Jokes From Other People #1

Jokes From Other People

*Disclaimer*

The jokes contained on this page do not reflect the views of the creator of The Jokes Homepage nor are they intended to degrade other people. They are merely jokes intended for entertainment not to bash blondes, lawyers, nor people of different race or gender. If you believe these jokes to be offensives, leave this site, do not email me complaining. I don't hate anyone or group of people mentioned in these jokes. I only posted these jokes as a collection for others who can take these jokes lightheartedly.

If you have any jokes, suggestions, or comments, then email me.

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To hit on the chicken.
Submitted by: Gary Hurlbert
Yo mamma's so nasty, she takes crabs TO the beach.
Yo mamma's so fat, she uses the VCR for a pager.
Yo mamma's so fat her swimming pool got stretch marks.
Submitted by: Meghan
What's the difference between a Blonde and a 747?
A Blonde's got a bigger cockpit!
Submitted by: Dave Woodhead
Why did the blonde faint while changing the light bulb?
She got dizzy turning round and round.

Why are blondes such bad drivers?
Because they jump into the backseat every time the car stops.

How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner.
Submitted by: Jaslyn Tan
Yo mama is so fat food orbits around her!
Yo mama is so fat she pulls a chair up to the salad bar!
Yo mama is so dumb she thought that a quaterback was a refund!
Yo mama is so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!
Yo mama is so fat i swim in her belly button!
Yo mama is so fat, even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama is so dirty i can plant flowers in her butt-crack!
Submitted by: Brian
Yo mama is so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone!
Submitted by: Unknown
How does a blond turn the light on after sex?
She opens the car door!
Submitted by: Jenifer
Whats the diffrence between your mom and a 747 jumbo jet?
Not everybody has been on a 747 jumbo jet.

Your mama's like railroad tracks spread out around the country.

How do you know a blonde secretaryis having a bad day?
Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil
Submitted by: Mike
Your mama's so stupid, she went to a buy one get one free sale and tried to pay for both of them.
Submitted by: Melanee
Your mama is so fat, that each time she goes to the beach, the tide comes in.
Submitted by: Mandos Blackheart
Your mama's so stupid, I said it was chilli outside and she ran to get a bowl!
Your mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund!
Your mama's so stupid, she thought a elevator was a moblie home!
Your mama's so fat, she fell in the grandcanyon and got stuck!
Submitted by: Ginger
Your mamma's... so fat, she broke the family tree! so dumb, she chases parked cars! so dumb, she got a concusion while drinking water, the toilet seat fell on her head! so dumb, she got lost in an elevator! so dumb, she ran out of gas cause she went around the block too many times, the blinker was stuck! There's a new Barbie called the Divorce Barbie, She comes with all of Ken's stuff!
Submitted by: MIMO
Yo mamma's got more seamen than a naval fleet!

Yo mamma's like a shotgun to cocks and she blows!
Submitted by: Mike Rheaume

Your mama's so fat she sat on a quarter and made George Washington fart.
Submitted by: Sam Zimmerman
Doctor: young lady are you sexually active?
Patient: Well to be quite honest doctor I do tend to just lay there.
Submitted by: Paul Wood
How many animals fit in a pair of pantyhose?
15-Two calfs, two thighs, ten little piggies and a cat you can never seem to find
Submitted by: Unknown
Your mamma's like a door knob...
Everyone gets a turn
Submitted by: Kelvin Huang

You may be a redneck:
If you and your dog eat out of the same bowl.
If someone tells you you have BO and you think it's a compliment.
Submitted by: Unknown

What do you call a blonde behing the steering wheel? Air bag.

Did you hear about the two blondes who ran into a brick wall? You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

The blonde was so excited after completing a jigsaw puzzle in six months. The box said 3 to 5 years.

Sumitted by: Unknown

Why was raggedy anne kicked out of the toypen?
Because she kept sitting on pinnochio's face saying lie to me lie to me!

What's long and green and smells like pork?
Kermit's finger!!!

What are the 2 ways girls and dogs are the same?
They can both bleed for a week without dying and bury a bone without getting there nose dirty.
Submitted by: Aero

What do you throw a drowning lawyer? His Colleagues!

How do you save a suffocating lawyer? take your foot off his neck!
Submitted by: Brock Harrison

You might be a red neck if...
you think the pinky is really called the booger snitcher!
Submitted by: Lynn Jones

A man walks into a bar as he walks up to the bar he steps in some shit oh great he thinks, another man walks in and does the same, the first man says I just did that, so the second man rubs his nose in it.
Submitted by: Tubs
Your momma...
is so short that she broke her legs jumping off a toilet.
is so short that she can give a cocroach a blowjob.
reminds me of a toilet bowl round and full of shit.
Submitted by: Aman

Your mama's so stupid you invented a solar powered flashlight.
Your mama's so stupid you invented a book on how to read.
Your mama's so fat she plays pool with the planets.
Your mama's house is so small she had to eat a large pizza outside.
Your mama's so poor she walked by a drain dropped in two cents and said "here's the rent".
Your mama's so dumb she failed her urine test.
Your mama has such bad aim she tried to hit the sidewalk with a brick and missed.
Submitted by: Zahra Samji

Yo momma's so....
Hairy, Big Foot takes pictures of her
Fat, People jog around her for exercise
Nasty, called her for phone sex and got an ear infection
Dumb, she got stabbed in a shoot out
Poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken and has to lick other people's fingers
Short, she poses for trophies
Submitted by: De Anna Brandenburg

How do you know a drummer is standing in front of the door and knocks?
He's getting faster.
Submitted by: Peter Neubauer

What does a blonde say when you ask her what cheerios is?
Donut
Submitted by: Snuff

How do you keep a blonde occupied for a day?
Give her a pack of M&Ms, and tell her to sort them in alphabetical order
Submitted by: Snuff

Did you hear the one about the guy who is both a vetrinarian, and a taxidermist?
he has a sign on his door, it says EITHER WAY OUT, YOU GET YOUR DOG BACK
Submitted by: Snuff

Your momma is so fat, that when she puts on her BVD's it spells out Bullevard by the time it gets to her waste.
Your momma is so fat, her belt is the equator.
Sharyl Bourcier

Why did the blonde sell her house?
Because she needed money for the rent!
Submitted by: Kate

Why did the blonde sell her car?
Because she needed money for petrol!
Submitted by: Kate

Yo momma's so....
Fat, People jog around her for exercise
Nasty, called her for phone sex and got an ear infection
Dumb, she got stabbed in a shoot out
Poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken and has to lick other people's fingers
Short, she poses for trophies
Submitted by: De Anna Brandenburg

Why did the ice factory break down? Because the old lady who knew the recipe died!
Submitted by: Ray Moon
Why was the blonde kicked out of the banana factory? Because she threw away all the bent ones!
Submitted by: Ray Moon
Your momma is so stupid, she said whats the weather like and i said chilly and she went outside with a spoon
Submitted by: Gary Kaiser

Your momma so poor, her front and back door are on the same hinge
Submitted by: Gary Kaiser

What did the blondes right foot say to her left foot?
I've missed you.
Submitted by: Daniella

The 12 days of Christmas, Redneck Style:
12 pack of Bud
11 wrestling tickets
tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of RedMan
6 cans of Spam
5 FLANNEL SHIRTS!
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 hunting dogs
and some parts to a Mustang GT
Submitted by: Nichole Renschler

Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomarang.
Submitted by: Mary

What does a blonde put behind her ears to attract men?
Her ankles.
Submitted by: Jim Andrews

Here is a joke for you:
Why can't frankenstein have kids?
His nuts are on his neck!
Submitted by: Mike

What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever
Submitted by: Frank Charboneau

Why did the 5 blondes get kicked out of the M&M factory?
Because they threw away all of the W's!
Submitted by: Frank Charboneau

How do you know a singer is standing in front of the door?
She has lost the key and always comes in late.
Submitted by: Peter Neubauer

How can you make a leadguitarist stop playing?
Put a sheet of music in front of him.
Submitted by: Peter Neubauer

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