Part 6

Marlena sat in the steamy tub. She remembered last night, the comments made back and forth between her and Kristen, and Roman defending her, John kissing Kristen. Tears welled up in her eyes. Kristen had the engagement ring. HER engagement ring! Well at least ONE good thing had happened last night... she had found out that Laura returned the feelings she had begun to suspect Roman had for her. That thought would have mad her happy if it wasn't so bittersweet. At least Roman and Laura could be happy. But as for her and John... well she guessed she had pushed him to far, waited to long to tell Roman. John was such a passionate man, he needed someone, she just wished it didn't have to be Kristen. The tears that had filled her eyes began to fall. She had lost him. She had nothing but herself and Belle. Her twins didn't even want her happiness. Only Carrie...ROMAN's daughter wanted her to be happy. Well, maybe she would take Belle and go back to Colorado. She could start a new life. Even if she could NEVER find a love like the father of her baby girl, maybe she could find some.... serenity. She washed her face and force away her tears. Serenity. She thought of the poem that often graced the front of greeting cards... God give me the strength to change the things I can, The grace to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference. She already had the wisdom...but she didn't know where she would find serenity in accepting. Maybe Colorado would be where she could find it. She hated taking Belle away from her father and her brother...and her whole family she knew. But if Belle was the only connection she had to John... nothing would ever separate her and her child. Somehow she would find a way to get on with her life...for the sake of her sweet little Belle. If for nothing else.

Marlena stepped from the tub and released the drain. She wrapped a soft blue bath sheet around her. For a moment she watched the water swirling down. Momentarily lapsing into self pity she watched the water drain... down the drain like her life she thought bitterly. Determined not to think like that she forced herself back to the task at hand and roughly began drying herself. She had alot of planning and packing to do today. And she would have to let Sean and Caroline know she was leaving...tonight... and for good. She wrapped a white silky robe around her, after she ate a bit she would dress and begin to pack. She looked in the mirror. Why she looked better already. Picking up the brush she was about to begin, when a image from last night filled her head John ... Framed in moonlight stroking her hair... Oh if only that had been true. It couldn't have been. He hadn't been here. She had... she had what? Drank her self silly last night. That's all it had been. A drunken dream. But she had done that down stairs, and she had awakened in her bed. Then how had she gotten up the stairs? And into bed? Maybe Roman? No. He would have been angry. They would have argued and she would have remembered that. More likely she found her way up the stairs and went to bed before her got home last night. Drawing the brush through her hair she realized she would have to explain to Roman why she was packing. And he was somewhere in this house... but she hoped he'd gone to the police station. Then she could just leave a letter. She just couldn't handle another confrontation today. She was emotionally drained. She walked into her bedroom. The door was opened and a single silvery balloon was floating along her ceiling. Roman must have brought some home last night from the party. For Belle and Brady. If there was one thing she did like about him...it was his love of children. She owed him the truth to his face. Reluctantly, she slid on her matching slippers and headed for his room across the hall.

Downstairs....

John had been up for hours. Showered, shaved and dressed in his suit. He anxiously adjusted the tie Marlena had bought for him. He could never get it *quite* right without her help. Just one of the hundred small reasons he needed her he thought. He had to make every thing up to her he thought and nervously raked his hand through his hair. He could not hear a no today. He surveyed the living room... more accurately he surveyed his work. The ceiling was flooded with silver and pink balloons. Ribbons hung down festively. Everywhere pink roses filled silver vases. A huge banner took up most of the wall behind him. Shiny silver again, with pink lettering. The perfect lettering announced what he wanted the whole world to know. " I Love You, Doc! " He had lit the fire, since it was an unusually cold day... even for New Years. The sunlight streamed through the blinds on the windows spilling strips onto the roses and making the silver vases shine. A table one again following the color scheme he had decided would please her the most was set in the center of the room. On it in was a spray of the finest baby pink roses that could be found in Salem. Threaded throughout were silvery ribbons. The finest china was set for one. On the plate was a velvety box and a note addressed to her. A note he hoped she would want to hear. He shuddered to think of her saying no... and after last night, she very well could. Pangs of guilt flooded him for what happened at the party, but he didn't have time to dwell on that, for he heard her tub draining upstairs, and knew she would come down very soon. He stood nervous in the center of the room. She would have doubts, but he hoped he could reassure her. He did have one thing that might make everything fine... When he called Laura this morning to find out how everything had gone with Roman, Roman had answered! He said he knew everything, and though he didn't like being lied to, he understood. And then he had told John he wished them the best, and that he was fine with everything, besides, he would have ended things with Marlena soon. When John asked why, Roman simple said, "John, I'm in love with Doc's best friend.... I was going to leave her to persue Laura... but since everything's in the clear, and Laura feels the same, there is no one to get hurt. Now, I'm going to enjoy my morning, and around noon I'm going to the pub with Laura to clarify things with Mom and Pop, so let Doc know for me, and tell her I hope there will be no hard feelings...from either of us." John smiled, If that couldn't have been more perfect to clear the way for them nothing could! He (more calmly now, after mentally reassuring himself) waited. Now the only thing he had to explain was the ring, but as he reached into his pocket and clasped the small ring box inside, he felt that this would more than make up for that.

Back upstairs.....

Marlena noticed the door to Romans room was open and gently knocked as she peered in. Roman wasn't in there, he must be downstairs. As she turned she noticed the bed. It was still made. And as she walked over, the same ties he had been choosing between were still on the bed. So was his towel from last night... right where he had left it. (Just like he always did... he never hung he towels! she thought) He had never come home! Well, he must must have been so angry he went to pub instead of here. She decided to go downstairs have some breakfast and call the pub. In that order. She wasn't looking forward to Romans anger, besides, maybe she should go over there. It would help to have Roman with his family when she explained everything.

She began descending the stairs. And looked into her living room. There in the middle of the room was John. And flowers... tons of flowers .. and balloons... filling the ceiling.... and a fire warming the room. And John. Her gaze drifted to the banner above him. "I love you Doc" John watched her reaction carefully. She shut her eyes tightly and put her hands over her face! He quickly moved forward. And as he was about to reach out to her he heard her sobs. John winced! His first thoughts were of her pain. She must have been expecting Roman! She was going to be even more hurt when she found out Roman was with Laura!

Then it HIT him!

Oh God, she didn't want him anymore!