Episode 235
Original airdate: April 20, 2000
Performers: Wayne Brady, Karen Maruyama, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
Overview
Film, Theater, and Television Styles: Ryan is a WWII pilot, trusting his
girlfriend (Karen) to injured co-pilot Colin -- John Wayne, gorilla
theater, "Pokémon," monster movie
Weird Newscasters: Colin hosts, Karen is a frisky granny, Wayne is an inept
fireman, Ryan is a matador
Song Styles: Wayne sings to Bob the pastor in a James Bond theme
Party Quirks: Karen hosts, Wayne is "Cops," Colin thinks Karen is a vending
machine, Ryan is a cat going through its lives
The Millionaire Show: Colin hosts, Ryan is the contestant, Karen is in the
audience, Wayne is on the phone -- all as 1930's gangsters
Hoedown: Wayne, Drew, Colin, and Ryan sing about the wife
Credits: Wayne and Karen are two WLiiA? fans waiting for the stars at the
stage door
Did you notice...
huzlinefan:
...the abundance of the word 'god' in this episode?
...Chanel from 217?
...Drew mispronounces 'Pokémon?'
...Ryan forgets the scene in Film TV and Theatre Styles? (the scene says
that Ryan is saying good bye to Karen, who is being watched by Colin,
but Ryan tells her that Colin is coming on the mission with him)
...Karen usually makes up names for the other performers (Chip, Charlie,
Frank)?
...Wayne's fireman bit has nothing to do with the sports report?
...Bob ends up being the hero instead of the villian in his song?
...Wayne tries to give Karen a clue by mentioning Reese's Pieces?
...Ryan dies five times (that is, if the bull killed him)?
...We only see Ryan enter five numbers on the rotary phone (?)
...Wayne uses the same sheep voice from 217? (see below)
References
(courtesy of huzlinefan)
James Bond (series of movies)
- Titles used in intros
- Wayne's song
Pokémon (TV)
- One of the Film TV and Theatre Styles
- Charmander, JigglyPuff, and Pikachu arre Pokémon characters
Les Miserables (book)
- Pronounced "Lay Miz ur ob luh," Colin turns it into his Weird Newscasters
name by pronouncing it as "Les."
COPS (TV)
- Wayne's Party Quirk
Reese's Pieces
- Candy sometimes found in a vending macchine, Wayne mentions it in Party
Quirks
Diagnosis Murder
- Drew pokes fun at the older target auddience of the show
The Drew Carey Show (TV)
- Drew mentions "...the kiss that Colin gave [him] on the Drew Carey Show..."
This is a reference to the 1999 live episode of the Drew Carey Show. Colin
played a character who was secretly in love with Drew, and by the end of
the episode, Colin's character got to kiss (clear lip-on-lip contact) Drew.
Since the show was done live, it was done in three different time zones,
so, technically, Colin actually kissed Drew three times. Drew also kissed
Colin in the Pacific version of that show, and Ryan kissed Colin in episode
217 (same taping as 235). Anything for a laugh, I suppose.
Déjŕ vu
(huzlinefan)
226 - Drew hears 'surfing' as a suggestion in Film TV and Theatre styles but
doesn't use it
Miscellaneous
(huzlinefan)
Seattle, Washington?
---------------------
Most likely an inside joke that would be explained by one of the unaired
games from this taping...unless Drew was just making fun of Ryan's home city.
The Edward G. Robinson Sheep
---------------------------------
There's no real way to tell (besides finding someone who went to this taping)
which came first: Wayne's Edward G. Robinson bit in The Millionaire Show, or
the bit from Scenes From a Hat in episode 217 ("Circus acts that didn't make
it"). My guess is, the one in this episode came first, then the 217 line was
inspired by this.
Accidentally married Dennis Rodman
-------------------------------------
Colin may have been making reference to the time Carmen Elektra and Dennis
Rodman were supposedly drunk and married each other.
(Scott Robinson)
Chaucer isn't a playwright, he's a poet, most famous for his "Canterbury
Tales."
The capital of Paraguay is really Asunción. Of course, you already knew that.
Really, we Whosers don't act the way Karen and Wayne portrayed us in the
credits. We're usually more annoying.
Episode transcript
DREW: Good evening everybody and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" On
tonight's show...'the man with the golden gun,' Wayne Brady! 'From Russia
with love,' Karen Maruyama! 'For your eyes only,' Colin Mochrie! And 'the spy
who loved me,' Ryan Stiles! Hey, and I'm your host Drew Carey. Come on down,
let's have some fun. Hello. Hi everybody. Welcome. Welcome to "Whose Line is
it Anyway?", the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter,
yeah that's right, the points are, uh...they don't mean a thing. They're
useless. Just like the lottery ticket in your pocket. And, uh...if you never
saw the show before, what happens is we have all the performers come up,
they're gonna make everything up, right off the top of their heads, right in
front of you. And then we give 'em points. I don't know why, it's a little
gag to, uh, tie the show together. And at the end of the show, we, uh, pick a
winner, the winner gets to do a little something special with me, and that's
why we'll never win an Emmy. So, uh, let's get, uh, things going, uh, with a
game called Film, TV, and Theater Styles. This is for Ryan, Colin, and Karen.
Uh, what's gonna happen is they're gonna act out a scene. but I'm gonna make
then adopt different styles, and what I need from the audience, is uh, some
styles of film, styles of television, or styles of theater that you enjoy.
(audience yells out various suggestions, including monster movie, horror
movie, and kabuki)
DREW: Monsters. John Wayne is good.
('gorilla theatre' is heard from the audience)
DREW: Surfing. Gorilla theatre. Uh, one more, a couple more?
(someone suggests 'Pokémon')
DREW: Infomercials. Okay, that's plenty. We got a lot. Uh, what we're gonna
do, is uh, you're gonna start a scene, and, normally, and after the scene
gets started, I'm gonna buzz you, and then you come in with these different
styles I'm gonna throw to you. And uh, we'll see how it goes. The scene
is...Ryan is a WWII pilot...that's World War II.
RYAN: All right.
DREW: Uhh...
RYAN: I thought it was a wrestling pilot.
DREW: (laughs) Yeah. So...heh heh. So do a lot of people, that's why I had
to say W-World War II, pilot. Saying good-bye to his tearful girlfriend,
Karen, as he leaves on a dangerous mission. Colin, his wounded co-pilot,
promises to look after her.
KAREN: I'm gonna think about you, everyday, Chip, (RYAN: I-) I'm gonna miss
ya, darnit, miss ya.
RYAN: I'm gonna think about you once every three hours.
COLIN: (holding his shoulder) Can we pick this up? I'm losing a lot of blood.
RYAN: Look, Johnny and I may not come back from this mission, but (COLIN:
What?) I want you to know that I...(to Colin) you didn't get the note?
COLIN: No!
DREW: (buzz) John Wayne.
KAREN: You two are brave, I tell ya. You're too darn brave, and I'm just a
woman.
COLIN: (as an old man from a western movie) Don't you worry, you little
school marm. I'm gonna make sure I'm gonna bring your big padre back in one
piece!
KAREN: Oh.
RYAN: (talks and walks as John Wayne) It's a bad war but someone's gotta
fight it.
COLIN: I think you got your parachute str-strapped a little tight.
DREW: (buzz) Uhh...gorilla theatre. (clears throat)
KAREN: (mimes holding a shotgun) Take thaaat! Goooo! (shoots)
(Ryan and Colin act as monkeys, Colin pretends to pick off fleas from Ryan's
back and eats them. Karen picks up something and hands it to them)
DREW: (buzz) Pokémon!
KAREN: Herro! Herro! I am Ichi! (Colin scratches her back) Please don't go!
(hops)
RYAN: Ohh, you're making my tail catch on fire! (imitates Charmander)
COLIN: Jigglypuff! (puffs up)
RYAN: Pikachuuu!
DREW: (buzz) Monster movie.
RYAN: (turns around, looks at Colin) AAH! (brings Karen and holds her) What
happened to my co-pilot?
(Colin pretends to turn into a monster and walks stiffly towards Ryan and
Karen)
KAREN: (melodramatically) I...don't know, I can't...oh, (starts to cry and
falls)
RYAN: Oh! Your ankle!
KAREN: I can't go...
RYAN: I'll meet you down there! (leaves the stage)
(Colin approaches Karen)
DREW: (buzzes repeatedly) Okay, thank you very much. Five hundred points
apiece. Stick those points where the sun don't shine! Seattle- (RYAN:
...attle Washington!)
DREW: (forced) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Let's go on to a game called Weird
Newscasters. This is for all four of ya. Colin, (clears throat) you're the
anchor of a news program. Uh, your co-anchor is Karen. Karen, you're playing
a frisky granny.
KAREN: Oh, hohoho.
DREW: Says here a frisky granny with a crush on Colin.
KAREN: Ooh, all right. (cleans off stool, sits down)
DREW: Wayne, you're doing the sports. You're an inept fireman, called to an
emergency. And Ryan, you're doing the weather, you're a (Spanish accent)
matador, in a bull fight.
(Ryan gives a confused look)
DREW: So, whenever you're ready, go ahead and, start, whenever you hear the
music.
(Weird Newscasters theme plays)
(Karen stares amorously at Colin)
COLIN: Good evening, it's time for the six o' clock news I'm your anchor, Les
Miserable.
KAREN: Yes you are! Yes you are!
COLIN: All right out top story today! According to a recent scientific
report, men think about sex every six seconds, and because...(pauses for
about six seconds as he stares at the floor with a crooked smile)...Mike
Wallace. And now, over to you.
KAREN: Hello there! I'm Francine Le, and I love watching you talk, I want you
to set me free. (scratches at Colin's arm) Heh heh heh heh. I'm sixty but I
feel like a nubile teen. Heh heh heh heh heh...
COLIN: You're kidding yourself. (Karen is slightly offended) And now why
don't we see what's happening in the world of sports? Winky!
(Wayne mimes getting into the door of a fire engine and drives off, making a
'vroom' sound.)
WAYNE: Woof woof! You got it Sparky! Vrooom...(makes a siren sound, gets out
of the truck. He approaches the building and makes sounds of flame and smoke.
He puts down the visor of his helmet and enters the building.) Hello? He-
(puts the visor back up) OWWWW! OWWWW! AH! AH! Poof! (puts his hands over his
head to show his hair poofing up) Ooh! Back to you!
KAREN: I made you a pie. (holds one in front of Colin)
COLIN: I'm freaking out. And now, over to the weather. Stormy?
RYAN: Thank you very much. Well, looks like we've got sunny weather all over
the country, except for one place: Seattle, Washington; which again...(pauses
for cheers and applause) In Seattle, Washington. As you can see... (turns his
head around, huffs, raises his right arm) Toro! (looks at the camera as if
it's the bull and taunts the 'bull' with a cape) Huh...huh...huh...(moves the
cape away as the bull passes it) a-toro! (the camera turns around back to
Ryan, he taunts the camera again) Huh...huh...huh...ahh...(moves the cape
away again, the bull falls for it) ah-ha! Toro! (camera turns around again.
From the perspective of the 'bull,' Ryan is seen looking away from it,
thinking he is done with the bull.) Ohh...torooo! haha! ah-ha! (Ryan's pride
gets the best of him as the camera bumps into Ryan's hip)
RYAN: AAH! AAH! (falls down. The bull POV hovers above Ryan and looks down
as if the bull is crushing Ryan while he's down) No toro! No! No, toro! AAH!
AAH, no toro! AAH! (pretends to lose consciousness. The camera pulls back.
Ryan twitches.)
(Karen is seen holding Colin in her arms)
COLIN: Well, that reminds me, tomorrow we have an interview with Al Gore.
That is the news, six o'clock, see you tomorrow.
(Karen grabs Colin and kisses him passionately. We see the back of Karen's
head but can't tell whether she's really kissing him)
DREW: Ah, great, thousand points to each of you. And, uh, you know, our, uh,
also, same time we're on, "Diagnosis Murder" is on, on CBS. Lot of old people
watch that show, and apparently, there's hundreds of people every week who
don't live long enough to find out who the murderer is.
COLIN: Oh.
(mild audience laughter)
DREW: It's a true story. (virtually no reaction from the audience) They all
live in Seattle Washing-(laughs) Thousand points for that great kiss that
Karen planted on Colin, that was great.
(Karen wipes her lips)
DREW: Eh, wasn't as good as the kiss that Colin gave me on "The Drew Carey
Show," but it was all right.
RYAN: It was a lot easier to watch, I'll tell ya that.
DREW: Yeah. (laughs) Uh, let's move on to a game called Song Styles! This is
for Wayne...Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, and Cece Worrall. (goes up audience
steps) Lalalalala...you sir. Can I have your name please?
BOB: Bob.
DREW: Bob, nice to meet you, Bob. What do you do for a living?
BOB: I'm a pastor.
DREW: Uh, oh. He's a pastor. Come on down here, Bob. Nice to meet ya. (Bob
walks down to Wayne) Say hi to Wayne Brady. Okay, I love to make it easy for
Wayne. Wayne, you're gonna be singin' about Pastor Bob...in the style of a
James Bond theme song. And the Bond villain you're singing about, is Pastor
Bob, the Bond villain. (laughs)
(James Bond-type theme plays)
(Wayne faces his back to the camera, then turns his head around and is seen
pretending to hold a gun. He draws a circle around Bob with his fingers, then
pretends to run happily. Wayne draws two lines going down Bob with his
hands.)
WAYNE: (female voice) He's the man, who talks to God everyday
He does it in his pastoral way
He's the man, they call him the paaastor
He has a Bible, he carries it around like a gun
(holding the 'Bible') Back, evil spirits, set on stun
'Cause he's the paaastor
And God is his master
He is the one from who gets, his orders
He's the king, he knows no spiritual or mental borders
He doesn't have a collar 'cause he's not a reverend
He doesn't wear a hat, he's not The Pope
But because he's a very good pastor, to get to heaven, is what he
hooopes,
That's what he hooopes,
That's what he hooooooopes!
(Wayne rests his leg on Bob's. As the music ends he takes it off and makes a
cross motion with his hand, then falls back on the floor and apologizes. He
gets back up.)
WAYNE: Let's hear it for Bob! (shakes hands with Bob)
DREW: Oh, don't go away, we'll be right back with more "Whose Line is it
Anyway?" right after this!
DREW: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?", the show where everything
is made up, and the points don't matter. That's right, like borders to
Germans. The points don't matter. (Colin adjusts his collar nervously) Let's
go on to a game called Party Quirks, this is for everybody, Karen, you're
gonna be hosting a party.
WAYNE: Woo!
DREW: Wayne, Colin, and Ryan, you're gonna be the guests. And we've given
each a strange quirk or identity written on these cards here. Karen, why
doncha come down so you can't see it. And uh...uh, you start the party, and
I'll bring these guys one at a time with the doorbell, you have to guess who
they are.
KAREN: Okay.
DREW: So, uh, whenever you're ready Karen, start the party.
KAREN: (scooping something) Oooh, boy. Melon balls. Heh heh heh heh.
(ding dong)
KAREN: Oh.
(ding ding ding ding)
KAREN: Come on in. Hello!
WAYNE: ["An episode of 'COPS' in 30 seconds"] Hey, man, you got some? I
got...I got...(as the police officer) Hey, you! Roof roof roof! (as the
criminal, screaming) EHH! EHH! (goes up the stairs in the audience crowd)
EHH! EHH! Eh...Slam. (breathing heavily, looking out an imaginary window)
Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff! Eh...AAH! (runs back to Karen) AAH, AAH! I got -
ruff ruff (dog starts biting on his leg) AAH! (pretends to be handcuffed) Get
off me, man! Get off me!
(ding dong)
(ding dong)
(ding dong)
KAREN: I am so glad I invited you Charlie, 'cause you're so much fun!
WAYNE: (stands up, gets in the imaginary car with handcuffs still on)
(ding dong)
(ding dong)
KAREN: Oh! hello!
COLIN: ["Thinks Karen is a malfunctioning vending machine"] (puts a quarter
in Karen's ear, presses her stomach)
KAREN: Oh...
COLIN: (looks at her legs, gives her a couple of kicks)
KAREN: Hey...
COLIN: (looks again)
KAREN: It's new! It's a new outfit. It's see-through.
COLIN: (takes a quarter out of his pocket, puts it in her ear)
KAREN: Oh, ow...ok...
COLIN: (presses Karen's stomach)
KAREN: Frank -
COLIN: (kicks Karen)
KAREN: Ow.
COLIN: (reaches into to grab the candy from the bottom)
KAREN: (tries not to laugh; coughs)
WAYNE: Hey man. Hey man.
COLIN: (tries to hit Karen with his palm a few times)
(ding dong)
WAYNE: Hey man, get me some Reese's Pieces.
KAREN: I...
(ding dong)
KAREN: I am so glad I invited you. All right.
(ding dong ding dong)
KAREN: Hello!
RYAN: ["Cat going through all nine lives"] Hellooo, Karen. Thanks for
inviting me. (licks his 'paw' and runs it through his hair)
KAREN: Hello, Ryan! Oh! You look beautiful!
RYAN: Hey, fish sticks! Do you mind, if I...
COLIN: (rocks Karen left and right)
KAREN: Yeah...(laughs)
RYAN: (eats a fish stick, gags and chokes on it, falls down)
KAREN: Oh my god!
RYAN: (gets back up) Whoa! That was close! Couldn't see what I was eating.
KAREN: Yeah...
RYAN: Better plug in a lamp. (plugs in the lamp and gets electrocuted, falls
down)
COLIN: (pretends to hit Karen with his palm again a few times)
RYAN: Oh! (crying) I'm sorry. I ruined the whole party. (hangs himself)
KAREN: Oh my god! (to Wayne) A criminal on the lam!
DREW: No.
COLIN: (makes a phone call)
WAYNE: I'm a bad boy, bad boy, what am I gonna do?
KAREN: You're Mike Tyson. (realizing she's wrong) Oooh... (to Colin) Oh-hey,
you know what, I am not a car that you can try out.
DREW: (laughing) No.
KAREN: You're...testing a car.
DREW: No.
COLIN: (puts quarter in, presses button)
KAREN: Ah...you think I'm a...a...vending machine!
DREW: Yes! (buzz)
RYAN: Would it be okay with you if I took a bath with your toaster?
KAREN: Why...
RYAN: (goes to bathtub)
KAREN: I can't believe you're so suicidal!
DREW: No.
KAREN: Suicidal!
DREW: No.
RYAN: (gets electrocuted) Whoa! (hair puffs up) Ohh...oh, boy.
DREW: What is he first?
KAREN: He's a...
RYAN: (coughs up as if having a hairball)
KAREN: A cat! A suicidal cat!
DREW: No! And he's going through...how many lives do cats have?
KAREN: He's a - oh, he's - he's a cat that's using up all nine lives.
DREW: Yes! (buzz)
WAYNE: (pulls his hands under his feet to the front, takes something) Nice
TV!
KAREN: You are a...a...breaking and entering thief that's running away from
a...
DREW: Could be...
KAREN: The...
WAYNE: (as a voice-over) On next week...
DREW: On what show would he-be-be on if he was a breaking and entering
thief?
KAREN: Oh, "COPS"!
DREW: Yes! (buzz)
KAREN: (raises her arms proudly, bows twice)
DREW: That was fantas - don't ever go on "Celebrity Jeopardy!" (laughs) Last
game is called The Millionaire Show. This is for Colin...and, uh, Ryan, and
Wayne, and Karen. Colin' you're gonna be hosting a game show called The
Millionaire Show. Ryan is a contestant on the show. Wayne, you're the friend
at home, the lifeline, and Karen is the friend or the relative in the studio
audience. The twist is, this is the 1930's gangster version of The
Millionaire Show. So go ahead, and take it away. The 1930's gangster version
of The Millionaire Show.
COLIN: Hello, I'm Phebis Regin. Tonight, we're gonna make a millionaire but I
don't want anyone to talk about it after you see it, forget anything that
happened here. Do you understand? (to Ryan) We bring you back. Your name?
RYAN: Bugsy Bugsy.
COLIN: (slaps Ryan)
RYAN: AH!
COLIN: Your name!
RYAN: Bugsy Malone.
COLIN: That's right. You are two questions away from gettin' a million
dollars.
RYAN: I ain't answering any more of your questions!
COLIN: You're gonna answer your question! Don't make me pull my gat. (small
pause) That's a gun.
RYAN: (laughing a bit) I know.
COLIN: Are ya ready?
RYAN: All right, I'm ready to hear what ya have to say.
COLIN: Answer these questions, you get a million dollars.
RYAN: How do I get the million dollars? I want it in small bills.
COLIN: You'll get it the way you'll get it and you'll get it that way!
RYAN: (pretends to be slapped) AH!
COLIN: I didn't even do nothing. All right, listen up, tall guy. Chaucer is
A) a playwright, B) a bad way to pronounce 'saucer,' C) a fruity drink, or D)
the dirty squealer who's under the ocean, with cement overshoes, and a d-
RYAN: Shut up about that! D doesn't count! I'm rulin' out D right now, it
never existed!
COLIN: All right. So what's your answer?
RYAN: Ah. Saucer sounds right for Chaucer. I'm gonna have to make a call up
into the audience and tell w - no, I'm going up into the audience to one of
my relatives.
COLIN: All right.
RYAN: My dear motha's up there. Ma! Can ya hear me?
KAREN: Yeah, I can Bugsy. But mommy's a little drunk on hooch!
RYAN: Ma! He's grilling me! I need some answers!
KAREN: I tell ya, I'm just a dame, I'm torn between A and C. A and C, I'm
gonna go with A, but I'm just a dame.
RYAN: Apparently my motha's Jewish and I'm not. I'm gonna have to go with B.
COLIN: Is that your final answer?
RYAN: No, C's my final answer.
COLIN: C's your final answer?
RYAN: Yeah.
COLIN: That's the last one?
RYAN: That's my final answer.
COLIN: You're not gonna say anymore?
RYAN: Ehh...
COLIN: A's your final answer?
RYAN: What?
COLIN: So your final answer's A?
RYAN: Eh!
COLIN: A's your final answer?
RYAN: What are ya talkin' about?
COLIN: That's your last answer?
RYAN: Yes!
COLIN: You picked A. You lousy, stupid! Yeah, that's right.
RYAN: What?
COLIN: Yeah, it's right.
RYAN: Put 'er there, buddy! (handshake)
COLIN: Here is your next question. The capital... of Paraguay...is, A)
Nukilama, C) Nukiwaga, C) Nikiniki, or D) is the capital of Paraguay...the P?
RYAN: Hey, what are you tryin' to pull on me? You had an A and two C's in
there! (pulls out a shotgun)
COLIN: Hey, there's no need to get...(takes Ryan's gun, breaks it in half on
his leg)
RYAN: Oh...
COLIN: Ah-ha!
RYAN: (pretends to be slapped again) I'm gonna have to make a phone call for
this one. It's tricky with the A, two C's, and a D. (dials on a rotary
telephone) Someday they're gonna invent a phone where you can just push
buttons.
COLIN: You're crazy!
RYAN: I'm callin' my warden. He's my best friend. (makes two ringing sounds)
WAYNE: (ŕ la Edward G. Robinson) Mah, see.
RYAN: Warden. Warden. It's Bugsy Malone here.
WAYNE: Mah. You're out of the joint. Out of the stir. Mah.
RYAN: So...finally found out I was missin', huh? He he he he he...
WAYNE: Mah. You think it's funny now.
RYAN: Warden. I'm goin' straight. I ain't stealin' it. I'm winnin' it! I
just need the answer. Is it A, C, C, or D?
WAYNE: Mah. Might help if I knew the question, ya stoody-da-da-doody, ya
doody head.
RYAN: I've got my...
WAYNE: Ya doody.
RYAN: It's the capital of Paraguay, Warden! You're from there, for god's
sake!
WAYNE: It's P, P, the big P!
RYAN: All righty. Thanks.
WAYNE: Mah.
RYAN: (hangs up the phone)
COLIN: That's one smart sheep.
RYAN: I'm gonna have to say P.
COLIN: P? So your answer's D?
RYAN: I'm sayin' C.
COLIN: That's your final answer?
RYAN: No, I'm gonna change it to C.
COLIN: That's your final answer?
RYAN: Yeah.
COLIN: That's your last answer?
RYAN: Hey, I'm gay, I'm gonna take D.
COLIN: You're gonna take D?
RYAN: But if it's not D...you're gonna find yourself in cement shoes at the
bottom of the...I don't know what river but I'll find one!
COLIN: So you're pickin' D?
RYAN: I am pickin' D.
COLIN: (disappointed) Ohh...
RYAN: (lowers his head)
COLIN: Ohh...
RYAN: (angry sigh)
COLIN: Of all the crazy answers you could've picked...you are a millionaire!
RYAN: What? Dah! Get out of here! (handshake)
COLIN: Yeah!
RYAN: Dah!
COLIN: Yeah!
RYAN: (punches Colin four times)
DREW: (buzz) Hey! We'll be right back, find out who the winner is, don't go
away!
DREW: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway? Uh, tonight's winner...Karen
Maruyama! Karen Maruyama's the winner, how 'bout it?
KAREN: (mouths 'thank you, thank you')
DREW: The rest of us are gonna be punished by doing a Hoedown for you. A uh,
uh...now what I need from the audience...things that scare you in the middle
of the night.
(audience shouts suggestions, including burglar and wife)
DREW: The wife! Let's do a...s - a Hoedown about the scary wife. Uh, take it
away, Laura Hall.
(Hoedown music plays)
WAYNE: Oh, I got married, about a year ago
I'm as happy as can be, I think you all should know
But my wife, I'm glad I did marry
Except in the mornin', she looks like Drew Carey
(Wayne looks at Drew)
DREW: Well, Wayne gets worried, about his little wife
'Cause she is the love of his life
But every night, just about three
(Drew looks at his watch)
Oh, Wayne, she's out with me
(Wayne looks shocked)
COLIN: Every night my wife scares the life out of me
With her ugly hair and scars all you can see
Marrying someone that ugly, really wasn't my plan
I accidentally married Dennis, Rod-man.
RYAN: You know that my wife, she is my best pal
I will have to say that she is quite a gal
When it comes to wives, she is the best
She's the finest in the land, phew, now I'll get some sex
ALL: Now I'll get some seeex!
DREW: Okay, we're gonna see a commercial, we'll be right back with more
"Whose Line," don't go away.
DREW: Hey! Welcome back to Whose Line. We're gonna end the show tonight with
Wayne and Karen readin' the credits for ya. Uh, I want you to read the
credits as, uh, two Whose Line fans waiting to meet the cast at the stage
door. Good night everybody, thanks for watching, I'll see ya later.
WAYNE: Hey, that's Drew Carey and Ryan Stiles!
KAREN: Oh yeah!
WAYNE: We love you man!
KAREN: Denise O'Donoghue!
WAYNE: Hey, tall dude!
KAREN: She puts on Ryan's make-up! Oh my god, that Wayne Brady is so cute!
(Colin and Ryan walk to the left of the screen behind Wayne and Karen)
WAYNE: Hey look, it's Drew Carey! Oh my god!
KAREN: Oh! Oh! Danny Breen knows Colin!
WAYNE: I've got those same glasses, dude!
KAREN: Oh my god!
WAYNE: Who the hell's Erik Wilker?
KAREN: I don't know but Stephen Blum says Karen Maruyama's more funny!
(laughs)
WAYNE: Lionel! Lionel! Woo!
(Ryan makes gestures for attention, Colin walks past Karen and Wayne, in
front of them)
KAREN: Oh, god, Anne Cofell...
WAYNE: Oh my god! Oh my...(tries to get Colin, falls)
KAREN: Oh my god!
WAYNE: Please! Please!
KAREN: Johnnie Gooch!
WAYNE: (grabs Colin's ankles) I love you! I love you! I love you!
COLIN: (tries to shoo Wayne away)
KAREN: (sees Ryan) I love you Ryan! (grabs Ryan's ankles)
WAYNE: Please!
Transcript credits
huzlinefan transcribed all of the games
(This episode capsule was compiled by Scott Robinson. Copyright 2001. All
titles of games and related situations are trademarks and the property of
Hat Trick Productions, Warner Brothers, and/or ABC and no infringements on
copyright are intended. Watch the show. It's better than reading about it.)