Only Time Will Tell
Part 19
"He forgave you," Janet Angelini's words reverberated in Cassy's head, deafening her to all other sound. And then the woman followed with, "Something wrong, St. John? You look a little pale."
Cassy numbly pushed herself to shaky feet, "I've got to. . .I've got," she stumbled over her words. Without completing her sentence, Cassy turned to the door of the interrogation room, and as if she were fleeing a burning building, rushed out, shutting the door firmly behind her.
"Cassy, are you okay?" Harry Lipschitz voice penetrated the loud buzzing in her ears. Cassy couldn't respond. "St. John?" his voice repeated, louder. He placed a hand on her shoulder, shaking her from her trance.
His detective leaned heavily against the hallway wall. "She's right, Harry," were her only words.
Cassy turned suddenly and made her way to the exit. "St. John, where are you going?" Harry wearily shouted out after her.
"Hospital," was the only reply.
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"You shouldn't be here, Sgt. St. John." Nurse Roth gently scolded the detective.
"I need to. . .Please let me see him," the disheveled blond woman pleaded. Nurse Roth was reluctant to allow her into ICU so late at night, but changed her mind upon seeing the desperation in her blue eyes.
The nurse smiled slightly and nodded. "I think he would do better with the company." Before she could complete the sentence, Cassy had already disappeared into the room.
She quietly took a seat at the bedside chair, a place she had occupied frequently in the past few hours. She reached out and took Tom's still hand in hers. She closed her eyes, saying a prayer to whatever god would listen, but fearing in her heart that her words were falling on deaf ears.
Janet's calm words, "He forgave you," replayed in her head. They struck at her heart. Janet Angelini was right. Tom forgave Cassy. He forgave her for the pain she had caused him. He forgave her for the damage she had done to his heart. . .to his soul. And if he could forgive her for the betrayal of his trust, would he not also forgive Janet for her crimes against him.
With those three words, "He forgave you," Janet Angelini had shown Cassy what Cassy had dreaded seeing. . .what she refused to acknowledge. They had both betrayed Tom, used him. They had violated his faith, his trust, his love. One was no different than the other. Just because Janet's motives were born of obsession did not make them any more evil than Cassy's which were created from vengeance.
Cassy closed her eyes, her confusion overwhelming her. She had to fight down the urge to scream, instead choosing to grip Tom's hand harder, wishing desperately that he would try to pull away from the pain she was inflicting. But there was nothing. No sign that he felt her presence, no indication that he acknowledged the anguish.
She could hear Harry's voice in her head, saying the words that she knew she should listen to, "She's playing you. She's manipulating you again. Don't fall for it."
But the feelings of doubt that Janet had evoked were powerful. "I'm trying. . .but I think she's. . .I think she's won." Cassy mumbled, a single tear falling from her eye. And for the first time since Harry had spoken to her of Tom's worsening condition, Cassandra St. John lost hope.
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"She's been like this since my shift started," Karen Jacobson whispered to Captain Harry Lipschitz. "Nancy told me that she came here sometime around midnight and refused to leave his side. Kept mumbling that she would not betray him again. That she wouldn't run away. I just didn't have the heart to disturb her."
Harry nodded. It was almost 7:00 in the morning. He had called Nurse Roth after Cassy had left the precinct to confirm she had made it to the hospital. The nurse had assured him that Cassy was safe in Tom's room and appeared to be in no hurry to leave. Harry decided it was time to go home to his wife and asked the Nurse to contact him if there was any change in Tom's condition or if Cassy made any move to leave the hospital. The nurse, sensing the Captain's concern about the condition of his officers, assured him she would call.
The shifts changed and Cassy remained at Tom's side. Nurse Jacobson periodically entered the room to provide new IV's and to check on the injured detective's status. She exercised special care in not disturbing the sleeping woman curled up in the chair a few feet away.
She noted, with a limited amount of satisfaction, that the comatose man had show some improvement during the night. His heart rate had increased, continuing to be steady and strong. Although he showed no sign of being cognizant to the outside world, there was some hope that the doctor's notes on the chart were wrong.
Morning came, and Cassy still slept. Harry arrived at the hospital to check on his detectives and found them together. "I'm going to wake her," he said to the nurse.
Karen nodded her approval, "From what I've heard, she could use some time away. Maybe get her some food."
Harry nodded in agreement. He walked softly to Cassy's side, kneeled down in front of the chair and placed a hand on hers. "Cassy?"
Cassy woke instantly, bolting upright in the chair, "Thomas!" The fear in her voice was evident. He stroked her forearm gently.
"He's okay, Cassy," the fatherly touch calmed her fears instantly.
Cassy collapsed backward into the chair with relief. "I was dreaming."
"About Tom?"
Cassy bit her lip and nodded, but said nothing more. Harry tilted his head, "Not good?"
Cassy shook her head and rubbed her hands against her eyes, trying to wipe away the fading nightmare images.
"You want to talk about it," Harry offered.
"No. No I don't." Cassy answered simply.
Harry nodded his understanding and smiled at the woman. "The nurse wants to get Tom ready for his morning examination with the doctor. Why don't we go get something to eat? Frannie said she'd stop by soon with a change of clothes for you."
Cassy started to protest, but a stern look from the Captain caused her to instantly change her mind. Actually, food and a strong cup of coffee were quite appealing. She stood slowly, her muscles screaming at the movement. Taking a step away from Tom's side, she turned back to the motionless man, reluctant to leave. The nurse saw her actions and smiled, "I'll let you know if there's any change. You'll be in the cafeteria, right?"
Harry nodded and eased Cassy to the door. Nurse Jacobson escorted them out of the room and called for an orderly to assist her with her patient.
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He couldn't breathe. The tape covered his mouth, Janet's hand plugged his nose. There was no air. . .no relief. Then it came, unexpectedly. It rushed past his lips, down his throat and into his oxygen-starved lungs. A momentary feeling of relief overwhelmed him. But then, as soon as the contentment set in, the panic returned. The air was gone. The tape was back. There was no relief. . .only fear. Darkness set in. Then the tape was gone. He could breathe again.
He knew he had to break this cycle. He had to defeat her. He tried desperately to turn his head from the trap of the tape over his mouth, from the fingers which suffocated him.
He tried to raise his hands to fight her off, but they would not move. They were trapped. He had no defense to ward off her attack against him. He knew he would die and she would win.
But he couldn't die. He couldn't let her win. Winning meant death. Death for Cassy. Cassy needed him. He could hear her voice. She was in danger. He could see the gun. It was aimed at her heart. "NO!" he screamed, the sound muffled in his ears and then blackness. He couldn't breath. The air wouldn't come. He was dying.
Then another burst of oxygen into his lungs caused his eyes to fly open in shock, a hoarse scream escaping from his lips followed by uncontrolled coughing. He fought the restraint. . .he couldn't let her win.
"Mr. Ryan! It's okay. . .you're safe. It's okay," the gentle voice sounded above him, a firm grip holding him down. He fought against the hands, but Janet was so strong. . .and he was so weak. He could not win.
"Sgt. Ryan, can you hear me?"
Tom's muddled mind acknowledged that the voice he heard was no longer Janet's. . .it was no longer female. It was a man's voice. He concentrated on focusing his vision so that he could match sight with sound. He was only partially successful. His eyes would only produce blurry pictures. He could see outlines, but no details.
"Sgt. Ryan can you hear me?" the voice repeated, suddenly clearer.
Tom concentrated his efforts on answering the question, and with all the energy he could muster, croaked out a resounding, "Uh huh."
End Part 19
To Part 20