Love Is Not Enough
Part 3
Erin's body moved gently on top of Tom's. Her hair trailed across his chest. Her legs straddled him, pressing him into her. Fingernails ran up and down the length of his sides. He kissed her passionately, his mouth exploring hers. As the intensity grew, he rolled her over, bringing his body on top of hers. He looked into her eyes and saw. . .Cassy! Before he could react, a shot was fired out of nowhere, hot agony sliced through his shoulder and he bolted upright with a gasp of pain, wide awake, the tortured bones of his shoulder screaming at the movement. He dropped onto his left side, gasping for air.
The nurse quickly approached the side of the bed, "Mr. Ryan, are you okay. I'm so sorry. I didn't meant to startle you like that." Tom, disoriented, allowed the woman to turn him gently onto his back. He tried to clear his vision, which was still blurred with the pain.
"What?. . .What happened?" Tom stuttered, trying to get his bearings.
"I was bringing you your pills. I saw you try to turn over onto your stomach. I reached over to stop you and accidentally dropped the tray. I'm so sorry," the nurse repeated. She handed him a glass of water along with the pain pills and watched as he downed them both. When finished, he handed the glass back to her.
"It's. . .it's okay. I must have been dreaming." Tom looked at the clock. It was nearly 7:30 in the morning.
"The medications will do that to you. I brought your breakfast. Are you hungry?"
"Yeah, a little." Tom watched the nurse as she exited the room. He pushed the small button to raise his bed to a sitting position. His mind drifted back to the dream. The nurse was right, it had to be the medication. It had been months since Tom had experienced a sensual dream about Cassy. There was no reason for one to be popping up now. Must've been the pills. He leaned back against the pillows, and wiped the sleep from his eyes. The nurse reentered the room with his breakfast.
"I have scrambled eggs and toast, just like you ordered." The nurse smiled cheerfully.
"Any chance of getting a decent cup of coffee?" Tom smiled hopefully.
"Coffee. . .No. But I have some hot tea for you if you would like."
"Guess that'll have to do." The nurse sat a small pitcher of hot water and a tea bag onto the tray. Next to that she added a glass of orange juice and milk. "How's that?"
"Fine, thanks." As the nurse exited, Tom pushed the tray back, deciding to make a trip to the bathroom first. He gingerly rose from the bed, discouraged that his body still felt so weak. The shoulder constantly ached, the broken ribs and damaged lung sent bolts of pain through his chest and abdomen.
He looked in the mirror above the lavatory. His face was still pale, his hair disheveled. The night nurse had removed his T-shirt, leaving him in only his black pajama bottoms. With the shirt off it was easy to see the damage the bullets had done. His right shoulder and arm were tightly wrapped in the sling, the wounds at his ribs, both in back and front, were bandaged. Purple bruising peaked out around the injuries. "Ryan, you look like shit," he muttered. He leaned against the sink and ran the hot water. He removed a washcloth from the shelf and gingerly began to wipe down his body the best he could with one hand. He combed his hair, and debated about shaving. Suddenly, though, he found he was ready to collapse. He drained the basin and began toweling himself. He reached for his robe and eased it onto his left arm, having to use his teeth to hold it in place, and then draped it over the right shoulder. He felt a presence behind him and he turned. Harry and Frannie were watching him, Frannie had her hands on her hips and was tapping her foot.
"What are you doing out of bed, Thomas Ryan?" she mothered. "You should have the nurse helping you. You don't want to fall again."
Tom closed his eyes and shook his head. "What did Cassy do? Tell everyone at the station that I fell?" Suddenly, Tom turned a whiter shade of pale, and teetered. Harry rushed forward and grabbed him by the left arm, guiding him back to the bed.
"She was worried about you. . .for good reason, I see," he scolded, as he tucked Tom back under the covers, and pulled the robe around his chest.
Tom felt sick to his stomach. "I'm not feeling too hot all of the sudden," he complained quietly.
"Have you eaten?" Frannie looked over at the food tray and immediately knew the answer. "I bet you took some pain pills and didn't eat your breakfast. That'll do it every time." She pushed the tray in front of the young cop. Tom turned his nose up at the food.
"Look young man, you are going to eat this breakfast. Start with the toast. That'll settle your stomach down." Frannie removed the napkin from the tray and tucked it around his neck, protecting his robe.
"I'm not five." Tom grumbled.
"Well, then quit acting like it. You know better than to try to move around without assistance." Now Harry was joining in on this parenting attitude. It was kind of fun, he thought.
Compliantly, Tom took the toast and slowly nibbled on it. After eating a half piece he realized that Frannie was right, his stomach had settled. He looked up at his visitors and saw they were still watching him like two mother hens.
"Better?" Frannie asked, a hint of worry still in her eyes.
"Yeah, thanks." Tom attempted a smile to put them at ease. "So what's going on at the station, Harry?" A change of subject was definitely in order.
"Nope, no shop talk while you're in the hospital," Frannie interrupted. "You don't need the stress of worrying about that place while you're trying to recover."
Tom curled his lips in frustration. "I'll be in more stress if I don't hear about that place. It's an important part of my life. I need to be a part of what's going on there," he insisted. He looked pleadingly at Harry.
Harry looked from Tom to his wife. Weighing the threats of bodily harm, he decided Frannie could do more damage. "Nope, Frannie's right. No police talk yet. When you're out of the hospital I'll be sure to give you daily updates if you want them."
Tom groaned and started to vocalize a protest, but Harry interrupted with one of his looks over his glasses. Tom remained silent, but continued to glare at his Captain.
Frannie interrupted, "Cassy said that your parents went back to Boston." Tom was silent for a minute, still unhappy with being protected by the two, then he shook it off. "Yeah. I couldn't see keeping them here. I know that they felt like they should stay, but there really wasn't anything they could do for me. I felt guilty just having them sit and stare at me all day."
"A parent likes to sit and stare at his child, especially when that parent came so close to losing that child." Harry said quietly.
Frannie nodded her head in agreement. She reached out and grabbed Tom's foot though the covers. "You scared them. . you scared all of us. Don't do that again."
"Yes ma'am." Tom responded, dropping his eyes to avert the gaze of the Captain and his wife.
"Now, finish your breakfast before I have to spoon feed it to you myself," she ordered. Tom grinned and picked up the other piece of toast, took a deep breath and committed himself to finishing the food.
The Boxter flew down the highway. Cassy debated on going to see Tom in the hospital. She looked at her watch, it was already 8:30. A part of her wanted to see him; needed to see him. But another part of her wanted to avoid all contact with him. Her desire for avoidance won out and she passed the exit to the hospital.
She had overslept, after spending a night of crying. She was furious with herself for feeling like this. She knew that Tom and Erin were serious and that Tom was, finally, moving on. But until she had actually seen them together in the hospital room, she hadn't had to face the reality of the situation.
During the entire time that Cassy and Tom were married, and even after the divorce, Tom had needed Cassy. Not just as a fellow cop or a friend, but as a soulmate. . . and she needed him. Cassy took comfort in knowing that, despite the failed marriage, Tom was always there for Cassy, ready to pick up the pieces when her life didn't go as planned. That was the beauty of their relationship. They could always count on the other, because they were partners in every sense of the word.
Now Cassy could feel her soulmate slipping away. Another had taken her place. And she was powerless to stop it. "No damn it, she thought to herself, "just because Tom is serious about another woman doesn't mean that he's not going to be there for you," she reasoned. He's too compassionate for that. She smiled, thinking about all of the poems and songs of friendship and love he had written over the years. . .written for her. Now those poems and songs were for someone else. "Stop it," she yelled, furious with her thoughts. "Geez, St. John, what did you think was gonna happen when you dumped him, that he'd stay single the rest of his life waiting for you to grow up and decide you needed him?" she admonished herself.
She pulled into the department parking lot and saw Harry getting out of his car. She climbed out of the Porsche, grabbing her purse and jacket. "Hi, Harry."
"Good morning, Cassy. I figured I'd see you at the hospital this morning."
"Oh, you went to see Tom? How's he feeling today?"
"He still looks pretty weak. He almost passed out on Fran and me. Wasn't sure we were going to get him to the bed before he keeled over."
A frown crossed Cassy's face, "What was he doing out of bed this time?"
"Taking a sponge bath, I believe."
"No nurse?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
"No nurse."
She shook her head in disgust. "That man is unbelievably stubborn at times."
Harry smiled and nodded in agreement, as the two entered the station to start their respective days.
Reviewing personnel reports of the new recruits did not hold Cassy's interest. As with the day before, she found her mind wandering back to Tom. . .and Erin. She felt guilty for not seeing Tom that morning. It was the first time since he had been in the hospital that she had missed the trip and the only reason she had failed to go was because of her jealousy over his new relationship. Why couldn't she be happy for him? A few days ago she was fine with it. She, in fact had teased him about his new interest. Why had everything changed with one secret intrusion?
It was almost noon and time for a lunch break. She grabbed her purse and headed out the door of the squad room, determined to see Tom and be a friend to him, not a jealous ex-wife.
Within twenty minutes she had pulled into the hospital parking lot. She walked through the lobby and punched the button for the elevator. The door opened and Cassy found herself staring at Erin. Erin grinned broadly at the cop, as the two stepped back out into the lobby. "Hi Cassy! We were wondering where you were today. Tom said you didn't stop by this morning." Erin leaned close to Cassy as if whispering a secret, "I think he was kinda worried about you."
The woman was so damn friendly, Cassy screamed to herself. How in the world am I supposed to deal with that? Cassy smiled at Erin, "I overslept this morning and didn't have time to stop by. How's Tom feeling?"
"A little better I think," she shook her head in concern, "although he hinted that he had some troubles this morning."
Cassy chuckled, "Yeah, according to Harry, he tried to give himself a sponge bath and almost ended up passing out."
Erin frowned, "I don't believe him. All he told me was that he was sick to his stomach this morning, but that it passed after he ate. I have half a mind to go back up there and chew him out for lying to me."
Cassy smiled, "Don't bother. He'll just say that he didn't want to worry you, and then you'll look into those puppy dog eyes and forgive him. Trust me, I've been down that road before."
It was Erin's turn to chuckle now. "Yeah, he does know how to use those eyes, doesn't he." She glanced at her watch, "Well, I guess I'll pass on the lecture, I've got to get back to the school." She started to walk away, "Tell you what, you have my permission to give him the chewing out he deserves, okay?"
Cassy laughed, "It'll be my pleasure." She waved goodbye to the woman, watching her walk out the front entrance. She pushed the elevator door and it opened immediately.
End Part 3