Marlena's hand lingered on the telephone as she considered what John had told her about Roman's reaction to the news of their renewed love relationship and plans to marry. It was disturbing to her, she was sure John had toned it down somewhat for her benefit. It sounded as though Roman was violently angry at them for lying to him, the supposedly forgotten jealousy and bitterness making its way powerfully to the surface in John's presence. Then a few hours later he was sweet and loving and he seemed so weak and vulnerable with her. Was it all an act, a ploy to gain her sympathy and drive a wedge between she and John as John had intimated. Marlena had a hard time believing that the Roman she knew could ever do anything so devious, so manipulative. 'Not my Roman.... no, it just can't be, John must be mistaken about that part of it,' she was saying inside her mind when she was jarred out of her troubled contemplation by a knock on the bedroom door.

Quickly putting on a robe as she walked, Marlena answered the door to see Roman fully dressed and grinning at her. "Merry Christmas, Doc!" he said excitedly.

Putting on a cheerful expression of her own, she replied, "Merry Christmas, Roman. How are you feeling this morning?" she asked, wondering again about what John had said regarding him faking the symptoms.

"Great right now. You know how much I love Christmas and seeing you first thing in the morning is the best medicine I could ever have, Marlena. I'm so glad you chose to spend Christmas with me and our children, it's going to be wonderful, just like old times, Doc!" The way he emphasized the word chose, made it appear as though he was trying to impress upon her who she really loved, him, and not John. She didn't have long to process that thought as she was distracted by the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

Another happy voice was heard, "It sure is.. maybe the first of many happy Brady family Christmases to come, right Mom?" Eric asked as he came up behind his father, not able to stop himself from exerting more pressure on her. He desperately wanted to recreate the perfect family he envisioned and though he wanted her to be happy, his own needs seemed to take precedence at times.

Roman put his arm around Eric as he answered, "I sure hope it is, son... After almost dying like I did, I plan to treasure every moment with the people I love... and that means you, your sisters and your mother. How about you Doc, isn't that what you said you wanted to do too?" he asked, stoking the fire of guilt.

Marlena replied to Roman's question, "Yes.. I feel the same way, Roman. Well, what are we waiting for, let's go have some breakfast together. If Sami is awake, then we can get right to the... presents."

Roman smiled warmly, "That always was one of your favorite parts... if I recall correctly." Thinking back to simpler times, Roman said, "God, I miss those early days, Doc.. when there was no.." 'When there was no.. John Black in our lives.' That was what he was thinking, but he managed not to say it, that would be too much, but he had gotten his point across quite nicely without completing the sentence.

It hurt her to think of life without John, and yet there were some moments when she looked back with fondness at the first few years of her relationship with Roman and asked the what if questions. Suddenly she told herself firmly, 'No, Marlena...that part of your life is over, and you love only John now. We have a beautiful little girl born from our love and your heart belongs to him. I don't want to go back anymore,' she concluded.' However, to Roman and the children she said, "Those are some very happy memories, Roman.. and I do treasure them, but our lives are...different now." Wanting to move things along she said, "Now, what do you say we make some new ones this morning?" she asked, cleverly changing the subject.

Recognizing that he was making her uncomfortable, he agreed, "Sounds great, Doc.. let's go on downstairs, I've got coffee brewing already and Eric and I stopped by that bakery you love so much yesterday. We got those cinnamon rolls you were talking about last week."

She was touched by his thoughtfulness and said so, "Oh, Roman... Eric you are so sweet to me, thank you for remembering."

As they reached the first floor, Roman touched her on the arm and said, "Anything for you, Doc.. I'd do anything to make you happy, you ought to know that by now." Almost every comment was designed to rekindle any lingering feelings of love toward him as well as remind her of her guilt about having hurt him before and for lying to him a second time around. That last one was tricky because he didn't want to give himself away, he intended to skirt the issue that he had talked with John and knew everything about Marlena's love for the other man and the couple's wedding plans.

Marlena blushed slightly and said, "Oh, please.... stop, Roman. You're going to spoil me."

Waiting until Eric was on his way into the kitchen, Roman said sweetly, "You got that right, Doc... I want to spoil you rotten, for the rest of your life, if you'll let me...that is. I love you so much, Marlena," he finished passionately as he pulled her into a warm embrace.

It felt good to have him holding her, he seemed more like the man she remembered. With tears of joy in her eyes, she shared her feelings about his recovery, "Oh, Roman...I'm so glad you're going to be allright now. The thought of losing you...was terrifying. I care so much for you and I always will."

Before they could go any further with the conversation, Sami came down the stairs carrying Will, "Merry Christmas everyone, I think somebody is getting a little anxious to see what Santa brought him. Could we..go ahead and open some presents?" she asked pleasantly, feeling very happy to be with the family.

"Yeah... presents, I love to open the presents too! Can we Mommy, please?" asked a very excited Belle, who came bounding down the stairs, scooting around Sami and racing into her mother's loving arms.

Roman put his arm around Marlena's shoulders and responded for all of them, "Well, I don't think you'll get any objection from your mother on that suggestion. Let's get to it!" Roman said excitedly as he stepped away from Marlena with a happy grin on his face. He indicated he wanted to hold his grandchild and accepted little Will from Sami, walking over to the tree to find a gift for the small boy. That was an amazing concept to him, 'Roman Brady, a grandfather...wow!' he thought.

Sami, Eric and Marlena watched him with Will and their faces bore contented smiles to see him so full of life. Sami said, "Mom.. I want to thank you for choosing to spend Christmas with your real family, it's really wonderful to see Daddy so happy with all of us around him. Look at him with Will, isn't it great to have us all together?" she asked, wanting her mother to acknowledge the love she once had for her father, and subsequently to let that love be reborn. She wished with all her might that her mother would find it in her heart to marry him, instead of John Black, the man who in her eyes had destroyed their family and ruined all their lives.

Marlena smiled pleasantly, put Belle down and gave the little girl her Christmas Stocking and replied to the intended meaning of her older daughter's question, "Yes..it is wonderful and I am very glad to spend this time with you, Eric, Carrie and your father, but... Sami, you have to accept that my heart belongs to John. He is the man I love, the man I want to spend my future with, and I will marry him one day when Roman is strong enough to hear the whole truth...directly from me." The way she hesitated made it seem like Roman knew something about John and Marlena.

Before Sami could inquire exactly what her mother meant by her last statement, the doorbell chime interrupted them. Eric was a step closer to the door and opened it to find Carrie and Austin standing outside. "Merry Christmas!" they said at the same time, as they crossed the threshold and entered the penthouse. "Merry Christmas!" cried a chorus of other Brady family members.

Marlena snuck back upstairs and got dressed in jeans and a Christmas sweater and in ten more minutes, the whole Brady family settled down around the tree to pass out and open the plentiful number of gifts. It was wonderful to share the holiday and fun to watch how excited Will was with the all the cars, trucks and other toys he received. For her part, Belle was quite pleased with the pastel colored Duplo set and she especially loved the dolls and dress-up clothes she was given. Belle and Will were both so sweet and adorable. Their innocent joy and excitement was contagious and everyone focused a lot of attention on them. Roman's eyes, however, were on Marlena much of the time, trying to assess her reaction to having her older children around her, to the strong familial love that permeated the room. She laughed a lot and seemed to be truly happy to be with him and the others and he thought maybe there was still a chance for him with her, if he played his cards correctly.

After things seemed to settle down a little, Roman reached over to take Marlena by the hand and guide her over to the tree. He found a small box and picked it up, giving it to her and saying, "Merry Christmas, Doc. I can only hope that this is the first of many we can share."

She was touched by the love in his voice and the thought of hurting him again stabbed her with guilt and sorrow. 'Dear God... please help me find a way to tell him the honest truth.. today, help him to understand why we went along with Kristen's lie and help him accept the love John and I share.' She took the box in her hand and began to open it slowly, wondering what he had done. Inside it were two things, a key and another small box, she knew what it had to be. "Oh, Roman.... honey," she said with a strange mix of emotions in her voice.

"Open it, Doc...please," he urged. "Then, I'll explain it to you."

She complied and inside the smaller velvet covered box was a ring, identical to her original engagement ring. It brought tears to her eyes and she wasn't sure whether it was because she felt sad for him, guilt for having to hurt him by turning him down, or.. some renewal of those same feelings she had on the day he first slipped the ring on her finger. "Oh... Roman.. my engagement ring.. how did you.." she said emotionally.

"I went to the jeweler with a picture from the wedding and had it made, Doc. It's a perfect match of the one I gave you, only with a bigger stone."

Marlena was completely overwhelmed by his romantic gesture, "You touch me so... I don't know what to say, Roman."

"Say yes!" said three enthusiastic voices, Roman's Eric's and Sami's as well, the twins had overheard what their father was saying and couldn't resist chiming in. Marlena was suddenly jolted back to the reality of her situation as she looked up into their expectant faces. Carrie shot her a supportive look which helped a little. She had to say something and it couldn't be what they wanted and yet.... how could she tell Roman in this way... it would hurt him terribly. 'Oh, God.. what can I do, what can I say?' she was asking, when she was saved for the moment by the sound of the phone ringing. She hurried to answer it,"I'll get it," she said, while simultaneously breathing a tremendous sigh of relief to have been given a momentary reprieve.

"Doc...it's me, I'm sorry to interrupt your time with the family, but... I.. was.. wondering if... you could... come over to the hotel.. for Brady. I'm... not.. feeling so good right now and I....." It was John and he definitely sounded sick, his voice was shaky and weak and he groaned and then stopped talking to her in mid-sentence.

"John... are you allright? John!" she cried fearfully, not at all cognizant or concerned about how closely she was being watched at the moment. "John... honey, talk to me.. what's wrong?"

As she had a fleeting thought about how the situation was much like her upsetting nightmare, Marlena heard Brady's fearful voice on the phone, "Momma... Daddy is sick to his tummy, he said it's just the flu...but his head is hot and he seems real sick. Can you come see us, please? I'm kinda... scared."

It was difficult, but she managed to keep the fear from touching her voice and reassured the little boy, "Yes... sweetheart, I'll be right there, just stay close to Daddy and wait for me, okay? It's going to be allright, Brady."

He felt better already, just knowing Mommy Marlena was coming to help his Daddy, "Okay... momma, I will." After hanging up, Brady sat down on the carpeted floor next to the couch and held his father's warm hand saying, "It's okay, Daddy.. Mommy's coming to help us.... don't worry, she'll take good care of you."

John struggled to respond, he could tell his little boy was frightened and needed to be reassured. Squeezing his son's hand in return, he said in a whisper, "You're right.. slugger, Marlena always knows what to do... don't you worry about me, I'll be okay. You just play with your toys and watch the video and she'll be here soon." Suddenly, the nausea was intense and he groaned and clutched his belly, "Oh, God!" He was feeling so weak now, but he miraculously made it to a standing position and staggered into the bathroom to vomit... again. He had done it so much in such a short period of time, there wasn't much left in his gut and the muscles of his abdomen ached with the repeated exertion. When he was finished, he managed to wash his mouth out and clean his face and he almost made it safely back to the couch, collapsing in a heap on the cold tile floor of the bathroom. Hearing different sounds than he did before, Brady came running, arriving just in time to see his father hit the ground after having tried unsuccessfully to ease himself down.

Hurrying to the fallen figure of his father, Brady cried, "Oh, Daddy... please wake up!" he pleaded with tears in his eyes. Sitting on his knees at John's side, he started rocking and saying, "Mommy's coming soon... Mommy's coming soon," he repeated it several times to assuage his own fears. John couldn't respond to his pleas, he was unconscious for the moment.

Marlena turned to see three disturbed faces. Carrie was the only one who seemed to care about John. "Marlena... what's wrong with John?" she asked worriedly.

As Marlena was about to answer, Belle, who had overheard her mother's phone conversation, came rushing over and asked worriedly, "Is Daddy real sick Mommy? He said he had a little tummy ache yesterday, but Daddy told me it was because he ate too many of our yummy Christmas cookies."

After smiling briefly on the image of him eating several of the cookies their children had made, she swiftly snapped back to the potential seriousness of the situation. Wishing she had a better answer for her little girl and her big girl, Marlena said, "Oh... sweety, I don't really know.. he was talking to me and his voice trailed off, he said he didn't feel good and he sounded horrible. Then Brady picked up the phone and said that John was sick to his stomach. John must have told him he thought he had the flu, but he seems very sick and Brady is frightened."

"Oh my gosh! I wonder what else it could be," replied Carrie with alarm.

Belle added her own thoughts, "I want my Daddy to feel better and be happy with me and and Bwady and Mommy. He said all he wants for Christmas is for us to be a real family."

Sami glared resentfully at her mother, and then pulled her twin brother out on to the balcony and said snidely, "Yea.. right, I'm sure...he's really sick, it's probably just a trick to get Mom over there to see him."

"Yea...you're probably right," agreed Eric hastily, then thought better of it. He remembered his talk with John the other night and backtracked. "Actually, Sami I don't think he would do something like that, it's not his style. He's really a pretty good guy, I just want Mom and Dad to be happy and I wish they could be together again."

"Since when did you and John get to be so chummy again?" asked Sami in disbelief. "I thought you hated him as much as I do."

Her brother shook his head, and said, "No... I never really hated him, I just wanted him to step aside and let Dad and Mom find their love again, but I'm starting to realize that something like that can't be forced. Knowing how his sister might react, Eric was hesitant to tell her all of his thoughts, but decided honesty was best, "I also realized that..John isn't the bad guy in this scenario." After pausing to let that sink in, he added, "I remembered when we were really little and he thought she was dead; he was so sad without Mom, Sami.. but he tried to make us feel good about what we did to cheer him up. Do you remember that?"

Sami did remember it, quite clearly, but didn't want to recall those memories. Instead, she preferred to obliterate the years when John raised her as his own daughter from her mind. It was too difficult and confusing to recall how happy he could make her, how special and loved she felt when he smiled with pride at some little accomplishment or held her in his loving arms. He read her stories at night, comforted her when she was sick, encouraged her when she was down, made her feel safe when she was afraid; he had been a warm and loving presence in her life for several important early years, but she couldn't acknowledge that fact now. She fought hard to force those memories down and hang onto the fierce anger and resentment she had been harboring toward John ever since the night she had seen him having sex with her mother in a Titan boardroom. "No.. Eric! I don't ever think about those times, it was all a lie, he wasn't really our father!" she said bitterly.

Hearing her say it reminded him of the incident when they both said he had lied to them about being their father. It had hurt the man deeply, even as a young boy, he had recognized that fact. Touching her on the shoulder, he shared his changing attitude toward John, "Sami, he believed he was, we all did and he loved us a lot and... we loved him too. John was the only parent we had for a long time and I think it's time we gave him some credit for it. Sami... he loves Mom very much and he always has, and... John stayed here, he's been here for her when she's needed him. I hate to admit this, but Dad... he left us all for a long time. Mom wanted him to stay and work things out, but he didn't and she just..doesn't love him in the same way any more. I think we both need to find some way to accept that and let her be happy with John."

Sami was positively shocked to hear her brother talk this way about the man she had hated for several years, the man she blamed for most of her problems. And to hear her twin level even the slightest criticism on their father was akin to blasphemy and she let him have it. "Eric! I can't believe what I am hearing, you are blaming Dad? He was so hurt and angry, they betrayed him in the worst way and he left because of that pain! And now, all he wants is to have his family back and you're saying we should just let Mom and John be happy together, at his expense? You are a traitor to this family, Eric, just like Carrie is and I'll never forgive you for this!" Sami stormed out into the living room, picked up her son, snatched her coat and left without saying a word to anyone else. Roman made a move to slow her down, but she was nowhere to be seen when he got down to the entrance of the building. Wondering what could have upset her so much, he decided he would check on her later in the day.

Marlena noticed how distressed Sami had been and was concerned, but was on the phone with the hospital to find out how badly the winter storm that had descended upon Salem in the night was affecting ambulance transportation, just in case it became necessary for John. Carrie stood supportively by Marlena's side, and she held Belle in her arms while waiting for the vital information. What Marlena learned did not reassure her in the least, there were accidents all over the city and the snow was still coming down very heavily, there were long delays. Five minutes later, she was fidgeting, clearly anxious to leave and go to the aide of the man she loved with all her heart. Roman, who had returned from chasing Sami, stood silently by, formulating a plan. In the end, he decided he needed to support her honestly this time and keep her safe from harm, "Let me take you over there, Doc... I can see that you're pretty worried about John and Brady and you probably shouldn't be driving. The roads are pretty slick from what I can tell."

She sighed with immense weariness, knowing she should argue, and go alone, but she just didn't have the strength. "Allright, Roman.. thank you," was all she said in response. Carrie and Austin volunteered to stay with Belle and within a few more minutes, Roman, Marlena, and Eric were on their way out the door. As they rode together in a powerful silence, Marlena remembered the dream in detail, how John was so weak and feverish, lying so still and unresponsive at first, how the children prayed for his recovery, how he finally seemed to respond to the medication, how his heart had unexpectedly stopped just before she woke up and realized it was all just a dream. It was almost happening the same way in real life. She opened up her heart, mind and spirit in prayer, "Dear God... please keep John safe, let this just be a simple flu like he thought it was. Please watch over him for me, Lord."