Note: Single quotes indicate thoughts.

Part 31

Cassy found herself running along the edge of a rocky cliff that overlooked the ocean. Vertigo threatened to send her over the brink with each step, but she wouldn't let herself give in. Tom's voice trembled as he called to her, but his words reverberated through her skull. "Cassy! Cassy, help me! I don't want to die. Hurry Cassy!" She paused to scan the area for her partner as she had done periodically for miles. Cassy was becoming more and more desperate to find her partner. She leaned over, resting her hands on her knees as she closed her eyes and waited for the nauseating dizziness to pass once more. Frustrated and on the verge of panic, she opened her eyes and called to him.

"Tom! Where are you? Listen to me! I'm on my way. Don't you dare give up on me, Ryan!" When there was no response, she began to run again. Her eyes scanned the outcrops that periodically jutted out into the turbulent water as she carried on her search. Cassy continued to run, covering mile after mile of the rocky shoreline. Nearing exhaustion, she paused again to catch her breath and visually scour the terrain.

Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes settled on her best friend's familiar form clinging to a large rock at the far edge of an outcrop. The roar of the waves increased in intensity as the tide rolled quickly in. Apprehension laced her words as she again called out to him. "Thomas! Don't move! You just hang on and I'll be right there, okay?" Frustration became fear's companion as she realized that the pounding surf was drowning out her voice. Tom showed no awareness of her presence and stared down at the water that now slapped at his feet as the tide continued to rise.

She quickly, but carefully, made her way over the rocks to where her partner precariously clung, once more ignoring the vertigo that threatened to send her into the pounding surf. Cassy was halfway out to Tom when a loud rumbling shook the rocks. One by one, the rocks behind her shifted and tumbled into the rising water, completely cutting off their path to safety. Dread mixed with terror as she turned back to make her way to her best friend. 'Worry about getting Tom first; deal with getting us off of here later.'

By the time Cassy reached the rock that her partner clung to, the water was up to Tom's knees. He continued to stare down in forlorn helplessness at the waves, which threatened to tear him from the safety of his perch. After offering a silent prayer that she didn't startle him into losing his grip, Cassy called to him once more. "Tom! I'm here now! Take my hand and I'll pull you up. Tom! Look at me!"

His eyes slowly lifted from the water to meet hers. She expected to find fear and anxiety sparkling in the hazel depths, but was shocked to find neither. The gaze that met hers was dull, lifeless, and without hope. He sadly shook his head, refusing her outstretched hand. "No! Thomas!" She screamed in horror as he released his hold and allowed the water to carry him off into the violent waves that pounded the rocks. . .

Cassy bolted upright in bed as the scream of "No! Thomas!" echoed through the room. Tears formed and spilled over in a steady stream down her face as she desperately gasped for air. As her rapid breathing and heartbeat slowly returned to normal, she whimpered her words from the dream. "No, Thomas." She drew her knees to her chest and sat for several minutes with her arms wrapped tightly around them. Cassy wiped the moisture from her eyes and reached with a shaky hand to pick up the alarm clock. She double-checked the display and closed her eyes, leaning her forehead on the heel of her palm while her elbow rested on her knees. It didn't seem possible that only two hours had passed since she had climbed under the covers, fully expecting a long and restful sleep.

Cassy had been sure that the nightmares, which had plagued her since Tom's disappearance, would not return now that he was safe in the hospital. She replaced the clock and reluctantly climbed out of bed. "I might as well go back to the hospital," she announced to no one. As she reached for her clothes and began to dress, Cassy was all too aware that peaceful sleep would not return anytime soon.

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His head turned restlessly from side to side on the pillow as he murmured in his sleep. "Don't. Stop it. Not Tom. No." His words became clearer and louder as the dream progressed. "You get away from him. Don't touch him. Gotta stop him. He's gonna. . .No!"

Harry's eyes popped open to find his wife's face coming into focus. Relief settled over him like a warm blanket as the nightmare images faded for the moment. As his breathing slowed to normal, he reached to pull her hand from his cheek and put it to his lips. "Oh, Frannie. Thank God, it's you." Her presence in the bed beside him was a comfort he had sorely missed.

"Tell me about your dream, Harry."

Harry tensed and pulled abruptly away from his wife. Ignoring the pain in his shoulder, he carefully rolled to a sitting position and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "I. . . I don't remember anything. It's gone already. Don't make a big deal out of nothing." He rose and staggered slightly as he made his way to the bathroom.

"Oh, no you don't, Harry Lipschitz. You aren't going to shut me out now. I'm finally back here and I'm going to help you whether you like it or not." Frannie muttered under her breath as she followed her husband into the bathroom.

Without a word, Frannie set about assisting Harry. 'I'll give you a few minutes to gather your thoughts, Harry, but you are going to talk to me.' After he finished, he splashed some water on his face and she helped him dry off. Neither one was willing to be the first to break the silence. Harry reached for the bottle of painkillers and handed it to his wife in an unspoken request.

Their eyes met as she placed a pill in the palm of his hand. The glass of water changed hands as each read the silent plea in the other's eyes. 'Please, Frannie. Just let it go. I can't talk about it.'

'Please, Harry, you know you can tell me anything. Don't keep this bottled up inside.'

Harry downed the pill and replaced the glass on the countertop. He leaned heavily on it with his good arm, as his chin rested on his chest and his eyes closed. Frannie studied her husband's reflection in the mirror and found a picture of weariness and worry. She gently placed a hand on his uninjured shoulder. Harry slowly turned to face his wife. Eyes brimming, he reached his arm around her waist and pulled her close. 'What am I gonna do, Frannie? How am I ever going to face him?'

He buried his head in her shoulder and let the tears spill. There were no deep sobs this time, but Frannie knew this was another step on the way to being healed. 'You let it out, my love. I'm going to be here for you every step of the way. You will get through this. We all will.'

After several minutes, Harry lifted his head and turned back to the sink. After he splashed more water on his face, Frannie again toweled him off. After the towel was back in its place, he pulled her close once again. This time there were no tears as he gently, but thoroughly kissed her. "Thank you for being you," he whispered when they finally parted.

Frannie just smiled and reached for his hand. 'You are going to talk to me, Harry. This was a small step, but you have to take the big one and put it into words. Soon.' After bringing his hand to her lips, she gave it a gentle tug and led him back to their bed.

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Cassy arrived at the ICU waiting room to find no sign of Margaret or Lyam. 'They must be in with Tom. Maybe the nurse finally talked them into going to Tom's place to get some sleep.' Cassy wearily made her way to the nurse's station to inquire about her best friend.

Wendy Bradford's smile turned quickly to a frown when she saw the petite blonde at the counter. "Sergeant St. John, you aren't supposed to be back here for at least two more hours. Did you try to rest at all?"

Cassy bristled at the nurse's impertinent questioning. "My sleeping habits are none of your business. If you don't mind, I'd like to know how my partner is doing. Are his parents in with him?"

"I'm sorry if I spoke out of turn, Sergeant. I'm just concerned about you. You look awfully tired and you won't help Sergeant Ryan if you become ill yourself." The nurse's face turned nearly as red as her hair at Cassy's admonition, but she quickly recovered and returned to business. "Mr. Ryan is stable. He's really doing about as well as we can expect at this point. His parents went in just before you got here."

"Is he awake yet?" In her exhausted state, Cassy couldn't keep the desperation out of her voice.

"No, but he should be coming around anytime." Nurse Bradford smiled in sympathy, recognizing the deep feelings that the woman before her held for the man in the bed down the hall. "Would you like to go back for a few minutes? I think we can bend the rules this once as long as you don't stay too long. Maybe you can convince his parents to go home for a little while."

Cassy's face brightened at the prospect. The nightmare had left her shaken and she could think of nothing she wanted more than to reassure herself that he was indeed alive. "Thank you! That would be great. And I'm sorry I snapped at you before."

"No problem, Sergeant. I'm used to dealing with tired and worried relatives. I have to go in and check his IV's now, so if you will follow me. . ." The nurse winked at Cassy and gestured for her to come along.

The two proceeded in silence to Tom's room. As Cassy stepped into the room, a loud alarm blared out a warning. Cassy's heart nearly stopped and her legs turned to rubber. The nurse quickly moved to the bed and began to speak. "Mr. Ryan? Can you hear me? You need to relax, Sergeant. You are safe now. You're in the hospital. Tom? Tom, can you hear me? Open your eyes and look at me, Tom."

Receiving no response from the patient, she looked to the terrified parents for assistance. "Talk to him and try to calm him. He's fighting the respirator. If we can't get him to relax and stop fighting it, we'll have to sedate him."

Lyam moved to Tom's side and began to gently stroke the side of his son's fevered face as he spoke. "Tommy. You're safe now, son. You're in the hospital and you need to let the respirator do the work for now. Come on, Tommy. Take it easy, son."

Nurse Bradford stepped toward the door. "You keep trying to calm him. I'm going to get the sedative. If he's still fighting it when I get back, I'll have to sedate him."

Margaret moved closer to her son's bed and echoed her husband's words. Her hand rested on Tom's knee as she attempted to calm him. "That's right, Tommy. You're safe now. Cassy and Harry aren't going to let anyone hurt you anymore. You have to stop fighting it, Sweetie." The alarm continued to sound and the mother's voice turned to a desperate plea. Her hand moved to her son's chest to continue the reassuring contact. "Please, Tommy. Don't make them do it. You have to stop fighting it."

Wendy quickly reappeared with syringe in hand. She made one final attempt to calm her patient. "Please, Tom. Open your eyes for us. Your parents are here and so is your partner. Wake up for them now, Sergeant." The nurse gave an exasperated sigh and swabbed the IV line with alcohol. Reluctantly, she inserted the needle and emptied the contents.

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'Where the hell am I? God, it's so hot. Did I fall asleep on the beach? I have to get out of the sun. It's too hot. Burning up. Have to get up.' Tom's heart began to beat faster as awareness returned. The heat was unbearable and he unsuccessfully struggled to make his body respond to his brain's command to move. He felt like he was floating, yet his body seemed to be a lead weight and he was unable to coax even a finger to so much as twitch.

His father's voice sounded in his ears, but his eyes wouldn't open to determine if it was a dream. Fingers brushed the side of his face. "Tommy? Open your eyes, Tommy," the familiar voice coaxed. "You have to wake up now, Son."

A chill colder than winter in Boston washed over him as the words and the gentle caress mutated from his father's reassuring presence into the perverted doctor's. A loud noise filled the room as he tried to fight the unwanted advances that he knew were coming. Tom attempted to open his mouth and scream. Panic replaced confusion, as he became aware of something there, blocking the effort. 'Just like before. No! I can't go through this again!' He once more tried to protest, but was unable make any sound beyond a soft moan. 'God, no! Not again! I can't do this again.' A lone tear trailed slowly down to fall on his pillow.

A hand began to caress his chest and images filled his head as words and sensations tumbled through his fevered brain. Dr. Leonard's voice was jumbled in among his mother's and his father's. "Stop fighting me. Open your eyes, Tommy. Don't make me do it. Wake up now, Tommy." Hands explored his chest, then moved to his lower extremities, and finally, to his genitals. The alarm continued to blare, but he couldn't remember where it was or why it was sounding. He tried to cry out in protest, but the object in his mouth kept him silent. Several more tears slipped down to join their lone predecessor. Tom strained to push the offending hands away, but his muscles remained frozen and unwilling to move.

Out of nowhere, a warm breeze swept over him and carried the terror away. A peaceful calm washed over him as the nightmare was banished to the far reaches of his mind. Tom drifted away into the comfort of oblivion, safe from the demons that waited for him to awaken once more.

End Part 31

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