So Simple

Part 1

By Terri D. Thomas

The tear-streaked blue eyes, which had been cloudy and undirected in their gaze, suddenly began to clear.

"Kira, it's all right, you're among friends," Daniel quietly commented, attempting to put the disoriented woman at ease.

"Do you remember anything?" Janet Frazier asked, her voice maintaining her constant professionalism.

"Nothing." The words were simple in their answer, but fear tinged them.

"Your name is Kira. You've been a visitor here. Now it's time to go home." Daniel smiled at Kira. He felt a surge of satisfaction rush through his body. They had done it. They had saved Kira from her past. Then, as suddenly as it had arrived, the satisfaction was gone. It was replaced by a sadness which he could not explain. Kira remembered nothing. She would not recall the night they had been together in his quarters, when she had kissed him. . .and he had kissed her.

Guilt suddenly arose. He had kissed her. And he had enjoyed it. Sha'uri had only been. . .dead. . .for a few weeks, and he had kissed Kira. Could his love for Sha'uri be so easily replaced?

Janet's hand on his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts. "Daniel, you okay?"

"Uh. . .yeah. . .sorry," he replied, somewhat startled by the touch.

"You were out of it for a moment," the doctor commented, concern in her brown eyes.

"Just thinking," Daniel whispered, then he directed his gaze back to Kira. She, too, was looking at him with concern. However, he knew her concern was born from the disorientation of having all of her memories stripped from her.

"Well, as I was saying, I need to examine Kira before I release her." Janet gently pushed Daniel out of the room. "I need you to wait outside until I'm done with her."

Daniel nodded and turned back to Kira. "I'll just be in the next room if you need anything."

Kira, a blank look in her eyes and no expression on her face, nodded to the young man and watched him depart. She then turned back to the doctor. "Do I know him?" she finally asked.

"Yes," Janet nodded as she took a penlight and flashed it into Kira's eyes. "He's a friend. He helped you."

"He looks sad," she murmured.

Janet glanced in the direction that Daniel had exited and then back at her patient. "He was worried about you," she finally consoled.

Daniel wandered into the lab adjoining the infirmary. It was here that he had watched Janet and Sam prepare the enhanced Dargal, the drug which had stolen Kira's memories from her, a copy of the version which had erased the memories of an entire population.

He collapsed into the chair next to the workbench and looked at the items strewn about on top. Two capped vials were standing alone in the center of the workspace. He recognized them as the substance which had been synthesized and administered to Kira to help her forget the horrors of her past life as Linea.

He recalled pleading for leniency and understanding to the General and his teammates a short time before. He remembered, with some guilt, how he had used Teal'c's Jaffa past to prove the point that Kira and Linea were not the same person. Despite all of the terrors that the woman Linea had inflicted upon societies, earning her moniker as the "Destroyer of Worlds," Kira knew none of these things. She was an innocent.

Despite all of the evils she had caused, he denounced her guilt. Why had he defended her? Why had he been so willing to risk his life to save a woman holding poison gas in her hands? Why did he try to comfort her when he knew that she would have no qualm about using the deadly toxins on him? He stood between Linea and an armed Jack O'Neill and protected her. Why?

Sha'uri. Sha'uri was the answer. Down deep, Daniel was protecting Linea as he would have protected Sha'uri. . .if his wife had lived. Daniel's head dropped into his hands as he leaned his elbows on the table.

Is this how Sha'uri would have been treated had she lived to return home with him? His wife. . .the woman he loved and cherished had inflicted pain on others because of the urgings of a parasite that lived within her. She was not strong enough to fight it. Just as Linea was not strong enough to fight the evil which inhabited her.

Would the General and Sam and Teal'c and. . .Jack have been as reluctant to accept Sha'uri's innocence? Would they have been as willing to condemn her for her past acts as they had initially been with Linea?

Daniel closed his eyes. How could he have been so stupid? Of course the others would have been overly cautious. They have a world to protect, while Daniel's only concern would have been for the safety of his one love.

God, he missed her. He missed her eyes, her lips, the laugh, the way she held him at night. Being with Kira hadn't alleviated the pain of Sha'uri's absence. In fact, it had only intensified his longing for his wife. He only wished he could better remember the good times, instead of. . ..

Instead, he was haunted by the vision of his last moments with her. The spark of life leaving her eyes was the last thing he saw and the only thing he could see now. It was a nightmare forever etched in his mind's eye. The words of love she whispered to him as she took her final breath echoed in his head.

And what was worse was that he never had the chance to tell her how he felt. Yes, in a. . .dream. . . he was able to tell her of his love, but in reality, he had been too late to speak those words to her. By the time he had found his voice, realized that his reason for living was being taken from him, she was already gone.

He felt a single tear slip between his closed eyelids, but he didn't have the desire to wipe it away. The drop left burning agony in its trail, forever etching itself in his face. . .and in his memory.

He didn't have the strength to hold his head up any longer as another tear followed the first, leaving the same pain in its wake. His head rested on his folded arms. He wanted nothing more at that moment than to escape. . .forget the sorrow, forget the pain. What was it Jack had said once? Only sometimes could he forget the pain of Charlie's death. Never was that anguish permanently vanquished.

Damn it, he couldn't live like this. He couldn't continue on knowing that he had failed his love. . .knowing that because of one mistake his wife was forever lost to him. That one mistake, uncovering the Stargate portal on Abydos, had brought him to this point.

His hand fumbled forward and came into contact with one of the two small vials of Dargal. He lifted his eyes and stared at the contents with blurry vision.

What were the words he had said to Linea? "You can forget. All you have to do is forget."

God, if it was that simple.

His eyes focused on the vial again.

And then the realization struck. It was. Damn it. . .it was just that simple. He felt a surge of satisfaction knowing that the solace his broken heart was yearning for was right at his fingertips.

End Part 1

So Simple

Part 2

By Terri D. Thomas

Dr. Janet Frasier left her newest patient in the small room. Kira had been somewhat distraught about her absent memory. The doctor gave the woman a sedative to calm her.

She made her way into the adjoining room, knowing that Daniel would be close by, anxious to know of Kira's status. It had been Daniel who had convinced Linea, now Kira, to carry through with the Dargal injection.

She saw the man, presumably asleep, head resting on arms, which were folded on top of the workbench.

She approached the man from behind and brought her hands to his shoulders. "Daniel," she whispered.

The young man jumped, startled by her sudden presence. "Wha. . .what?"

Janet's eyes were immediately drawn to the object in the archeologist's right hand. "Daniel?" the woman asked, voice suspicious.

Daniel's blue eyes followed Janet's gaze to the vial in his hand. He instinctively tightened his grip on the small glass container.

"What are you doing with that?"

"Noth. . .nothing," Daniel responded, apprehension lacing the single word.

"Why don't you let me put that away. I want to run some tests on it later."

Daniel looked from the woman to his hand. "No," he whispered.

Janet sighed and pulled up a chair to sit next to the man. "Why?"

"Because. . .I. . .I need it."

Janet frowned at the answer. Then realization sunk in. She shook her head, unable to hide the sadness in her eyes. "It won't help, Daniel."

"Yes. Yes it will." Daniel stood up, moving away from the woman, taking the vial with him.

"You think that forgetting Sha'uri will help the pain?" she guessed.

Daniel didn't answer. Instead, he turned his back on the woman, suddenly finding the microscope very interesting.

"It's not that easy," she continued.

"It was for Lin. . .Kira." His response was so quiet that Janet had to strain to hear the words.

"She had no choice, Daniel. To survive, she had to forget. She had to forget the evil that consumed her."

"I want to forget," Daniel suddenly cried, turning to face the woman. His left hand pounded roughly against his chest. "I *need* to forget."

Janet could feel her own tears well, shored up only by her eyelids. Her friend's pain was so deep, his anguish overwhelming. "Do you really want to forget?" she finally asked.

Daniel was nodding his answer before the words had left her mouth. "Yes. . .please yes," he pleaded.

"You realize this is an all or nothing deal, don't you?" The woman lifted the companion vial, which had been left on the table. She tilted the vial on its side and watched the amber liquid rush from one end to the other. "You don't get to pick and choose what you are going to remember."

"I know." Daniel's acknowledgement was eager, as if excited that the doctor seemed to be considering his unspoken request.

"You'll forget your friends. . .Jack, Sam, Teal'c."

"I. . .know."

"You'll forget about the promise you made to Sha'uri. . .to find her son."

Daniel's pain-filled eyes turned away from the doctor, unable to face her gaze. "Jack. . .can find him."

"You'll forget the first time you saw Sha'uri. The first time you kissed. The first time you. . .made love. All of that will be gone."

"Yes," Daniel nodded, eyes closing as those remembrances assaulted his emotions.

"You really can throw away those memories?"

Daniel shook his head, his eyes suddenly showing barely controlled anger. "Damn it, I don't want to forget those things, but I can't live with the. . ." his voice stopped suddenly.

"The pain?"

"Yes," he answered quickly. Then he added in a murmured voice, ". . .and the guilt."

Janet considered the man's words. "You don't think you owe Sha'uri more? You really think that she deserves to be forgotten so easily?"

Daniel's hold on his temper was torn away and his face suddenly revealed his fury. "Don't! Don't say that! I love. . .loved her."

Janet's anger grew to match her friend's. "Then you owe her more." She reached out and grabbed the larger man's arm. "She deserves to be remembered for who she really was. Not as the Goa'uld who became the Queen of Apophis and not as the daughter of Kasuf. She deserves to be remembered as the woman you loved. . .your wife. Only you can give her that. Only you know that special love that existed between you."

Daniel turned away pulling his arm from her grasp and swiping harshly at the tears which were now streaming down his face. "Damn it," he whispered, he knees growing weak. He leaned his back against the wall, then let his body slide to the floor, still grasping the vile tightly in his hand.

Janet rose from her chair and moved next to the distraught man. She kneeled down and reached out a gentle hand, softly caressing the man's wet cheek. "She loved you, Daniel. . .and you loved her. You must never forget that. A love that special deserves more than to be erased by a chemical."

Daniel's head rose slightly. "I just want to stop the pain."

"I know. And I wish there was something I could do to bring you the comfort you deserve. However, it isn't meant to be that simple. The pain you feel, just like your love for Sha'uri, is a part of you now. It has a place in your heart. You have to learn how to deal with it, live with it. . .not forget it."

Daniel's eyes closed again. Janet tilted her head and let her hand drift from the man's face to his right hand, which still held the vial. "But you're not alone, Daniel. You don't have to suffer through this pain by yourself. We're here. . .to help. Whenever you need us, we'll be here for you."

The woman turned her hand over, palm up. Daniel opened his eyes and saw the woman waiting patiently for him to make a decision. He bit his lip and nodded. Saying nothing more, he dropped the small container into her awaiting hand.

Janet smiled and moved closer to the man. She brought her arms around him and pulled him close, gently rocking him as his sobs racked his body. Her eyes drifted to the vial in her hand. She closed her eyes. 'No,' she thought, 'nothing is ever that simple.'

-fin-