Fading Memories
By Terri D. Thomas
Part 2
Daniel glanced at Teal'c as the large man followed him up the steps to his apartment. The Jaffa had a baseball cap pulled low over his brow so as to hide the golden tattoo which marked him as Apophis' First Prime in a former life.
Daniel wasn't sure it was really necessary to hide the mark. He had spent enough time in tribal communities to have seen body markings and piercings which were far more unusual. . .and severe. However, if his friend was more comfortable hiding the tattoo while mingling amongst the Tauri then who was Daniel to question it.
Daniel unlocked his apartment and held the door open so that Teal'c could enter.
"You want something to drink? I have some pop. I think there's beer in the fridge."
Teal'c shook his head. "No, thank you, I am not thirsty."
"Oh. . .okay. Well, make yourself at home. I just want to change into something more comfortable if we're going to go out."
"We have already been out."
"Well. . .yeah, but I mean if we're going out tonight."
"Ah. . .," Teal'c nodded. The Jaffa watched his friend exit the living room, leaving the man alone. He glanced around the room. Memories of the last time he was here returned. At that time, Teal'c was certain that he would never see the young anthropologist alive again. He had seen Daniel burn to death. . .he remembered that memory as if it had happened yesterday. . .as if it had truly happened. However, that memory was false. It had been planted in his mind, in all of their minds so that they would abandon Daniel. Teal'c looked upon that incident with shame. He had failed Daniel on all accounts. He had been deceived into believing a lie. Afterwards, he had made a promise to himself to never make that mistake again.
He approached the bookcase on the far wall. Pictures taken of Daniel and his past were scattered on the top shelf. On the middle shelf he saw the same journals that O'Neill and Carter had examined on that emotion-filled afternoon when they took it upon themselves to pack Daniel's things. The journals were notes of the planets SG-1 had visited over the past few months. They were the chronicles of their adventures captured for all time.
One book in particular caught his eye. It was the journal Daniel had written about his time on Abydos. Teal'c had never been on that planet. It was a part of Ra's territory. . .a place where no Jaffa of Apophis was welcome.
Teal'c started to grab the book. . .then hesitated. These memories were private. The only reason the team had read them before was because they had thought Daniel was dead. . .lost to them forever.
"Go ahead," a quiet voice said from behind.
Teal'c's hand froze in mid-motion. He turned to the young man, regret clearly in his expressive brown eyes. "I am sorry Daniel Jackson. I did not mean to violate your privacy."
Daniel smiled at the man. "It's okay. I wrote them for the purpose that they would be read. . .someday. . .by someone. It might as well be you."
Teal'c shook his head. "No. I do not want to make you feel uncomfortable."
Daniel approached the man, reached past him and pulled the Abydos journal from the shelf. "You're my friend, Teal'c. You couldn't make me feel that way."
Teal'c's vision dropped to the floor. In all of his years as a Jaffa warrior for Apophis he had never experienced such since of comradeship. . .such a feeling of brotherhood. Bratac had been a mentor. . .a teacher. His fellow Jaffa were brothers-in-arms. . .but never more. SG-1. . .his team. . .was so much more. Regardless, Teal'c hesitated to grab the book, despite Daniel's encouragement.
Daniel smiled at him again, his blue eyes clearly indicating that he wanted, even needed to have the words read by someone who would care, who would understand.
Teal'c opened the book. The words were in the Tauri's English, which he still had some difficulty reading. He had been practicing, but had a long way to go.
He did recognized words, however. He saw the words 'Stargate', 'travelers', 'O'Neill'. He glanced through more of the pages and saw words that broke his heart. Skaara was there. . .and Shaur'i. These names brought enormous guilt down on the man's soul. Often times his meditation had been invaded with his regrets about having taken these two people from Daniel and O'Neill. He tried to reason with himself that he couldn't change the past. . .but that didn't take away the pain and shame that sometimes consumed him.
He flipped through a few more pages. A loose sheet of paper fell from the journal. Teal'c's eyes widened as he prepared to apologize for having broken the binding of the book. Daniel picked up the sheet of paper and stared at it. "It's okay. . .I put this in it. I couldn't work on it anymore," Daniel whispered.
Teal'c didn't know what was on the sheet of paper, but he could see the effect it was having on the young man. His blue eyes where bright with unshed tears. Daniel handed the paper to Teal'c. It was a partially penciled sketch of a woman. Teal'c immediately recognized the darkened locks of hair and the shining, smiling eyes of Daniel's wife. "You drew this?" Teal'c asked.
Daniel nodded. "I. . .I didn't have a picture of her. I wanted. . .," his voice trailed off.
Teal'c turned to the man, head tilted. He waited patiently for the husband to gain control of his emotions. "I wanted to remember her. I was afraid. . .I was afraid that I would forget what she looked like." Teal'c saw a single tear leave the man's eye. Daniel wiped it harshly from his face and then turned away. "Guess it was a stupid idea. I couldn't. . .I just couldn't bring myself to finish it."
Teal'c could only think of one thing to say. "I am sorry, Daniel Jackson." The words sounded as hollow today as they had months ago when he had apologized for having taken Shaur'i away from the man.
Daniel shook his head. "I've told you before, you don’t need to apologize."
"I do not how to change what I have done."
"It's not up to you to change what happened, Teal'c. We've all lost something in this battle. . .including you," Daniel countered. "You more than any of us."
Teal'c tilted his head. Daniel smiled. "Your wife and son have been taken away from you."
Teal'c's brown eyes added sadness to the regret they had held. He was silent for a long time. Then he held his head up high. "I will see my family again. Of this, I am certain."
Daniel nodded, wishing he could sound so confident. "Yeah. . .me too."
End Part 2
To Part 3