A Love Beyond Compare by Sandra Bondelier

Chapter 8
Good Morning Sunshine

The sun was peeking warily through the clouds in the Salem skies and shining lightly through the window panes. It was morning and Marlena didn't want to wait another second to see the children. 'Five years, that's such a long time,' she thought. 'I hope they're happy to see me, to know that I'm alive. Oh, come on Marlena, after the shock wears off, you know they will be...right?' There were so many questions swirling around in her head that she was thankful when she heard the soft knocking on her door. She was so excited to start this day that she practically leaped off the bed to greet a still yawning Roman at the door. She noticed his eyes meet her gaze and then glance away; she wondered why and quickly realized that it was her somewhat revealing nightgown and Marlena smiled with embarassment, but on the inside she was saying, 'Well, at least I know he's still affected by the sight of me. "Oh, I..uh better put my robe on, excuse me for a second," was what she said to him.

His attention still directed toward her beauty, he stammered slightly in responding, "Uh...yea...that's..probably a good idea, Doc." What he wanted to say was, 'Oh, Marlena you are still the most naturally beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.' He felt his breathing quicken a little as he watched her walk across the room to retrieve the robe she had mentioned.

With her back turned she smiled gleefully. She said to herself, 'Oh, Roman..I'm so glad to know you're still attracted to me. At least that aspect of this situation won't hurt my chances with you.' Turning toward him she asked, "So, are the twins awake yet?"

"No, they're still out. You wanna watch em sleep? They still look like little angels when they're asleep, Doc."

Marlena sighed with mixed emotions, part of her glad that was true and the other sad for having missed more than a thousand other chances to see their angelic faces as they slept peacefully. "Yes, please let's go before they wake up. I've missed so much and I don't want to lose another opportunity to see them like that."

"I know, Doc and I'm so sorry for that, I wish...I..."

She cut him off before he could say it, "Stop it, Roman, it's not your fault at all, so quit blaming yourself for not knowing what happened to me, okay? she implored.

"Okay...Marlena, I'll quit, but I am really sorry about what you missed and I'll do whatever I can to help you get as much of what you lost back as soon as you possibly can, allright?"

"It's a deal, Roman," she said as they headed down the hallway toward the room where Sami and Eric were sleeping. Roman opened the door just enough so that she could see them and she sighed with contentment, at last she could see her babies. 'They're not babies anymore,' she reminded herself, 'They're seven year olds. Wow...seven, my twins are seven years old, how is that possible?' she asked silently.

Guessing about what she was thinking, Roman touched her on the shoulders to gain her attention and said, "They need you so much, you know that. They might not need you to feed them or change a diaper, but they need you more than you can ever know, Marlena."

Her heart melted at his thoughtfulness. "How do you always know just what to say that will make me feel better?" she asked as she turned to him with a wide smile on her face.

"Oh, I don't know if that's true, but I do know that what I just said is completely true. I did the best I could and I loved em, but Doc...they needed their mother and I am so glad you're going to be here for them."

Marlena sighed with relief and agreed, "Oh, Roman, so am I. I can't wait until they're awake."

"You know, we should probably come up with a game plan here, I mean we haven't really talked about what we were going to say. Do you have any ideas? This is your field."

She smiled, he wanted her to handle it. "Well, yes I guess it is. Hmm, how about you show them my pictures and talk about what happened and then tell them it was a big mistake and now I'm back and want to see them. Then you bring me in and we see what happens. How does that sound?"

Marlena made it sound so simple and Roman couldn't think of anything better so he replied affirmatively, "Well, you make it seem so easy, I guess that will work. Okay, then that's the plan," he said with a smile of anticipation on his face.

They stood outside the door admiring their children in silence and there was a strong sense of connection, reminding them of the love that created those two precious lives. Both Roman and Marlena wanted to say something about it and started to talk at the same time. Roman said, "Marlena I...just want to say..." and she said, "Roman..seeing them.." They looked at each other and smiled, surmising what was happening and then Roman said, "Ladies first, Doc."

She sighed as she gazed up into his inviting eyes and said, "Okay, then, what I was going to say was..seeing the twins sleeping like this reminded me of how strong our we were, how much we loved each other."

Still looking in on them, he wrapped his muscular arms around her from behind and said, "Me too, Doc. I was thinking the exact same thing. We were...amazing, weren't we?"

Wistfully, she said, "Yes....we were wonderful together, Roman. I wish... oh, never mind.." She let her voice trail off quietly.

Roman gently turned her around and touched her tenderly on the cheeks with his right hand and said, "No, tell me, what do you wish?"

The tenderness made her ache for him even more and she told him the truth, "Oh, Roman...you know already. I wish it could be like that for us again. I still love you that much." Marlena looked into his eyes and she could see how torn he was, as if he was divided into two equal parts and one part wanted to tell her and show her that he loved her the same way too. She didn't want to think about the other one.

It was true, part of him wanted so much to give her what she wanted, to just tell her that he realized she was still his wife and therefore his commitment to her was in full force, that he would go to Isabella and break it off for good. But another part of him felt as though that love was in the past, it was dead and carefully buried in a special corner of his heart and he didn't know quite how to make it come alive again. He still wanted to touch her, but it felt strangely awkward in this moment and he dropped his hands back down to his sides. "I'm....sorry Marlena, I....I'm not ready to... I...care so much about you, you know that, but I...don't know what's going to happen next. I'm so sorry, but I..can't do any better than that right now."

She sighed again, the warm moment was gone as quickly as it came. That other love was in the way. "Oh, Roman....I...I think I'll just..go get a shower and then we can...tell the kids about me." She turned quickly away from him to hide the moisture in her eyes and made it behind the shelter of the guest room door before he even had a chance to react.

He hurried down the hall and knocked lightly. "Wait, Marlena.. please talk to me," he said through the closed door. As he waited, staring at the little nicks and inconsistencies in the paint job, he said quietly, "I'm sorry, Doc." Finally, she rose from the bed where she was sitting and opened it slowly, and just looked at him sadly, "Marlena, I'm really sorry about all this confusion, but I won't lie to you or pretend I'm not torn between you and Isabella. Yesterday, I was..celebrating my engagement to her and I..thought you were long gone from my life. Now, you're back and everything is changing so fast. I just...don't know how to handle it all yet, can you please try to understand?"

She nodded, tearfully, "Yes...I can try, Roman. I just love you so much...it's so hard! Could you just...hold me for a minute?"

He took her tenderly into his grasp, wrapping his arms around her and said softly, "Oh, Doc don't cry.... please don't cry. I'm here...I'm here. I...love you too."

Holding her was like basking in the summer sun, it felt warm and safe and the memories started coming back, one in particular. It was their honeymoon and they were being playful, teasing each other. The fun and laughter served as the foreplay to their lovemaking. He remembered the day at the park in West Virginia with fondness, they were locked in a loving embrace, he was slowly lowering her to the ground, kissing her all the way down. As the summer breezes blew gently through their hair, he caressed the creamy soft skin of her face and ran his fingers through her silky tresses, mesmerized by her beauty. The love they made that day was incredible, it was like they literally became one being in the moment of their joining, as though their love was a bright and shining example of all that God intended love to be.

"Roman...honey...are you allright?" he heard from a distance, his mind still immersed in that blissful memory. She had ended the hug, but he hadn't noticed, so warm were the sensations stimulated by the recollection.

"Huh...Oh, I..uh I was just..remembering something."

Intrigued, she asked, "Remembering what?"

For some reason he felt suddenly nervous and shy and he stammered a little, "Uh... it. was, it was...our.. honeymoon, that..day in the park."

He didn't need to say more about it, his eyes and body language told her exactly what he was remembering and every detail came to her mind's eye. "Oh, was it a pleasant memory, Roman?" she asked with a slightly sensuous expression on her face, knowing full well what he was recalling.

His face flushed mildly and he averted his gaze while he said, "Uh.. yea, you could say that. I was...remembering the...love, Doc.." Suddenly feeling more comfortable, he looked into her uncertain eyes and added, "..the love we felt and the...love we made. Marlena, I haven't forgotten, it's just...pretty confusing for me right now."

She reached up to touch his face and said, "I know...I'm sorry if it feels like I'm pressuring you, that is not my intention, Roman."

He took a deep breath and let it out and then said, "Good, well now that we have that settled for the moment, why don't you get that shower you were talking about and I'll go get breakfast started. Then, before you know it the kids will be up. Today's gonna be an exciting day for all of us, Doc!" he said with enthusiasm. Just before she entered the bathroom, he leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek and that simple brief contact had its effects on both of them. As Marlena was about to close the door, she glanced back at Roman and their eyes met and lingered. No more words were uttered, but their eyes spoke volumes. The love was there and it was going to be rekindled, moment by moment, memory by memory. Roman was going to gradually rediscover the deep and abiding love he felt for Marlena. That love as well as the intense and overwhelming desire he had for her, and the rock-solid trust and friendship that was the foundation for the relationship were all going to rise from deep in his heart and soul, and one day Roman and Marlena would be together in love again, as they were always meant to be.

The door slowly closed and Roman went on down the stairs to make breakfast. He made himself busy with cooking and the time passed quickly. As he stood looking out the window, he gazed out at the sun that was shining brightly now, the clouds having drifted off to parts unknown. His heart felt light, this was going to be a great day, he just knew it. Roman turned around when he heard footsteps and Marlena was standing before him as beautiful as ever, and he felt his breath leave him for a second or two. She was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a crisp white oxford shirt in which she looked splendid and his face bore a wide grin. She smiled warmly in return and he sighed with contentment and then said cheerfully with a double meaning, "Good morning Sunshine!"