(We see the doors opening and closing leading to the theater)<BR>
<BR>
[Scene:  Monica’s Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are removing the rest of their wax
strips.]<BR>
Monica:  Ow!<BR>
Phoebe:  Oh!!<BR>
Monica:  Ow!!  Ow!!<BR>
Phoebe:  Ow!!!<BR>
Monica and Phoebe:  Ow!!!!!!!  Ow-ow-ow-ow!<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Are weasels ripping their flesh?<BR>
<BR>
(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in.  Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea
kettle.)<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Our heroes!<BR>
<BR>
Phoebe:  We’re all right.<BR>
Monica:  It’s okay, it’s okay.<BR>
Phoebe:  We’re all right.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Thats debatable.
<BR>
Monica:  We were just waxing our legs.<BR>
Chandler:  Off?!!<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Wax on, Wax off Daniel-San<BR>
<BR>
Phoebe:  For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever
experience.<BR>
Chandler:  Yeah, well I don’t think you can make that statement, unless you’ve
been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: What does he mean Mike?<BR>
Mike: You know, area?<BR>
Tom: Oh.<BR>
<BR>
Joey:  Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men,
that’s all.  I mean, come on, it’s just a little wax.<BR>
<BR>
Crow: And Godzilla used to be a little lizard too.<BR>
<BR>
Phoebe:  Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joey’s arm and puts a strip on
it.)<BR>
Chandler:  Oh, that’s mature.<BR>
Joey:  Okay, fine, so now what, I just pull it off?<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Oh Owww!!!<BR>
<BR>
Phoebe:  Uh-huh.<BR>
Monica:  That’s right.<BR>
(Joey laughs, pulls it off, then does a high-pitched whine.)<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Girly whimper.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Damn Jehovas Witness! Go away!<BR>
<BR>
Ross:  (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on!  Talk to me! 
Please!!<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the
living room.]<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Meanwhile in an another room.<BR>
<BR>
Rachel:  I can’t talk to you.  I can’t even look at you right now!<BR>
<BR>
Tom: We cant even see you right now.<BR>
<BR>
Monica:  What?<BR>
Chandler:  Nothing, nothing.<BR>
Monica:  (going over to listen at the door) Rachel said everything was okay.<BR>
<BR>
Mike: That lasted long.<BR>
<BR>
Phoebe:  (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?<BR>
Ross:  Rachel?<BR>
<BR>
Crow: He’s right.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
Rachel:  Just get away from me!<BR>
Ross:  No, it was a mistake!  I made a mistake!  Okay?<BR>
Rachel:  A mistake?!  What were you trying to put it in?  Her purse?!<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Well he was trying to put it in there he was doing something wrong.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]<BR>
Phoebe:  Whe-where did he put it?!<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Oh Phoebe, our delightful dumb-ass.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
Rachel:  Ross, you had sex with another woman!<BR>
<BR>
Mike: So did Susan!<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.]<BR>
Monica:  Oh my God.<BR>
Phoebe:  Oh, I knew something had to be wrong, because my fingernails did not
grow at all yesterday.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: (looks at his hands) Me too! I have no fingernails!<BR>
Crow: We never hand them in the first place.<BR>
<BR>
Chandler:  Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk....<BR>
Monica:  Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and
you didn’t tell us?!<BR>
Chandler:  (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Really, who got the better end of the deal here?<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
<BR>
Crow: All this jump cuttings making me sea sick.<BR>
<BR>
Rachel:  (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here! <BR>
Ross:  No!!<BR>
Rachel:  Just get out!  Now!!<BR>
Ross:  No!!  No!!  I wanna stay.  I wanna talk about this.<BR>
Rachel:  Okay!  All right!  How was she?<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Oh dont tell her that.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]<BR>
Chandler:  Uh-oh.<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
Ross:  What?<BR>
Rachel:  Was she good?<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Good at what?<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]<BR>
Joey:  Don’t answer that.<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
Rachel:  Come on Ross!  You said you wanted to talk about it, let’s talk about
it!!  How was she?<BR>
Ross:  She was...<BR>
<BR>
All: Horrible.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]<BR>
Joey:  Awful!  Horrible!<BR>
Chandler:  She was not good.  Not good.<BR>
Joey:  She was nothing compared to you.
<BR>
All: (sing) Nothinnnnggg comparessss to youuuuu.<BR>
Crow: So the guys in the bedroom are our color commentary tonight?<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
Ross:  She, she was different.<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Thats bad?<BR>
<BR>
Joey:  Ewwwww!<BR>
Chandler:  Uh-oh.<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Yep.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
Rachel:  Good different?<BR>
Ross:  Nobody likes change.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Though I like it to play arcade games.<BR>
<BR>
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)<BR>
Ross:  What?  Okay, okay, okay, okay.<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Hit em harder!<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]<BR>
Phoebe:  Should we do something?<BR>
Chandler:  Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Good advice for us all.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
Ross:  I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry.  I wa-I was disgusted with myself, and this
morning I was so, I was so upset and then I got your message and I was so happy, and all
I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.<BR>
Rachel:  Whoa!!  Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.  What time did your little friend
leave?  (Ross can’t answer that) Oh my God.  She was there?  She was still there?  She
was in there, when I was in there?!<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Ah.<BR>
<BR>
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)<BR>
Ross:  Listen.  Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant, she meant
nothing to me!<BR>
Rachel:  And yet she was worth jeopardising our relationship!! <BR>
<BR>
Crow: Double jeopardy?<BR>
<BR>
(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monica’s door, they all jump back at the
sound.)<BR>
<BR>
Mike: The papers coming to get us!<BR>
<BR>
Ross:  Look, I didn’t think there was a relationship to jeopardise.  I thought we
were broken up.<BR>
Rachel:  We were on a break!<BR>
<BR>
Tom: A kit kat break!<BR>
Crow: Stop that.<BR
<BR>
Ross:  That, for all I knew would, could last forever.  That to me is a
break-up.<BR>
Rachel:  You think you’re gonna get out of this on a technicality?<BR>
<BR>
Tom: They always seem to on soap operas.<BR>
<BR>
Ross:  Look, I’m not trying to get out of anything, okay.  I thought our
relationship was dead!<BR>
Rachel:  Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]<BR>
Joey:  Y'know what, I don’t think we should listen to this anymore.  (Goes to
open the door)<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Why not, its fun.<BR>
<BR>
Monica:  (stopping him) What, what are you doing?  You can’t go out there.<BR>
Joey:  Why not?!  (to Chandler) I’m hungry.<BR>
Monica:  Because they’ll know we’ve been listening.<BR>
<BR>
Mike: (as Monica) And she will want to hit us with a newspaper too.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
Rachel:  God!  And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Come on! Gunthers wanted you to break up from Ross all along so you can be his!<BR>
<BR>
Ross:  Come on!  Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to
make sure that didn’t happen!<BR>
Rachel:  Oh, that is so sweet.  I think I’m falling in love with you all over
again.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: (as Ross) Thats nice honey, lets go have some sex now ok?<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]<BR>
Chandler:  Y'know what, I think we can go out there.  I mean they have more
important things to worry about.<BR>
Joey:  Yeah, we’ll be fine.<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Like pollution, war,famine.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
Ross:  Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then
Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Open mouth, insert foot.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]<BR>
Chandler:  (handing Monica the wax) Wax the door shut, we’re never leaving,
ever.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: The doors hairy too?<BR>
Crow: At least it wont yell when it gets peeled off..<BR>
<BR>
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, they’re all still trapped in Monica’s bedroom.]<BR>
Phoebe:  Hi, it’s Phoebe.  Listen someone’s gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr.
Rehack, ‘cause it’s like 9:15 now, and I’m not there.<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Shes the invisble masseuse.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
Ross:  Don’t you realise none of this would’ve ever happened if I didn’t think at
that same moment you weren’t having sex with Mark?<BR>
Rachel:  All right.  Let’s say I had slept with Mark.  Would you have been able to
forgive me?<BR>
Ross:  (pause) Yes I would.<BR>
<BR>
All: (point) LIAR! LIAR!
<BR>
Rachel:  You’d be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked
with me, and made love to me?<BR>
Ross:  (less sure) Yes.<BR>
<BR>
All: (point) LIAR! LIAR!<BR>
<BR>
Rachel:  You knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were....<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Thanks for that image Rachel.<BR>
Mike: I kinda liked it.<BR>
<BR>
Ross:  (covering his ears and screaming) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!  Okay, okay,
yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you.  Because it’s, I
mean it’s you.<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]<BR>
All:  Ohhhhh!<BR>
<BR>
Crow: So sweet.<BR>
<BR>
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]<BR>
Ross:  What?  Come on Rach, tell me what you’re thinking?<BR>
<BR>
Mike: (as Rachel) You ever think that Monica and Phoebe and Joey and Chandler are trapped in Monicas bedroom and hearing every word we say?<BR>
<BR>
Rachel:  I’m thinking, I’m gonna order a pizza.<BR>
Ross:  Order a pizza like, ‘I forgive you?’<BR>
(She turns around and glares at him, he turns away.)<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]<BR>
Joey:  Oh man, pizza?  I like pizza.  (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic
message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Pizza! A novel idea! (looks at the side) LeBlanc, order a pizza!<BR>
Mike: Pronto!<BR>
Matt: Yes sir!<BR>
<BR>
Phoebe:  We could eat the wax!  It’s organic.<BR>
Chandler:  Oh great, food with hair on it.<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Just liek Jack in a box.<BR>
<BR>
Phoebe:  No, not the used wax.<BR>
Chandler:  Because that would be crazy?<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
Ross:  Hey, can I, can I get in on that?  Because I’m kinda hungry myself.<BR>
Rachel:  Fine. (on phone) Hi!  Yes, I’d like to order a large pizza.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: And breadsticks!<BR>
<BR>
Ross:  No anchovies.<BR>
Rachel:  With ah, extra anchovies.<BR>
Ross:  That’s okay, I’ll just pick ‘em off.<BR>
Rachel:  Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in
the sauce?<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Ordering pizza makes for great cinema.<BR>
Matt: Pizzas here. (Brings it in and leaves it with Mike. Mike servesthe bots himself
a piece.<BR>
Mike: That was quick.<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to later, they are finishing up the pizza, there’s one piece left.]<BR>
Ross:  You can have the last piece, if you want.<BR>
Rachel:  Well, I should think so.  You slept with someone.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Oh I see and HUH?<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, they’re all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, don’t like it. 
Joey tries some and makes a face like: ‘Hey, that’s not so bad.’]<BR>
Phoebe:  They’re gonna get through this, aren’t they?<BR>
<BR>
All: (while chomping) Nope!<BR>
<BR>
Chandler:  Yeah, come on, it’s Ross and Rachel, they’ve got too.<BR>
Monica:  What if they don’t?<BR>
(Long pause.)<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Oh well, throw Monica and Chandler together and watch them get it on?<BR>
<BR>
Joey:  You think I need a new walk?<BR>
Chandler:  What?<BR>
Joey:  Well y'know, I’ve been walking the same way since high school.  Y'know,
y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice.  I think I need
a ‘take notice’ walk.<BR>
Chandler:  Are you actually saying these words?<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Unfortunately.<BR>
<BR>
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]<BR>
Ross:  What, now you’re not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) 
Look Rachel, I-I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry, I was out of my mind.  I thought I’d lost you, I
didn’t know what to do.  Come on!  Come on, how insane must I have been to do
something like this?  Huh?  I-I don’t cheat right, I, that’s not me, I’m not Joey!<BR>
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]<BR>
Joey:  Whoa-ho-ho!  (He looks at Chandler, who gives him a ‘come on’ look.)
Yeah, okay.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: At least he realizes hes a gigolo.<BR>
<BR>
Monica:  Hey.  It’s three in the morning.  They don’t know that I’ve come home
yet.  You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.<BR>
Phoebe:  Yeah, y'know, people can be so self-involved.<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Yeah, greedy arent they<BR>
<BR>
[Cut to Living Room]<BR>
Ross:  Y'know what, y'know what, I’m-I’m not the one that wanted that, that 
break, okay.  You’re the one that bailed on us.  You’re the one that, that ran when things
got just a little rough!<BR>
<BR>
Mike: A little?<BR>
<BR>
Rachel:  That’s....<BR>
Ross:  That’s what?!<BR>
<BR>
Crow: (Sings Frank Sinatras “Thats life!”)<BR>
<BR>
Rachel:  That is neither here nor there.<BR>
Ross:  Okay, well here we are.  Now we’re in a tough spot again, Rach.  What do
you want to do?  How do you want to handle it?  Huh?  Do you wanna fight for us?  Or,
do you wanna bail?  (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible,
stupid, stupid thing.  Okay?  And I’m sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. (We
see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just can’t see us throwing away something
we know is so damn good.  Rachel, I love you so much.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Ahhhhh. Im gonna cry.<BR>
<BR>
(He kisses her on her shoulder, then her neck, then the side of her face, then just before he
kisses her on the lips....)<BR>
<BR>
Mike: All right!<BR>
<BR>
Rachel:  No Ross!!  (stands up and moves away from him) Don’t!  You can’t just
kiss me and think you’re gonna make it all go away, okay?  It doesn’t work that way.  It
doesn’t just make it better.  Okay?<BR>
<BR>
Mike: (as Rachel) But could you try?<BR>
<BR>
Ross:  Okay, okay, okay.<BR>
Rachel:  (softly) I think you should go.<BR>
<BR>
Crow: I dont have to go pee.<BR>
Tom: (crying) No! She wants him to leave!<BR>
<BR>
Ross:  What?<BR>
Rachel:  (softly) I really think you need to go now.<BR>
Ross:  (moving over to stand in front of her) Okay, okay.  This morning you said
there was nothing so big that we couldn’t work past it together...<BR>
<BR>
Mike: But now there is this mountain in the middle of it.<BR>
<BR>
Rachel:  Yeah, what the hell did I know!<BR>
Ross:  Look, look, there’s got to be a way we can work past this.  Okay, (takes a
hold of one of her arms.) I can’t imagine, I can’t imagine my life without you.  (Both of
them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. 
Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her waist) and,
and....<BR>
<BR>
Tom: (Crying) Oh Mike!<BR>
Mike hugs Tom.<BR>
Mike: There you go, cry it out little guy.<BR>
<BR>
Rachel:  (crying) No.  I can’t, you’re a totally different person to me now.  I used
to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever.  God, and now I just
can’t stop picturing with her, I can’t, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesn’t matter
what you say, or what you do, Ross.  It’s just changed, everything.  Forever.<BR>
[We see the rest of them are now crying.]<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Im gonna cry too. (sneezes) Sorry, false alarm.<BR>
<BR>
Ross:  (crying) Yeah, but this can’t be it, I mean.<BR>
(pause)<BR>
Rachel:  Then how come it is?<BR>
[Scene:  Monica’s bedroom.]<BR>
Phoebe:  They’ve been quiet for a long time.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: She threw him out a window.<BR>
<BR>
Joey:  Maybe she killed him?<BR>
Chandler:  Let’s go.<BR>
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can
finally emerge from their cell.  They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as
Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel.  Joey starts walking all hunched over and
bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]<BR>
Chandler:  (to Joey) Is that your new walk?<BR>
Joey:  (whispering) No, I really have to pee.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Let’s go.<BR>
Mike: You all right now?<BR>
Tom: Yeah.<BR>
<BR>
(We see the doors opening and closing leading to the desk area. Matt Leblanc is gone.)<BR>
Crow: Matts gone.<BR>
Tom: First Ross and Rachel now Mattys gone.<BR>
Mike: Heres a note. Sorry, could not stay, broadway version of Friends
is about to start. Huh, nice.<BR>
Tom: Oh well, Dr F is calling.<BR>
<BR>
(We see Deep 13)
Dr F: Now we return to your regualr broadcast of bad movies as scheduled. Push the button Frank.<BR>
(We see Matthew Perry enter the room.)<BR>
Matthew: Hi, I hear youre looking for a sidekick?<BR>
(Dr F pushes the button. We over hear him saying....)<BR>
Dr F: Here we go again.<BR>
<BR>




<!-- following code added by server. PLEASE REMOVE -->
<!-- preceding code added by server. PLEASE REMOVE --><!-- text below generated by server. PLEASE REMOVE --></object></layer></div></span></style></noscript></table></script></applet><script language="JavaScript" src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mc/mc.js"></script><script language="JavaScript" src="http://us.js2.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/smb/js/hosting/cp/js_source/geov2_001.js"></script><script language="javascript">geovisit();</script><noscript><img src="http://visit.geocities.yahoo.com/visit.gif?us1241086863" alt="setstats" border="0" width="1" height="1"></noscript>
<IMG SRC="http://geo.yahoo.com/serv?s=76001089&t=1241086863&f=us-w8" ALT=1 WIDTH=1 HEIGHT=1>