ARMAGEDDON

GRACE: Promise me that you are gonna come back
HARRY: I promise Grace

HARRY: You don't have to worry about me and my team. We'll get the job done.

HARRY: I've been drillin' holes in the earth for 30 years and I have never, never, missed a depth that I have aimed for. By god I will not miss this one. I will make 800 feet.

HARRY: Six billion people on the planet... why did you guys call me?

BUTCH: We're American Honey. Our names don't mean sh@t.

BUTCH: Feel that sting big boy? That's pride fu@kin' with ya see. Ya gotta fight through that sh@t.

JIMMY: So what else?
JOE: There's not much more to tell than that. Water's wet, sky's blue. An' ol' Satan Clause Jimmy, he's out there. An he's just gettin' stronger.
JIMMY: So what are we gonna do 'bout that?
JOE: Be prepared son, that's my motto. Be prepared

JIMMY: Hi. You're nobody.
JOE: Shhhh. Don't tell anyone.

CORY: Go stick your head in that speaker an' you'll be screamin play that funky music white boy.
JOE: The screamin' part I believe

JOE: Anything else Lt.?
POLICE LT: Yeah. There's a new invention out. It's called a razor.
JOE: Too risky. Might start thinkin' about you and slash my wrists.

JOE: Now this bein' the 90's you can't just walk up to a guy and smack him in the face. You gotta say somethin' cool first. Know what I mean?
JIMMY: Yeah... like "I'll be back."
JOE: Yeah, only better than that. Like if you hit 'em in the head with a surfboard you would say..."
JIMMY: Surfs up pal!
JOE: Yeah. Somethin' like that.

MCLANE: Does this thing have airbags?!
ZEUS: Your side does I don't know about mi... MCLANE!!!!!
(Crash sound effect)

SIMON: Congratulations... you're still alive

ZEUS: Zeus! My name is Zeus.
MCLANE: Zeus?
ZEUS: Yeah Zeus! As in "father of Apollo," Mount Olympus. Don't f@ck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass Zeus!

MCLANE: Hey Carmine, let me ask ya something. What sets off the metal detectors first? The lead in your ass or the sh@t in your brains?

MCLANE: Oh man I can't f@ckin' believe this. Another basement... another elevator... How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice!?

GRUBER: Now I have a machine gun. Ho...Ho...Ho...

MCLANE: Welcome to the party pal!

MCLANE: Come out to the coast. We'll get together, have a few laughs.

OPERATOR: Attention whoever you are, this line is reserved for emergency calls only.
MCLANE: No fuc@kin sh@t lady do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza!?

MCLANE: Mayday mayday! Anyone copy channel 9?

BAD GUY: You are done. No more table. Where are you going pal!? Next time you have a chance to kill someone, don't hesitate. (sounds of gunfire)
MCLANE: Thanks for the advice.

MCLANE: Yippikiyay, motherfu#@er

BARTENDER: Sittin' out here in the open just might not be a real good idea for a fella who's got as many enemies as you got. SMITH: Why doesn't everybody like me. I'm such a nice guy.

SMITH: What the hell... everybody ends up dead. It's just a matter of when (gunshot sounds).

BARTENDER: Last time I saw ya you were gonna have a talk with some fellas. Next thing I here one of 'ems dead.
SMITH: Conversation sorta went down hill.

COLE: This is a place for crazy people. I'm not crazy.
DOCTOR: We don't use that term "crazy," Mr. Cole
COLE: You've got some real nuts here.

FINGER: Oh yeah, I forgot. You still prefer your cat to the real thing
DALLAS: Well, at least the cat comes back

POLICE: Sir, are you classified as human?
DALLAS: Uh... negative. I am a meat popsicle.

GENERAL: Major Dallas, you have been selected for a mission of the upmost importance.
DALLAS: What mission?
GENERAL: To save the world.

(This isn't a Bruce sound but I liked it so much I thought I should post it)
ZORG: Your time for revenge... is at hand

© 1997 eddygris@aol.com

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