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Armies and Talk Shows
My friends and I were enrolled in a high school somewhere in Manitoba, only the school was
joined with the mental hospital. Out of my four friends, I was the only one who had to stay in the
mentally insane area with the white coated people.
At lunch, two of my friends didn't go near me, so they ate lunch in one of the many hallways
under a staircase. spaz, on the other hand, went to the hall where I was sitting down with my lunch
and ate with me. It was weird, though. I was in a straight jacket and eating my lunch by osmosis through my butt.
All of a sudden, everything changed and spaz and I were in the Canadian army. We were to
go to the University of Manitoba and guard it from the bad guys. We thought it'd be easy, but
unfortunately the bad guys had a secret weapon. It was a huge dinosaur, and when it saw us, it chased
right after us. After being chased for thirty minutes, the bad guys came and called their dinosaur off.
We were trapped near the flooded Red River in Southern Manitoba.
The bad guys had these really big guns with them, so they aimed and fired at us. spaz was
shot down in front of me and soon she was dead. They raised their guns and prepared to shoot me, but
I left the dead spaz behind and ran away from them. The bad guys chased after me, but I managed to
gain some ground when I jumped over the flooded Red River. The bad guys had to find a bridge to
cross the river. While they were doing that, I came to a parking lot and hid under one of the cars. The
bad guys ran right past my hiding place, still looking for me.
Then, all of a sudden, I was on Jenny Jones and talking about my life as a soldier and the
tragic death of my good friend, spaz. I even mentioned what a horrible life I had since I was all alone in the insane asylum at school and no one but spaz wanted to eat lunch with me. I even talked about my method of feeding myself through osmosis.
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