Crow: He better ask soon or the show will have to bring up a secondary plotline about the dad.
KEVIN: I don't know. Maybe.
PAUL: Then who am I supposed to go with?
Tom: Just dont bring “Janice” the CPR dummy again, ok?
KEVIN: I don't know. Hey, why don't you ask Carla Healy?[PAUL starts sneezing and sniffling.]
All: Bless you!
PAUL: No way. No way.
KEVIN: Why not? I hear she likes you.
PAUL: Just stop talking about her, okay?
NARRATOR: The words 'Carla' and 'Healy'had the same effect on Paul as seafood and grass pollen - severe membrane nflammation.[Shot of WINNIE approaching.][WINNIE looks at PAUL.]
Crow: She wont like him if he gets his boogers all over her.
WINNIE [to KEVIN]: What's wrong with him?
Tom: Who knows.
Mike: Dont get me started.
Crow: How long you got?
KEVIN: I said the 'C' word.
WINNIE: Carla Healy?[PAUL sneezes.]
Tom: (makes ricochet sound)
WINNIE: [to PAUL] Are you gonna ask her to the dance or something?
PAUL: No way, I'm not.
Crow: Heh, nerd and nerdier.
WINNIE: [to KEVIN] You mean, you're asking Carla Healy?
PAUL: No he's asking Lisa Berlini.[KEVIN looks sternly at PAUL who is vigorously scratching his chin.]
WINNIE: Lisa Berlini, huh?
KEVIN: Yeah. I don't know. I might not.
Mike: I hope they threw that cpr dummy out, hes getting weird ideas.
WINNIE: You know, you should. She's nice.
KEVIN: She's okay.
WINNIE: Well, I guess I'll see you guys later.[WINNIE leaves.KEVIN watches WINNIE walk away,slams his locker and turns to PAUL.]
PAUL: What? [Gestures.]
All: Hey!
INT. DAY. SOCIAL STUDIES CLASSROOM.[Shot of picture of beached whales on projection screen. The room is dark.]
Tom: Oh I like this, I can’t see a thing.
MR. KATZ: They're called dead whales, people. My question to you is, why?[KEVIN is sitting at a desk beside LISA.]
Mike: Tailors of america! We challenge you to dress this whale!
NARRATOR: I felt sort of weird talking to Winnie about Lisa but I'd forgot all that by social studies. The lights were dimmed for a slide show on pollution and I was within striking distance of the best smelling head of hair in the seventh grade.
Crow: Pantene hair!
MR. KATZ: Where have all the flowers gone? [Slide changes.]How many roads must a man walk down?
Tom: How boring can one guy be?
[KEVIN looks at LISA. LISA looks at KEVIN.] NARRATOR: The time was right for the most intimate form of communication known to twelve-year-old man: inter-classroomnote writing.
Crow: Hey thats rude!
[Shot of KEVIN's note:] Pretty interesting stuff huh?
Tom: Not really.
[LISA writes a note and passes it to KEVIN.]
[Shot of LISA's note:] Tell me about it.
[They continue to pass notes.]
[Shot of KEVIN's note:] At least we won't have any homework.
NARRATOR: In a note you could say anything you wanted to. Lines I would have choked on under the glare of fluorescentlights were coming out like poetry with the venetian blinds drawn.
Mike: How come I never tried this?
[Shot of LISA's note:] I hope you're right.
Crow: But what are the chances of that?
[Shot of KEVIN's note:] Are you going to the dance on Friday?[LISA smiles.]
[Shot of LISA's note:] Maybe....
NARRATOR: The signs were there. She wanted me.[KEVIN sharpens his pencil.]
Tom: Should he quit before or after the court tells him to stay away from her?
NARRATOR: It was time to throw cautionto the wind.[Shot of KEVIN's note:] Want to go to the dance with me?[KEVIN watches LISA read the note.]
MR. KATZ: The problem is excess. We keep pushing, pushing and it always ends up by us going one step too far.[Shot of KEVIN getting nervous.]
NARRATOR: Dear God, he was right. What was I thinking? I mean, one lousy phone call, a couple of notes and suddenlyI'm asking her to the dance? It was all happening too quickly. I wantedthat note back.
[Shot of LISA's note:] OKAY. [KEVIN smiles at LISA.]
NARRATOR: Then again, why stop when you'reon a roll?[LISA smiles demurely at KEVIN again.] MR. KATZ: Lights, please.[The lights come on. The bell rings. The class begin to exit.]
Crow: Read Moby Dick for tomorrow people!
NARRATOR: It was all so perfect. With one flick of the wrist I'd opened up an entirely new and exciting chapter in my life as an adolescent.[KEVIN follows LISA into the hallway.]
NARRATOR: Lisa Berlini was mine to have and to hold, for better or for worse, till death do us part.[KEVIN sees LISA standing just outside of the classroom door. She has been stopped by BRAD.]
Tom: Who’s this loser?
BRAD: Hi, Lisa. You want to go to dance with me on Friday?[Shot of LISA and BRAD. KEVIN is standing behind LISA and frowning.]
LISA: Okay.
BRAD: Great. I'll see you.
NARRATOR: I had it in writing. Maybe therewas some legal action I could take.[Shot of LISA talking to her girlfriend. KEVIN is behind her.]
All: Ahhhhhh.
KEVIN: Um, Lisa?[LISA turns.]
Crow: Uh oh.
LISA: Oh, Kevin. [Surprised smile.]
KEVIN: Yeah. Um, did you just say you'd go to the dance with Brad?[Shot of LISA looking a bit worried.]
Mike: Yep.
NARRATOR: I'd seen that look before, in1964 when my mother put our cocker spaniel to sleep.
Crow: Mike is that what happened to coconummymuffin?
Mike: Actually Dr F took him back.
LISA: Well, yeah.
KEVIN: But you just said you'd go with me.
Tom: (as Lisa) Gee I was hoping you wouldnt remember that.
LISA: That was before Brad asked me.
KEVIN: So?
LISA: So I didn't know he was gonna ask me when I said 'yes'to you.
KEVIN: So?
Crow: He says “so” again I’ll kill him.
LISA: Well, I mean, you're not gonna be weird about this or anything,are you? [KEVIN sighs and shrugs.] I mean, I really like you, Kevin, as a... [Freeze–frame of Lisa in mid-sentence.]
Mike: Did the tape break?
NARRATOR: And that's when she said it.The word I was to hear from beautiful girls, like Lisa Berlini, time and time again. The word that struck a chord so violent in me that I wantedto strangle guys like Brad Gaines with my bare hands.
Mike: I know how he feels.
Tom: Mike you never had a girlfriend.
Mike looks at him. Crow: Can you see why?
LISA: ...friend.
NARRATOR: Argh![Shot of KEVIN looking hurt.]
Tom: So memorable, the first time you are shot down by a pretty girl.
Crow: Look familiar Mike?
INT. DAY. SCHOOL CAFETERIA.[Close up of PAUL.]
PAUL: Tough break with this Lisa Berlini thing, huh? [He smiles.][Shot of KEVIN, PAUL, and WINNIE sitting at a table.]
Tom: Gee, rub it in.
NARRATOR: At least Paul was happy to hear of my rejection. It meant he wouldn't have to ask Carla Healy to be his date.
WINNIE: [to KEVIN] Aren't you gonna eat your hamburger?
KEVIN: I'm not hungry.
PAUL: I wouldn't eat it either. You see how they make the hamburgers?They put all this gross stuff in it.
Crow: Yeah, jerks put meat in it.
WINNIE: It tastes all right to me.
PAUL: I heard Eddie Obin bit into a hamburger and a bug flew out from under the bun.
Mike: Must have been at white castle.
WINNIE: No way.
PAUL: That's what he said.
WINNIE: I don't believe it.
PAUL: I do. It's documented fact.[KEVIN bangs the table with his fist.]
Crow: Yeah, Ripleys Believe it or not is really credible.
NARRATOR: All right, that did it. There was only so much one guy could take.
Tom: He's gonna kick butt.
KEVIN: First of all, there's no way a bug can breathe under a hamburger bun and it probably would have suffocated before Eddie even bit into it.
WINNIE: That's right. And besides that, a bug is too quick toget caught in a hamburger to begin with.
PAUL: Let's say it did get caught under the bun but didn't suffocate.It probably would have flown away when...
Mike: Is this kid for real?
KEVIN and WINNIE: [simultaneously] ...Eddie put the ketchup on.[KEVIN and WINNIE look at each other.]
NARRATOR: Winnie and I always saw eye to eye on stuff like that. It was like we were born under the same sign or something.
Tom: Yeah, "Dip in road"
PAUL: Suit yourselves. I'm getting an ice cream sandwich.[PAUL leaves. WINNIE looks at KEVIN, then picks up the lunch menu.]
Mike: I want one!
Crow: Get me one too!
KEVIN: Oh, is that the new lunch menu?
WINNIE: Yeah. Pizza boats, chilled pears, and carrot sticks on Wednesday.[Shot of KEVIN looking at WINNIE.]
NARRATOR: Maybe it was the buzz of thecafeteria, maybe it was the sting from Lisa Berlini, but sitting thereacross from Winnie, I felt a hunger burning within me.[Shot of WINNIE reading from menu.]
Tom: (testy) It's tell you to eat you giant clod!
WINNIE: Sloppy Joes, Tater Tots, and an orange wedge on Thursday.
KEVIN: I love sloppy joes.
WINNIE: Me too.
Crow: Ahhhhh.
Tom: Thrill as they discuss the dessert tray!
NARRATOR: Her message seemed clear enough.Behind the charade of the lunch menu recital burned the untapped rage of our secret passion.[WINNIE looks directly at KEVIN.]
Mike: Maybe they are meant for each other.
WINNIE: On Friday it's macaroni and cheese, peanut butter cookies,and fruit cocktail.[KEVIN leans forward.]
KEVIN: Winnie, will you go to the dance with me?
WINNIE: Dance? [Pause. She looks sad.] I can't. I'm alreadygoing with Kirk McCray.[KEVIN sits back, ejectedly.]
Crow: He crash and burns again.
Tom: If he wasnt the strong person he wass, hed considered other options by now.
INT. DAY. SCHOOL CORRIDOR.[KEVIN and PAUL are standing at their lockers.]
PAUL: God, Winnie Cooper and an eighth grader. [Shot of KIRKand WINNIE a little ways down the hallway.] Can you believe it?
Crow: Nope.
KEVIN: Really amazing.
PAUL: I mean... he's actually... cool.
Tom: Cool compared to what?
KEVIN: So I'm told.
PAUL: Captain of the Football team, Mr. Popularity.[KEVIN turns to PAUL and shakes his finger.]
KEVIN: Look, Paul. There's more to life than being cool, athletic and popular!
Mike: Theres also fan dancing!
Crow and Tom: Whooo!
NARRATOR: It was all too much to take.First Lisa Berlini had opened the wound. [Shotof KIRK and WINNIE talking andsmiling.]Now Winnie Cooper poured the salt. [Shot of KEVIN and PAUL at lockers.]There was only one solution left with regards to the upcoming dance.
Tom: Kirk has to die.
PAUL: So I guess it's just you and me for the dance on Friday,huh? [He smiles.]
All: Ug! Fraid not!
KEVIN: Nope, I'm not going.[KEVIN slams his locker and walks out of scene.]
PAUL: What?!
EXT. DAY. RFK JUNIOR HIGH BUS STOP.[Bus pulls away, revealing KEVIN and PAUL.][They start to walk to Kevin’s house.]
PAUL: You've got to go.
KEVIN: No, I don't.
Crow: Make me allergy boy.
PAUL: Kevin, you know I can't go if you don't go.
KEVIN: Yes, you can. You can do anything you want. I'm staying home.
PAUL: Kevin, only losers stay home.
KEVIN: Then I guess I'm a loser. What's the big deal anyway,it's just a stupid dance.
PAUL: Just a dance? Just a dance?!
Mike: Could he say that again? I dont think anyone in cambodia heard that.
:INT. DAY. KEVIN'S BEDROOM.[KEVIN enters through kitchen.] PAUL (V/O): Just a dance?![KEVIN enters his bedroom and flopsface-down under the pillow. PAUL follows him in.]
PAUL: Kev, you’re making a big mistake!
KEVIN [under pillow]: NoI’m not! Now go away!
PAUL: I just can’t show up to this thing alone![KEVIN sits up.]
KEVIN: Then don’t! Go ask Carla Healy.And stop bothering me![KEVIN beats his chest.]
Tom does Tarzan yell.
PAUL [defensively]: Maybe I will!
KEVIN: Fine!
PAUL: Good![PAUL picks up his books and stompsout.][Sound of door slamming and PAUL sneezing.] [Shot of KEVIN looking dejected.][Sound of TV music.] INT. DAY. ARNOLD KITCHEN.[Shot of “I Dream of Jeannie” on TV.] ANTHONY: Jeannie, I want to have...[JEANNIE gets up and hugs ANTHONY.]
Mike: Okay, who turned the channel?
JEANNIE: Oh, Master! I’ve been so unhappy.All I wish to do is please you![Shot of KEVIN at kitchen table.]
ANTHONY: Jeannie, I can't figure you out. You've never behaved this way before.
JEANNIE: Oh, no, master, I only want to make you happy.
Crow: Then send master a good movie.
NARRATOR: Oh, what I would've given for one of those.[NORMA places a stack of plates on the table in front of KEVIN.]
JEANNIE (V/O): Command me to do anything, Master!
NORMA: If you guys want to eat tonight you've gotta set the table for me.
Mike: I think someone just got commanded.
KEVIN [complaining]: Mom...
Crow: (as Kevin) I wanna see Barbra Edens bellybutton.
NORMA: And I'd appreciate if you do it now. Not in an hour, not after I Dream of Jeannie, but now.[NORMA switches off the television.][KEVIN reluctantly begins to set the table.)]
Tom: Yeah, tell us about it.
NORMA: Kevin?
KEVIN: Huh?
NORMA: Are you feeling all right?
Crow: That depends, whats considered "all right"?
KEVIN: Yeah.
NORMA: Something happen at school?
KEVIN: No.
NARRATOR: I was too complicated to be pried open like that. I had my dignity.
All chuckle.
NORMA: You sure?
KEVIN: I don't think Mrs. Cooper's a very good mother.
Mike: Ok we leap from dignity to someone elses mom.
NORMA: I beg your pardon?
KEVIN: Well, it's just that she's letting Winnie go to this dance with this big eighth grader and he's a real jerk. I don't think she should let her go.
Tom: Whos jealous?
NORMA: Well, is there something Mrs. Cooper should know about this eighth grader? Does he take drugs or something?
Crow: This type of lameness doesn't come in pill form. Tom: She meant that guy Winnies seeing.
KEVIN: No.
NORMA: Well, what is it then?
KEVIN: Well, it's just that he's this eighth grader and he think she's so cool and...Winnie's very young, mom.
NORMA: I know, she is. Did anyone else ask her?
KEVIN: Well, how am I supposed to know? I'm not even going.
NORMA: Well, I guess we don't really have a lot to say about who Winnie goes to the dance with.
Mike: (As Mom) Winnies not a piece of land you can just place your little flag on.
KEVIN: I know.
NORMA: And just because you go to a dance with someone doesn't mean you have to spend the whole night dancing with them.
KEVIN: Yeah.
NORMA: The great thing about a dance is that anything can happen.
Crow: And anything can be boring with this guy.
NARRATOR: Mom's advice always followeda certain logic but somehow it was gonna take that extra maternal nudge to kick me into action.
Tom: No actual kick? Ah.
NORMA: But if you do decide to stay home, we're having company Friday night so you can be mother's little helper.[NORMA taps KEVIN's nose. KEVIN frowns.]
Crow: (As Kevin) Why don't you just shoot me now mom?
INT. DAY. ARNOLD HOUSE.[KEVIN is in his bedroom in front of the mirror, wearing a V-necksweater.]
KEVIN: [to himself] Hi. Would you care to dance?[He returns, wearing a moire-patterned shirt.]
Crow: No.
KEVIN: Hello there. I couldn't help noticing you all alone overhere. You wanna dance?[He returns, wearing different clothing.][He returns, wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses.]
Tom: Ew! Go back to Ridelle high!
KEVIN: Yo, babe! On the dance floor. I don't got all night.
Mike: Eh eh.
INT. EVENING. ARNOLD LIVING ROOM.[Shot of 45 RPM record dropping onto platter.] [Music “Magic Carpet Ride” starts.][Shot of KEVIN and PAUL on the couch, watching KAREN demonstrate dancing.]
All laugh.
KAREN [dancing]: Just let it all hang out. Getin touch with your body.
Tom: Shes gonna strip! I love this show!
Crow: Nope. No nudity at eight.
Tom: Damn.
[Cut to JACK and NORMA dance to “Girl From Ipanema”.][Cut to WAYNE dances to “Louie, Louie”.][KEVIN and PAUL shake their heads.]
NARRATOR: This was not for us, not in public.
Mike: I wouldnt admit to dancing like this.
INT. EVENING. KEVIN'S BEDROOM.[KEVIN is now in his bedroom, dancing wildly in front of themirror.] [Music “Born to be Wild” starts.]
NARRATOR: But in private...
INT. NIGHT. SCHOOL GYM.[Kids are scattered around, some dancing.] [Music: "Born To Be Wild"continues.][Coach CUTLIP blows his whistle and points toward someone.KEVIN and PAUL enter.]
PAUL: Are you sure I look better without my glasses?
Crow: As compared to what?
KEVIN: You look like a million bucks.[KEVIN smoothes his own hair.]
Tom: A million bucks in monopoly money maybe.
KEVIN: How do I look?[PAUL stares closely. He is unable to see clearly without his glasses.]
Tom: Like a geeky blur.
PAUL: I have absolutely no idea.There's Winnie!
KEVIN: Where?
PAUL: Over there, by the punch bowl.
KEVIN: That's Mr. Cutlip, Paul.[Shot of CUTLIP tossing popcorn into his mouth.]
Crow: Ug. You look at him and almost prefer Winnie.
PAUL: Oh, yeah.
NARRATOR: The goal at a junior high schooldance is to look as busy as possible without actually setting foot on thedance floor.[KEVIN throws a paper cup into the trashcan. PAUL throwshis cup and misses, hitting CARLA. She turns]
All: (Cheer and clap)
Mike: Smooth move dumbass.
KEVIN: Good job, Paul, look who you just hit.[CARLA smiles at PAUL. He stares carefully, spotting CARLA. He starts sneezing.]
Crow: Maybe if she stopped wearing Chanel.
KEVIN: Why don't you go over and ask her to dance?
PAUL: Is she looking over here?[PAUL sneezes.]
KEVIN: No, she's not looking over here.
PAUL: Good.
KEVIN: She's coming over here.[PAUL looks shocked. CARLA approaches, smiling. Paul sneezes.]
Mike: (as Jerry Lewis) OOOh Dean, nice lady coming over here. Help!
CARLA: Hi, Paul.
PAUL: Hi, Carla.[PAUL looks embarrassed. CARLA looks embarrassed.KEVIN joins their hands together.]
Tom: Look, he’s Jimmy Carter!
KEVIN: Carla, I think Paul over here has a little something toask you.[PAUL looks up in surprise.]
CARLA: Okay! [She smiles and pulls PAUL onto the dance floor. They start to dance.] [Shot of KEVIN getting punch.]
NARRATOR: It was as sorrowful a spectacle as I had ever seen on the evening news.[Shot of CARLA dancing excitedly. PAUL is barely moving,and looking toward KEVIN.][Fade to the same room.][Shot of KEVIN next to the punch bowl.][Shot of PAUL dancing well with CARLA.]
NARRATOR: But then an amazing thing began to happen. Paul actually began to enjoy himself.[PAUL waves to KEVIN.]
Crow: He’s gettin jiggy wit it.
NARRATOR: By my third cup of punch, he was having the time of his life and I began to realize what a miserable time I was having.[KEVIN walks away from the punch bowl and sits on the spectator seating.]
NARRATOR: And it wasn't just Paul. [Shotof LISA and BRAD.]Lisa Berlini was having the time of her life. [Shotof MRS RITVO.]Mrs. Ritvo was having the time of her life. [Shot of janitor emptying trash.]Even Rodney the custodian was having the time of his life. was in hell.[KEVIN notices that WINNIE enters.]
NARRATOR: And that's when Winnie Cooper entered the gym. I had never seen her look prettier than she did standing there in the doorway.Until Kirk McCray walked in behindher, then she looked beautiful. It was all so unfair. I mean, this guy already had everything. And now he had my Winnie. I wasn't gonnajust stand idly by.[KEVIN gets up and walks across the dance floor toward WINNIE.]
Mike: (as bold guy) Winnie darlin, youre coming with me!
NARRATOR:It was time to do what any hot blooded twelve-year-old guy would have done if he were in my shoes.[WINNIE half-turns.]
KEVIN: [V/O, to a CUTE GIRL standing next toWINNIE] Do you want to dance?
Crow: So he dances with an another girl to get him jealous?
Tom: Sure, that’ll work.
CUTE GIRL: Sure.
NARRATOR: Try to make Winnie as furiouslyjealous as I was. The key would be to appear like I was having the timeof my life and dance as I had never danced before.[WINNIE starts dancing with KIRK.]
NARRATOR: Apparently, Winnie was playingthe same game.[Music: “Cherish” begins to play.] [WINNIE and KIRK get close.]
Mike picks up Tom and dances.
KEVIN: Do you want to keep going?
CUTE GIRL: Sure, I guess so.[KEVIN and the CUTE GIRL dance closely. KEVIN is watching WINNIE.]
NARRATOR: It all made sense at the time.This would be the moment when Winnie's eyes met mine across the dance floorand we'd both realize we were really meant to be dancing with each other.[Shot of WINNIE putting her head on KIRK’s shoulder.][KEVIN stops dancing.]
KEVIN: Um, excuse me, I'm just gonna go outside for a minute.[KEVIN exits. WINNIE sees him leave.] [Music fades out.]
EXT. EVENING. GYM STEPS.[KEVIN is sitting on the steps outside the dance.]
NARRATOR: Sitting alone outside the school,I kept wondering what it would be like if I had asked Winnie first. Had I meant anything at all to her?[Closer shot of KEVIN looking unhappy.]
NARRATOR: How could she have forgotten me so quickly?[“Boink!” sound effect.]
Crow: Who did that?
WINNIE as JEANNIE (V/O): Oh, Master![KEVIN looks up.]
WINNIE as JEANNIE (V/O): Why so glum?[Shot changes to black-and-white. WINNIE,dressed as Jeannie, sits next to KEVIN.]
Tom: Looks like someones been reading Kevins “Wishes and desires” diary again.
WINNIE as JEANNIE: Please don’t be upset with me, Master! I only wish to please you![Sound of laugh-track, as KEVIN looksconfused.]
Mike: We’re with you kid.
KEVIN: Huh?
WINNIE as JEANNIE: I was only using him to make you jealous.
KEVIN: I knew it! You never even said a word to me all n-[“Boink!” sound effect as “Jeannie” is popped out of the scene. Picture changes back to color.][Shot of KEVIN thinking.]
Crow: Huh.
NARRATOR: Well, you can’t blame a guy fordreaming. But really, I knew I had blown it. First, I’d forgotten about Winnie, now she’d forgotten about me. I guess it was only fair.
WINNIE (V/O): Kevin? What are you doing out here?[KEVIN turns. WINNIE approaches.]
All: Nothing.
KEVIN: Nothing. [KEVIN looks up at WINNIE.]What're you doing out here?
WINNIE: I don't know.[WINNIE sits beside KEVIN. Sit a few seconds in silence.]
Tom: I was just following the script.
KEVIN: Do you like him?
WINNIE: He's nice.[They sit a few seconds.]
Mike: Thanks.
KEVIN: Winnie, can I ask you one more thing? [Music“I’ve Been Loving You Too Long” starts.]
INT. EVENING. SCHOOL GYM.[KEVIN and WINNIE are dancing closely. They each lookuncertain.]
NARRATOR: And so Winnie and I had our oneslow dance after all. But things wouldn't be the same between us. We weregetting older. And whether we wanted it or not, ...[Camera slowly pulls up and back to include more couples dancing.]
NARRATOR: the Lisa Berlinis and the Kirk McCrays were changing us by the minute. All we could do was close our eyesand wish that the slow song would never end.[Picture fades to black-and-white, then freezes. Picture cuts tocredits as music swells then fades.]
Tom: Kinda incomplete but we gotta go.
Crow: Ok.
(We see the doors opening and closing leading to the desk. Its dressed up in pretty paper.) Crow: I love spring dances.
Tom: Me too. Mike is this all you can think of to keep us awake for the last episode of Wonder Years?
Mike: I’d like you to see you do better. (Mike puts quarters in jukebox, a song starts to play.) Tom: I want to ask gypsy to dance!
Crow: No me!
Mike: No I do!
Gypsy: (snores)
Crow: Huh.
(The gang sits and stares at gypsy while she sleeps.) Mike: God I gotta envy her.
Tom: Do it later. We got sitcom sign!
