Your Mama Jokes

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The jokes contained on this page do not reflect the views of the creator of The Jokes Homepage nor are they intended to degrade other people. They are merely jokes intended for entertainment not to bash blondes, lawyers, nor people of different race or gender. If you believe these jokes to be offensives, leave this site, do not email me complaining. I don't hate anyone or group of people mentioned in these jokes. I only posted these jokes as a collection for others who can take these jokes lightheartedly.

Your Mama's so...

old she is the only person with an autographed copy of the Bible.

fat her butt has it's own congressmen.

old she is the one who taught Jonna how to fish.

fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.

stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat in the rain, people run to her and
yell "Taxi!"

fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.

fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

fat, when she tripped on 10th St., she landed on 22nd St..

ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals"

ugly, just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her
father said "Yeah! Let's go bury it!"

stupid, she placed a ruler on her pillow so she can see how long she can
sleep.

old, I told her to act her own age, and she died.

ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end.

poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she
was doing, she said "Moving."

ugly, they didn't make a costume for her when she tried out for Star Wars.

fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.

fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign.

fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.

fat, when she steps on a scale, it read "One at a time, please."

fat, I swerved to avoid her in the road and ran out of gas.

ugly, when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn!
Is it Halloween already?"

stupid, she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the
"11" button for "9-1-1."

ugly, the govt. moved Halloween to her birthday.

stupid, she got fired from M & M factory for throwing out all W's.

ugly, her mom had to feed her with a sling shot.

fat, if she weighed 5 more pounds, she could get group insurance.

fat, she jumped in air and got stuck.

fat, when she wears Maclom X shirt, helicopters land on her.

stupid, if you give her a penny for her intelligence, you'll get change
back.

fat, if she was a superhero, she would be "incredible bulk."

old, she co-wrote one of the ten commandments.

stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

fat, a picture of her fell off the wall.

fat, at the zoo the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

stupid, she sold her car for gas money.

old, her social security number is 1.

ugly, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone.

fat, she's on both sides of the family.

ugly, two guys broke into her apt., she yelled "rape", they yelled "NO!"

fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

fat, when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's
nose

fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes

fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs

fat, when she goes to the beach, kids go "free willy! free willy!"

fat, she's got her own zip code

fat, people jog around her for exercise

fat, when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

old, that when she was in school there was no history class.

hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her!

fat, she stepped on rainbow and made Skittles

stupid, she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "Guess"
so she said Levi's

fat, I guess we know what's eating Gilbert Grape.

old, she was Bob Dole's baby sitter.

fat, she couldn't fit in a satellite photo.

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