Get your own Free Home Page
It was New Year's Eve and we weren't expecting anybody. I had spent the day constructing snacks of the deviled egg and pizzaburger type because both Billy and Elmore insisted. Elmore had brought over two cases of Bill's house brand, Heineken, from the Corner, and I had made a couple of pies to surprise them - coconut cream for Billy, and a lemon meringue for Elmore. When the doorbell rang unexpectedly both Bill and I stared at it. We'd had no guests as yet in our new home, and I wasn't even sure I was ready for any. The puppies raised a holy stink. Bill: You! Dogs! Shut the goddam hell up! Deb: Woodrow, Augustus...go lie down. Quiet, babies. Billy: Babies, Christ on a bicycle... The bell rang again, and I went to answer it, followed by my canine escort service. Beth: You gotta hide better than this, Deb. I stepped back, utterly stunned for a second. Beth, and Sam behind her...looked wonderful, rested and happy, clear eyed and calm. It looked to me like the Deputy had put on some poundage, but Beth's cooking would account for that. The dogs took one look at Sam and fled. Deb: You're not here. You're not supposed to be back until the second. Sam: We were both homesick, so I canceled the flight and we drove back, smartass. You gonna let us in or make us stand out here in the damn wind? Beth and I were hugging fiercely, as friends do, laughing and sniffling at the same time. Deb: Billy...Elmore...Beth's back! Billy was already behind me, goosing me and jabbing me in the back of the head. Billy: Get the hell outa the way, lemme in there... I dodged aside, jumped up into Sam's arms and just about strangled him. I felt my ribs creak and groan as he hugged me back, and I grinned into his shoulder before stepping back far enough to kiss his cheek. Meantime I heard Billy calling Beth a runt and a pipsqueak and heard him grunt in mock strain as he lifted her into a bearhug. Distantly I heard a door slam, and running footsteps approaching us... Beth: Elmore! Billy: Looks like the damn law's back. Sam: Watch your ass. Sounded pretty agreeable to me. Billy, still holding Beth, lurched into my back. As I turned from Sam and Billy dropped Beth to give Elmore a shot to the ribs in return for the shot to the back that Elmore had given him... Beth launched herself at him. Their reunion was nothing short of amazing. Beth: Elmore, you big lug, I missed you... Elmore swept her off her feet and up against his heart. One forearm lay across her waist, supporting her completely while with the other hand he pressed her head into his shoulder. His eyes were closed, as though he was going to shut out everything but the feeling of Beth in his arms again. He was grinning hugely, helplessly, foolishly. Beth was hugging him tightly around his sturdy neck, smoothing his long hair back out of his eyes. She had locked her legs up around his waist, to take some of the strain off his arm. Sam: What in hell...? I pulled Sam inside and shut the door before Billy could start bitching about not wanting to heat the entire damn panhandle. Sam was watching Elmore and his woman with a look of comic surprise on his face that masked the possessive lover perfectly. I saw behind the mask, though, as did Billy. Deb: Shut up. I mean it, Gerard. Leave it alone. Sam folded his arms across the massive chest, sighed deeply. Billy: Ya hafta walk in here and start blowin' like a horse, Dawg? Deb: They've been friends forever, Sam...since before any of the rest of us were more than a blip on the radar. This one here's nothin' but a blip. I poked Billy in the side and he grabbed me in one of his patented, playful headlocks. Bill: I know you ain't talkin' 'bout me. I tried to poke him again, but the angle was all wrong. Deb: You don't know as much as you think you do...yowch! Elmore landed a kiss on Beth's ear. Apparently this tickled, she laughed delightedly and squirmed against Elmore. Sam made a move to step forward, but Bill, one arm still holding my head down, planted his other arm across Sam's chest. Bill: Leave it alone, Gerard. Don't mean nothin'. And even I was never stupid enough to try to horn in on them two. Elmore glanced around and found the sprig of mistletoe over the dining room door frame. Moving easily, carrying her as though she weighed nothing, Elmore positioned them beneath it. Elmore: Been waitin' twenty years for this... Sam, now completely puzzled, stared almost slackjawed at them. Beth looked up and grinned at Elmore. Beth: Uh-oh... Sam was frighteningly calm, but his flexing fists gave him away. Sam: I think I need an explanation. Now. Deb: Billy, turn me loose! Sam...hold on. Come on into the den... Bill released me with an affectionate rub on the back on my neck. He rapped his knuckles against Sam's head. Bill: Let somethin' she says sink in that thick head for once, Dawg. Bill wandered away to the kitchen, in search of food, and, for the moment, out of this story. Sam preceeded me into the den, silent and troubled, borderline furious. I had to talk fast, and I launched right in. Deb: It's not what it looks like and I'm telling you if you try to squash him she will eat you for lunch. You know how it feels to be in love, Sam. Or have you forgotten already? Meantime, out under the mistletoe, Elmore bent his head, a finger beneath Beth's chin tipped her face to his. Elmore's breath caught... she had never allowed this before. He glanced up at the mistletoe again, as if to confirm that the old tradition would serve to protect her. Sam could see that this was going to be a long one. He dropped into a chair, and allowed his right knee to bounce with impatience. Deb: Elmore and Beth have known each other since the seventh grade. I let this statement stand, watching Sam watching me and wondering how to proceed. I decided to let him interrogate me, if he wanted to. Before he said a word, I noted the first look of confusion ever to cross Sam's face in my memory. Sam: They what? Out in the living room, Beth smiled sadly at Elmore, brushing his long hair behind his ear. Deb: They've known each other since they were twelve. Elmore showed me all his junior high memory books, all his high-school yearbooks...there she is. And I think he's...he's... I brought it to a dead stop. How would Sam react to knowing another man was in love with his woman? Beth had felt so relieved that the two were making friendly overtures...what would this do to the budding relationship? Elmore hesitated, swallowed... Sam sighed heavily. Again. Sam: You mean he's been . . . in love with her for 20 years? Beth took a deep nervous breath... I sat on the footstool at Sam's feet, reached to take his big hands in mine. Deb: Yes, 20 years. Hopelessly...helplessly. And he wants her to be happy so badly that he's willing to stand back and stay out of your way. She knows how he feels. It's breaking her heart. Elmore's lips brushed hers, no more pressure than a breath of air. He breathed in her scent. Sam looked down at my hands and muttered under his breath... Sam: Christ! He looked up at me, shook his head slightly. Sam: No wonder he called us nearly every day we were on vacation. Beth closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against Elmore's. Deb: Hell of a mess, ain't it, big brother? I didn't know if it was such a wise idea to give out her cell number, but he was so lost, he missed her so I finally just had to. And he likes you. Elmore's fingers went where they'd always wanted to go, deep into her hair. Elmore: Can I? Just once, can I? Sam transferred my two hands into one of his, rubbed his eyes with the other. Sam: Poor kid . . . I oughta be more pissed off at 'im. Beth clenched her jaw in an effort to hold back tears. She nodded wordlessly at him. Deb: Poor Elmore...for that matter poor Beth and poor Sam. Everybody knows and there isn't anything anyone can do. There's no way to fix this. Elmore tipped his chin and kissed Beth, longing barely restrained, passion reined in fiercely. Sam cracked the knuckles on his free hand. Sam: How'd you find out? Neither one of 'em's ever said anything about it. Beth just said she's known him for a long time. Beth grinned around his kiss and slipped her arms around his neck. Elmore tightened his embraced, deepened the kiss. I covered Sam's hand with one of mine. Deb: Don't crack your knuckles, Sammy...sounds like you're gearing up for a fight. I was helping Elmore unpack some of his stuff...I got him some bookcases and shelves for his room and I thought I'd help him out. I dropped one of his yearbooks accidentally...and it just fell open to the page she was on. Of course I was surprised...I'd always thought he knew her because of Bill. Sam snorted lightly. He wasn't entirely successful at suppressing a grin. Sam: Looks like somebody beat Strannix to the punch for once. Deb: And you love it, y'big brat. Bill's not much for sloppy seconds. Serves him right. Beth and Elmore were just starting to get...close... again, when Bill came blasting into her orbit. Just overwhelmed her. Elmore didn't have a prayer. Lightly Elmore rubbed her waist, her back between the shoulderblades. It was all he could do to hold back as far as he knew he must. It was sweet...so sweet... Deb: Sam, just promise me you won't...say anything. Please? Sam unleashed yet another heavy sigh and planted his chin in his hand. Meantine, out with the food, Augustus watched with what passed for a bright look as Bill fumbled several deviled eggs out of the fridge. He lined them up in a row on his forearm, then plucked them off one by one and ate them, daring the dog to make a move. He drank deeply at his beer. Eggs and beer...the punk would pay for this. Sam's voice was gruff. Sam: All right, all right. Now go bust them up before I go out there with the urge to bust him up. Deb: I'm not bustin' anything up. And neither are you. He knows, better than you do, what his chances are. So we'll wait a minute, and then I'll look to see if all's well. Deputy Sam got a face full of Ma, another Mexican Standoff. Finally, reluctantly...Elmore released Beth. He rubbed her shoulders gently as he set her away from him. Gasping, Beth tried to catch her breath. Beth: Whew! I hope that lived up to whatever was in your head. She tugged at the top of her sweater in the hopes of getting some cool air inside. Elmore: Guess it's gonna hafta, ain't it? He reached out and touched her hair softly once more. With his thumb traced the line of her brow almost reverently then withdrew, stepped away, smiled down into her face. I watched from the den, waiting to let Sam loose. Deb: I can't stand it...I don't know how she does... Meantime, in the wings... Billy: Touch that goddam egg, hound... Beth grabbed the front of Elmore's shirt and shook him in mock anger. Beth: Rrrrrrrrrrrr. You're the sweetest guy, Elmore. She put her arm around his waist and led him away from the doorway. Elmore shook himself once, then looped his arm around her shoulders. Business as usual... Deb: Okay, Sam...it's clear... I found myself firmly moved out of the way. Sam headed up the hall and I had to stop to watch the strut... Beth and Elmore sauntered to the kitchen in search of food. As she passed him, Beth hit Bill's arm so the eggs fell to the floor. Augustus practically inhaled them. Bill's instant response was to pick Beth up and sit her in the remaining eggs. The now loud scuffling in the kitchen brought Sam and I soon followed. Elmore was seated at the breakfast nook, laughing delightedly. To look at him, nobody would ever guess that he had a care in the world. Beth was trying to scrape egg off the seat of her pants, with serious interference from Augustus who was trying to help. Bill appeared to have had several deviled eggs launched into his hair. Beth was laughing at Augustus, the black and white spotted puppy, and she took the opportunity to smack Bill in the stomach with the back of her hand. Beth: Doofus! Bill doubled over, taken completely by surprise and sweeping the remainder of the eggs onto the floor. Deb: Strannix, you ass! Bill raised his eyebrows, mishievous grin crossing his face. He flung egg goo at me. Then he turned his attention back to Beth, beckoning her with his index finger. Bill: C'mere, runt. You're gonna pay for that. The egg goo splatterd both Sam and me. Two separate feet began tapping, two sets of arms were folded across two chests. I was trying not to break up. Beth: Pay for nothin'! I'm tryin' to stay on top of my cholesterol, but this is ridiculous. I scraped egg goo from my hair while taking measured steps to the fridge. From it, I removed the coconut cream pie. I had just decided to give it to Bill. Elmore had turned red from laughing so hard. Beth attempted to sidestep Bill, but sliped on the egg-ed floor, allowing Bill to get to her and grab her by the back of the neck. Beth: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! I was approaching Bill from behind, brandishing the pie. Elmore's eyes got huge in his face and he fell back against the wall. Deb: Oh, Biii-iiill. Sam was grinning hugely; though he started forward initially, he decideed Beth's howls were all in jest. He could tell by her expression that she wasn't being hurt. Bill whipped around, intending to silence me with a well-executed remark. Instead, he had no idea what had hit him, but hit him it had. Bill still had hold of Beth with one hand, wiped his face off in slow motion with the other hand. Augustus was prancing on his back feet while trying to lick various food items off Bill. Bill raised his pie encrusted eyebrows, chuckling... Bill: Ohhhhh, girl. That was a mistake. Elmore tried to catch his breath Elmore: Get on outta there, Sam, before they nail ya! Bill had a handful of pie filling. With deceptive slowness, he launched it at me. I knew it was coming, pranced out of the way. Sam took the coconut pudding and whipped cream square in the face. Meantime, Augustus managed to actually flatten Bill, allowing Beth to dive clear. Augustus sprawled deliriously on Bill, furiously licking. Deb: That's it, Gus...wash Daddy's face... Beth looked at Sam, grinning. Sam looked at Beth. Sam: What? Beth's reply dripped with innocence, mock innocence. Beth: Nothing. Sam casually wiped the pie from his cheek, smiled lovingly into Beth's face...and scrambled her curls with the hand already full of pie. Deb: Hey, Beth...I've got a lemon meringue for Sam. Wanna give it to him? Elmore was nearly comatose watching Bill attempt to fight his way out from under Gus, in the middle of the slippery, sticky tile floor. Woodrow was hovering along the edges, attempting to get in the odd lick. Beth smirked up at Sam. Beth: Oh. THAT. Was just completely uncalled for. She wiped some remaining egg goo off the cabinet, walked calmly up to Sam, planted her hand squarely in Sam's chest, and slowly wiped the goo down his shirt. Elmore had fallen out of the chair and lay doubled up with laughter on the floor. Sam scraped a fingerful of the goo from his shirt, tasted it. Sam: Not bad. Always did like deviled eggs. But you used Miracle Whip, Deb...gotta use mayo. Deb: Them's fightin' words, Deputy. Beth? I offered Beth the lemon meringue pie. Bill was yelling at Augustus, to absolutely no avail. Sam gave Beth a mock stern look. Sam: You sure you wanna get cute with me? Beth grinned and nodded "yes". Deb: He's beggin' for it, Beth. Elmore: Aw...no...I'm gonna hurt m'self... Deb: That's right, Gus...clean Daddy's bottom... Beth smiled...her look was perfectly angelic... Sam strained to keep the grin off his face, let his voice drop into its authoritative register. Sam: Don't. Even. Think... Beth: Boom. Sammy stood there with custard dripping off his face. I fell down on top of Bill, howling. Beth darted away, slipped in the crap on the floor, and landed on me. Bill: Finally!! Bill grabbed both of us in headlocks. Elmore was done for. Woodrow regarded him with doggy contempt. Bill had just been hit with God knew how much boneless female weight and he was still functional. There had to be a limit. Both Beth and I plunged fingers into his sides. We werent afraid of head noogies, he had no free hands. It was the principle of the thing. Sam stepped forward to rescue Beth, slipped, and swandived forward, landing on the two of us. Elmore rolled onto his face. Bill's face went red from all the weight. Bill: Jesus H. Christ!! It wasn't so much that he had Beth and me, as we were all trapped in the pile-up. Beth was laughing and saying "ow" at the same time. Sam began tugging on Beth's waist. I was demanding immediate and unconditional release, threatening to bite my adversary on the first thing I could reach, problem being I couldn't reach anything. Sam planted his foot on Bill's hip and yanked. Beth knew how a wishbone felt. Sam pulled himself and Beth free, Sam sliding back a couple feet from the force, Beth landing on top of him. Bill only limply had his arm draped over me. Beth looked at me. Beth: Elmore's too clean. Deb: I think you're right. Beth: Oh, Elmore...sweetie... Elmore looked up... As if driven by a single thought, the four of us managed to scrape together enough of the crap Augustus hadn't managed to get, and we whaled it at Elmore. He took it dead in the face. Woodrow immediately set to work cleaning it off him. Beth looked at me. Beth: Happy New Year! I looked at Beth. Deb: Welcome home! TO BE CONTINUED.....
This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page