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I was at work, and for once quite thankful to be there...
Deb: Best Buy Service, how may I direct your call? Sam: We need to talk. Deb: Sam!? Where are you? Sam: Warren G. Burger Federal Building, Kellogg and Robert. Get down here. Deb: What are you doing in St. Paul? Sam: Unfortunate little accident. Somebody planted a few...devices...in the ductwork of the building in Chicago. Can't go back there for awhile. Deb: Really? Anybody hurt? Sam: Not exactly. But Cosmo's in no mood to watch Bambi. Deb: Why's that? He get all choked up when Mom gets wasted? Sam: I'm getting cranky, girl. Deb: That's my fault? Sam: I could make a judge think so, you keep rattling my cage... Deb: Sam, I... Sam: Listen up. You talk to me, we'll keep your smart mouth between us. Deb: Where's Beth? Sam: Put her on a plane for Lubbock. Girl was helpful...to a point. What did THAT mean? I hoped there was no reason for Billy to care. Deb: She caved? Sam: Manner of speaking. Deb: Hang on, Sam, I've got another line coming in...Best Buy... Billy: Where the hell are you? Deb: Earning my keep and paying Gerard's salary, where else would I be? Where the hell are you?? Billy: Your place. Deb: Man! How'd you get in? Billy: Thought about comin' in through the window but I was too tired. Used the door. Deb: What if... Billy: Stick a sock in it, baby, nobody followed us. Where's the pipsqueak? Deb: I have no idea. Who's 'us'? Billy: Me and Ryan. Deb: Oh, Christ. Where's that stupid truck parked? How did you find Ryan? He ditched me in Madison. Billy: I picked him up in Madison. I was right behind your ass the whole way up. You think I'm stupid enough to go back to Texas right away? Too damn hot. Same for Boston. Deb: Hang on a minute...Sam?... Sam: Haven't got all day, girl. You comin' down or do I come get you? Deb: Can I come down after work? Sam: Good enough. Don't make me come lookin'. Deb: I won't. Sam? Sam: What now, girl? Deb: Why didn't you go to Milwaukee? Sam: What, and miss bein' close to one of my favorite girls? Get down here. Deb: I will. As soon as I can. 'Bye, Sam...Billy... Billy: When you comin' home? Deb: I have an appointment after work at the Federal Building in St. Paul... hold on, another line's ringing in...Best Buy Service... Beth: Deb? That you? Deb: Yeah! Beth, how'd you get my number here? Where are you? What happened? Beth: I called one of the stores here and pretended to be somebody with a computer I needed fixed. They gave the number right out. Deb: Buttheads. Sounds about right. What happened on your lunchdate? Beth: He almost got what he wanted. I told you he would, if I was alone with him, and he almost did. The only thing that saved me was what happened at the Federal Building. I told you. Where's Bill? Deb: My house again. Sam told me he put you on a plane for Lubbock. Beth: Sam? Deb: Yup. He's working out of St. Paul until they get his place cleaned up. No reason, except he can pester me from here. Are you back in Lubbock? Beth: No way. My plane stopped in Kansas City. I jumped off and changed my ticket to Atlanta. Jeanie's hiding me. Deb: Hope she hides you good. Beth: She'll try. It's a little obvious, but it was the only place I could think of on a moment's notice. Does Billy know where I am? You know how he finds things out. Deb: Hasn't said anything to me. I'll keep my trap shut...hold on, Billy's on the other line...Billy?... Billy: What's goin' on? You heard from the pipsqueak? Deb: No, why would I have heard from her? What are you going to spend the day doing? Billy: Gonna bag a few z's, order in a pizza or three, hit the liquor store, get some pay per view wrestling. Why? Deb: Where's Ryan? Billy: Crashed already. Boy had a busy day. Kicked that redhead out of his waterbed and now the damn ferret's curled up on his ass. You hear from the pipsqueak, I wanna know. She gets around the Dawg, her mouth runs like a cheap faucet. Deb: Sure, Billy. hang on...Beth... Beth: What's he want? Deb: Quote: You hear from the pipsqueak, I wanna know. Then there was something about you and Sam and a cheap faucet. Can't say he doesn't know you, Beth. Beth: I'm in trouble. But what could I do? He took me to a restaurant, he sat next to me, we had surf and turf, he took off his jacket, he was wearing a tight polo shirt. I'm only human! Deb: You didn't have a prayer, did you? Beth: I was gone the second he put his arm around me to walk me across the street. Deb: There are worse ways to have an anuerysm. Man's brutal. Beth: You'd better deal with Bill. I'll e-mail you later. Deb: Yeah. He's threatening to get pay per view wrestling. I should tell you, I've been ordered to put in an appearance in Sam's office this evening. If he gets anything out of me, I might be joining you down there. Beth: Either one of us gives him up we might just as well volunteer for medical experimentation. It's the only thing that'd be less painful. Bill hates hospitals. Good luck. Deb: Thanks. I suspect I'll need it. Stay safe...Billy... Billy: What's goin' on? Deb: I run a switchboard, settle down. Billy: Good job for you if you run it half as fast as you run your mouth. You're gonna have to clean out the garage, you wanna put your car away. Don't bug me 'till you get home. And you better get home. It took me nearly an hour and a half to get from the Bloomington Strip to downtown St. Paul. I parked my car and hurried over to the Federal Building, where I was stopped at the doow by a security wonk behind a bank of monitors. He was a leftover from the Oklahoma City bombing, no doubt. And he was very jumpy, a leftover from Chicago, no doubt. Deb: I'm here to see Deputy Marshal Sam Gerard. Wonk: Is he expecting you? Deb: That's putting it mildly. Where's his office? I can find him. I'll just follow the sound of the bellowing. Wonk: I'll have to have someone escort you. On account of Chicago. Deb: Oh? What happened there? Wonk: Some smartass planted a bunch of stinkbombs in the Federal Building. It'll take 'em months to get the smell out. I'll call up there, hold on... yeah, lady here to see Sam Gerard...she'll wait. Okay, thanks...fellow by the name of Renfro on his way down. Deb: Oh, joy. The Barfing Wonder from Chi-town. I've met Cosmo. Cosmo barged across the lobby and grabbed my arm. I wasn't one of his favorite people and I hadn't even done anything. All I had to do was be seen with Billy. Cosmo: There you are...let's go...he's not a happy camper...neither am I... I saw you laughing your damn head off over there while I was hurling my guts out...you know how sick I was? Deb: No, Cosmo. How sick were you? Cosmo: Never mind me, you'd better worry about Sam. Cosmo brought me to the St. Paul office of the U.S. Marshal's service. The room felt unbearably crowded, with most of the crew from the Chicago office sandwiched in with the regular staff. We threaded our way through the desks, on our way to the back of the big room. Sam: Cosmo, you bring that woman back here now! Deb: Oh, boy. Sam: Come on! Hurry up! Deb: Keep your shirt on...what am I saying? Coming... Sam had been given a tiny private office. I noticed his pewter statue of a Frederick Remington sculpture had come with him - obviously it was one of the few things from the Chicago office that didn't stink like the devil. He sat behind the desk and stared at me levelly. Sam: What do you know about that little stunt yesterday? Deb: It was pretty funny? Sam: Funny? What the hell was funny about it? Deb: I don't know. I like low humor. What can I say? Sam heaved a huge sigh and sat, staring at me. I stared back, scared but not showing it. Then, all of a sudden, Sam seemed to have made some sort of decision. He visibly relaxed, smiled gently. I smelled trouble. Big time. Sam: I think I could get you to talk, if I worked at it. Deb: You sound sure. Sam: I am. He stood up from his desk, walked around it and stepped behind me. He leaned over my chair, his hands on the arms on either side of me, forcing me to tip my head back into his midsection if I wanted to see him. Sam: I've never been wrong yet. Deb: Always a first time. Sam moseyed on back behind his desk, casually peeling off his sportcoat as though it had become unbearably hot in the little office. Beneath it he wore a black t-shirt with the stenciled logo of his profession and his district. It fit like a glove. All the spit in my mouth dried up. Sam draped his jacket over the back of his chair and then came back around the desk again. He sat his nicely packaged lower half on the desk, putting the breathtaking upper torso at approximately eye level. Beth had described the 'ordeal' of her lunchdate. How had she managed to withstand this onslaught of testosterone in any way? Sam: You and I don't see eye to eye, do we? Deb: I never disagree with you, Sam. Sam: But you don't...help me. If he'd said co-operate, i might have become oblivious to his manifold charms. As it was, his choice of verbiage merely served to further destroy me. The dark eyes, usually snapping with impatience, were calm and warm and caressing. The voice was low and gentle. Talk about crumbling. Deb: You're manipulating me, Sam. It's not fair. Sam: Why isn't it fair? Deb: Because you guys are trained in marksmanship, martial arts, psychological warfare and general dirty tricks. That's why. Sam reached over and softly patted my hand with his huge paw. Sam: Have I ever given you any reason to be afraid of me? Haven't I always helped you? Protected you? The big hand stayed atop mine. My hands are large for a woman and I keep my nails (mine, by God, because I paid for 'em!) rather long, but my hand felt positively dwarfed by Sam's humongous mitt. I felt warmth spreading through my body and my traitor brain started to liquify. Another minute or three and Sam would have me singing like a canary. Deb: No, I've never been afraid..but you've been...forceful at times... Sam: Do you trust me, Deb? The hairs on the back of my neck rose. I was in dangerous territory, here. Sam had started throwing the word 'trust' around like confetti before his campaign against Beth's elaborate defenses had kicked in. Deb: It's not a matter of trust, Sam, but if it were, your little Candid Camera operation wouldn't recommend you very highly. Sam leaned forward, giving me a noseful of cologne. He picked my hands up, held them in his. He ran his thumbs lightly over the backs. His gaze held mine - in my minds eye I had a vision of Sylvester the Cat going to pieces. Sam: Girl, I'll tell you what I told Beth. I'm sorry about the method of surveillance we chose. It was invasive, and I apologize for all of us for resorting to such underhanded tactics. But I don't and I won't apologize for doing everything in my power to protect both you and Beth from the likes of Bill Strannix. Deb: Sam, I don't exactly feel like I need to be protected. Sam: Strannix is like a disease in the body of our society, little one. I'm the vaccine, is all. Little one? The big guns were coming out, the bombardment had started, and I was being shot up. Deb: It's...we're...Billy...I... Sam: This is why you need to trust me. Strannix wears many hats, querida... Querida? Querida??!! Lord, Lord, Lord! Sam: ...and one of them is charmer. He'll use you, and when he doesn't need you anymore, you're on your own. Invading my house, commandeering my television, telephone and computer, teaching my sons from the Strannix Manual of Irritation, threatening me with undefined mayhem was charming? Deb: Is this any different, Sam? Really? Sam moved toward the edge of the desk. Closer to me. Sam: In some ways, no. In many other ways, yes. The cologne was making me dizzy. Deb: You lost me, Sam. I'd been lost since he took my hands, who was I kidding? Sam: I'm not just protecting truth, justice and the American Way. I'll leave that to Superman. I'm protecting two ladies who have come to be very soecial to me. The one remaining cell in my brain that wasn't mush wanted me to say 'why, because we can get you close to Billy?' but the rest of the cells were in the way and my mouth seemed to have fused shut. His voice washed over me like soft, warm rain. I shuddered. He saw it, and a triumphant smile spread over his face. Sam: Now... Billy: Where you got my girl, Gerard! Saved! Ryan: Let's be havin' her now, Samuel! Billy: Out of my way, Cosmonaut, where the hell's the Dawg? Ryan: Back here, Billy-boy. There you are, Little Darlin', time to go home. Billy: Why didn't you tell me you were comin' down here to the Pound? I'd've come with you, t'keep you outa trouble. You're in deep, now, girl. Sam: Surprise, Strannix, we agree on something. Sam's eyes glittered evilly. I had some answering to do, or some hiding. I intended to arrange for the one before I had to do the other. Deb: Sam...I...well...my mom's calling. Stupid, but totally unexpected and just off the wall enough to work. I bolted for the elevator with my two saviors right behind me. I could hear Sam howling at Cosmo and Bobby, warning me to get back there now. I ignored him, concentrating instead on getting clear of all of them. It was close, but I made it. For the moment... TO BE CONTINUED...
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