Mike: Ahhh, hes gonna ask him to get engaged.
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what to say. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, I don't know what to say.
Crow: Thats something new.
JOEY: Heh, what d'ya say?
Tom: What d'ya think?
Crow: What d'ya know?
Mike: Cut it out.
CHANDLER: I don't know. It's a bracelet.
Crow: I thought it was a chain for his snow tires.
JOEY: Isn't it? And it's engraved too, check it out.
Mike: (gets up and reads) There was a man from nantucket... huh I didn't think the whole joke could be engraved on that.
Crow and Tom: Let us see!
CHANDLER: [reads] To my best bud. [puts it back in the case] Thanks best bud.
Crow: Hey how come you guys don't buy me stuff like that? (Tom and Mike look at him) What?
JOEY: Put it on.
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
Tom: He soooo is!
CHANDLER: I so am.
JOEY: You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
Mike: Wayyyyy too much info there.
[Scene: A kitchen somewhere. Monica is interviewing for a job]
Tom: Kitchens! Where Americas day begins!
INTERVIEWER: Well, this all looks good.
Crow: He's isn't looking at her,right?
MONICA: Great.
Tom: Faboulous.
Mike: Wonderful
Crow: I feel like I missed something.
Tom: Just roll with it, dude.
INTERVIEWER: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
Tom: This Chandler guy is everywhere.
INTERVIEWER: Alright, lets see if you're as good in person as you are on paper. Make me a salad.
Mike: (as Monica) Okay do you want to be a Caeser or a French salad?
MONICA: A salad? Really I, I could do something a little more complicated if you like.
INTERVIEWER: No, just a salad will be fine.
MONICA: You got it.
Crow: He's gonna get it all right.
INTERVIEWER: Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
Mike: I never had to make a salad at my job interview.
Crow: Didn't you work at a cheese plant.
Mike: Yeah but we rarely made Cheese salad.
Tom: He did cut a lot of cheese while he was there though.
Mike: Tom!
Tom: Didn't you, gouda boy?
MONICA: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
Crow: Rippppppp!
INTERVIEWER: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
Tom: Uh.
MONICA: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
Tom: She does mean the lettuce,right?
INTERVIEWER: Don't, I like it dirty.
MONICA: That's your call.
INTERVIEWER: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
MONICA: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
INTERVIEWER: Are they, uh, firm?
Mike: Am I the only one here who thinks this guy is a perv with power?
Tom and Crow nod.
Mike: Thought so.
MONICA: They're alright.
INTERVIEWER: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Tom: Ewwww.
Crow: Bad tomatoes! You get a time out!
Tom: I'm outta here, I've suddenly lost all respect for taco bell. (Tom tries to get away but gets stuck over air vent. Mike rescues him) Thank you.
MONICA: No really, they're OK.
INTERVIEWER: You gonna slice them up real nice?
MONICA: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
INTERVIEWER: Aaaahhhhhhh.
MONICA: I'm outa here. [Monica leaves]
Crow: All right Monica!
Mike: You go girl!
Tom: And shes gone!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
Crow: The phone is bugged!
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
Tom: The guy who just called, can't you pay attention Ross?
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
ROSS: Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her?
Mike: Do his taxes maybe?
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
Tom: Thanks! I'm never gonna get that song out of my head now.
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
Crow: (as Ross) Rachel should be with me! In a nutshell!
Tom: Nutshells arent all that big.
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
Tom: (Sings) It's gonna happen!
Mike: What is?
Tom: We'll know when it happens.
ROSS: Wha, OK, now how do you know that?
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
All: ROCK LOBSTER!
CHANDLER: Oh, she's goin' somewhere.
Crow: Out the door, I hope.
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
Tom: Let me know when she makes sense.
Mike: That'll be awhile.
[Monica enters from bathroom after taking a shower]
Mike :Whoo hoo!
Tom and Crow look at him.
CHANDLER: Hey, you feelin' better?
Mike: It'll be a few minutes but I'll be fine.
MONICA: Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me.
PHOEBE: So, do you have any other possibilities?
MONICA: Oh yeah, well there's the possibility that I won't make rent.
ROSS: Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.
MONICA: No no no, if I couldn't pay you back right away then I'd feel guilty and tense every time I saw you.
Crow: I thought that was normal for her.
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
CHANDLER: Ya know, the man's got a point. [gestures with his arm and the bracelet falls off]
Tom: Cheapo piece of...
Crow: ...crud?
Tom: Exactly
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
CHANDLER: That thing, it's a uhh. . . yeah it's, it's a little flashy.
Mike: Yeah, if youre name is Huggybear.
ROSS: No no, no no, it's not flashy, not for a Goodfella.
Tom: Mike, so someone is gonna end up with a horse in his bed before the show is over?
MONICA: Man, man that is sharp. It must have cost you quite a few debloons.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets her parents in. They are carrying boxes.]
Tom: Its moving day!
MONICA: Hi.
MR. GELLER: Hi.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
Crow: Hi honey. Who is she?
Tom: Wasnt that guy in the movies?
Mike: Don't hurt yourself thinking about it.
Tom: Okay...hey!
MONICA: So, what's this.
MR. GELLER: Some of your old stuff.
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
Mike: (as Monica) Wow, just like I always wanted!
MONICA: Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?
MR. GELLER: Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many science trophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them.
Crow: Must not touch the all mighty Ross Shrine.
Tom: Oh heavens no.
MONICA: Oh, God forbid.
[Rachel enters with a laundry basket]
Crow: (as Rachel) Monica I would mind if you didn't throw youre reds in with my whites okay? I almost got a pink bra!
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
RACHEL: Hi.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
MR. GELLER: Well, I can't say any of us were surprised. Your parents have been unhappy ever since we've known them. Especially after that incident in Hawaii.
Mike: Ah, that thing with the tiki thing and the brady bunch?
RACHEL: What, what incident?
Tom: Is it right to bring up Watergate in the middle of all this?
MR. GELLER: Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. [shuffles her into her room]
Crow: Open mouth, insert foot.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
Mike: What is she thinking? She should look at me!
PHOEBE: Do you want a refill?
Crow: Of what?
CHANDLER: No, I'm alright, thanks.
Tom: (as waitress) Well youre not alright but thats my opinion.
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
Crow: Whoah, didn't need that.
Tom: This is what RuPaul used to be like, right?
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
Crow: (as woman) Funny you look older on tv.
GAIL: I'm Gail.
CHANDLER: Chandler. [waves his arm around, exposing the bracelet]
Mike: And the "tacky alert" alarm goes off...now!
GAIL: I, I really have to be somewhere but it was nice meeting you.
Crow: Look familiar Mike?
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
Tom: Liberace had better taste.
PHOEBE: It's not that bad.
Mike: Pheebs this is no time to lie.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Tom: Uh oh.
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
Crow: He knows his name already.
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything] That's actually good.
Tom: Joey has the right idea, let's go before he buys him matching earrings.
(We see the doors opening and closing leading out to the main room. Instead of the guys we see a very familiar face. Somehow Matthew Perry himself has been beamed up to the SOL by unknown force. He is wearing a hockey jersey and holding a stick. Tom, Crow and Mike come from behind him.)
Tom: Look! Its Chandler from Friends!
Mike: Say Mr. Perry. What can we do for you today?
Matthew: Well I thought, or TV's Frank thought that it would be cool for me to come up and show you a few things about Hockey.
Crow: Great!
Mike: And we see you have set up a hockey goal and everything.
Matthew: I'll you a quick lesson before you guys go back. You hold the stick like this.
Crow: Uh-huh.
Matthew: And then with a little flick of the wrist you hit the puck like so. (Hits the puck and it bounces off the way and knocks Servos head off. Tom without head looks around dazed.)
Crow: Has that happened before.
Matthew: Uh no in fact. I dont know what happened.
Mike: Uh we got sitcom sign! We'll deal with this later!
Move on to the second part of TOW Prom Video
