Love Is Not Enough
Conclusion
Cassy had returned to the hospital, unable to concentrate at work. Tom's state of mind worried her. Even though she knew she could not say what needed to be said to him, possibly she could comfort him just by being there.
She exited the elevator and approached the nurses' station. Nurse Schmidt was standing behind the counter, talking with another staff member.
"You're back. Couldn't help worrying about your partner, huh." The nurse smiled warmly at the police officer, knowing that the past couple of weeks had been especially difficult for her.
Cassy returned the smile and nodded, "Yeah. I tried working, but I just couldn't get into it. It's just not the same sitting at my desk and not having him around to hassle, so I thought I'd come down here and get it out of my system."
The nurse laughed, "He's lucky to have a friend like you."
Cassy blushed slightly, "Thanks. I'm pretty lucky to have him."
"That is a fact," the nurse responded succinctly.
"Is he awake?"
"Well, he was asleep the last time I checked on him about," she looked down at her watch, "twenty minutes ago."
The elevator doors opened again and Tom's parents exited. "Hi Cassy," Margaret smiled at her ex-daughter-in-law. She pulled the younger woman into a hug. "Liam said you were here earlier today to see Tom."
"Yeah. I just wanted to make sure he was doing okay. I was surprised to see him looking so well."
His mother beamed, "Isn't it great! I've been so worried about him."
Liam also smiled, putting his arms around the two women, "He's better because he has some very special women looking out for him." He kissed his wife on the cheek and pulled Cassy closer.
"You smooth talker you," Margaret punched her husband playfully. "Let's go visit our son."
The three headed down the hallway and saw the door to Tom's room was ajar. As Margaret pushed it open, Cassy whispered, "The nurse said he was asleep."
They walked into the room and then stopped in their collective tracks. The bed was empty.
"Not again," Cassy muttered as she pushed open the bathroom door, half expecting to see Tom collapsed on the floor.
"Where is he?" Margaret couldn't hide her confused look.
"I'll go ask the nurse." Liam exited the room swiftly.
Within seconds he had returned with Nurse Schmidt. "Where's Tommy?" Margaret asked the woman.
"I. . .I'm not sure. He was sleeping last I saw."
"Maybe Dr. Miller had him taken down for tests?" Cassy guessed.
"No. . .Dr. Miller is in surgery this afternoon. No tests were scheduled for Tom until tomorrow. Besides, an orderly would have checked with me before removing him from the room." The nurse was clearly worried.
She left the room and returned to the nurses' station, the family in tow. "Have you seen Sgt. Ryan?" she asked the other duty nurse.
The other woman shook her head, "He's not in his room?"
"No." She picked up the phone and dialed a number. "I need to have two orderlies sent to the nurses' station. We have a missing patient up here." She hung up, frustrated.
Cassy turned to Liam and Margaret, "Oh God, you don't think he tried to leave the hospital?"
"Why would he do that?" Margaret frowned.
"He was terribly upset about Erin this morning. . ." her voice trailed off.
Nurse Schmidt shook her head, "We would have seen him walk. . .I mean stagger by. He isn't in any shape to go very far. We have to find him, though, before he hurts himself again."
Cassy turned to the nurse, "If he didn't come by here then he has to be somewhere in this wing, right?" she pointed to the hallway leading towards her partner's room.
"Either that, or he tried to go down the stairs. . ." Nurse Schmidt's face was suddenly pale as she took off running for the stairway.
Margaret, Liam and Cassy followed her down the hall. The nurse and Tom's parents entered the stairway, but Cassy stopped outside of his room. On a hunch, she opened the door across the hall. A patient was watching television. "Sorry," she apologized, and shut the door quietly.
She crossed the hall, back to the side where Tom's room was located and opened the next door. The room was empty, but the sheets on one bed were pulled sideways, off the bed. She entered the room slowly, "Hello, is anyone here?"
There was no response. Then she heard a sharp intake of breath. She rounded the foot of the bed and looked down. Her heart broke.
Curled in a tight ball on the floor was Tom, sobbing. He had the blanket from the bed pulled down over half his body, clutching it tightly with his left hand. He was lying on his right side, holding his injured arm close to him. His back heaved with the uncontrolled tears running off his face and onto the cold tile floor. The phone was lying near by, pulled off from the stand.
"Oh God, Tom," she whispered, kneeling down next him.
"Get. . . away. . . from. . . me," he growled between gasps for breath.
"Oh Thomas, please let me help you." She reached forward slowly and gently placing a hand on his injured shoulder.
"I. . .said. . .stay. . .away! Leave. . .me. . .alone!" He yelled this time, startling the woman.
"No Tom. I'm not leaving you here." She tried to turn his face towards hers, but he resisted.
"You . . lied. . .You. . .all. . .lied." He jerked away, and then gasped in pain as his chest wound fought the sudden movement.
"Thomas, we had to. You were hurt. Your heart was weak. Dr. Miller said that you couldn't handle the news yet. We didn't want to do it. . .we had no choice."
"You. . .lied!" Tom clinched his eyes shut, refusing to acknowledge her assistance.
The door opened and Nurse Schmidt entered the room, followed by Liam, Margaret and the two orderlies.
"Oh Tommy, let me help you," his mother rushed forward.
"Stay. . .away!" He yelled as loud as he could, taking his mother by surprise. She backed away, obediently.
Nurse Schmidt turned to one of the two orderlies, "Get a gurney. We need to get him off this floor and back to his room as soon as possible. Oh, and page Dr. Miller. See if he's out of surgery. Send him up to Mr. Ryan's room if he is." The man left the room.
The nurse approached Tom and kneeled down next to Cassy. "Tom, we need to move you."
"Leave. . . me. . . alone," he pleaded.
"No Tom. You need help. Let us help you," she tried to reason.
"I think. . .I think. . .you've. . .helped enough." He jerked away again.
"That's enough, Sgt. Ryan," the voice from the woman suddenly authoritative. "You will let us help you off this floor."
Tom seemed to respond to the harshness of the voice. While the crying didn't stop, the fighting did.
The orderly returned, pushing a gurney through the door. Liam pulled Cassy to her feet and made room for the equipment. The two hospital assistants helped the nurse ease Tom off the floor. The injured man groaned, his breathing irregular because of the renewed pain to his chest and limb.
They lifted his body onto the platform and then pushed him out the door and into his room next door. Cassy, Margaret and Liam followed, and were surprised to see Dr. Miller rushing down the hallway towards them.
"What happened?" he asked impatiently of the three.
"We're not sure," Liam responded.
"He found out about Erin," Cassy whispered.
"How?"
"I'm not sure, but he went to the room next door to use the phone, I think. It was lying on the floor next to him when I came in."
"He was on the floor?"
"Yeah," Cassy nodded, "He must have fallen again."
The doctor shook his head and muttered, "Unbelievable." He entered his patient's room without saying anything more.
The family started to follow, but were met by Nurse Schmidt. "Dr. Miller wants to examine Tom. He's asked for you to wait out here."
"But our son needs us. . ." Margaret cried.
"He needs to calm down, and right now he's pretty upset with the lot of us. It's best that Dr. Miller talk with him right now and calm him. We don't want him to have anymore heart problems."
Liam held his wife closely and she cried into his shoulder. Cassy watched the couple, numb with the emotions of the past few minutes.
Closing her eyes, she realized this was exactly what she had feared would happen. Tom would find out the truth about Erin and realize that those he loved the most had kept the tragic secret from him. He was right, they had lied to him. And where had it gotten them? Tom was in danger once again and hurt by their actions.
She leaned against the wall, the tears falling for the millionth time since this whole disaster began two weeks ago. All she wanted to do now was to run. . .run away from the hospital. . .run away from Tom's accusations. But it was too late for that. The damage had been done. Now they all had to live with the consequences."
The door opened and Dr. Miller exited the room, pulling the door closed behind him. Margaret turned to the doctor, "How is he? He's going to be okay, isn't he?"
"He's pretty upset right now. I've given him a sedative to help him sleep."
"But he is going to be okay, right?" the worried mother repeated.
"Thankfully, his heart didn't go into arrhythmia, so physically, I don't think he's any worse for the wear. But emotionally. . .well, that's a different story." He turned to Cassy, "You were right. He decided to try to call Erin. Apparently, he called the school where she taught. They told him she had died."
Cassy dropped her head down to her hand, "Damn it. I should've known he was going to try something like this. He was so upset and angry this morning. . ."
Liam approached the woman, placing a comforting hand on her back. "At least he knows now. We don't have to hide it from his anymore."
Dr. Miller nodded. "I'm going to keep him sedated until tomorrow. I don't want an emotional relapse like what we just had. Mr. Ryan is right, at least he's been through the worst of this tragedy. Things can only be better now."
"Can we see him?" Margaret asked hopefully.
"Let's give him some time, okay. Besides, I just gave him the sedative. He'll be sleeping soon. Why don't you come down and join me for a cup of coffee." The parents nodded and followed the doctor down the hallway. Liam turned to Cassy, who hadn't moved.
"Cassy, you coming?"
"No. I need to call Harry," she shook her head and pulled out her phone.
"Join us when you're done." He turned and followed his wife to the elevator. As soon as they had left the floor, Cassy put the phone back in her purse and approached Tom's door, slowly pushing it open.
Tom was staring out the window of the room, his eyes swollen and red. She walked in quietly, not wanting to startle him, "Tom?" she whispered.
He turned to her with a look of pain in his eyes that she would never forget so long as she lived.
"She's dead, Cass," he muttered, his voice raspy from his crying.
"I know. . .I'm so sorry, Tom." She didn't know what else to say to her partner, to her best friend.
"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was so quiet she had to strain to hear him.
"We wanted to Tom. But your heart was weak. Dr. Miller didn't think you could handle the shock."
He didn't say anything in response for a long time. The he looked at her, "I loved her, Cass."
Cassy nodded, the tears welling up in her eyes, "I know."
"I think she loved me, too." A tear fell from his eye.
"I know she did. . .she told me so." She approached his bed slowly, still afraid that he would try to push her away again. He didn't.
"What happened?" He asked, not sure he really wanted to hear the answer.
"Thomas, I don't think. . ." Cassy shook her head, not wanting to upset the man any further.
"Please, Cassy, I have to know what happened." His voice was sounding more groggy, the effects of the sedative finally kicking in.
Cassy pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and took his left hand in hers. "The night after you were shot by the kid, you had a heart attack of some kind. . .your heart stopped beating. We thought you had died. The doctor used the defibrillator on you to get your heart to start. Erin saw that and just. . .snapped. She left the hospital. We talked outside later, after you were okay. She cried, saying that she loved you, but she couldn't handle worrying about you. She decided she wanted to go home and get some sleep."
Tom was listening intently, trying to fight the effects of the medication. Cassy continued, "I don't know what happened after that. Her car overturned on the highway. Witnesses said that it looked like she fell asleep at the wheel." Cassy couldn't say any more. She looked at her partner. Tom's tears rolled down his cheeks, one after the other, "Thomas, I so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make this easier on you."
"You have. You told me the truth." He looked into his partner's eyes. "Thank you."
She stood and leaned over the bed to kiss him on the cheek. Before she could pull away, he raised his left arm and pulled her into a tight hug. There was a small gasp of pain, and she knew the motion had cost him, but she brought her arms carefully around his neck and held him close. "You're welcome, partner," she whispered into his ear, as she felt his tears soaking her shoulder.
She didn't know how long they stayed like that, holding each other closely, but when she finally pulled herself away, his eyes were closed and he was peacefully asleep.
The End