Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
It's not very bright, it's cheap, and spreads easily.
Submitted by: Rod
What is the difference between a blonde and a misquito?
When you slap a misquito it stops sucking.
Submitted by: Unknown
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
I wonder if it's mine.
Submitted by: ginjanut
A blonde kept going out to her mail box, and a worried neighbor went
over to ask her if she was expecting something. The blonde said no, the computer keeps telling me I have mail.
Submitted by: Unknown
What does a blonde and a computer have in common?
You never know how important they are until they go down on you.
Submitted by: Chris Pearson
A blonde was on one side of a river and a brounette was on the otherside.
The brunette called out to the blond, "How do you get to the other side?"
And the blond replied, "You should know, your already there!"
Submitted by: Crystal
Why was the blonde up to her elbows in cake mix?
The instructions said to mix by hand.
Submitted by: Claire
Why doesn't a blonde eat a banana?
She can't find the zipper.
Submitted by: Brandi and Misty
What did the blonde bring to the invention convention?
A Solar Powered Flashlight.
Submitted by: Molly
Two girls, a redhead and a blonde were walking in a forest.
The redhead said, "Oh no a dead duck!"
And the blond looks up and says where?
Submitted by: Jenna
What the difference between a blonde and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew the lightbulb.
Submitted by: George P.
How come blondes don't eat pickles?
Because they can't fit their head in the jar!
Submitted by: Unknown
A blonde and a brunette were going to work
The brunette said, "Watch for cops we're late."
"Ok" said the blonde.
"Do you see any?"
"Yes"
"Are they after us?"
"I don't know."
"Well, are their lights on?"
"Yes, no, yes ,no..."
Submitted by: amanda
Why did the blonde have lipstick on the steering wheel?
Because she tried to blow the horn.
Submitted by: Unknown
What do you call a good looking man with a blonde?
A hostage.
Submitted by: Andrew
How do you know a blonde used a computer?
There's cheese next to the mouse.
Submitted by: Unknown
Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?
She thought it was pregnant because it skipped a period.
Submitted by: Unknown
How does a blonde die drinking milk?
The cow falls on her.
Submitted by: Lexi
What do you call a blonde who died her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence
Submitted by: Lexi
Why does a blonde make a poor farmer?
Because she can't keep her calves together.
Submitted by: Lauren
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant!
Submitted by: Kevin Copp
What´s similar about a blonde and a stamp?
You just lick them and send them away.
Submitted by: R.
Why are blondes coffens y-shaped?
Everytime they lay down they spread their legs.
Submitted by: naudoit
Why did 18 blondes go to the same movie?
The sign said, "Under 18 not allowed."
Submitted by: Jerry Chavers
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were in a elevator when the brunette said there was a spot on the wall she thought it was a cum stain.
Then the redhead went up to the stain and sniffed it and said it is a cum stain.
Then the blonde goes up and licks it and says it is, but it is not from this
building
Submitted by: John Smit
How do you confuse a blonde?
Give her a piece of paper and tell her to rip one side but leave the other
alone.
Submitted by: Unknown
What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
Submitted by: JP
Blonde: "Excuse me sir,What time is it?
Man: "Its 3:15."
Blonde:(puzzled look on face) I've been asking that question all day long and I keep getting a different answer everytime.
Submitted by: Brent Cook
Two blondes were locked outside of their Mercedes.
One blonde was trying to pick the lock with a hairpin.
The other one said, "Hurry up!"
The lockpicker said, "I'm going as fast as I can!"
The other said, "It's about to rain and the top's down!"
Submitted by: Unknown
What is worse than two redheads building a building under the sea?
Two blondes trying to burn it down.
Submitted by: Amber
Why did the blonde have square boobs?
She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Submitted by: Unknown
A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned.
Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub.
Submitted by: Unknown
Two blondes walked into a building.
You would have thought one of them would have seen it.
Submitted by: Unknown
Four blondes and one brunette were hanging on a helicopter rope.
The piloit said one of you must jump so the other five can live.
The brunette said I'll do it
And the blondes started clapping.
Submitted by: Sinclair Ender
Why are blondes legs like a convience store?
There always open.
Submitted by: Joy Edwards
Some blonde inventions:
A submarine screen door
An inflateable dartboard
Submitted by: Unknown
A blonde went into a shop and saw a thermis. She asked the manager what does it do? It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. She said I will take it. Next day she brought it to work and her blonde boss asked her what it was. She said it was a thermis. Then he asked what does it do. She said it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. He asked what do you have in it? She told him, a popsicle and 2 cups of coffee.
Submitted by: Ryan and Tyler
Why did the blonde nurse carry a red ink pen in her pocket?
For when the doctor told her to draw blood.
Submitted by: Allison L.
What is a blondes idea of safe sex?
Locking the car doors.
Submitted by: Unknown
Why can't a blonde waterski?
Everytime her crotch gets wet she has to sit down.
Submitted by: Unknown
