Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They are the property of Joss Whedon and the WB. I'm just borrowing them to amuse myself during these hellish weeks of reruns. If Joss can screw up the characters lives, well darn it, as an almighty fic writer, I can mess with them too. Just remember that his is real and mine is just pretend. So if I do something you don't like, tell yourself it's only a story.

Note: I'm still amusing myself. Thought it'd be fair to let you know before you read. See how nice I am. Also, this story follows the "Insanity" route. Be prepared.

Darkness. It was all she saw, all she felt. All around her there was nothing but darkness. She walked down the street, oblivious to her surroundings, focusing only on the dark. She could sense him near, knew he was waiting for her. She knew it was dangerous, knew he had no qualms about taking her life. But somehow, she couldn't resist the darkness. She couldn't resist him. She stopped at the entrance to the apartment, her mind giving one last scream for her to leave. She was unarmed, her mind totally unfocused on destroying him. She was't ready to kill him, didn't think she'd ever be ready to truly defeat him. She knew that she should be running away, knew she should be trying to save her life. But some little part of her wanted to be there, some part of her needed the darkness that surrounded him. So, with total disregard for her life, she took that final step into the apartment, into his domain.

He was sitting there waiting for her. She spotted him as soon as she stepped over the threshold. His eyes were focused intently on her, a slight smile graced his lips. As she walked toward him she wondered what the smile was for. She knew it wasn't because of past memories of this place, knew it wasn't because he cared about the time they'd spent in this room. No, the smile had to be there because he was certain she couldn't stay away from him. She would do anything to be with him. Even give up her life.

He stood up suddenly and she halted her steps, not sure of what to do next. He held out a hand and, with only the slightest hesitation, she took it. He hauled her roughly to him, his arms crushing her against his chest.

"Are you going to kill me?" she asked him casually, as if they were talking about the weather. It surprised her that she wasn't afraid to die.

Angelus raised an eyebrow as he looked down at her. "Maybe," he answered with a shrug. "I haven't really decided yet. Why? In a hurry to die?"

Buffy smiled. "No, just wanted to be up to date on things."

"Glad I could oblige." He leaned down until his lips were just a breath above hers. "Why are you here?"

That was one of many questions she couldn't answer. What was she doing there? She'd been asking herself that question all the way over here. Why couldn't she stay away from him? Why did she always come back, knowing that he could kill her, understanding that her weakness, her inabilty to destroy him, made him stronger? Why did she keep torturing herself? Why couldn't she reject the darkness? Why was she so entranced by him, the creature so intent on making her suffer? Those were questions she feared she would never know the answers to. They were too hard, too complex. She just didn't know how to answer them. Maybe there was no answer. Maybe it was all some big joke. She smiled, briefly, as she pictured the higher powers looking down upon them, entertained, as they silently manipulated their latest toys. Make the Slayer attracted to her enemy, she thought with a look at the ceiling. I hope you like the show we're giving you.

She turned her attention back to the one holding her in his arms, looking deep into his eyes searching for answers, only to receive more questions. Looking into the depths of his eyes, eyes that held no emotion, no hint of feeling whatsoever, not anger, not hate, not love, she saw herself. In his eyes she saw what drew them together, she saw what forced them to back to each other, despite the hate. In his eyes she saw darkness. The same darkness she saw in herself. Pulling herself from her thoughts she focused on Angelus. He was still watching her, waiting patiently for her answer to his question. She had a feeling, though, that he already knew the answer. "Why am I here?" she repeated the question, finally ready to speak. "I'm here because I can't help but be here. We're connected. We can't fight it. We're drawn together and though we hate it, we go along with it because we have to." There was a light of understanding in his eyes and she knew that he was aware of what was between them. And he didn't like it any more than she did. But what they wanted didn't matter.

"I can't kill you," Buffy said with a sigh. She reached up and wrapped her arms around him. "At least not yet. I want you. I don't want to, but I do. But eventually I'm going to work up the nerve to destroy you. I *will* destroy you."

"And I'll destroy you," Angelus replied, his voice confident. Buffy nodded, knowing he was right. It was the only way they could go. When their fight was over, both Slayer and Vampire would be gone. Another Slayer would come and take her place, another Vampire would lead the clan. But Buffy and Angelus would be no longer. They knew it and accepted it.

It startled her when his lips came down on hers, rough and demanding. It was something she hadn't expected to happen. But she didn't waste time being cautious. Pulling him closer to her, she opened up to him, letting him inside her mouth, inside her soul. As he deepened the kiss she once again felt the shadows that surrounded them. As Slayer and vampire kissed, as their mouths melded together, they connected. Good and evil disappeared, love and hate evaporated. There were only two people, their passion...

And darkness.

The End

Back to my Fan Fiction Page