Oh I wish I were a little bar of soap
Oh I wish I were a little bar of soap
Oh I'd slippy and I'd slidey over everybody's hidy
Oh I wish I were a little bar of soap

Oh I wish I were a little mosquito
Oh I wish I were a little mosquito
Oh I'd bitty and I'd bitey under everybody's nighty
Oh I wish I were a little mosquito

Oh I wish I were a little English sparrow
Oh I wish I were a little English sparrow
Oh I'd sitty on the steeple and I'd spitty on the people
Oh I wish I were a little English sparrow

Oh I wish I were a little bitty orange
Oh I wish I were a little bitty orange
Oh I'd go squirty squirty squirty over everybody's shirtey
Oh I wish I were a little bitty orange

Oh I wish I were a little bottle of pop
Oh I wish I were a little bottle of pop
Oh I'd go down with a slurp and come up with a burp
Oh I wish I were a little bottle of pop

Oh I wish I were a little hunk of mud
Oh I wish I were a little hunk of mud
Oh I'd ooey and I'd gooey under everybody's shoey
Oh I wish I were a little hunk of mud

Oh I wish I were a little striped skunk
Oh I wish I were a little striped skunk
Oh I'd sit beneath the trees and perfume all the breeze
Oh I wish I were a little striped skunk

Oh I wish I were fishy in the sea
Oh I wish I were fishy in the sea
Oh I'd swim nudey nudey nudey without my bathing suity
Oh I wish I were fishy in the sea

Oh I wish I were a little foreign car
Oh I wish I were a little foreign car
Oh I'd go beepy beepy beepy down everybody's streety
Oh I wish I were a little foreign car

Oh I wish I were little girly scout
Oh I wish I were little girly scout
I'd go tramp tramp tramp through the boy scout camp
Oh I wish I were little girly scout

Oh I wish I were a little slippery root
Oh I wish I were a little slippery root
I'd sit upon the trail and knot everyone on his tail
Oh I wish I were a little slippery root

Oh I wish I were a little girly scout
Oh I wish I were a little girly scout
I'd go tramp tramp tramp to the nearest Boy Scout camp
Oh I wish I were a little girly scout

Oh I wish I was a tin of baked beans, baked beans,
Oh I wish I was a tin of baked beans, baked beans,
I'd go down as a clump, and come back as a lump,
Oh I wish I was a tin of baked beans.

Oh I wish I was a little green latrine, green latrine,
Oh I wish I was a little green latrine, green latrine,
I'd smell out all the camp, especially when I'm damp,
Oh I wish I was a little green latrine.

Oh I wish I were a little candle flame,
Oh I wish I were a little candle flame,
Oh I'd be so very bright, and I'd go out every night.
Oh I wish I were a little candle flame.

Oh I wish I were a little safety pin,
Oh I wish I were a little safety pin,
And everything that's busted, I would hold until I rusted,
Oh I wish I were a little safety pin.

Oh I wish I were a little kangaroo,
Oh I wish I were a little kangaroo,
Oh, I'd hippy and I'd hoppy inside my mommy's pockie,
Oh I wish I were a little kangaroo.

Oh I wish I were a spoon of Castor Oil,
Oh I wish I were a spoon of Castor Oil,
Oh, I'd lubricate the chassies of all the lads and lassies,
Oh I wish I were a spoon of Castor Oil.

Oh I wish a were a little water bed,
Oh I wish a were a little water bed,
Oh, I'd wobble and I'd wiggle and make the sleepers giggle,
Oh I wish a were a little water bed.

Oh, I wish I were a little onion
Oh, I wish I were a little onion
I'd yelly and I'd smelly inside everybody's belly
Oh, I wish I were a little onion

Oh I wish I were a little radio
Oh I wish I were a little radio
I'd go CLICK!