NAME: Frantisek FukaThis page has been accessed approximately 
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DUCK?!
PART 1: THE EARLY YEARS:
First, there was darkness. Then, I was born. I don't remember it, because I wasn't there. But I was told it wasn't nice. Then I went to school, parents got divorced, etc... You know the drill. Nothing more happened in my early years.
PART 2: THE SPECTRAL YEARS:
In circa 1985 I got my Sinclair ZX Spectrum which, incidentally, is the best computer ever designed. I programmed some games for that one, for example...
and 
...and others, which didn't have "2" in their title. You can get whole lot of my ZX software (for the Z80 emulator) by clicking here! I also did some stuff for VIC-20, PMD-85, MSX, Sord and Sam Coupe, but I'd rather not talk (much less write) about it.
And the life went on...
and on...
and on...
and on...
...but I didn't notice that, because I still had my Spectrum.
"Where do I want to go today? Poland, Czechoslovakia, France. Can Microsoft Office do that for me?"
PART 3: THE RUDE AWAKENING:
Then, some time after I left the university (about two weeks before they'd have thrown me out anyway) and after some brief encounters with Amiga (which, incidentally, is the second best computer ever designed), I got the bad idea that you could have rather good fun with PC. So, the nice people at CYBEX Ltd. gave me a brand new PC, under the condition that I write a book about PC games and they'll publish it. It was "cutting edge dream machine" - 486SX 33 MHz (their immortal line: "There's also this thing called 'DX', but you won't need that for playing games"). Few months later, after some wading through Borland C++ documentation, it was clear that my game programming days are over. So I got a life...
(Maybe you actually think that the whole PC concept isn't such a bad idea. Maybe you even LIKE Windows. Well, that is not my problem and you will burn in hell anyway.)
PART 4: THE FOURTH PART:
Then I noticed that I can understand English and that I don't like the way movies are translated into Czech. So I started translating for the film distributors (have a look at the Czech versions of "The Rock", "Independence Day" or "Star Trek: First Contact"), which led to my work for the Cinema magazine. Actually, I now have great part-time job: seeing almost all the recent movies (including those that are never released over here) AND getting paid for it! I like all kinds of movies, from "Nightmare Before Christmas" to "Dead Ringers" (which, incidentally, is the best movie ever made), from "Tetsuo" to "Field of Dreams" (which, incidentally, is the second best movie ever made). I also collect soundtracks and I've come to the objective conclusion that John Williams is God. I composed music for several computer games and some commercials, but I still haven't done single soundtrack for any $100,000,000 Hollywood movie - don't ask me why.
PART 5: THE FUTURE:
The Future. Mystical word with mystical meaning. What perils await us in future times? What events will afect our lives? What will happen in days, years and centuries to come? Will mankind conquer other Solar systems? Will Pauly Shore win the Oscar for "Hamlet"? Will hedgehogs inherit the Earth? Is Jesus really hiding in Paraguay with Elvis? We may never know but we can watch the signs and use SCIENTIFIC TOOLS AND METHODS. According to SOPHISTICATED DIGITAL MACHINERY the near future looks somehow like this:
And now, something for all of you who think that the world is rotten, people are stupid, obnoxious and daft and the future is darker than this page... Don't despair! Im not as sick as this page could imply. In fact, there is a deeply personal message I've got especially for you, to cheer you up, give you a new meaning of your life and cast a new light on your existence!
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off.
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