Episode 27 In the WENN Small Hours
August 16, 1997

Thanks very much to Mike, without whom I'd never have seen this episode!

"Someone here at this station tonight will pass through the doorway between life and death," Hilary Booth predicts in "Magic." Who would have thought it is Victor who crosses that doorway? Betty certainly didn't, and as we return to that little radio station in Pittsburgh after a several month break between seasons, she is just regaining consciousness after her encounter with the "late" Victor Comstock. Betty doesn't let herself believe that this man who looks and sounds just like Victor really is him. "Victor Comstock was killed in a terrible explosion in London," Betty claims. So what does it take to convince her? Betty recounts a time she and Victor took a walk to where the Allegheny and Monongahela rivers meet and asks him what he said to her then.

"I think I said something to the effect that the confluence of the rivers was in fact a misnomer since in actuality the Monongahela circumvents the Allegheny by some 300 odd feet."

"Victor, it is you! Oh my God!" Betty cries, running to him.

Unfortunately, his visit is top secret, and Victor's plan to appear when no one is around is foiled by the arrival of Eugenia, C.J., Mr. Medwick, and Cutter Dunlap for "Agitato Alert." Every time Betty tries to talk to Victor (who happens to be hiding in his old office) again, she runs in to someone else (Medwick, Scott, Dunlap). Finally, they have some time to talk, and Victor reveals that he now works undercover for the Allies as American turncoat broadcaster Jonathan "Benedict" Arnold. Just by seeing Betty and telling her about his mission, Victor is committing treason. Bad turns to worse as Cutter Dunlap discovers them in Victor's office, but he's been out of touch with the western world for so long, he doesn't even know that Victor "died."

Betty and Victor bring Cutter up to date, but what they tell him is so outrageous that he discredits himself; no one believes he really saw Victor. Of course, Betty had the sense to kill the transmitter relays before Cutter ever went on the air, so his reputation with the world outside of WENN is still intact. After the broadcast fiasco, Medwick decides to pull the plug on "Agitato Alert," sending Eugenia back to the day shift, and the rest of the WENN staff return from the police station.

We know that Jonathan "Benedict" Arnold is really Victor Comstock, but who at WENN other than Betty also knows this? The pro-Nazi broadcast is enough to convince Jeff to go back to work for the BBC in London. Unfortunately, that means Mackie, the "man of a thousand voices" has to make that 1001 voices to cover for Jeff's absence. Hilary is not happy at Jeff's decision to go to London and attempts to keep him at WENN with handcuffs if necessary, but Hilary doesn't know they're Jeff's old trick handcuffs. Jeff leaves Hilary chained to the sideboard in the green room, wailing "Pumpkiiiiiiiin!!!" That makes Hilary's performance of "Hands of Time" a little harder to accomplish. In the meanwhile, Betty holds auditions for Jeff's replacement, but they're all terrible. She has to find someont quickly, before Mackie cracks: "I don't know how I'm doing. I don't know who I'm doing!" Betty decides they'll just have to hire the next half-decent actor who comes in. Then we see the shoes, and we start to wonder, is it. . .? The audition reading isn't half-bad; Gertie, Eugenia, and Maple are all whispering and elbowing each other. Betty asks to hear his real voice.

"Sure. Hello Betty."

Betty's expression is a cross between oh, no, and why me? "Scott Sherwood."

It's Scott Sherwood's first official day as a WENN actor, and wouldn't you know it, he shows up twenty minutes late, leaving Hilary to stall by herself on "Hands of Time." Scott then has to clear matters with Mr. Ingram (Ingram's Coffee) after he mistakenly puts a new spin on the role of the gardner. Jeff calls from London, but poor Hilary never gets a chance to speak with him. To make things even more fun, Pruitt's assistant, Miss Cosgrave, is back, and she makes a deal to supply another Pittsburgh station, WEEP, with live programming in an attempt to raise WENN's revenue. WEEP will pay WENN $500 to broadcast on their station since they wish to discontinue all original programming.

"I thought they already had," Betty quips.

Betty is WENN. That is what this episode best proves to viewers. We start off with her routine, delivering scripts and schedules without even being asked. She has a daily cocoa break with Mr. Eldridge (not that she actually gets a break) and is able to find anything, anywhere, within the station, from sheet music to lifesavers. She can deal with the sponsors complaints, creating a cover worthy of Scott Sherwood. Everyone simply expects her to do everything, it never even crosses their minds how much they depend on her. When Betty gets a telegram from the New Yorker magazine (which Gertie happens to read first) she thinks they are writing to reject the story she submitted. Instead, it's a job offer as an assistant editor; the catch--she's given only a day to make her decision.

Betty is torn between following her long-time dream of working at the New Yorker and staying with the life she's created at WENN. There are some things she wouldn't miss, like Scott's ulterior motives and his latest attempt to charm her (a trip up to Observation Point under the stars) to which Betty replies, "Me, pushing you off the edge of the precipice. . ." Not to mention the refereeing of Maple and Hilary's catfights. Mr. Pruitt attempts to discourage Betty from going to New York at first, but then he turns around and encourages her to leave. By this time, thanks to Gertie, the entire staff knows of Betty's job offer. They don't want her to leave, yet they want the best for her, so they try to show they can run the station without her. Pruitt writes scripts ("Capitalist Manifestos") and Mackie and Eugenia try to do the books. Unfortunately, they tried to do the books that Scott kept when he ran the station. Scott also tries to encourage her to take some time off. When she does (and leaves to make a phone call) Scott mutters, "Aw great. Now what the heck am I gonna do in New York?"

Scott Sherwood has trouble taking his role as Jeff's replacement seriously, much to Hilary's chagrin. He never keeps to the script and makes a mockery of drama. Hilary's at the end of her rope between that and the fact that she's never able to talk with her husband, although Jeff says he has something urgent to tell her. Jeff never does get the chance to say anything to her, important or not. When Hilary is told Mrs. Singer is waiting for her in the greenroom, she prepares to finally meet her mother-in-law, but that woman is far too young to be la mère--she's younger than Hilary. The Czechoslovakian Pavla claims to be Jeff's new wife, much to Hilary's shock, dismay, and disgust (and that of the viewers, no?). Given Jeff and Hilary's relationship prior to his departure for London, his marrying Pavla Nemcova makes no sense. The others say Pavla (or Pablo, as Scott calls her) is a regular gold-digger, working her way up to Hollywood via Pittsburgh.

Mentalist Alan Ballinger (Jason Alexander) indeed has nothing up his sleeve, as his mind is his weapon of choice. Hilary is smitten with the suave Ballinger, but Maple recognizes him from her days with the Velvet Vanities. Back then, he was comic Alan Brickston; "a laugh a minute," according to Maple. His gimmick is to make a shocking revelation about local female celebrities, and Hilary is his next target.

Betty's off to a radio conference in Utica, leaving Mackie in charge. Why not Scott? Because he's still paying his dues, and not to AFRA. Mackie turns into the "little dictator" as he is also called in "Close Quarters." When Palermo Racine and Link appear at WENN, Mackie suddenly prefers to be called Warren Smith. He convinces Eugenia to be him, and she convinces Palermo thus. Maple is persuaded to "distract" Palermo, which she does quite well. However, Palermo soon learns that Mackie Bloom is not Macknolia, as Eugenia led him to believe, but McKinley Bloom.

"I am not a girl like me." So what exactly does Maple mean by that? Mackie starts telling Scott and Mr. Foley a joke, when first Betty, then Eugenia walk in. As each lady passes, they quickly stop and feign innocence. When Maple arrives, they include her in the group, until Betty joins them. Maple is incensed that they treat her differently from Betty or any of the other women at WENN. Mr. Eldridge says she is easy to like, easy on the eyes, and by far "the easiest woman at this station." Not exactly what she wanted to hear.

Maple has to fill in on "Men in the Headlines" for Hilary, who's chipped a tooth ("Gee, that's a shame."). As Betty wants it to remain a "cultured" show, Maple ditches the gum and her normal accent for a breathy, upper-class, almost Hilary-ish tone. The interviewee, Congressman Robert Farraday, is most impressed. He takes Maple to dinner (where he's a guest speaker) and Maple is compelled to keep up the faux accent.

Congressman Bob returns to WENN as Maple, Scott, and Hilary are on the air with "Hands of Time." Mr. Eldridge says Selma (a character played by Maple) has that boisterous accent in real life, which leads Maple to take over the role of Elizabeth once Bob is in the control room. Hilary has it out with Maple, but Mapes begs Hilary to help her out. Hilary's impersonation of Maple is hilarious, but Eugenia, also trying to help, comes in with a similar accent. To make matters worse, when Scott and Betty run into Congressman Bob, Scott starts speaking in a squeaky, nasal falsetto. "I think I'm going to try very hard never to forget how you just sounded," Betty tells him.

Gertie's an author! After "seven months hard labor" she has produced "Rendezvous in Rabat," a wartime espionage thriiler radio play, starring none other than Scott...uh, Scot Sherwood.

Based on the infinitely popular 1942 film "Casablanca" (based on the unheard of play, "Everybody Comes to Rick's"), "From the Pen of Gertrude Reece" is hilarious and ingenious. Look closely--all the sets are the usual WENN sets redressed. Scot's Cafe Mirage is the greenroom, his office is, well, his office, and the marketplace is a hallway (you can see one of the light fixtures at the end). And the characters are spectacular. Here's how they mix with their "Casablanca" counterparts:

Scot Sherwood owns Scot's Cafe Mirage, a popular club in Rabat, Morocco. Lillie, Samantha, Jeff, C.J., and Franz work for Mr. Sherwood, and Martine and the French Major Peugeot are cafe regulars. Martine and Jeff obviously aren't getting along well. Scot displays many of Rick's characteristics: he plays checkers with himself (instead of chess) and never drinks with the customers. That, however, changes with the arrival of Roberta and Victor Comstock. Like Victor Lazlo, our Victor was thought dead so Betty, uh, Roberta (Ilsa) started to fall for Scot (Rick). Then Victor returned from the dead, and things got complicated.

Samantha recognizes Roberta from the old days at WENN Pittsburgh, and Roberta asks her to play that song. Samantha starts to sing "Remember When," when Scot bursts in, yelling at Samantha that she's never to play that song. Then he sees Roberta.

Roberta tells Scot she's there with Victor; Scot looks around for him, not realizing he's sitting right next to him. Commandant rrrRaus of the Third Reich arrives and makes it all too clear that Rabat is not a safe place for Roberta and Victor to be.

Scot has two letters of transmit (transit in "Casablanca"), which will allow free passage for two broadcasters out of Morocco. The next day in the marketplace, Roberta finds Scot and begs him to sell her one of the letters of transit, for Victor. Scot says he'll use both, one for himself and one for her. She leaves the decision up to him and agrees to meet him at the airport. After she leaves, Victor approaches Scot for a letter of transit for Roberta. He asks Scot to meet him at the airport, where he will bring Roberta and as much money as he can find.

Roberta meets Scot at the airport and tells Scot whe doesn't want to just leave him (they'll always have Pittsburgh). Then she learns Victor and Lillie are tied up and on the plane. She can't believe what he's done, but Commandant rrrRaus arrives before they can discuss it further. rrrRaus and Scot shoot each other, and Roberta leaves with Major Peugeot.

"No. No, Gertie, that can't be the right ending," Betty cries.

Hilary has her own ending: Martine and Jeff meet at the airport; Jeff says he still loves her and is sending Pavla off to Tokyo; Martine leaves Jeff in revenge.

Nope, not quite what Gertie wanted. So what is her riskier ending? Victor and Scot put Roberta on the plane to safety and decide to give her space and time to decide between them. Then Franz Eldridge, who was supposed to accompany her, appears; Major Peugeot is on the plane with Roberta. Victor and Scot begin the journey to rescue her, and you know, this may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

But it's still not the ending Betty wants. So how does she think it should end? With Roberta leaving as Mrs. Roberta. . .she pauses at the typewriter. . .then types eight letters. Well, what does it say? Betty decides Gertie should come up with her own ending, and leaves without telling.

Episode 41 The Ghost of WENN
December 6, 1997

Hilary receives an award, and in typical Hilary fashion, spends the next half an hour extolling her praises. The odd thing is that the publicity shots all develop with 8/13/31 scrawled on them. This prompts Betty to pull out an old radio script that used to be performed on Friday the thirteenth.

As "Don't Look Now" is being performed on a stormy Friday, August 13, 1941, strange and mysterious things start to occur--and they're all directed at Hilary. Perhaps the most perplexing are a stuffed albatross in a noose and a can of cranberry jelly.

In the late hours of WENN, a woman named Jane Smith calls the station and claims to be standing on a ledge of the sixteenth story of the Glickman building. She is disillusioned and wants to jump, so Mackie and the group try their hardest to persuade her otherwise. The result is a hilarious combination of "The Hands of Time," "Sam Dane, Private Eye," and several other WENN programs. Jane is finally coaxed back inside, and she gets to visit the WENN studios. Meeting the actors is a shock to her--they are nothing like she expected. It just goes to show the line between fact and fiction. They're just actors, and actors are people too.