OUR LAST, BEST CHANCE TO SCREW UP OUR LINES...
THE GAG REELS
By March Hare.
Check out my Babylon 5 icon libraries and desktop themes at my homepage, March Hare's Info-Warren.
Lurkers have passed this way.
Before you read further, you should know
that I am from Australia, & at the time this occured we hadn't even seen the beginning of season four, "No Surrender, No Retreat".
A bit over a year ago, a series of bootleg NTSC tapes passed through my hands. They were copies
of copies of copies..., but on these was the entirety of season four. Quickly becoming the
envy of all my B5-watching friends, I diligently watched several episodes a night before
returning the tapes to their owner. It is taking all of my powers of restraint not to
spoil the surprises for my friends...
However, with one of the tapes I struck pure gold. It contained NOT a season 4 episode,
but the Babylon 5 in-house gag reels from seasons 1 & 2. The video quality
was bad (remember, this is Australia, on a PAL standard, and these were copies of
copies...), and there was a heavily overlaid rock track, but I dragged my PC into the
lounge room, hooked it up to my VCR, and proceeded to record & clean up whatever I
could get turn into a decent sound bite.
I present them here, as my gift to the on-line B5 community. Someone else might have a site for these as well, but in all my adventures on the 'net, I am yet to find any.
Let the fun begin...
| Bagel.zip | Centauri Dignitary: You want a bagel? Londo: Yes. Centauri: There is not a bagel in the whole quadrant, you could not a bagel. Londo: Not a bagel? Centauri: No, not a bagel! Londo: Anything else? Centauri: I could get for you a... Vir: Excuse me, as long as you're going to be out, can you.. those little potato things... Centauri: But he wants a knish! Londo: A knish would be good, and some bialy. Centauri: I could get for you a bialy. Now a bialy I could get for you. Londo: |
| Beacon.zip | Keffer: Attach homing beacon and... and... and.. and do something else... |
| Bk2camra.zip | Ivanova: My back's to camera. I can fuck up all I want. |
| Btmnia.zip | Delenn: So, tell me of home, Lennier. I have
been away far too long. Lennier: Beatlemania is back. |
| Calloff.zip | Garibaldi: Someone's trying to frame me for
the explosion in the Cobra bay. They planted a schematic of the bay and a pouch of
Centauri ducats in my quarters. Londo: Cen-tar-ri? Garibaldi: Cen-tau-ri. Londo: Po-tay-to? Garibaldi: Po-tah-to. Londo: To-may-to? Garibaldi: To-mah-to. Both: |
| Carvbone.zip | Mimbari: Because we are the same, you may ask
your questions. If you can tolerate the answers. Lennier: Who... who carved your bone? It's a fabulous design! Mimbari: Same, guy, same guy. It's just this new thing he's doing... |
| Clstuff.zip | Garibaldi: This is pretty cool stuff, huh? Watch the show- Wednesday nights, 8.00pm, Channel 17. |
| Confuse.zip | Sheridan: |
| Cwedits.zip | Franklin: O.K, 30 cwedits. Cwedits? Garibaldi: Wow, ya screwy wabbit! |
| Dcktfckt.zip | Londo: 500 Centauri ducats. That will buy you
everything you need. Garibaldi: You're being awfully generous... Londo: Can I go back and say ducats again? Fucket! |
| Ddnthnk.zip | Franklin: But if she's sick... I'm surprised
you didn't call in one of your own doctors. Lennier: Great idea! I didn't think of that. You're dismissed... |
| Dntrmbr.zip | Keffer: |
| Fatening.zip | Sheridan:Ooh, have some of that! That good fattening crap. Yeah, that's good. Ivanova: Hey, shut up! I don't need any comments on the peanut butter either. Sheridan: You looked at your butt lately? Ooh, some quiche; can't even spell it. And try that human ear; it's from a tree called Vangoghs. Very fattening. And there's some good rice to loosen the bowels... Ivanova: Shut up... |
| Fkupcomp.zip | All the profanities as they appeared on the gag reel. |
| Fuck.zip | Sheridan: Ah, fuck it. |
| Fuck2.zip | Sheridan: Ah, fuck. |
| Fuck3.zip | Franklin: Fuck. |
| Shit.zip | Sheridan: Ah, shit. |
| Shit2.zip | Franklin: Er... ah, shit! |
| Shit3.zip | Sheridan: Ah, shit! |
| Shit4.zip | Sheridan: Shit! |
| Goddamn.zip | Corwin: Goddamn it! |
| Gasup.zip | Sheridan: That motherfucker's... it's, er... gassing up to shoot! |
| Getup.zip | Warrior Caste: Get up! Lennier: No. Warrior: |
| Gkar.zip | Londo: That bastard G'Kar! He said he knew
nothing about this! G'KAR!!! Vir: |
| Godimoff.zip | Sheridan: God I'm way off! I couldn't be more off the fucking mark! |
| Gtfcked.zip | Rameirez: I'm gonna have a great dinner on
your 30 credits, Doc. Franklin: Dream On! Garabaldi: Hit the road! |
| Hyperion.zip | Sinclair: Where's the Hyperion? Ivanova: On the other side. The enemy sheeps keeping them between us... Sinclair: Well to hell with them! |
| Kerfung.zip | Sinclair: Interesting. I've heard it was the religious caste who issued the religious... kerfungabooboo... |
| Loosenup.zip | Londo: Come on, Commander. Loosen up! You're
supposed to enjoy yourself! Sinclair: Londo: Good! |
| Notclose.zip | Garibaldi: But if that's true, then whoever tried to kill her probably doesn't even remember trying to do it. And that wasn't even close to the line, so we'll do it again. One more time. O.K... |
| proctol.zip | Sinclair: Proctologist for the commander, please. |
| Prof-bad.zip | Vir: If I return without a 'yes', the consequences will be profoundly... bad. |
| Puddytat.zip | Londo: I tawt I taw a puddy tat. I did, I did see a puddy tat. |
| Ragesh12.zip | Ivanova: My god, whoever's piloting that
shuttle's a madman! Londo: Drall: I hope so. |
| Rameirez.zip | Rameirez: Rameirez, go. Computer: Lt. Rameirez, you're going to die at the end of this episode. You need to pick up your cheque now. Rameirez: Yeah, I'll be right there. |
| Satan.zip | Lennier: We're having a little trouble with Satan, but we'll be right back. |
| Sleptmaj.zip | Sinclair: So, you know this Major Kemmer? Garibaldi: Oh, yeah. I slept with her a couple of times. |
| Somethng.zip | Londo: Thank you for the sensitivity, Captain. I do not lie when I say: This could have been a major... something. |
| Stmulatd.zip | Garibaldi: G'Kar: No, your mother's! Garibaldi: G'Kar: Get out! Garibaldi: I don't think it's time for me to go. I'm suddenly feeling stimulated. |
| Thtslyta.zip | Garibaldi: Hey wait a second. Hold up. I know
her. It's, it's Lyta. Franklin: Who? Garibaldi: Lyta! Franklin: Who... who be Lyta? Garibaldi: |
| Whthell.zip | Sheridan: What the hell am I saying? |
| Wimbari.zip | Ivanova: I mean, everyone always said that it was impossible to take out a... a Wimbari Morecruiser? Shit... |
| Yomomma.zip | Garibaldi: Yours? G'Kar: No, your mother's! |
