Episode 117

Filmed on: November 14, 1998
Original airdate: January 6, 1999
Contestants: Wayne Brady, Denny Siegel, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles

Overview

Questions Only: in a soap opera
Song Styles: Wayne sings to Shiela the I.N.S. attorney in gospel style
News Flash: Denny and Ryan anchor, Colin is at a beach dance party
Sound Effects: to Ryan's sounds, Colin is an Olympic gymnast
Weird Newscasters: Denny hosts, rumors have been spread about Colin's and
  Denny's date, Wayne is in busy traffic, Ryan is Frankenstein's monster
  looking for a mate
Scene to Rap: during an earthquake
Hoedown: Wayne, Drew, Colin, and Ryan sing about blind dates

Did you notice...

Scott Robinson:
   ...Drew does another round of introductions based on commercial slogans,
      as he did in 108?
   ...how poorly Colin chose an Ebonic name when Wayne said he was Colin's
      son?
   ...the uncomfortable silence after Drew announces the points in questions?
   ...Drew doesn't know what I.N.S. stands for, either?
   ...the audience is horribly offbeat clapping to Wayne's gospel song?
   ...Shiela tries to clap along as well, but laughs too hard?
   ...Drew unneccessarily buzzes Song Styles?
   ...Drew was wrong: while most of Colin's Sound Effects events were track
      and field, the first one was gymnastics?
   ...there's a different Whose Line is it Anyway? logo on the monitor than
      there was in 105?
   ...Drew taps his buzzer along with the beat in Scene to Rap?
   ...although Denny's at the desk, she doesn't get to choose the Hoedown
      suggestion?
   ...Drew rhymes "out" with "out"?
   ...the censors managed to overpower the unison line of the Hoedown --
      everything, that is, except for Wayne's carrying voice being picked up
      by the audience microphones?

References

Starburst(?) (commercial)
   - "Bursting with flavor"
M&M's (commercial)
   - "Melts in your mouth, but not in your hand"
Maxwell House (commercial)
   - "Good to the last drop"
? (commercial)
   - "Goes down easy"
"Diff'rent Strokes" (TV)
   - "What you talkin' about, daddy?"
"L.A. Law" (TV)
   - Susan Dey plays an attorney

Behind the scenes

Vanessa, who attended these tapings with other fans of Whose Line is it
Anyway?, took notes on every game played at these tapings. Here are some more
fun facts about what we didn't see...

It took a good deal of effort to produce the one Blind Date Hoedown you saw.
Originally at the taping, Howedown was performed by Wayne, Denny, Colin, and
Ryan. The topic was yardwork. Wayne's verse contained a weed joke, and Denny
sang a verse about grass. The Hoedown was stopped at this point, prompting
Colin to say, "Thank you." The new topic selected for the Hoedown was blind
dates. Remember, this is still with Wayne, Denny, Colin, and Ryan. After the
performers sang their verses, they were asked to redo the Blind Date Hoedown
to give the editors something to choose from. During this Hoedown came
Colin's verse about dating Roseanne.

Later, when they were filming the various games Drew played, another Hoedown
was scheduled, with Wayne the one sitting out at the desk. The topic this
time was a job interview. Denny, Drew, Colin, and Ryan performed it without
incident.

For some reason, the producers wanted ANOTHER Hoedown with Drew in it, so
once again the game was played, this time with Denny at the desk. The topic
was once again blind dates, which gave us the verses that made it to air from
Wayne, Drew, and Ryan. And you thought Hoedowns were simple.

Reviews

Scott Robinson: This episode had me laughing the most out of any episode yet!
   I would never have expected Drew to participate in a Hoedown -- my only
   beef was that he should have said everybody won and make it a five-person
   Hoedown. The only game that didn't meet the high level of comedy the other
   games produced was Weird Newscasters. I just can't warm up to this game,
   which they seem to use a lot.

Episode transcript

DREW:  Good evening, and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway?. On tonight's
show: Bursting with flavor, it's Wayne Brady. Melts in your mouth, but not in
your hand: Denny Siegel. Good to the last drop: Colin Mochrie. And goes down
easy: Ryan Stiles. I'm your host, Drew Carey, come on down, let's have some
fun. Hello. Hel-lo. Hello, how you doing, welcome to Whose Line is it
Anyway?, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. If
you're never saw the show before, what happens is our performers are going to
come out here and they're going to make up everything right off the top of
their heads, right in front of your very eyes, based on suggestions that are
written on these cards, which they've never seen before, and based on
suggestions from the audience. And then I give them points. I don't know why,
'cause the points don't mean a thing, 'cause I just pick whoever I like at
the end of the show. They get to win and then they get to do a little
something special with me. Yeah, that's what I said, right here on network
television. I don't care who knows it, either. Let's start with a game called
Questions Only. This is for all four of you. Denny and Wayne, you're going to
start it off. They're going to start a scene, but they can only ask
questions, that's all they're allowed to do is ask questions. If they go
wrong, I'm going to buzz them out, the other person will take their place.
The scene is you're in a daytime soap opera. And it's questions only, so go
ahead.
WAYNE: Have you seen my heart?
DENNY: Don't you recognize it crushed in my lily-white fist?
WAYNE: Why did you leave me, Gloria?
DENNY: Why did you tell me my twin sister was prettier?
WAYNE: Why don't you work out so you look like her?
(Denny chuckles, while Wayne pretends to uncork and drink wine)
DENNY: How does this feel? (she winds up and punches Wayne)
WAYNE: Ooh... ow. (buzzer)
RYAN:  Are you Mrs. Phillips?
(Denny laughs and walks off) (buzzer)
(Colin walks on)
RYAN:  Are you Mr. Phillips?
COLIN: Who's asking?
RYAN:  Are you aware you're going to be a father?
COLIN: Who's the mother?
RYAN:  You don't know?
COLIN: Don't you know I've had a wide experience of women?
RYAN:  Are you Dutch?
COLIN: Why should that be taken into account?
(Ryan laughs and exits) (buzzer)
WAYNE: Would you believe that I'm your son?
COLIN: Do you mean from that one night of passion with Gerelda?
WAYNE: What you talkin' 'bout, daddy?
COLIN: Why don't we stop playing around, and tell me what you want?
WAYNE: Care for a back rub?
COLIN: What do you think you're doing?
WAYNE: Don't you want a real man in your life?
COLIN: Why not?
(Wayne smiles and says nothing) (buzzer)
RYAN:  Don't you know you have to leave this town, Gary?
(Colin laughs and leaves) (buzzer)
(Denny enters)
RYAN:  Did you hear Gary left?
DENNY: Didn't you -- (buzzer)
DREW:  Too late. Took you too long. Okay, that's it. (buzzer) Why should I
give you points for that? Would a thousand be too many? (uncomfortable
silence) Questions only. Okay, let's go on to a game called Song Styles. This
is for Wayne, with the help of Laura Hall on the piano, Laura Hall! Okay. So
let's wander up into the audience, let's pick out somebody. Hi, what's your
name?
SHIELA: Shiela.
DREW:  Shiela. Nice to meet you, Shiela, what do you do for a living?
SHIELA: I'm an attorney for the I.N.S.
DREW:  You're an attorney for the I.N.S. All right, sí sí. Come on here,
Shiela, say hi to Wayne Brady. Wayne, this is Shiela.
WAYNE: What's the I.N.S.?
DREW:  The internal...
SHIELA: Immigration and Naturalization Service.
DREW:  Immigration and Naturalization Service.
WAYNE: Oh, sí sí.
DREW:  Yeah. Despite, yeah. Despite her appearances, she claims to be an
attorney.
SHIELA: I'm an attorney.
DREW:  She's an attorney, yeah, so is Susan Dey.
WAYNE: Wow.
DREW:  Every good-looking woman's an attorney. Okay. Okay, Shiela, you're an
attorney, I believe you. And she works for the I.N.S. And you're going to be
singing a song to her in a gospel style. Like a gospel song. So Shiela,
I.N.S., go ahead.
(music begins)
WAYNE: Whoo. Oh Lord.
       Now your love is a thing that I want in order
       But you keep stopping me from crossing your border
       Why don't you let me into your place?
       Oh...
       (The music speeds up. Wayne starts clapping.)
       Come on, everybody.
       I'm trying to make my way into your country
       But all your friends, they sought to hunt me
       I want to get with you, because you've got experience
       Oh, but when I migrate, why don't you come to my defense?
       Hey, I'm gonna run for your love
       I'm gonna swim for your love
       I'm gonna swing for your love
       I'll run for your love
       Because the dogs and guards can't stop me from jumping your fence
       I-yah, I-yah
       Your love you can't deny
       Oh, nah nah
       No, your love you can't deny, oh Lord
       Please help me get on in, oh
       Hola. Welcome.
(buzzer)
DREW:  Oh!
WAYNE: Thank you.
DREW:  Yeah! Yeah! Shiela! Thank you very much, that was great. Shiela! Oh,
man. Thank you Laura, thank you Wayne. Hey. "Can't stop my love from jumping
your fence."
WAYNE: That was a true story, too.
DREW:  That what that's...
WAYNE: Hola, mamasita. Te quiero.
DREW:  That's worth a million points for the next show.
WAYNE: Thank you.
DREW:  Now let's go on to a game called News Flash. This is for Ryan, Denny,
and Colin. What's going to happen is Ryan and Denny are going to be two
anchors in a news studio. Colin's going to go out to be in the field to be
the field reporter. He's going to stand in front of this green screen here in
the studio, as you can see, it's just green. He can't see what's behind him,
even if he looks right at it, 'cause it's only going to be green to him. But
we can see what's going to be on it here in the studio and on these monitors,
and he has to try to guess what it is. Ryan and Denny, you're trying to give
him hints, and whenever you're ready, go ahead. Good luck to you, Colin.
RYAN:  So a little breeze on it doesn't bother you?
DENNY: No, not at all, I like it.
RYAN:  Oh, hello. We interrupt this show for a special news bulletin.
DENNY: Yes, we've got Colin Mochrie out in the field, reporting live. Colin,
how are the conditions out there?
(Colin is in front of a black and white teenage beach dance party scene)
COLIN: Well, as you can see, things have just gone beyond all... I mean,
look! It's unbelievable what's happening here. I am afraid for my life.
RYAN:  Colin, Colin, do you have any idea how this whole thing started?
COLIN: Well, it started at a revival of "The King and I" starring Jerry
Springer. From then it just spilled out onto the streets, and chaos, chaos,
chaos!
DENNY: Now, Colin, I notice that you're somewhat appropriately dressed, are
they accepting you as one of their own?
COLIN: Yes, I've had no problem fitting in.
(The shot in the scene behind Colin of a woman's lower half dancing places
her rear next to Colin's head. Colin dances and waves to people.)
COLIN: They seem to think I'm one of them.
DENNY: Really. Now, I've got to ask you, is it difficult for you to keep your
professionalism in the midst of all of this that's happening here? Do you
feel tempted to join in?
COLIN: I am so tempted. The only thing that's keeping me back is this
incredible sense of dedication that I have. Or I'd be right in, look. Right
there.
(Colin points behind him, directly at a woman's cleavage)
COLIN: I'd be right there. Right there, right now. But I'm here to give the
news, that's what I'm here for.
RYAN:  Colin, I understand, I understand there's a twist to this story?
COLIN: Yes, there is.
RYAN:  What would that be?
COLIN: You want to know what it is?
RYAN:  Yes.
COLIN: Well, of course, all these people are from the senate.
RYAN:  Really?
COLIN: That's the twist.
RYAN:  Colin, I know this must be a real beach for you to be out there, and
we appreciate all the information you've given us.
COLIN: Yes.
RYAN:  Colin, when do you plan on leaving?
COLIN: Well, right after the tournament.
RYAN:  What tournament is that?
COLIN: That would be the naked volleyball.
(buzzer)
DREW:  Want to give it one more clue for Colin? He's so close.
RYAN:  I understand they've caught some fish in Annette?
COLIN: Yes. And I tell you, that it was bingo at this beach party.
DREW:  Yes! Hey! We're going to have a commercial, when we come back, we'll
have lots more Whose Line is it Anyway?, so don't go away!

DREW:  Hey, welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway?, the show where
everything's made up and the points don't matter. Hey, if you're keeping
score at home, don't forget, send in your name and address, we're having a
drawing to see who gets to watch the next episode of Whose Line is it Anyway?
in the comfort of their own home. Could be you. Now let's go on to a game
called Sound Effects. This is for Colin and Ryan. Colin's going to improvise
a scene, Ryan's going to provide the sound effects for him. Here's a
microphone. The scene is you're a... huh. You're an eastern European Olympic
gymnast and you need a perfect 10 on all your routines.
(Colin breathes deeply while pumping his arms. He glances to one side, opens
a bottle, pours out some pills, swallows them, and begins flexing once more.
You can hear the boinging sound of his muscles growing as he prepares for the
first event, running with his legs rubbing together. Colin rubs some liquid
substance into his hands and smooths his hair back. He jogs to the starting
line, when his national anthem plays, causing him to stand at attention with
hand over heart. The crowd cheers. Colin limbers up, and does a very
complicated rountine on the rings. He dismounts (moving his feet when he
lands, which would normally cost him points) and throws his hands in the air.
He gives the thumbs up and moves over to pick up a discus. He practices the
arm motion a couple times, spins around and around, and throws it. It lands
with a thud. Colin looks down half a foot in front of him, and picks the
discus back up. The national anthem plays again, causing him to place his
hand over his heart. Colin puts the discus down, and picks up a pole. He
immediately hears a snarling, growling noise, and runs from it, pole in hand.
He places the pole in its mark, and rises into the air. However, he doesn't
let go of the pole, causing him to sway back and forth in the air, grabbing
the pole with both hands. Some pigeons coo around Colin's head, as he tries
to swat them away. As Colin shinneys down the pole, his national anthem plays
once more, causing him to pause halfway down and place his hand over his
heart. He reaches the ground and jogs over to the starting line of a race. He
crouches into position, when the firing pistol goes off. Colin grabs his
shoulder in pain.)
(buzzer)
DREW:  I'd love to give you a lot of points for that, but I distinctly said
"gymnast," and all your things were track and field.
(Colin pretends to slam both of his fists down. Ryan laughs and pantomimes
Colin running with the pole, bouncing in his chair.)
DREW:  But hey, nice try. And now let's go on to a game called Weird
Newscasters. This is for all four of you. Denny, you're going to be the
anchor of a news show. A local news show. Colin, Wayne, and Ryan are going to
be the helpers on the show. Colin, you're the co-anchor, and Denny has been
spreading rumors about a disastrous date with you. Talking bad about you
behind your back. Wayne, you're doing sports, and you're caught in the middle
of a busy freeway. And Ryan, you're the weatherman, you're Frankenstein's
monster and you're looking for a mate. I don't know why we came up with a
big, tall scary guy for you to play, but hey. That's how it happened. So
Denny, whenever you hear the music, go ahead and start.
(news music plays)
DENNY: Hello, and welcome to the 6:00 evening news. I'm your anchor, Fifi
Leadbottom, and my therapist is on vacation. Our top story tonight:
Researchers working at two major universities have discovered that nobody
cares anymore if you work at a major university. And now for more news, over
to my co-anchor, Ripley Back. Ripley?
COLIN: This just in: Ten out of ten men need a second chance. A second
chance, that's all I need. I didn't know your shirt was flammable. (crying) I
didn't know. Oh, God.
DENNY: Ripley, you need a breath mint, get a hold of yourself. Moving on now.
We're going over to our sports guy, it's Ripley Arm. Ripley.
WAYNE: (driving) Yeah, thanks. Thanks. Right now, the state of the whole
basketball thing is nothing's moving. Nothing at... (he rolls down his window
and sticks his head out) Nothing at all! What? Your mama! (he gets out of his
car) What? What? Huh? What? I will kick... uh-oh. Uh-oh. Okay. (he tries to
get back in his car) Because a lock-out, lock-out, damn, I'm locked out.
Fine. (a car zooms by him) Okay, look, I'll get right back to you, it appears
that nothing's moving at all right now, and... aaahhhh!
(Wayne looks behind him and gets hit by a car. His body is then run over a
couple more times.)
DENNY: Well, that's going to be the end of his sportscast for a very long
time.
COLIN: My mother had a really nice time, why don't you just accept her?
DENNY: Speaking of a nice time, it's a nice time to go over to our weather
guy, Just Ripley. Just?
RYAN:  Uhhh... Rain on weekend. (he gets a sensation from down below)
Ohhhhhh. Ohhhh... (he lumbers toward Colin) Ughhh.
(Ryan walks out toward the audience, making various grunting sounds. He
reaches a man in the front row and kisses his bald head. Ryan takes the man
out of his seat and leads him by the hand over to the green screen. When the
man resists, Ryan raises his voice and continues to pull the man. Ryan takes
the man behind the green screen, and hides the front half of his body behind
it as well. With his hand stabilizing himself against the green screen, Ryan
wiggles about, at one point sticking his head out to convey emotion. A few
seconds later, Ryan and the man emerge, Ryan content and the man walking
away, shaken. Ryan writes something down and gives it to the man.)
RYAN:  Call me. Call me.
DENNY: And that wraps it up for the 6:00 news. Join us later for news at
eleven. Thank you, good night.
(Denny and Colin argue during the closing theme. The performers then return
to their seats.)
DREW:  Oh, a thousand points each. One point for every night I'll be dreaming
of that. Let's go on to a game called Scene to Rap. This is for Wayne and
Denny, and then Ryan and Colin will join them later. Wayne and Denny, you're
going to make up a scene, and you're going to be rapping throughout the whole
scene with the help of Laura Hall on the piano. Laura Hall. What I need from
the audience is a suggestion for a kind of a disaster you might make a movie
about.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Earthquake.
DREW:  Earthquake. Earthquake's the first one I heard, we'll take earthquake.
(audience continues to yell suggestions)
DREW:  Got it. Got earthquake, thank you. Earthquake it is. Okay, let's hear
the earthquake rap.
(rap music begins)
(Wayne is sleeping. Denny wakes him and he grunts and hits the alarm to the
rap beat.)
DENNY: Listen to me, baby.
       Now, I know with you my love is complete
       You make the earth move under my feet
       You're a big handsome man and you're a cop
       But baby, the earth is moving and it just won't stop
       Now I don't know what is going on
       Wake the daughter, wake the son
       Something bad is coming 'round
       Look, there's a big old crack in the ground
       Woah!
(they both start dancing)
WAYNE: Say what? There's a crack, oh. There's a crack.
DENNY: Crack. There's a crack. Not the usual kind of crack.
WAYNE: Now wait a second girl, I hear what you say
       Better grab the kids, get under the doorway
       You better get it, get there fast
       Or else a big rock will fall on your ass
       Better move, move, move and slip
       Because you better 'cause the ground will break
       Oh that is right, and that is that
       Did you know earthquakes can be predicted by cats?
(Ryan enters)
WAYNE: Who are you? Oo oo, what do you do?
RYAN:  I know you're running, there's a lot at stake
       Because the ground just started to shake
       I'm okay, I'm not sunk
       I ain't moving 'cause I'm drunk
WAYNE: He's drunk.
DENNY: Yo, get under the door jamb.
COLIN: Stand back everyone, only one chance
       I am the lord of the riverdance
       I'll do something to stop the vibrations
       By doing the dance of the Celtic nations
(everybody riverdances)
(buzzer)
DREW:  Thank you. That was great. Hey, listen. We're going to go to
commercial right now. When we come back, we're going to find out who the
winner is, they get to do a little something special with me. So don't go
away, more Whose Line right after this.

DREW:  Hey, welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway? Tonight's winner is
Denny Siegel. Denny Siegel's the winner. What we're going to do for you
tonight is, since she's the winner she gets to sit down and the rest of us
have to do our favorite Whose Line game, Hoedown. Yeah. With the help of
Laura Hall on piano. What I need from the audience is a suggestion of a major
life event.
(audience yells suggestions)
DREW:  Blind dates. Blind date we're going to use. Okay, Laura Hall, whenever
you're ready, let's hear the Blind Date Hoedown.
(music begins)
WAYNE: So there I am, I got a message in a bottle
       I've won a free date with a tall supermodel
       She was about six foot five, but the date was really lame
       I didn't have a good time 'cause we played The Crying Game
DREW:  I used to hate blind dates, they never did work out
       They'd give me a kiss on the cheek and then they'd throw me out
       Nowadays my blind dates go off without a hitch
       I know I'm not good-looking, but I'm really really rich
COLIN: I had a blind date, it really was the pits
       Nothing worked all night, I kept getting hit
       She really was abusive, man oh man oh man
       But what else can you expect when your blind date is Roseanne
RYAN:  I had a blind date just the other night
       The type of girl that really shouldn't be in the light
       She wasn't really attractive, she was kind of bland
       But she still beat the hell out of using my right (censored)
DREW:  Good night everybody, thanks for watching Whose Line is it Anyway,
we'll see you next time.


(This episode capsule was compiled by Scott Robinson. Copyright 1999. All
titles of games and related situations are trademarks and the property of
Hat Trick Productions, Warner Brothers, and/or ABC and no infringements on
copyright are intended. Watch the show. It's better than reading about it.)