Faithfulness in the Center
Part 13
Kermit closed his eyes as his mind created pictures to fit the words coming from his friend's lips. Peter's voice filled his mind, "I went back to your apartment. I could see what you were dreaming and was concerned about what was happening to you. When you didn't answer your door, I came in and. . ."
Before Peter could complete the sentence, Kermit spoke, "I shot you."
Peter was silent for a moment. "I don't know who shot me. . .it could've been Stiles," he tried to reason.
"No. It was me. I shot you." Kermit's voice was quietly subdued, remembering the pleasure that he had taken in the act.
Peter nodded, suspecting that it was true. He had seen Kermit's perspective of the nightmare. . .he had felt his friend's satisfaction at inflicting the pain upon the younger cop.
"I'm not sure what happened after that. I think Stiles hit me and I passed out. I remember waking up in a dark room. . .a basement in an old building. Stiles was there and. . ."
Kermit interrupted again, "I was there, too." His eyes were closed, as his mind pieced together the images. "I was so angry at you for hurting Paul that all I wanted to do was hurt you. And I did."
"Kermit, it wasn't you. It was Stiles hurting me. You were just a tool he used to carry out his plan. You were no more in control of the situation than I."
"I should've fought him. . .I should've been stronger." Kermit's voice rose with anger.
Peter's voice similarly rose, "Damn it, Kermit. I asked you to listen to me. To listen to everything I had to say. You are jumping to conclusions and blaming yourself for something that wasn't your fault."
Kermit was suddenly silent. His head hurt as his mind flashed on the tortures he had inflicted on his friend.
* * *Kermit watched his enemy's blood run slowly from the head wound down the side of his face. Pleasure filled his being as he knew that he would now have revenge on the man who had killed Paul.
The man's eyes made contact with his, "Oh God, Kermit. Get me out of here."
Kermit gave the man an icy smile, knowing that now he was in control; that, this time, he would have power over his tormentor of the past. The man continued to plead, "Kermit, please. You have to get me out of here." "Kermit, what's wrong? Why are you here?"
Kermit walked behind the chair, stopping directly behind the bound man. He reached forward and rested a hand on the man's shoulder. "You know, paybacks are hell," he whispered in his captive's ear. The gratification of finally taking revenge for Paul was intoxicating.
"Kermit, what are you talking about?" The man tugged on the bindings, "You gotta get me out of here."
Kermit ignored his pleas and instead focused on the delight which was building inside. He whispered harshly in his prisoner's ear, "You thought you could break me. . .break Paul, but you didn't. . .you failed." He stood and walked in front of the bound man again. "You screwed up. You should have made sure that I didn't get out of Afghanistan alive."
The man shook his head, "Kermit, you're not making any sense."
Kermit stepped forward and grabbed his captive's chin, holding it tightly in his grasp, "I'll never forgive you for what you did to Paul. He was my best friend. . .I will have my revenge, I promise you that."
"Paul? Kermit stop it!" The man yelled with more force that Kermit thought possible. "I didn't do anything to Paul. . .What in the hell are you talking about?"
How could this son of a bitch deny what he did to Paul, Kermit thought angrily. Kermit stepped closer and kneeled down in front of the chair. He reached forward and placed a hand on the restrained arm. "Shut up," he said quietly to the prisoner. He didn't want to hear the man's lies any longer.
"Kermit? Why are you doing this? I don't understand." The captive continued to plead.
"If you don't shut up, I'll shut you up." Kermit made sure his response was cold and calculated.
"Kermit, listen to me. There's something wrong with you. Stiles has done something to you. . .you have to listen to me."
Kermit's anger got the best of him. His hand shot downward and grabbed at the bloody wound on the prisoner's side. The man's head fell forward, unconscious. Kermit's satisfaction was complete, "I told you I'd shut you up. Next time, listen."* * *
Kermit's eyes flew open, shock evident on his face, "Oh my God. . .what have I done," he whispered with a strained voice. He couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with Peter. He had tried to kill his friend. . .his best friend. . .his brother. He stood, continuing to mumble, as he walked to the window of his bedroom. "Oh my God. . .Oh my God." His right hand rubbed at his eyes as if trying to wipe away the images that Peter's recital had conjured up.
Peter approached the man from behind, resting a hand on his shoulder, "Kermit, please. You have to listen to all of it. Trust me."
"I don't want to hear any more. I've heard enough." His voice was shaking now. He continued to gaze out the window, keeping his back on the friend that he had betrayed.
"Kermit, you promised." Peter spun the man around roughly and pushed him back onto the bed. Kermit, surprised at the Shaolin's sudden move, didn't fight. "You are going to listen to me." Peter's voice was strong and deliberate.
"Remember, Stiles had given you a mind-altering drug. You weren't in control. There was nothing you could do to fight what he did."
"Bull shit, Peter." Kermit spat. "I've been drugged before. . .interrogated. . .tortured. . .I've never betrayed a friend." Kermit's head dropped in shame, "But I hurt you. . .and I enjoyed it."
Peter swallowed. His mind flashed on the sadistic smile that was plastered on Kermit's face during his captivity. He pushed the nightmare away. That Kermit had enjoyed inflicting the pain on the helpless cop. But that wasn't this Kermit. Peter knew that. . .accepted it. Now, how in the hell did he get Kermit to accept it?
His mind suddenly flashed on a saying that his father had taught him once. It was a passage from the 'I Ching': 'Faithfulness is truthfulness; faithfulness in
the center means truthfulness is within.' Suddenly, Peter could hear his father's voice in his mind. "Peter, he must accept what he has done. He can not deny the events of the past. . .he can only understand the truth, accept it and move forward."
Peter knew that his father's words were right. Peter had to let Kermit embrace the truth, as horrible as it was. "Yes, Kermit. You enjoyed it. Stiles had you believing that I was your enemy; that I killed Paul and tortured you. No, you weren't able to fight the drugs. . .but you did try to fight them. You probably don't remember but there was a time during my captivity that you began to understand that your memories were lies. I know that, given time, you would have known the truth and you would have stopped."
"But I didn't. I continued to hurt you." Kermit stood again to stare out the window, unable to face his friend.
"Yes. But Stiles drugged you again." Peter reasoned.
"I should've fought," the mercenary repeated.
"You tried to fight. But you weren't strong enough. You have to accept that and move on."
Kermit squeezed his eyes tightly closed. His next words were barely audible, "I don't think I can."
End Part 13
To Part 14