(We see the doors opening and closing leading to the theater.)<BR>
<BR>
[Scene 6: Richard's Apartment. Later.]<BR>
DEL: Hey, look. I'm gonna meet Caroline and this Peter guy in an hour and I don't have time to go to medical school, so I thought if I learned a little something about opera I wouldn't seem--completely stupid.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Just be yourself Del.<BR>
Crow: Thats what he said he doesnt want to do.<BR>
Tom: Oh!<BR>
<BR>
RICHARD: Ahhh, so you're jealous of this guy.<BR>
DEL: No, I just don't like the idea of some good-looking guy out with my girlfriend. <BR>
<BR>
Mike: Someones not paying attention.<BR>
<BR>
RICHARD: I know somebody who's getting a dictionary for Christmas. <BR>
Tom: Rats, Crow, I was gonna get you a dictionary for Christmas.<BR>
Crow: So sweet.<BR>
<BR>
SHELLEY: Del, that negativity usually comes from a spot right on the back of your heel. [holds up needle] I can release that.<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Hey! Watch where you point that thing! <BR>
<BR>
DEL: No, thanks anyway, Shelley. I'll release it myself later.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: (as Shelley) I didnt mean that!<BR>
<BR>
SHELLEY: Okay, but I know somebody who's skin in breaking out.<BR>
<BR>
Crow:Hey, Excuuuuuseee me for having sensitive pores!<BR>
<BR>
DEL: Come on guys. I've got an hour to learn an opera. <BR>
<BR>
Mike: And theres only ten minutes left in the show. <BR>
<BR>
RICHARD: Del, isn't there something else you can do to impress Caroline?<BR>
DEL: Well, I can burp the alphabet. <BR>
<BR>
Crow: A man of many talents<BR>
<BR>
RICHARD: Okay, The Marriage of Fiagaro , Act I. [begins to singing the tune of the overture]<BR>
<BR>[Scene 7: The Opera. Later.] 
[Peter is uncomfortable]<BR>
<BR>
Mike: (as Pete) Mommy can I go potty?<BR>
<BR>
CAROLINE: Moving, isn't it?<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Not at all.<BR>
<BR>
PETE: The tempo is all wrong. They call this adagio? <BR>
<BR>
Tom: Actually I call it Peanut Butter.<BR>
<BR>
CAROLINE: Shame on them.<BR>
<BR>
Crow: (As Curly of the three stooges) The nerve of them!<BR>
<BR>
[Scene 8: Richard's Apartment. Later.]<BR>
RICHARD: We're in the garden. Susanna is disguised as the countess. The countess is disguised as Susanna. And they tell it all to Cherubino, who's really a girl, playing a boy, pretending he's a girl. <BR>
Tom: Didn't Dr F make us watch this movie once?<BR>
Crow: Don't encourage him<BR>
<BR>
DEL: Wasn't there a Three's Company like this? <BR>
SHELLEY: Yeah. <BR>
RICHARD: Why? Why do I bother?<BR>
<BR>
All: (Shrug)<BR>
<BR>
DEL: No, come on. This is important. What next? <BR>
RICHARD: Okay, what next? Well, they all live happily ever after. There are two kinds of opera. The kind where they all live happily ever after,and the kind where they all commit suicide. They're not a subtle people.<BR>
<BR>
Mike: I gathered that.<BR>
<BR>
SHELLEY: Del, if you got lost, just say 'Pavarotti.' Everybody loves Pavarotti.<BR>
DEL: Let me see if I've got this right. The count and countess get together.Barbarino and Cherubino are together. Tell me again what happens to Figaro.<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Is he really this dumb?<BR>
Tom: I thought Babarino was on Welcome Back Kotter myself.<BR>
<BR>
RICHARD: He gets married. Hence the title The Marriage of Figaro.<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Doy!
Crow: You dont get a lot of doy nowadyas.<BR>
<BR>
[Scene 9: Remo's. Peter and Caroline are there.]<BR> 
PETE: Viny Bianchy. Viny Bianchy. Do you have anything from Grato Filata?<BR>
<BR>
Tom: (as Remo)Sorry we-a only have-a Pepsi and-a coke.<BR>
<BR>
REMO: You know the Friscatti region?<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Hey my dad went there.<BR>
<BR>
PETE: Yes, I took some cooking classes at the Restaurante Discolo. <BR>
Tom: The Swedish Chef says hi by the way.<BR>
<BR>
REMO: Restaurante Discolo? I don wanna fitalo. Kitafa. Bi.......[Peter and Remo converse in Italian][Caroline pretends to smoke a breadstick][toCaroline] This one is a catch. [removes the breadstick from her mouth]Behave.<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Did you guys catch any of that?<BR>
<BR>
CAROLINE: Wow, you can do it all, can't you? You speak Italian. You fix the cab when it breaks down. <BR>
<BR>
Mike: (as Caroline) But then when it happened every other block it got annoying.<BR>
<BR>
PETE: Oh, well, it was just a fan belt that came loose.<BR>
CAROLINE: Yeah but you made a new one from the driver's shoelaces. Is there anything you can't do, Peter?<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Shut up maybe. Leave town?<BR>
<BR>
PETE: Ovulate? <BR>
CAROLINE: I bet you could if you tried. <BR>
PETE: You know, Caroline, don't you kind of wonder what would have happened if he had fallen in love and maybe gotten married?<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Well the show would be Annie in the City.<BR>
<BR>
CAROLINE: I'm guessing I'd be a Valium addict. [he gives her a questioning look] What with all your free samples and all. [enter Del] <BR>
DEL: Hey, Remo. <BR>
<BR>
Tom: Hey Abbott!<BR>
<BR>
REMO: Senor Del, we're closed. <BR>
DEL: You're full. <BR>
<BR>
Crow: Of Manacotti?<BR>
<BR>
REMO: So, we're full. <BR>
<BR>
Tom: Filled to the rim with goodness?<BR>
<BR>
DEL: Look, Remo, I know Caroline's here with someone else. <BR>
REMO: Listen, I just got the Gambino family to stop eating here. I don't want no trouble.<BR>
DEL: Caroline.<BR> 
CAROLINE: Del.<BR> 
DEL: Peter. <BR>
PETE: Hi, Del. <BR>
<BR>
Mike: Okay, does everyone know everyone else now?<BR>
<BR>
CAROLINE: So you decided to come after all.<BR>
<BR>
Tom:  Hey thats private.<BR>
<BR> 
DEL: Oh, yeah. I was in the neighborhood. I just picked up the new Don Don Giovanni CD. <BR>
PETE: Oh with Sam Ramey. I've got it sitting back home in my Beamer.<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Beamer?<BR>
Mike: I think its a car.<BR>
<BR>
DEL: Well, well, I guess I should have left mine in my Porsche. <BR>
PETE: You know, Ramey is a wonderful technician, but Americans just don't get the idiomatic nuances of Italian. <BR>
DEL: Why, if I had a nickel for every time I thought that..... <BR>
<BR>
Tom: Course he would have to think first.<BR>
<BR>
PETE: Well on the other hand, Peter Seller's Don Giovanni wasa revelation. <BR>
CAROLINE: So was the Pink Panther.<BR>
PETE: Different Peter Sellers.<BR>
DEL: Really, Caroline. <BR>
<BR>
Tom: Whats with this chick?<BR>
<BR>
PETE: [to Del] Viny Bianchy?<BR>
<BR>
Crow:(as Del) What you call me?<BR>
<BR>
DEL: Ah. [Peter pours him some]
<BR>
Mike: We have switched their wine with Folgers crystals, lets see
if they notice.<BR>
<BR>
CAROLINE: It's from the Friscotti region, Del. <BR>
DEL: Oooh, how delightful. So, how was the opera?<BR> 
PETE: Well I've never been comfortable with Thomas Allen's interpretation of the count. It's spacil, and quite frankly, it lacks honesty.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Ah.<BR>
<BR> 
DEL: Well that's too bad, because honesty is so important in an opera that's not only a masterpiece, but perhaps the most successful marriage of score and libretto in history. <BR>
CAROLINE: Whoa!<BR>
<BR>
Mike: Del made sense. That's scary.<BR>
<BR>
PETE: Yes, one wonders if Mozart or Duponte imagined that when they were writing it. <BR>
DEL: Yes, one wonders.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Not really.<BR>
<BR> 
PETE: So let me ask you, what do you think of Filucio Filaneto's Figaro
?<BR>
CAROLINE: Too many 'Fs' for me. <BR>
DEL: Yeah, that guy's good, but, if you ask me, nobody does it better than Pavarotti. I mean everybody loves Pavarotti, right?<BR>
<BR>
Mike: I thought Everybody loved Raymond.<BR>
<BR> 
PETE: Well, Pavarotti's wonderful, yes, but he couldn't do Figaro. It's a bass-baritone role, and he's--a tenor.<BR> 
DEL: Well I heard him a long time ago, before his voice changed. <BR>
Tom: I thought that happened to Peter on the Brady Bunch.<BR>
<BR>
CAROLINE: Del, eat some bread. <BR>
PETE: His voice changed from a base to a tenor? You know I would love to hear that recording.<BR> 
DEL: Well you can't. It's out of print, and, ah, that's it. <BR>
<BR>
Crow: Thats all folks.<BR>
<BR>
PETE: If you say so, or as the French say: d'la fode et onde gerezeto.Ne pas?<BR>
<BR>
All: What?<BR>
<BR>
DEL: Yeah, well, Grey Poupon, Les Miserables. <BR>
<BR>
Tom: Pepe' Le Pu.<BR>
<BR>
CAROLINE: Del, you don't speak French. <BR>
DEL: No, but can you do this? [juggles some fruit] <BR>
<BR>
Crow: Fun!<BR>
<BR>
CAROLINE: Del. <BR>
PETE: As a matter of fact. [takes the fruit from Del] <BR>
CAROLINE: Peter. <BR>
<BR>
Tom: Can we all just get along withou juggling fruit around?<BR>
<BR>
REMO: Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, please! Please! This is the nocircus section. Ladies and gentlemen, Remo's is proud to present the amazingSenior Del, the amazing Senior Other Guy. [Del is balancing a chair on his chin; Peter is doing a handstand]<BR> 
DEL: Caroline, jump on!<BR>
<BR>
Crow: This is no place for that.<BR>
<BR> 
PETE: Caroline, set me on fire! <BR>
<BR>
Mike: Do it!<BR>
Crow: You know you want to!<BR>
<BR>
[Scene 10: The Streets. Del is walking.]<BR>
<BR>
Mike: (as rude guy) Hey honey, wanna ride home?<BR>
Crow: (as Caroline) Beat it! I have mace!<BR>
<BR>
CAROLINE: [Caroline catches up to her] Hey, you. Where are you going?<BR>
<BR>
Tom: (As Del) Bury my self in the deepest hole ever. Why do you ask?<BR>
<BR>
DEL: I hear Ringing Brothers is looking for a new trained seal. If I hurry, I can still make it. <BR>
CAROLINE: I think what you did was pretty romantic. <BR>
DEL: What? I made an idiot out of myself. I got kicked out of Remo's.<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Course we'll see him in th enext episode back a the restaurant.<BR>
<BR>
CAROLINE: Yeah, well, you made twenty bucks in tips. <BR>
<BR>
Mike: They stripped too?<BR>
Tom: Thank god for the cutaway.<BR>
<BR>
DEL: I bet Peter made thirty. <BR>
CAROLINE: I think you're amazing.<BR>
<BR>
Crow: Thanks.<BR>
<BR> 
DEL: Yeah? <BR>
CAROLINE: Yeah.<BR> 
DEL: So all I gotta do to win you over is make a fool out of myself?<BR>
<BR>
Tom: Hey if it works, go with it!<BR>
<BR>
CAROLINE: That's how you won me in the first place.<BR>
DEL: Hey, you're the one who slammed my coat in the cab door. <BR>
CAROLINE: You're the one who held on and let it drag you for five blocks.<BR>
DEL: It was Brooks Brothers. [they hug]<BR>
<BR>
All:Ahhhhh.<BR>
Tom: Let's go.<BR>
<BR>
(We see the doors open and closing leading to the desk area.)<BR>
<BR>
Tom: That was interesting but I never thought a sitcome could successfully incoporate the opera - jealous boyfriend story and do it well.<BR>
Mike: Yeah I see what you mean...huh?<BR>
Crow: Personally I wish we could have actualy seen the opera. (Tom and Mike look at him odd.) Bite me, I love a good crisp aria in the morning. I know you've heard me in the shower.<BR>
Tom: That was you? I thought it was a gear grinding. Oh the great and
mighty Forestor is calling.<BR>
<BR>
(We see Deep 13.)<BR>
Dr F: SERvo no amount of sucking up is gonna make up for you dumping your trash on us. Right Frank?<BR>
Frank: Hey a box of hamdingers!<BR>
Dr F: (groans) Oh push the button Frank. If you can find it.<BR>
<BR>


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