)
- You're the boss!
The crowd
- ...FOUR!!! THREE!!! TWO!!!...
Rachel
- Are you fine, Ross?
Ross
- Yeah. This is a new life for me.
Rachel
- Am I in it?
Ross
- You've always been, Rach...
The crowd
- ...ONE!!!... ...ZERO!!!!!...
The crowd is suddenly cheering and expressing his joy and hope. Everywhere it's just smiles
and happy faces.
Dave
- HAPPY NEW MILLENIUM, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!
On the top of the car, Chandler and Monica have the most passionate kiss they've ever had.
Phoebe and Joey kiss, as Rachel and Ross. For them, it's not the same kind of kiss. It's not
like if their were going out ; it's just for tonight.
Monica (as they stopped kissing)
- I'm sorry I ruined your evening.
Chandler
- You didn't ruin anything. Cause the night has just began.
Joey (suddenly jumps on the car, besides Chandler and Monica)
- (in a liberating scream) WOOHOOOOOO!!!
Ross and Rachel hugs. Phoebe stares at Joey, laughing.
Joey (screaming to the crowd)
- WE ARE THE NEXT GENERATION!!! WOOHOOOOOOO!!!
The camera pulls back, and we discover the entire scene of Times Square. It's one of the most impressive scene one could ever think of.
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene : Monica and Rachel's. It's the morning. They're all there, on the balcony, watching at the sunset : the sun is raising. There's a softer hum that's going from the streets now.]
Chandler
- That's it. We're in 2000 now...
Monica
- Yeah...
A moment.
Phoebe
- Oh, my God! Look at the ugly naked guy!
Rachel
- What?
Phoebe
- He's dressed up!!!
Chandler
- Well, it's not everyday the new millenium right?
THE END
Finished the 01/04/99
The One Where Joey's a Cop is the continuing of this episode. Check it out!
Any criticisms, good or bad, are welcome. You think it's the best or the worst fanfic you've ever read? Just e-mail me and let me know. I'll put up your reviews...