This is a monologue I wrote for Ross to go along with the Season Three finale; he has chosen Rachel's room, and this is what I hope he will say to her:

(Ross stands between the two doors, staring long at the one not chosen before entering the room on his right. He has chosen to go...)

Yeah, you're wearing the T-shirt. I see that. It really does look much better on you than it did on me. I bet you can really RELAX in it, haha...

Gee, it's all you're wearing. Yeah, you look great, but (God this is going to be hard) uh, gee, Rachel, we need to, we need to talk.

About us and about what I did, and this whole "I still can't forgive you" thing...I need to know what you mean. Earlier you were chasing me around the room and then you told me you loved me and here you are kissing me and uh...other...things...(stop, that tickles. Yes, it did bother me before. Really.) But you can't forgive me? What do you mean?

You don't know? I do. Rachel, sit down.

I think, I think I'm not going to stay here tonight... Oh yes! I want to! You've got NO IDEA how much I want to but...it just isn't right, you know? You are still really mad at me. You know how I can tell? I look at the moonlight bouncing off Bonnie's head.

Yeah, I know the whole head-shaving thing was her idea, but you knew I wouldn't like it, and Bonnie didn't. I guess because I told her I once had this thing for Sinead O'Conner. Well, it seemed the right thing to say at the time. Anyway, you wanted me to dump her so she'd be out of the picture. Weren't you the one who started dating first? Didn't you give me back my stuff so that you could "Move on?"

Why can't I move on? Why did you wait until now to tell me you loved me? I do know why! Because of Bonnie. If it weren't for her you'd still be dating guys like Tommy and making fun of *me* for being jealous! But you can't stand to see me with another girl because that's how I hurt you.

You look at Bonnie, you see Chloe, don't you? You want to punish her for being the Other Woman. You want to get even with me for cheating on you.

Rachel, Bonnie didn't hurt you. I did. I can't do anything about it now, I can't take it back, I can't even make you forget. But I can't let you punish her because you are mad at me.

I've been a ...jerk...worse than that...all year long. You don't know what you want, but I do. I want to STOP being a jerk. I want to be able to look in the mirror again without flinching. And if I stay with you tonight, what's going to happen? What if I made love to you while Bonnie sat in that room and waited for me? Isn't that exactly what I did to you? What kind of person does that make me? How are you going to see me when I've cheated on someone AGAIN? How can I face myself?

I hated knowing I was a jerk. You know what hurt the worst about the breakup, Rach. It wasn't that you wouldn't sleep with me anymore...well, yeah, that was, that was part of it...That sucked, actually. But the bad thing was, you, you wouldn't talk to me anymore, you wouldn't be in the same room with me anymore, hell, you didn't even want me to help you get a lousy tank of gas! I didn't really begin to heal until you began trusting me again...like when you let me take you to the doctor with that cracked rib...and I tried to help you with your makeup...

Well, OK, I'm sorry, eyeshadow application is not a course in the Phd program at New York University! The point is that you trusted me again, Rachel. We were able to laugh about something again. (There's a hundred of you..and I'm the king!) (he smiles) You were my friend again.

Be my friend, Rachel. I'm not willing to take the chance that this...feeling we have here, well, that it won't work out. Not when you want to tear my girlfriend's hair out. Not when you are still really this mad.

Yes, I do want to. You have to believe that. But I can't. I can live without you in my bed...I think...I hope. But I really CAN'T live without you in my life.

This embrace...it really does feel good...(sigh) I guess I need to go.

She really is a nice girl, Rachel. Maybe you could go shopping together or something. You could help her pick out a wig...

Maybe not.

No, I don't love her...I love you. You know that.

It is funny, we keep ending up just dancing around each other. Do you think we'll ever get it right?

Yeah, maybe someday.

(Very quietly, to himself.) I hope so...

(Louder) Uh, Rachel, um, I was wondering...about Bonnie's head. I think she's getting a little sunburned up there. Could I uh, could I possibly borrow...that big hat?

AH, COME ON, YOU OWE ME THAT!!!!!