Reckless
Part 12
Cassy and Harry rushed into the waiting room to find Frannie, Lyam and Margaret huddled in the corner. Cassy saw Tom's parents holding onto each other tightly and felt her stomach lurch. "Oh God, no," she whispered, too quiet for the others to hear.
"What's happened?" the Captain asked the distraught couple as Frannie came to his side, pulling him close.
Margaret's tear-streaked face turned up to face him. "He. . we. . ." she stumbled.
"He had an attack," Lyam completed. "We were in the room sitting with him when. . ."
"It was horrible. He was so quiet. . .so still. . .and then he just. . .he just started to have these spasms. . .." Margaret's voice trembled.
"They said that his fever caused the attack," Frannie interrupted.
"Convulsions?" Cassy finally spoke.
The parents nodded. Cassy lowered her head to avoid their gaze, shame filling her. Movement from behind caused her to turn toward the source. A woman in a white lab coat moved past the blond and toward the group in the corner.
"Mr. and Mrs. Ryan?" the soft voice said.
Lyam rose to his feet. "How's Tommy?"
"He's hanging in there," she smiled, but sadness was reflected in her brown eyes.
Margaret grabbed onto her husband's arm as if hanging onto a life preserver. Lyam nodded toward the medical woman and turned to Harry. "This is Dr. Lawson. She was on call when Tommy. . ." he hesitated, trying to say the difficult words.
The doctor turned to Harry and held out her hand. Harry stepped forward. "I'm Harry Lipschitz, Tom's captain. This is my wife, Frannie and his partner, Cassandra St. John. Is he going to be okay?"
The woman glanced at the parents and then shrugged. "As I said, he's holding his own. We have him on some new antibiotics to try to get the fever lowered."
"Is it working?" Margaret spoke up.
"It's too early to say. We're going to be keeping a close eye on him. We'll keep you updated on his progress."
"Can we be with him?" the mother pleaded.
"I'm sorry. Not yet. Let's give it some time. Maybe in a couple of hours, if all goes well." The doctor nodded to the group and left the room.
Cassy kept her position near the wall, wishing she could disappear into it. She kept her eyes focused on the floor, knowing that if she were to look up she would see accusation, as well as the pain and fear in her ex-in-laws' eyes.
"Cassy, are you okay?" Harry whispered. The woman gave a quick nod to the older man, avoiding eye contact with him as well. The Captain reached out and gently tugged on her upper arm. "Why don't you come sit down."
"No," Cassy responded curtly.
"Cassy, please."
"No!" Cassy shouted, jerking her arm away. She spun towards the door and retreated to the hallway.
Margaret watched, as the blond woman left the room. She stood and approached Harry and Frannie. "You were gone for a long time. Where did you find her?"
Harry turned to face the sad hazel eyes of Tom's mother. "At the warehouse."
"Where Tom was shot?"
Harry nodded his confirmation. Lyam approached the three. "Why did she go back there?"
"To re-live what happened, I think."
"Why? It won't change anything." Lyam pulled his wife close. "We talked while you were gone. We know that Cassy thinks we. . .that we blame her for what happened."
Harry turned to the couple. "Do you? How do you feel?"
"It hurts," Margaret whispered. "To have this happen is our worst nightmare coming true."
"But how do you feel about her?" Harry pushed.
"Hesch, don't," Frannie scolded.
Lyam closed his eyes and shook his head. "When Cassy married Tom, she became our daughter. The divorce didn't change that because of one thing. . .Tom. He asked us to not blame her. We honored his wishes then. Tommy wouldn't want us to hurt her by blaming her for what's happened now. We won't."
Harry gave the couple a grim smile and turned for the door. "Harry?" Margaret's voice stopped him. The captain turned. "What's happened to Tom is bad enough. Please don't let this destroy her," the woman pleaded.
Harry nodded and left the room, Frannie following close behind.
Cassy had wandered aimlessly through the hospital corridors until she found herself outside the chapel. The door had been propped open, revealing the small, empty interior. As if on autopilot, she stumbled into the small room.
With her eyes fixed on the small bronze cross which had been placed on a marble alter, she moved to the front and sat in the first pew. Bowing her head, she closed her eyes, squeezing out tears. Wiping them away, she swallowed and took a deep breath. "Why?" she whispered.
Her gaze drifted down to her hands. She could feel the tremble in the fingers. Grasping them tightly together, she folded them in her lap. "All I wanted to do was stop Slater. . .stop the pain he'd caused. Why this?" She scraped away loose fingernail polish from her index finger, her memories replaying the shooting in the warehouse. "I was so sure I had Slater. I never knew Tom was there." The tears returned. "Why didn't you tell me? I never. . ." she choked on a sob. "I never knew he was there."
"Honey?" Frannie Lipschitz voice interrupted Cassy's ramblings.
Cassy gasped on her words. "I didn't. . .I didn’t realize you were here."
"I know. I'm sorry." The petite brunette moved next to Cassy and sat on the pew.
"Harry told you?" Cassy asked, shame lacing her words.
Frannie's arm slid around the distraught woman's shoulders. "No, Lyam and Margaret did. I know how horrible this must be for you." Cassy said nothing, her eyes never leaving the folded hands. She felt the older woman's delicate fingers push her blond hair back over her shoulder. "You know, they don't blame you for what's happened."
"Well, they should," Cassy growled.
Frannie ignored the angry response. "Is there anything I can do?"
Cassy gave a quick shake of her head. "Nothing can help right now; nothing but Tom being okay. But that's. . ." she paused as she sniffed and wiped away a tear. "That's not going to happen, is it?"
Frannie raised a disapproving eyebrow at the detective. "Cassy, honey, I've never heard you talk like that. You've never given up on Tom before. Don't you dare give up on him now."
"This is different, Frannie. This isn't like anything that has happened to us before." Cassy shook her head and pushed herself from the pew. "You don't understand. I've hurt Tom. Me. . .no one else," she pounded a fist against her chest. "I broke the rules. . .I left Tom behind. I didn't wait for him. I fired when I shouldn't have. I shot him." Cassy turned her back on the woman.
Frannie stood and moved behind her. She placed a warm hand on her shoulder and spun her slowly around to meet her face. "Harry told me what happened at the warehouse."
"Then you know that. . .that I screwed up."
"No, I know that you made a mistake, a terrible mistake. But I also know that you did not do it on purpose. That is was an accident."
Cassy sniffed back tears again. "I'm just so. . .so. . .scared. I just feel in here. . ." she thumped her chest one again, "that he's going to die. That I've killed him. My pride. . .my stupidity. . .will have taken him away from everyone who loves him."
She tried to hold back the flood of tears which threatened to break her control. She failed. Her weeping overwhelmed her and took her strength from her. She stumbled forward and grabbed for the edge of the pew. Before she could collapse, Frannie came forward and supported the taller woman in a close hug, keeping her on her feet. Cassy buried her face in Frannie's shoulder and sobbed.
The two woman sat back onto the pew, as Cassy continued to lean her head onto the older woman's shoulder. After several minutes, Cassy righted herself and wiped the tears from her swollen, red eyes. "I'm sorry. I. . ."
"It's okay, Cassy. My shoulder is always here for you, as is Harry's."
Cassy gave the woman a slight smile. "I know that. And I appreciate it."
A throat being cleared interrupted the two women. Harry walked quietly into the chapel. "Cassy?"
Cassy turned to her boss and stood, straightening her crumpled clothing. "Harry?"
"I'm sorry, but it's almost 7. We have to go." Harry's voice was quiet, his words tinted with embarrassment.
Cassy gave him a sheepish grin as she approached the man, knowing he had seen much more than he was revealing. "Thanks, Harry. Thanks for everything."
End Part 12
To Part 13