[Scene One:]
(Monica looks around the apartment, it was in shambles. She turned and looked at Rachel, Chandler and Ross.)
Monica: I go away one night and this is what happens! My favorite couch is ruined. A wine bottle broken and all over the floor. Can someone please tell me what happened?
Rachel:Who do you want to go first? I'm sure we all have the same story.
Ross: Not really.
Chandler: (grumbled) Doubtful.
Monica: Will someone please tell me something?I want to know what happened to cause this mess.
Rachel: Okay. I'll go first.(Rachel said stepping forward, the scene magically turns back in time to that
night. She is in the kitchen with cardboard boxes.)
I was seeing Joshua up here for a nice little dinner. I was just finishing unpacking the chinese takeout into the serving plates when there was a knock at the door.(Rachel looks over to the door.) Hi Ross.
Ross:(moping) Rachel. I was looking for Monica. Is she here?
Rachel:Shes at the cooking thing. I don't know when she will be back.I'll see you later, ok?
Ross: Oh.(slumping into chair.) Can I hang here for a while?
Rachel: No.
Ross:I'm sorry, are you having someone over?
Racehl: Yeah, Joshua.Can you please go now?
Ross: Sure, whatever. (Ross said still unhappy.)I hope you have a good time. (He walked to the door as the doorbell rang.)
Rachel: (adjusting her shirt.) That should be Joshua.
(It was Joey, he was pulling something on a string. )
Joey:Hey.
Rachel:Joey why do you have a goat?(Joey comes in.)
Joey:I'm watching him for a friend. I'm calling him Roger.
Rachel:Can't you have that over at your place?
Joey: I was just there. He threw a collosal fit. He was such a baby, I cannot believe it.So can we stay here?
Rachel: (impatiently)No! I am waiting for Joshua!
Phoebe:(sunny)Hi! Whats up?
Rachel: Whats up is that I am getting ready for a nice date with Joshua, but it seems like that will never happen.
Phoebe:Oh yeah! (Phoebe got up) I was supposed to give you a message. Joshua could not make it.(walks over to Joey) He called earlier, I thought you would have known by now.
Rachel:Doh! What am I gonna do now? (She looks around.) Joey! Control your animal!
Joey :(spacey)What? Awe, Roger! Get out of the chinese food.
(He went over and pulled the goat off the table.)
Phoebe: Look out!
(She runs out and barely catches the bottle of wine as it plummeted to the ground. It slipped through her fingers and thudded to the ground.the glass broked and the contents spilled onto the floor.)Oops.
Joey: Roger got loose again.
(Joey tries to pull the animal away from the corner of Monicas couch he had firmly in his teeth.)
Rachel:....and then you walked in.(Looks at Monica.) I still dont know what black stuff in your loafers is.
Chandler:It's my turn. My story is simple. I was at home all night till I heard the racket over here. (Chandler goes to his apartment. He sits down and faces the Tv set)This is my story.
[Scene:2]
(Chandler sat watching tv, Baywatch. He heard the door close.)
Chandller: Hey Joey. (He said knowing his friend was back there. Instead of a hi, he gets a "Naaaaaaaaaa")
Ok, ok, no need to give me attitude. (He swung his chair around to come face to face with a goat. A nanny goat in fact.) Ok, uh Joey, did you give up being an actor to become Dr Doolittle?
Joey: No. (He searches the kitchen.) This is Roger. A acting friend of mine is having me watch him while he is out of town. (Joey unwrapped a foil and fed the goat some of it.) He likes candy, thats a good sign.
Chandler: (Jumps up.) Thats not a candy bar, thats Exlax! (He points frantically at the door.) Out! Mr Roger, or whatever you called him, is not gonna lay his load all over my nice clean floor.
Joey: (protesting)But Chandler!
Chandler:Go now! I think Mr Hanky is about to pay a visit!
Joey: (looks at the goat.) Maybe Rachel will be more open to a visit.
(Chandler sighed, then sat down, then he quickly rose again. "Joey!" He sighed, then crept into his room to get a clean pair of pants.)
Chandler:...so I was not even here, I can't answer to any of these charges.
Monica:Theres been no charges made!
Chandler:I know, but they always say that on NYPD Blue.May I go now?
Rachel: Ross hasn't said his side.
Chandler: (agreeing)Thats right.
Ross:Ok. Heres my version.(He went over and sat down and faced the three.)I was sitting at Central Perk talking with Emily.
[Scene:Ross turned and suddenly he was facing Emily at their favorite table and Central Perk.]
Ross: I was supposed to come and talk to her today. She has something to tell me. (Turns to face Emily) So Emily, what do you have to tell me.
Emily: I've decided not to marry you.
Ross: (in shock) Why?
Emily: You still love Rachel, admit it. You should go to her and tell how you feel about her. I can't be with you thinking that I am what you settled for. (squeezes hand) Go to her. Don't worry about me.
Ross: (Getting up) Ok. (He leaves the coffee shop) Then I came upstairs and knocked on the door. I came in thinking it was all right and Rachel was here. (He turns to see Rachel doleing out rice into a large serving dish.) Hi Rachel.
Rachel: Hi Ross, goodbye Ross.
Ross: Gee Rachel, I get the feeling I am getting the bums rush here.
Rachel: I know. I'm sorry. Joshuas coming up here tonight. I may finally have a chance with him, like you are with Emily. Well, just without the accent.
Ross: Ok. I'll uh, let you have your nice romantic evening. (Goes to door as the buzzer sounds. Its Joey and a guest)
Joey: Hi Ross.
Ross: Hi Joey. I heard of fast food, but this is ridiculous. ( Joey brings goat in. Joey accdientally drops goats leash.)
Joey: This is Roger. He is a friends pet.
Ross: How nice. Do you know he just made a little mess over there? (points)
Joey: Jeez, it must be from that Exlax I just fed him.
Ross: Exlax? (Turns to find Phoebe) Hey.
Phoebe: Hey!
Rachel: Can you guys please leave? I am expecting a dinner guest!
Phoebe: (Shakes head) No. He called up and canceled, i forgot to give you the message. Sorry.
Rachel: What am I gonna do? (looks around) Joey! Watch your animal!
Joey :(spacey)What? Awe, Roger! Get out of the chinese food.
(He went over and pulled the goat off the table.)
Phoebe: Look out!
(She runs out and barely catches the bottle of wine as it plummeted to the ground. It slipped through her fingers and thudded to the ground.the glass broked and the contents spilled onto the floor.)Oops.
Joey: Roger got loose again.
(Joey tries to pull the animal away from the corner of Monicas couch he had firmly in his teeth.)
Ross: (turns around) And thats where we are right now.
Monica: (thinks) So this is Joeys fault? (goes out the door) Oh Joeeeeyyyyy.
Chandler: I better go talk to Monica, I pay Joeys cleaning bill. (leaves)
Rachel: That was interesting. (looks at Ross.) Oh whats wrong honey?
Ross: (sad) Emily doesnt want to marry me, she thinks I still love you.
Rachel: Oh my god. (thinks) Well you don't need her! Theres more crumpets in the bakery.
Ross: I know. But I love this crumpet. (points) I love this crumpet right here.
Rachel: Really?
Ross: Truly.
Rachel: Can we ever be the way were?
Ross: (scoops Rachel up in his arms) We can sure as hell try.
(They kiss.)
Rachel: I love you.
(We see Ross carry Rachel into the room. We hear very fainlty.....)
Rachel: Look out for the goat poo.
The end
