Subject: Do You Need A Degree?
Date: Fri, 6 Aug 1999 04:23:48 -0500 (EST)


UNIVERSITY DIPLOMAS

Tom: Something we'll never have.
Crow: I have one.
Tom: Yeah? In what?
Crow: A bachelor in BS.

Obtain a prosperous future, money earning power, and the admiration of all.

Mike: And the fear of nations and llama everywhere!

Diplomas from prestigious non-accredited universities based on your present knowledge and life experience.

Tom: In other words, this place will accept you even if you been kicked out of tech school.
Crow: Or a beauty school dropout.
Mike: (sings) goooo back to high schoooool.

No required tests, classes, books, or interviews.

Crow: No frat partys! No kegs of beer with your name on it!
Mike: No cheerleaders with the iq of dead mice!
Tom: No TP'ng the deans house!

Bachelors, masters, MBA, and doctorate (PhD) diplomas available
in the field of your choice.

No one is turned down.

Crow: Except Mike.

Confidentiality assured.

Mike: Lets see, so Betty of Indiana will think its private while they are really laughing about her at their water cooler of choice?

CALL NOW to receive your diploma within days!!!

Tom: Or whenever the hell we feel like sending it.
Crow: And pony express too!

1-212-465-3248

Mike: Whats this, the Suede kings private line?
Crow: Yeah, he gets so many calls from babes, he has to get a whole other line.

Call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, including Sundays and holidays.

Crow: So Sundays the eighth day?
Tom: And on the eighth day God created Harley Davidson!