Film Reviews

On this page, I hope to give a little info on several of Darcy's film & tv appearances. I haven't seen all the movies see has been in, so I can only review a few.

Her most recognizable role is probably is the 1987 film Can't Buy Me Love. In this movie, she plays a high school girl named Patty who is one of the cheerleaders. If you have seen the movie, Patty is the girl that Ronnie (Patrick Dempsey) goes with to the Columbus day dance and does that strange African dance. Towards the end of the movie, her character is tutored by Ronnie's best friend. This is possibly the role most people would have seen her in.

"Hardbodies" was another mainstream-type movie that Darcy was in. She was in this movie while she was still a teenager. Her role was a pretty small one. The first time we see Darcy is during the opening credits. She is on the beach with her friends, and her actions include the splits and a cartwheel/gymnastic move. About an hour into the movie the main characters roll up to a hot dog shack she works at. They take her away to the beach where she gets together with a guy named Rounder. Her last appearance in the movie is at the big party near the end where she is challenging girls ar the party to guess the size of Rounder's unit.

"Reform School Girls" is your basic cookie cutter women in prison type B movie. There is a lot of violence, nudity, shower scenes, gun play, women in lingerie, bad acting, bad dialogue, and stupid plot twists. It focuses on a dormitory where there is a bad girl group led by Wendy O. Williams (the late punk rocker). Darcy plays her #1 minion. Although Darcy gets plenty of camera time, she doesn't have very many lines. She spends the majority of the movie in a camisole and panties. Before lights out in the dorm, the evil overseer of the dorm takes a role call. Darcy is always the first girl in line and we get to hear her say "Charmin, Karen" about 5 times.

A movie she has been in recently is "Alien Abduction: Intimate Secrets". Her role is Sheri, one of five women at a healthclub. Four of these ladies talk about the memories they have of sexual encounters. Sheri and one other girl share memories of strange sexual encounters they had in Europe. As it turns out, the fifth lady knows what really happened, Alien abduction! Darcy's encounter involves a veternarian and a lady wearing a saddle. Quite erotic and strange.

The suspense movie "Living To Die" featured Darcy and Wings Hauser. Basically Darcy plays an abused wife that fakes her death at the beginning to free herself of a Vegas gaming commisioner Edward Minton. She eventually turns to Nick Carpenter (Wings) for help and they become lovers. When Minton finds out she is alive, Nick realizes he is in a world of trouble and picks up the bruises and bleeding associated with it. I'm not going to give away the ending, but I was a little surprised by it.

In "Friday the 13th, part VI", Darcy plays the typical unsuspecting visitor to Crystal Lake. You know the formula, bunch of people go to Crystal Lake, start having a good time, and all but one or two of them dies. Darcy, unfortunately for her fans, is one of the victims. She has one 10-12 minute vignette where she and her boyfriend get offed by Jason. She looks very cute in the role of Nikki. Her appearance in part VII is just a flashback to her death in VI. Here's a pic of Jason slamming her head into the wall of a camper, ouch!

Staying in the horror genre', Darcy was in "Night Life". This was one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen. The plotline goes something like this...There's a clique of four high school students which consists of two cheerleaders and two football players. They spend pretty much all of their free time harassing their somewhat introverted classmate that works at the local mortuary. About halfway through the movie all four of them die in the same car wreck and are taken to this mortuary. Lightning strikes the mortuary and brings the four of them back to life. So, naturally they have to go on a killing spree. But, these aren't your common zombies, they can do complex things like drive and work a gas pump. To sum it up, the kid has to stop them. Darcy's role in this is Roberta or cheerleader number two. Darcy pulls off the high school girl role quite well despite the fact she was in her mid twenties when this film was made. Her zombie skills weren't any worse than the other actors either.

In "Bucket of Blood", Anthony Michael Hall plays a geeky guy that seemingly has nothing going for him. One day he covers the neighbor's cat with plaster of paris and voila!, he's a talented artist. Of course he has no real talent and is forced to kill and kill again to make new creations. When his popularity is peaking, Darcy's character, Alice, takes an interest in him after ignoring him for a long time. She agrees to pose for him naked and he....well, I don't want to ruin the movie. It was actually a decent movie.

The movie "Return To Horror High" uses plot 37 in the slasher movie handbook. It's a slasher movie about a film company making a slasher movie. Guess what happens. That's right, the actors and film crew start ending up dead for real. It's actually pretty non-violent for a slasher movie because you only see the aftermath of the slashing incidents in most cases. Maureen McCormick of Brady Bunch fame is in this, and she is pretty funny as a cop who seems to be getting sexually excited from the turn of events. Darcy's role? She's on screen for about 10 seconds and plays a cheerleader who is roughhousing with a group of guys. She gets her sweater lifted in the process.

Vice Academy 3 is the movie that Darcy had removed from her resume', and her name taken off all the credits due to a conflict with Ginger Lynn Allen. The first thing I have to say is porno stars are not actors! Ginger Lynn Allen and Julia Parton are ex-porn stars that couldn't act dead if someone killed them. Unfortunately, one or the other of them is on screen through most of the movie. Basically, Julia's character, Melanie, breaks out of prison with some other girls and goes on a crime spree. The vice squad spend the movie trying to round them up. Darcy has a very big role in this movie with plenty of camera time. She plays Samantha, who is a prisoner to start the movie, but she is given the chance to train for the vice squad. It turns out that she is really the only competent one on the force, but she gets framed by Ginger's character Didi and has to return to prison. With all the bad acting in this movie, you can really tell that Darcy is a trained, professional actress. It's a shame that she left the set under such bad terms because the ending had her set up nicely for a role in the fourth episode of this movie series.

The comedy "Gimme An 'F'" looks more like a cheerleader training film. There are plenty of scenes of cheerleaders practicing and performing. Basically it takes place at a cheerleader camp where they try to teach groups of cheerleaders how to be better cheerleaders. The end of camp brings on the annual dance contest. The movie focuses mainly on two groups, the Falcons and the Ducks. The Falcons are the snobby elitists and defending dance contest champions. The Ducks are a group from a school that recently went co-ed and now have their first cheerleaders. Throughout the movie, the Falcons get down on the Ducks, who frankly stink at cheerleading. Then on the day of the contest there is a startling transformation and .... Well, I don't want to give anything away. Darcy plays one of the Ducks. The interesting thing about the Ducks is that for the first 15 minutes of the movie, they have a bunch of members The middle hour of the movie the Ducks have 6 members, and at the end the Ducks again have a bunch of members. Darcy is a pretty skilled dancer and is one of the Ducks that disappears for the middle part of the movie. It was a pretty small role from her, and I am pretty sure she doesn't say but one or two lines in the movie.

The Erotic Confessions episode "Messy" features Darcy as the wife in a married couple. Their house is a sty, and she asks her husband to clean it up while she goes to the store because her parents are coming over. Her husband hires a maid to clean the house, and she comes over and does more than that. After Darcy gets home, the maid gets things fired up between her and her husband. They end up getting creative with food in the kitchen.

In her other appearance in the Erotic Confessions series, Darcy plays the unhappy wife of a rich man in "Party for Two". Darcy plays a woman that is a very talented musician that is held back by her oft absent husband. He hires a professional pianist for a party, and Darcy's character is taken with him. They eventually start a love affair, and end up playing duets in more ways than one.

In the soap opera created by Playboy named "Eden", Darcy played the role of Randi. It had pretty typical soap plot lines and it took place at a "Club Med" type resort. However, there was one MAJOR difference, nudity. I haven't seen any episodes in a while, but from what I remember, Randi was the fitness instructor for the resort and Darcy fit the role well. If you looked past the nudity, it was actually a fairly decent soap. As far as soaps go that is.

The television appearances I've seen:
"Mad About You". Her role in that is Mindy who is interested in Paul Reiser's brother, Ira, because he is supposed to have a sandwich named after him in the restaurant they all frequent called "Riffs". When the new menus for Riffs come out, Ira sees that he didn't get a sandwich named after him so Mindy dumps him.

"Full House". She plays Jesse's (John Stamos) regular date. The only problem on this particular night, Jesse has hooked up with one of Danny's (Bob Saget) co-workers. His family is no help in this situation, and he ends up sitting in a very uncomfortable situation at the dinner table between the two ladies. Eventually, he does end up with his new girl.